yea so far it's alright

“Not often. Probably not for the best.”

“I think they make a good pair, they’re both some of the best people I know. I’m happy for them.”

“Bit judgmental of you. I actually just got back from a chastity belt fitting, so.”

“Fuckin’ Viktor, probably. Alex accidentally, somehow. Don’t really know if she, like, thinks. Uh... then Freya, I think. Just for some sexy chaos.”

“Ew, Teddy, that’s like… offensive, to even ask. It’s, like, my best quality, the biggest thing I pride myself on. I’ve never seen that show. And I never will. That’s a promise. Like, some guy said ‘bazinga’ over text, once, and I literally blocked him. I almost fled the country so he’d never be able to find me, I was so scared. Whenever I see a ball pit, now, I’m, like… on guard, I swear he’s gonna pop out at me.” It felt strange, holding his hand, like studying a photograph from childhood and distinctly remembering the smell of laundry detergent from your favourite dress, the way the label tickled the back of your neck like a feather down the collar. Shutting your eyes and slipping inside the seams of a good memory. She thought maybe they’d been cut from the same fabric when they’d been made, sometimes, yellow like a scorching sun – she’d never felt particularly yellow, until meeting Teddy, but it was difficult to remember all the ways people made her feel grey when he talked about her like he did. In moments, it was difficult to distinguish where she ended and he began. Touching him didn’t help. Lana ignored the realisation like a missing tooth in her mouth, resisting the urge to poke at the gum with her tongue. Best not to fret about it. Best to chew like nothing was amiss in the first place. “Just, like… frozen, like the taxidermy fox,” Lana bubbled out with, laughter trembling her voice like a rickety house as a train went by. “Did you just rob a bank vault, Teddy? Be honest. Frozen, like… Like you’re… taking a mugshot, you’re – See, that’s better,” she commended when he fell into the swing of things, grin tugging her lips like an itch that wouldn’t quit. It was nice, seeing a bit more life in him. It felt like pumping air into a deflating lilo. She’d blow until she was blue in the face, if it meant it’d help – euphemism backhanding her no sooner did she realise it, her cheeks tinted the subtlest bit pink. “Way more fun. I’ll – okay, wait, I’ll be one of them, you have to guess,” Lana insisted, lifting a hand to match his and taking a tread closer – as she did, her eyes squinted to an obnoxious degree, eyebrows pinched in the middle and jaw clenched to exacerbate whatever bone structure was on display. It was an uncanny Damon impression, in her eyes. Broody and constipated. Rather than hover a palm in front as they did in the show, Lana pressed it right against, unaware of the fault. “Brothahh…” she rasped in her best hoarse impression, something Damon had never in the history of the show sounded like when addressing Stefan. It took a pace around of them like that for her to break character, dimples roused with yet another laugh – if Lana was a sentence, laughter would take the place of every punctuation point, sometimes even the spaces between words. Everything felt funny, when her chest swelled. Making Teddy happy made her fit to burst. “I don’t wanna be vampires,” she dismissed suddenly, furling his hand instead of resting hers flat, held as her other moved to rest on his shoulder. It almost felt inappropriate, swaying with the soft punch of the drum like this, close enough that it veered on a hug, something intimate from a dancefloor at a wedding. “I like you way better alive, I think.” Lana hadn’t said it to be obvious – anything but, voice light as a blanket pulled over someone fast asleep – but it probably was, anyway, what she meant by it. I like you way better alive. As if she could tell he’d been verging on something different. Straying lanes, ignoring the impending horn of a truck with glaring headlights. Poking the pad of a finger to his t-shirt, Lana hummed the start of a laugh when it clung, chin tipped his way to shoot him a fleeting glance – not lingering long, hesitant to blur any lines. “Sticky. Kinda like dancing with a Krispy Kreme donut. I like it. Makes me feel like a frog, suctioned. Good, um… Good grip.” Smiling subtly through the song’s fading outro, Lana was thankful for the string plucks of Never Going Back Again’s beginning – it felt like splashing cold water on her face, in a way, reminding her to review a rule book. “Okay,” she got out like an announcement of upmost importance, increasing their distance with a short step, “this one’s a spinning song. I wanna get, like, super dizzy, like I’m on the teacups – like I’m stuck inside a washing machine, with a bunch of odd socks. You’ve gotta go for it, okay? On your mark, get set…” trailed off, attempting to squash her smile in a bid to concentrate. “Wahlberg.”

