Tech Support Hates You

Visitor: How can I help you?

Agent: I'm sorry, is there something I can assist with?

Visitor: Yes, can I help you?

Visitor: Madam, can you provide help with a question?

Agent: Yes

Visitor: Ma'am. Is it possible to download all files as one folder onto my desktop?

Agent: Yes, you can do that if you use the software client and just restore the entire volume

Visitor: How can I delete my account and not be billed further?

Agent: I can submit a cancellation request now if you would like. However, if I cancel the account you will not be able to download the files

Visitor: Sir.

Visitor: Can you assist me, sir?

Agent: Yes

Visitor: How can I assist you today?

Visitor: Are you having a wonderful day?

Visitor: I want to make sure that you are having a wonderful day before we proceed our conversatoin.

Visitor: The most important thing is for me to know that you are having a delightful day.

Agent: I am, thank you

Visitor: On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate your day as?

Agent: I suppose it is about a 7

Visitor: How can I make it an 8?

Visitor: Or better.

Agent: I'm not really sure, to be honest

Visitor: Are you sometimes not honest?

Visitor: If you don't finish a sentence with "to be honest", does that mean that you are not being honest?

Agent: No

Agent: Is there something I can help you with?

Visitor: Do you mean, "Is there something I can help you with, to be honest"?

Agent: No

Visitor: TO be honest, I wanted to download all my files into one folder on my desktop.

Visitor: When I tried, to be honest, it says that the folder exceeded the size limit of 500 MB.

Agent: Ok, that's because you tried to download from the web portal. Instead, you should use the software client.

Visitor: TO be honest, I dont know what the software client is.

Agent: You can download it from http://--------------------------------------------

Agent: It is the program that is used to back up and restore files

Visitor: TO be honest, I dont want to do that.

Agent: Ok, then you will be limited to 500 MB at a time, downloading from the web portal.

Visitor: Ok, then I would like to delete my account and not be billed further.

Agent: Ok, I can cancel the account now, as long as you are aware that you will not have access to the files once I delete the account.

Visitor: I didnt finish the last sentence with "to be honest".

Agent: I know

Visitor: (I was not being honest)

Agent: Ok, how about you let me know what it is that I can do to help you?

Visitor: I don't need help.

Visitor: I do need some questions answered.

Agent: Ok, what are your questions?

Visitor: I already asked them, to be honest.

Agent: And I already answered them.

Agent: Do you have any additional questions?

Visitor: Were you being honest when you answered them?

Agent: Yes, I was.

Visitor: But you didn't say that you were being honest at the end of the sentences.

Agent: That is not a requirement in the English language.

Visitor: Ok, thanks . Bye.