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@tearsonacheckerboard

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Kaya Scodelario with some fans. (1)
Kaya Scodelario with some fans. (2)
Kaya Scodelario with some fans. (3)
Zooey pulled away after their lips briefly met. He could tell he had done something wrong immediately when he touched her as he did.
"Shit," he muttered under his breath, suddenly conscious of his actions. He sat back, allowing her her room, and looked away, deeply disappointed with himself. "No, I shouldnât have," he said, looking at the sleeping boy on the couch. He hadnât moved. Their words were still quiet despite the emotion conveyed in them.Â
Jane's eyes widened as she saw Zooey's face, the same look he'd had when he'd kissed her in the simulator was on his face, and she hated seeing the look of self-loathing on his face. "No," she reassured him quickly, shaking her head, "No, Zooey, this," she gestured towards the tear stains on her cheek, "This isn't your fault.. It's really fine, I swear. It's all my fault..." She took a deep breath to further calm herself, feeling her regain control of her emotions, and reached for his hand, "Please don't feel bad about it, Zo."

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Why are we different?
Zooey pulled away, looking down on her face. His face was a mixture of concern and sadness â sadness to see such a beautiful girl crying before him. He wanted her to stop. He didnât want to see her like this. He didnât even know why it had happened, but he didnât want her feeling this way any longer. The words wouldnât come from her mouth and her lip quivered. He leaned in again, kissing her on the forehead. He kissed her on her cheek, feeling the warm skin beneath his lips. He kissed her on her nose and on her jaw and on her lips. It wasnât right, but he didnât know what else to do.
Janeâs eyes widened as Zooey kissed all over her face, and Jane pulled back after he kissed her lips briefly. Completely overwhelmed by what was happening, when she met his eyes, she half-expected to see Holdenâs as she had all those years ago. âZooeyâŚâ She whispered, looking down at her hands that were folded in her lap, âOh god, Zooey, what are we d-doing?â
The girl wouldn't meet his eyes and curled her legs towards herself, wrapping her arms around them and increasing the space between the two of them. She needed a moment to let everything sink in as the similarities and the memories had shocked her. Taking in a shaky breath, Jane focused on calming herself and slowing her heart rate down.
Once she had brought her breathing down to a normal pace, she finally looked up at Zooey. Her voice sounded terribly small as she spoke, "I'm- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" She paused to wipe the tears off of her cheeks, "I shouldn't have cried, I'm sorry. I should've had some control or something. Th-Thank you, though. For trying to help. You didn't have to, but you d-did and- Thanks."
She turned her face away from his, and immediately he regretted asking her the question. He wrapped his arm around her as he shoulders started to shake. He pulled her closer and with his free hand smoothed the hair from her face. Her hands shielded her face, and he sat blankly staring at her for a moment â young and beautiful with tear stained eyes. Her crying was so heart-wrenching to him that all he could was lean forward and kiss her on the part of her hair.Â
Feeling the pressure of his lips on the top of her head, her sobs intensified, the dĂŠjĂ vu feeling of the moment too much for her. After a few minutes spent close to him with her back turned, her cries subsided slightly and she lowered her hands, turning to face him. Her lip quavered as she tried not to make a sound, the tears sliding soundlessly down her cheeks. She wasn't quite sure what to say, and her mouth opened and closed without a word as she struggled to find the words to apologize.
"Iâd like that," Janeâs mind reflected back on all that had happened those summers sheâs spent with Holden Caulfield and all their checker games together, and she frowned slightly at the memory of the ever-present Mr. Cudahy. Along with the pleasant summer memories, the not so pleasant ones surfaced as well, and it showed on her face for a moment before she was able to collect herself, though it became harder to smile at his next words as her mind raced. âDid you ever catch any?â
Zooey smiled to know she was interested. It was a game he hadnât played in years since his childhood. He missed it. Zooey saw the odd look on her face, but took nothing from it. âNo, Iâm afraid we never did. Seymour always said he saw some, but I donât think I still could believe him,â he recalled. âJane, is something bothering you?â he asked concerned for a moment when he saw any hint of a smile fade at once from her lips.
Jane shook her head automatically in response. Turning away from Zooey to try and collect herself. Instead, her shoulders shook as she remembered the events leading up to her last game of checkers with Holden , the last game of checkers she'd played at all, really. As before, a single tear fell from her eyes and landed on the arm of the love seat, and the girl reached over tentatively and rubbed it into the fabric with her thumb so it wasn't so prominent. Jane hid her face in her hands as the tears formed a continuous stream, the river of memories pouring in, things she hadn't thought about in ages, and for good reasons as they were best left forgotten.
And if you see my dad down by the liquor store, donât tell me anything more.