The press of Lana’s hand to his didn’t feel as revolutionary as he’d imagined. They’d already been clasping onto each other moments before, tugging him to a stand so that he could shake off whatever wore him down. He’d imagined that too much would’ve been a callback to the chaos he’d caused at Provincetown, would’ve made Lana wrinkle her nose and take a step back, act like he’d practically burned her. But she pressed her palm to his, and the world didn’t end. It just felt familiar, and comforting, “What was that - was that meant to be Damon?” he asked, laughing, drawn out of his daydream as his attention was dragged away from where their hands were pressed together to gaze over Lana’s expression, “That’s uncanny,” Realistically it wasn’t accurate at all, but he wasn’t going to tell her that, “Alright, here - how about,” Brows rising, Teddy’s eyes narrowed as he attempted to encapsulate the judgmental face Stefan wore during scenes involved with Damon. It was just as bad as Lana’s impression, and likewise, Teddy figured himself identical to the character, “I love her, Damon. Eeelenaaaaaaa,” His voice sounded like Teddy had been chain smoking for 50 years straight, playing up the nonexistent growl in Stefan’s voice, “Mine was better,” It was automatic, came as easy as inhaling and exhaling when Teddy let her twist their hands together so that they were clasped in a hold instead of merely pressed together. With a hand falling onto his shoulder, it reminded Teddy of a time that they could share a closeness like this. Nothing romantic, just an intimacy he’d been craving without realizing it for a while now - it felt special, when Lana gave her time and affections like this. Naturally, his hand came to rest at her waist, a picture perfect image of momentary and innocent bliss, a prom king and queen knock off. If he closed his eyes, it felt a bit like they could be frozen in time, smiling figurines inside of a music box. The thought was a comfort, if anything - Teddy wouldn’t mind being stuck here forever, dancing with Lana, pretending nothing was wrong. Perfect moment doused in freezing cold water, Teddy jerked awkwardly at Lana’s simple statement. It probably shouldn’t have made him feeling suddenly so itchy, unsure of what to do with her confession - if you could even call it that. It felt like there was something so sincere in it, sentient thing that he couldn’t even look into the eyes of, “Well,” he finally started, licking his lips - dry, cracked, throat suddenly just as raw as he all but whispered, “that’s lucky for you. I’ve... been lying, this whole time. My last name’s Tuck. Like that family of immortals from Tuck Everlasting. I’m living forever. Impressed?” When Lana leaned back, spent her time worrying over the front of his shirt, Teddy pretended like there was something particularly interesting just above her head. He’d never felt shy around Lana, but this was maybe the closest he’d ever gotten in a while, now - bashful, maybe. It felt different than being nervous, but when she was looking at him as close as they were now, it made him want to hiding under the covers again in case she could see all the worst parts of him now with just a glance, “This one’s one of my favourites,” he blurted uselessly, though it was true. It reminded him of hot summer’s and new starts. When Lana explained their plan of action, Teddy held his grip on her hand, even when she took a step back, “Spinning top roleplay - I can do that. Dunno if you know this, Lana, but they referred to me as a spinster back in the day, I could go for days,” Teddy hadn’t felt this light all summer. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d joked this much without it being for show, cheeks aching with a grin that his muscles must have missed, growing accustomed to it once more. At their cue, Teddy was twirling Lana quickly with the hand he was still holding onto, following suit after. It didn’t feel like when they’d first started dancing, no hesitation this time. After Teddy had sent Lana off into her own spinning tizzy, he was matching her in like, even bounding in the air in an impromptu leaping twirl. It wasn’t anything graceful, but it was easy and mindless fun - something easy and mindless felt like something Teddy unknowingly needed, “Shit,” he panted, head spinning and stomach protesting against the sudden upset - he’d been so distracted he’d almost forgotten how shitty he’d been feeling before Lana had shown up. Taking a stumbling step towards his bed, he’d meant to rest his hand against the mattress, use it to support his weight and keep him balanced. Instead, he missed the mark by a good few inches, letting out a squawk as he went clattering with a thump to the ground, “Shit!” he repeated, previously flailing limbs gripping up the side of his bed awkwardly as he turned to glance at Lana with wide eyes, as if to wordlessly ask Did you see that? By now, Don’t Stop had started up, and with it, a new laughing frenzy from Teddy, “Fuck - way to kill the party, huh?” Holding out a hands towards Lana, he gestured her closer, “Help me up? I won’t lie, Lana, I’m, like, trying not to projectile vomit a bit right now. It’s not my best moment.”

