wasteland, baby!

signing up to work the kissing booth was perhaps naomi’s worst decision to date. it was supposed to be a joke, put her name on the list and laugh about it for a second or two then forget all about it and inevitably never show. but then her neighbor had signed up, fully intentionally, and all but dragged naomi to their shared shift. worst of all, kimmy was being extra loud about the whole affair, shouting into the passing crowd “kisses for a dollar!” it was like something out of her nightmares, literally. she was all but burying her face in her hands when she felt a shadow fall over her. looking up from her seat and peeking through a hole in her fingers, naomi sighed. “how can i help you?”

Watching the horror flash over Naomi’s face every 30 seconds as her friend continued to embarrass her - and she really was being overly obnoxious at this point, which was saying something coming from Teddy - he eventually found himself making his way over, if not to tease Naomi further in closer proximity, “You look absolutely miserable,” he pointed out, snickering all the while, “Kinda spoken for, I guess, but. Thought maybe I could steal you away. At least for a bit, before you start eating your hair. They give you breaks, don’t they? Feel like those have to be mandatory so your lips don’t fall off or something equally as horrifying.”

“it feels like it’s the hottest day yet, right? is it just me? but like, the best kind of hot,” levi asked from the spot on the floor he’d chosen to sit at for the past half hour or so, for some reason he couldn’t remember, with a deck of cards on his lap that were definitely not his. he hadn’t meant to get fucked up this early, but he’d been in charge of helping a friend out with setting up a booth, and his reward had come in the form of a very nice high he was happily riding as he watched people pass by the booth. “wanna see a card trick? it’s free, i promise, but it’s actual, real magic, i swear on my life.”

Gasping gently, Teddy hadn’t even noticed Levi sitting quietly beside him, ready to pass him without a second glance until he’d said something, “Oh, Jesus fuckin’ Christ. Feel like I just saw god, haven’t been that scared since I heard John Travolta was into men,” Scratching at the back of his neck when Levi offered to show him a magic trick, Teddy figured it couldn’t hurt just to appease him - it’d make him late to meet up with Blake, but as if he was about to mention that, “Uh, yeah, sure, okay. Unless you’re just gonna guess my card. Bit of a lame trick, Levi. Kinda hoping you’re about to tell me my future or something.”

“That’ll be three dollars and a promise to adopt me for the night now that my shifts over,” Maggie said, hand extended through the ice cream truck window for the money. “Don’t want to go home yet because all the Lawrence clan is out and last time I was alone there at night, totally convinced myself we had a poltergeist.”

“Three dollars?! Give it to me for free,” Teddy demanded, pulling the hand back that had a $5 bill in tow, “I still think there’s something wrong with that house. Like the ghost of our parents are coming back to haunt us some more. Even if they’re not dead,” Nodding for Maggie to step out of the ice cream truck, Teddy took an obnoxious lick of the soft serve as it already started to drip in the Vermont heat, “Want some? Must be fuckin’ sweaty back there. Shouldn’t have worn black,” he grumbled, pinching at the collar of his black t-shirt.

“Oh, thank God,” Blake said, rushing toward Teddy once he’d finally found him after what felt like an hour of searching, but was less than fifteen minutes. “I missed you so much, it’s disgusting,” he continued, smile still present on his face as he tugged Teddy closer by the hem of his shirt. Idle stares had him scoffing, shaking his head. “Think they’ll ever get over we’re both unfaithful cheating scumbags and just move on?” he asked, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I’m hungry. What do you recommend, Carny?” @teddylaws

Lips tinted blue thanks to the sugar-sweet dye in his slushie, Teddy flashed Blake a toothy grin around his straw when he saw the younger from the other side of the games area, practically hopping towards him after an overly excited wave, “God can’t even handle leaving me to get a slushie. What’s gonna happen when we’re 80 and it takes me an hour to bring you your morning coffee?” Glancing at someone giving them a particularly disappointed look - something more along the lines of genuine concern than actual anger - Teddy took the time to give them the same overly exaggerated wave he greeted Blake with before reuniting, “Whatever. Kinda like the attention anyway,” he snickered, leaning in for a kiss to really punctuate his statement. “Ever tried deep-fried butter? I think they have it, feel like you should give it a shot. I’d do it but I’m scared it’ll taste like shit,” Teddy said, arm thrown around Blake’s shoulder as they headed in the direction of the food, “Bought a few of these,” reaching into the small front pocket of his floods, Teddy let a small baggy of pills poke out, “think imma take one soon. You in?”

“is that all ye got?! my gran’s got better aim than yer’s and she’s six feet in the dirt, ye weakling!” mo leaned forwards on the seat inside the dunk tank, fingers curling around the chain link fence and wild curls - natural red poorly bleached to blonde - flying behind her, “i want you to put me in the fookin’ ground, ye peedy bastard!” the boy - looking about as old as a high school junior - threw his last ball, shakily - missing by a large margin; much to the exasperation of mo. she made a loud ‘ER!’ sound - rattling the fence before sitting back, “get outta here, christ almighty - next!”