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âI felt there needed to be a show for teenagers that didnât make them feel judged. âSkinsâ never tried to preach. It allowed young people to make their own decisions about what to do and whether it was right or wrong. Young people really respond to that, and thatâs what sets âSkinsâ apart.â
Zooey smiled fondly as she recounted her memories. He never had very many like that as a child, and if he did, they all were with his brothers and sisters and he didnât like to remember them often or else he would find himself feeling rather low. âWe should play checkers sometime,â he suggested. âFranny never would play with me. She always said I cheated, but she just wasnât that good was all.âÂ
"We never did very much. Trying to take seven kids along somewhere was never very easy. But I missed a lot of the family things being the second youngest, I suppose. Sometimes Bessie would take us to the beach and Seymour would take Franny and I searching for fish all day," he said.
"I'd like that," Janeâs mind reflected back on all that had happened those summers sheâs spent with Holden Caulfield and all their checker games together, and she frowned slightly at the memory of the ever-present Mr. Cudahy. Along with the pleasant summer memories, the not so pleasant ones surfaced as well, and it showed on her face for a moment before she was able to collect herself, though it became harder to smile at his next words as her mind raced. âDid you ever catch any?â
The cigarette was ending its life quickly, and Zooey turned his face just slightly enough to take a final drag off it before pressing it out in the ash tray on the table next to him. He looked back at Jane and smiled at her.
"Sounds just lovely," he said. There was something a bit odd the way she answered at first, but he chose not to question it and pushed it off that he had caught her off guard with the question. "I would have adored a childhood like that with a summer house. Iâm sure you have so many fond memories."
Jane sighed and nodded half-heartedly, âI have a few. We were in the house right next door to the Caulfields; Holden and I would go to the movies and play checkers often. That was always the highlight of my vacations, really.â
Taking out a cigarette of her own, Jane lit it with the lighter on the small table next to the love seat. She paused to take a long drag before she continued, smoke billowing out of her mouth as she spoke, âWhat did the famous Glass family do for fun? Surely you didnât just stay at home over the summer.â
A small smile spread upon Zooeyâs lips, although his attention was diverted when he heard the boy stirring on the couch. âSheâs only a friend,â he muttered softly. He dropped his still burning cigarette into the ash tray, and he walked towards the couch. Crouching down, he smoothed the boyâs hair and smiled to him. âMamaĂ and MĂłraĂwill be home soon.â The little boy nodded sleepily, and Zooey stood over him smoothing his hair until his eyes fluttered back closed. He returned to the small loveseat he had been sharing with Jane and picked up the cigarette again as he smiled at the now sleeping boy. âTell me, what was your childhood like, Jane?â
Jane watched as Zooey went over and soothed the sleepy boy, smoothing out his curls and giving him a reassuring smile as he whispered that his parents would soon be home. She couldn't help but note how good he was with Lionel, and a smile slowly spread across her face as she looked on.
The girl scooted over to try and make room for Zooey as he returned to his spot beside her, and she shrugged at his question. "Just- Like anyone else's, I suppose." There was no need to go into her stepfather, and she tried to skirt around the topic as she continued, "I grew up in New York, you know that. My mother raised me on her own for a while, and we'd go up to our summer house in Maine every year."

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Zooey relaxed back into the couch, making room as she sat next to him, and casually he put his arm on the back just above her. âHeâs four now, I suppose,â he replied in a hushed tone so as not to wake the sleeping boy. âI looked like any other kid â curly hair, big nose and big ears. Alright, maybe a bit like Lionel.â
Jane leaned back into the sofa and hugged a pillow to her chest as the two talked. "I bet you were just as adorable." She giggled, careful to keep her voice quiet. However, the boy across from them blinked his eyes open slightly and she have him a small smile. "Zooey, who's that?" Asked the small voice.