“I used to have this dream that I’d suddenly look, like, identical to Ted Cruz. No explanation - it’d just be who I looked like now, but. I was still me, and no one ever said anything, but I knew what I actually looked like. Could you imagine? Waking up looking like Ted Cruz for no reason? The fact that I can dream up something like that... scariest thing about me, I’d say.”

“Hold? Like, in my hand? Lana’s happy right now, so I’m happy for her.”

teddy lawrence

gunner paxton

leo fowler

Lana ignored the carnage of peel in her lap, pulling another segment – one tucked in her palm, she held the other for him to take, the same way chimps silently divided food between loved ones even if it meant they had less for themselves. Tangerines had were one of her favourites. She didn’t mind. In fact, it eased her mind, in a way – she’d always been a pinch convinced that deeming something a favourite gave it restorative powers, like she’d activated a piece of magic for him to swallow, some star that could light him up from within. “Maybe. He was kinda ugly, though – like, no offence to him, or anything, I just… have eyes, you know? I got an incel vibe. It’s why I said hi, thought it was kinda funny, like… his mouth, it was all, like,” faded as she gaped her own, expression dead. “Thought he was gonna dribble.” Lana popped the fruit in her mouth, squeaking out an exclamation as she leapt to her feet. “Oh!” It’d made a small lump inside her cheek, a hamster stowing sunflower seeds. Stooping, she grasped at the fallen tangerine, plopped in a clump on the duvet she’d left. “God, just, like… flying around the room, the potato with Frank Ocean in the background. So much. Where’s – oh!” Instantly moving to the record player, Lana stroked fingers along it like she was taming a beast before it’d let her pet it. “You should get stickers. Like, suns and stars and sunflowers. Yellow ones. I can get you some. Mine has a bunch, all over – not just those, like, everything, really. This holographic dinosaur playing electric guitar. A bunch of butterflies, the red ones. Emperors. Those are my favourites,” she rambled like he didn’t inevitably know that, a steady stream of sound gushing over everything. A smile clung to her mouth with her back turned, firefly glowing in her chest as it did whenever anyone remembered something about her, no matter how small. “Stevie Nicks is one of the coolest people on the planet, I think. She had this whole thing of, like… guys weren’t allowed to look at her unless she wanted them to. Jensen said she was frigid bitch Mormon but I think that’s kinda cool. He’s gross, anyways. Hairy chest.” Positioning the needle, Lana eyebrows subtly furrowed as she landed halfway through Second Hand News. It took a bit more fiddling to find the end, crackle sounding a few seconds before Dreams kicked in. “Bazinga!” Lana stuck her tongue out in an impression of every ungodly Sheldon fan in the early 2010′s, head tossed back with a laugh. “God, can you imagine if I said that whenever I was super happy? It’s, like, my wedding day, a tears rolling down, I choke out… Bazinga! Ugh. Suddenly I have a receding hairline and a neon green Casio with a built in calculator, just from saying it twice. Cursing myself. So sick.” Regardless, she was grinning. Unable to help but sway around the place, she was in front of his bed within a blink, hand out without giving it proper thought. “Dance with me. We can make it fancy, ballroom style – like Vampire Diaries, with the hands, if you wanna. I’ll twirl you. Come on, Teddy,” she insisted despite his lack of an opportunity to object, snatching his hand and giving a gentle tug. “It’s this song, it’s a crime not to dance to this song. It’ll be fun.”