“Yeah, her gran’s six feet in the dirt, weakling!” Teddy squawked after Mo, fake Scottish accent more horrendous and obnoxious than anything else. Taking a sip of his beer, which he’d been told several times he couldn’t drink while working the dunk tank, he held it out to Mo for her to take some too, turning to the kid sat on the diving board dangling over the water when he heard him calling, “Uh, Mister? I really have to pee. What do I do?” Blinking, Teddy turned to Mo, holding up a finger to the next person in line, balls already in hand, “Mo, the kid needs the washroom. Should we, like. Let him go? Let him piss in the dunk tank? What’s the procedure here?”

Benji: almost but I got out just in time

Benji: kinda disappointed tbh

teddy: it's fine if you ever get back i can guarantee you'd be traded for a carton of cigarettes so fast

Benji: shit ya I’ll text her

Benji: oh god... ok

Benji: also p.s. did you hear I was in jail? Was wild

teddy: ya thts fcking insane benji

“Is that like… a warning?” he asked, chuckling softly. “Promise not to fuck your mom. Scout’s honor.” Blake smiled fondly at Teddy as he spoke of the trip, nodding his head at his question. “I want to. They expire anyway, so they’ll just go to waste.” Lips pressed together for a moment, he nodded his head slowly. “Okay… As long as you’re sure me being there is like… it’ll be fine,” he agreed. “I’ve only ever been there with my family, so…” he trailed off for a moment, as if that was enough explanation. “Where in California is it? Big state, you know? At least, so I hear.”

“Oh, thank god. Feel so much better now,” It was a shitty attempt at teasing, heart hardly into it as he mulled over Blake’s words. Those brought a genuine smile to Teddy’s face, leaning in to press an elated kiss to the other’s lips, “That’s - you’re, like... my favourite person. What the hell,” he gushed, cheek pooching gently as he placed it into the palm of his hand, “Course I want you there. You’re... pretty much my family now, so. It’ll just be another family trip. Two bros out on the town!” Index finger running absentmindedly over Blake’s knuckles, Teddy shrugged at his question, “San Diego, I think. Was kinda hoping it was, like, LA territory but those places are super far from each other, I think.”

benji: fuck

benji: why

benji: that’s fucked up. They don’t know where he is?

teddy: lana was kinda hysterical idk the like proper story

teddy: think he found out they hooked up or something?

benji: hospital???

benji: what? Who’s in the hospital????

teddy: his name's zeke van doren

teddy: i don't really know him well but i guess that moron lana was dating beat him pretty bad

teddy: it's not good from what i heard

benji: hey

benji: sorry if this is weird but uh

benji: have you heard from lana today?

teddy: omg u remembered me........... a lowly peasant........ i am unworthy 😩

teddy: oh ya

teddy: [...]

teddy: ya she's not doing too well

teddy: i met up with her at the hospital

They’d tried Caleb three times, her brother being the obvious choice for an emergency contact in a situation like this, before giving up. Lowering down onto the spot of hospital linoleum in front of her, the officer she’d been assigned kept her knees hunched as she crouched at eye level with Lana on the chair, voice so light that she almost didn’t hear it. “Is there anyone else I can call, honey? Parents, maybe…?” The past seventy minutes since arriving had been a blur. The backs of her thighs stung slightly, so she could deduce, at least, that someone had swabbed them sterile, gently wiping the flecks of grit from the graze she’d earned tumbling out of the back of the car. Maybe she’d been checked for a concussion, too, because whenever she blinked, there was a fat black splodge embossed onto the backs of her eyelids, the kind you’d earn from a torch shone in each eye to monitor the pupil. She couldn’t remember saying his name, though. Couldn’t remember answering the question. In fact, she only realised she had when she heard footsteps pattering down the hallway, officer beside her rising to her feet so that she could go over to the door, soft click seeing the handle tugged open. She stepped aside to create room for an entrance, greeting the nurse that had escorted him with a mute smile. “I’ll… We’ll give you a moment. That alright?” Waiting for clarification, Lana couldn’t seem to do anything except nod, a hand cropping up to give a limp swipe at her cheek. “Okay, then. I’ll be right outside, Lana.” Stepping out, the officer pulled the door shut behind her. It took a few soft sniffs for her to find her voice, but when she finally did, it was apologetic. Small. “Hey. Sorry they… called. I know this–… I know we’re not really talking, I just–… I don’t know. I guess I asked them to. I guess I–… I guess I said your name.” @teddylaws

“Bullying isn’t real, Teddy,” he joked, shifting in his seat as Teddy began to explain the situation. At first, he just stared, struck by the idea of going to California where for the most part, he felt he stuck out like a sore thumb. There was something about Manhattan dwellers and California that just didn’t mix well. Then, he clued into what Teddy had said. “Your mom?” he repeated. “Like your biological mom?” Clearing his throat, he nodded his head. “Okay,” he said. “I can get tickets, Teddy. I have like thousands of frequent flier miles and discounts.” Smiling, he shrugged. “Haven’t been to California in a few years. Might be nice. Maybe it’s changed. Would it be weird, though? If I went?” he asked. “Are you even like… out to your mom?”

