Me: (Dislocates character’s shoulder)
Him: WHOA WHOA WHOA. Besides that being really sadistic, I’m carrying a bag in the next chapter.
Me: I’ll just give it to your friend instead.
Him: Yes, but I also have a fight scene coming up, and you can’t swap that out. It has to be me.
Me: I’ll just Google it. Maybe I can shuffle events so you’re less fucked up by the time you have to throw punches.
Me: …
Me: Apparently, you need a sling.
Him: None of us have the materials to make one.
Me: Let me reread the last 10,000 words. Maybe there’s something you can MacGyver.
Him: Doubt it, but go ahead.
Me: …Ugh. Fine. I won’t dislocate your shoulder. But I’m still gonna fuck you up, and it’s gonna hurt a lot.
Him: Obviously.
Me: (Throws him through a window)