“Oh,” The single word that her offering produced wasn’t surprised, so much as a dull, monotonous and stunned exhale. It reminded Teddy of easier times with Lana. It reminded him of getting to know the girl that charmed him endlessly and would feed him gloopy, messy spoonfuls of greek yogurt while a movie they wouldn’t pay attention played in the background. There was a night where they tried to watch The Babadook about three times in a row, but he couldn’t recite a single line, plot point, or character name from the entire movie, “Thanks -,” he finally came up with, at the same time that she was bouncing up excitedly. It was nice, seeing her excited. A large part of him thought, maybe, he’d never get to see it ever again. It didn’t exactly feel like he deserved to. A grin had pulled at the corner of his mouth as he watched her bounce around his room, in typical Lana fashion, only to be distracted when he bit noncommittally into the slice of tangerine, more so out of something to do than because he actually wanted it, “Oh,” he repeated, brows rising in genuine - then put on - surprise as he stared at the fruit segment like he’d never tried something so sweet before, “Can I have another slice? You’ve got, like, the first place winner of all tangerine’s, here,” Popping the rest of the slice into his mouth, Teddy was already reaching for where Lana had tossed the discarded fruit onto his duvet. Maybe later, it’d dawn on him that things that came from Lana had a finer quality to it - sweeter, kinder, more wholesome. Where he felt he didn’t deserve to spend time with her given what he’d done, she made something as simple as eating a slice of fruit feel like a reward, “I know,” he said automatically when Lana mentioned her favourite butterfly, remembering how happy she was to have it painted onto her cheek at a school game so long ago, Teddy couldn’t even place which sport it’d been for. But he could remember the way she’d ran up to him, adorned it with pride, “I did have some stickers, I think. Left them at home, or something. I don’t know why I didn’t put them on - I don’t know. It’d be nice, though. If you helped - or, if you wanna. My creative eye is throwing up all over the place right now, it’s really dramatic, Lana,” Teddy felt a bit distracted, listening to her continue to talk. Maybe a bit overwhelmed - it used to be that people groaned when they saw Teddy and Lana together, knowing how they could go on for hours, mouths running a mile a minute. Now, he felt like he was watching her go on from just outside of the vicinity of a door, or through a glass window, needing to lean in close to pick up every word. He nodded, though, enthusiastically, eating more of the tangerine. It felt like a comfort as he tried to keep up, “You ever seen an episode of that show? I think they pride themselves on only being funny to smart audiences but even the bits that were meant to just be, like, almost stagnantly funny made me physically cringe,” Blinking when she was in front of him in the next second, Teddy stared at her hand like he’d never been asked to dance with someone before, like he didn’t know what to do with the extended limb. He’d danced with people before - he’d danced with Lana before, more times than he could count - but it’d been so long since he’d done so, with or without her, it felt like he was attempting to follow a conversation in a language he didn’t fluently speak, “Yeah, yeah, okay,” he finally agreed, apparently taking a beat too long, hesitating enough that Lana was taking matters into her own hand and tugging him to a stand. Dropping the fruit back onto his duvet like she’d done moments before, Teddy stood in front of her for a few seconds awkwardly, unsure of where to even start, like it was an exam, stuck on the first question and fretting when he heard everyone flipping over to the next page. Eventually, he put himself together enough that he could follow Lana’s lead, beginning to sway to the well known tune with a laziness in his bones that had previously felt heavy, and now felt like they’d been wrung out, water weight dissipating as he shifted around, “Feels a bit like I’m about to start floating. Astral project all the way to space,” he mumbled, humming along to the song under his breath. Teddy felt the urge to gesture her closer, grasp at her hand so that he could twirl her, really get into the song and let go like they’d used to be able to. The thought, though, made him swallow roughly, instead holding up a hand and nodding to it with a raised brow, “Alright, let’s do it, then. Vampire Diaries style ballroom dance. I think I had it memorized when it first came out, bet I could still do it,” This time, when he gestured her closer, it didn’t feel greedy, a proper excuse to do so dangling in the air between them, “Feels a bit off for Fleetwood Mac, though. Too uppity, like someone shoved a rod up all their asses. Kinda what all their personalities were like, anyway. We’re more fun than that, too, aren’t we?”

Pressing the sole of his boot against his jacket to snuff out the remainder of the flame, Max let out an amused chuckle at Teddy’s graceful entrance. “Your voice is super recognizable, man. Piss kink? Wouldn’t have guessed,” he said, sighing heavily as he stared down at the smokey crime scene before him. Taking the offer of a smoke without hesitation, he reached into his pocket for his lighter and shook his head. “Nah… thing’s fucked. Probably for the best, could have exploded while I was on it or something gruesome. How the fuck would I catch you if I’m drivin’?”

elias: yeah thats the whole point i think...... just playing games in the main room and shadowing/doing rotations

elias: [...]

elias: don't call me that im naïve to these things :'(

elias: [...]

elias: dabbling in so beef jerky?????? interesting :eyes:

teddy: dr. eli

teddy: eats my entire fist

teddy: that's so cute

teddy: [...]

teddy: i say it fondly

teddy: i'll teach u things n b ur Papa

teddy: [...]

elias: [...]