Childishly, Teddy stuck his tongue out at Blake. An impulsive act, as if it’d help him stay calm. Not that there was anything to panic over - he should’ve figured Blake wouldn’t have been anything less than completely understanding, “Yeah. Annie. She’s really pretty,” he declared, sounding more like a bragging five-year-old than a 23-year-old trying to make amends with his estranged mother, “I mean, like, she sent me a picture. She actually looks way better than the last time I saw her, so,” When Teddy glanced back at Blake, there was probably shock glazed over his features. It wasn’t shocking that Blake was encouraging, but going as far as offering to get the tickets made Teddy’s heart swell, dopey smile appearing, “Seriously? You really don’t have to do that for me, Blake, that’s, like... a lot,” Teddy shook his head quickly at Blake’s next question, “No - no, I don’t think it’d be weird. I’m not... out to her or anything, but. I don’t know... what do I have to lose if she’s not accepting, right? Not like we have a stable relationship. I can’t imagine her being weird about it, though. She’s kinda, like. The nicest woman alive, when she’s sober.”

“Did she? Shit, well maybe if we break it again it’ll realign,” he mumbled, turning in his chair to Teddy at his next question. “California?” he asked. “Why?” Brows furrowing for a moment, he opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Greek mythology thing… They like… they blow wind,” he explained lazily, running a hand through his curls as he glanced back to the girl again as if the faintest sound of breath from her was an inconvenience.

“God, you’re a bully. What if my nose sounded like that? Suddenly you wouldn’t know who I am and you’d... flee the country or something dramatic. Maybe just the state, but. Still,” the grin that appeared as Teddy rambled on with his half concocted daydream slipped somewhat when Blake repeated the question he’d brought up himself, shrugging sheepishly as Teddy began to chew at the skin around his thumbnail, “I don’t know. It’s not a big deal,” a pause before, “My mom’s there. She wants me to come down for this... family therapy thing she needs to do before going back to rehab, and. I don’t know, I haven’t seen her in forever but I was considering it and... thought it’d be nice if I went with someone. Well, you, really,” Quickly, Teddy closed his laptop in the next moment, shrugging again but far more tense with his movements this time around, “I don’t even know how you’d go about buying a plane ticket, let alone... Whatever, just a thought. Feel like it’d be nice and shit out there too, but. I don’t know.”

“It was in the break room,” he said, wearing a look of pity before chuckling lightly. Teddy’s red-in-the-face expression was a dead giveaway for his intentions behind the question and he couldn’t help but egg him along a little. Reaching for the bottle of tequila left uncapped for a previously poured shot, he took a sip and handed it over to Teddy. “What’s with all the questions?” he asked. “Looking for wank material?”

“Oh my god. How many places have you fucked here? How many employees have you fucked? I’m gonna start making a list, see if there’s a pattern. Check out who’s the best fuck. We can start a betting pool!” Graciously taking the bottle of tequila, Teddy’s flushed cheeks only burned darker at Max’s questions. He pondered over the other’s inquiries for a moment, before finally blurting, “I’m, like, super bad at commitment. I had this boyfriend a few months back who was away for a week, and I basically cheated on him with three dudes. In, like, one day too. And now I’m seeing this other guy I really like, but I’m. Bad at commitment. But I want to try,” There was a pause, the two of them staring at each other for a moment, before Teddy took a giant swig of his tequila, “So, yes, maybe I am. Is that a problem?”

“Is it just me or does that girl have the loudest fucking breathing ever?” Blake asked, gesturing toward someone sat in his group that he didn’t particularly know well. “I can’t breathe through my nose either, but I’m not fucking blowing wind like an Anemoi.”

The moment Blake began to insult the girl within a few feet of them, Teddy quickly kicked at his shin under the table they were sat at, “Be nice! Dude, she broke her nose, like, not even 5 months ago or something. It was super fucked, smashed her face off a driveway tryna get away from cops or something,” Turning back to his computer, Teddy hesitated a few moments before continuing, “Would you wanna go on a trip to California or something? And what’s an Anemoi?”

adrian: if livingstone was a reality tv show i think i would be the one who throws drinks in people's faces

adrian: like the villian

adrian: but id have a redemption arc in the second season because i'd shave my head and take a vow of silence. twitter would uncancel me and i've have my own line of unisex boxer briefs

adrian: wby whats your story line

teddy: what

teddy: [...]

teddy: why do your sins get fcking rebuked or wtvr jst bc u shaved ur head and don't talk any more??

teddy: [...]

teddy: i'd be the one that plays double agent