elias: yah mental health unit there

elias: idek if i have to be dressed THAT nicely but i have to make an impression

elias: [...]

elias: ITS INNOVATIVE

teddy: omg

teddy: [...]

teddy: r u gonna b working w the kids on the mental health floor?

teddy: 🥺

teddy: [...]

teddy: :/

teddy: it’s ok, trailer boy.......... i’ll be there in 5.............

teddy: i’m getting smokes do u need anything? i might dabble in beef jerky too

elias: ya its a placement thing

elias: at a hospital

elias: [...]

elias: i dont even know how to iron

elias: couldnt i just hang it up in the bathroom while i shower? my dad used to do that

teddy: AT A HOSPITAL

teddy: WTF DOING WHAT

teddy: is there even a placement. r u stealing blood from patients. tell me i’ll be ur getaway car.

teddy: wtf

teddy: i mean i’m sure u can but that’s a bit primitive eli

elias: KING KING KING KING KING

elias: yo my guy can i borrow one of ur button ups for a job interview u have anything fancy

elias: i dont want to ask jude he hates me and you also appear to be out of the house???? but i dont want to like go through ur shit in case you have skeletons in there x

teddy: WTF A JOB INTERVIEW............. AT SOMEWHERE FANCY???

teddy: jude doesn't hate u don't make me swat u with a newspaper 🔪

teddy: i think i hv a white and/or black button down.......... fancy, i am not, but u cld get away with it if u like where a blazer over it or some shit

teddy: n mayb iron it............. do we even hv an iron >_>

teddy: jst kick the skeleton in there to the side his name's clive and he keeps me company when i'm feeling sad very easy to talk to if ur ever having problems

all   throughout   the   period   of   silence   and   then   his   eventual   affirmative   response   ,   she   bites   on   the   plastic   straw   ,   taking   small   sips   every   few   seconds   to   keep   the   flow   going   .   it   was   on   rare   occasions   that   she   daydrinks   on   an   empty   stomach   and   yet   here   she   is   ,   flinching   ever   so   slightly   with   every   gulp   .   ‘   can’t   go   wrong   with   some   good   ol’   whiskey   ,   right   ?   i   do   deserve   my   own   column   in   every   fancy   journal   .   ’   her   cheeky   smile   only   grows   wider   as   she   speaks   ,   eyes   following   the   direction   he’s   now   pointing   in      .   drinking   endeavors   with   her   as   a   firestarter   usually   result   in   complete   and   utter   chaos   ,   a   fact   she   chooses   to   withhold   for   the   time   being   ,   what   could   possibly   go   wrong   on   a   library   roof   after   all   .   ‘   i   didn’t   even   know   the   roof   was   physically   accessible   ,   but   it   sounds   ideal   .   ’   she   muses   ,   wrapping   an   arm   around   his   .   ‘   your   hair’s   looking   really   good   today   ,   you   have   to   let   me   braid   it   one   day   .   ’

Teddy had decided not to touch on it, thus far, the fact that he was some sort of watered down version of himself now unless alcohol was in his system. Smiles became more real, even if they were still edited, painted on with the same tenderness as a slap to the wrist from a teacher, “Ah, whiskey. My drink of choice,” he never used to be able to stomach it, choosing to stick with clear liquors - vodka, tequila - but somewhere down the line, Teddy had stopped being picky, “Here, lemme see,” Before even giving her a chance to reply, Teddy was already putting on a show, plucking the bottle from nimble fingers to hold it below his nose, inhaling deeply and dramatically, “Ah, yeah. Yeah, that’s the good stuff. Must’ve cost you a pretty penny,” he decided, taking his own sip from her straw with a deep sigh, before handing it back towards her, “What, you didn’t sneak on your freshman year? That’s totally sick, Milla, I’m two seconds away from telling the Campus Crusaders,” A pointless and teasing threat, considering tell them he’d ever snuck on in the first place would get him in more trouble than anything else, “My hair?” he asked, subconsciously running a hair through the mess, lips quirking into a smile a bit more genuine, “It’s not too short to braid? I wish you saw it when it used to be longer - like, real long. I went through a weird hippy phase when I was, like, 19, it was a whole thing,” As Teddy rambled on, he tugged Milla away from the main path casually enough that no passerby’s would question it, walking them through a deserted backway behind the main buildings, “You don’t happen to have a bobby pin on you or some shit like that, do you?”