Team Croquette

Steven: Wallace and I are engaged. Lance: That’s great, but I wish you would have asked Cynthia and I first. Steven: Sorry, but you’re not really my type.

Wallace: My life is a mess. Alder: Relax and go get a beer. Wallace: I don’t want a beer. Alder: I never said it was for you.

Geeta: Alder, I need help. Alder: I’ve been telling you all that for years.

Wallace: When I first met you, I didn’t like you. Lance: I’m aware of that. Wallace: But then we started spending more time together because I was dating Steven. Lance: Uh-huh. Wallace: Nothing changed, I still hate you.

Alder, exasperated: Why shouldn’t you put a toaster into a bathtub full of water?? Leon: Because your toast would get soggy.

N: RIP Ghetsis, I hope you’re looking up at me right now. Leon: “Up?” Alder: Did he stutter?

Leon: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Alder? Alder: No. Leon: I think I speak for Alder when I say that sounds super.

Steven: I didn’t get the joke. Wallace: Private message me and I’ll explain. Leon: I also didn’t get the joke. Wallace: Google it.

Steven: Could you all at least try to see this from my perspective? Cynthia: *Crouches* Leon: *Kneels* N: *Sits on the floor* Steven: All of you suck.

Steven: Careful, if you keep being so sweet people are going to start to think that you're in love with me. Wallace: What have I ever done to suggest that I'm not?

Steven: You're kind of a red flag, Cynthia. Cynthia: I'm not a red flag. I told everyone what's wrong with me. That makes me a caution sign at worst.

Leon, looking at a map: It's a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn't it? Alder: Turn it over, Leon.

Lance: I can’t believe clowns are real…  Cynthia: Did you just discover mirrors? Lance: Shut the fuck up.

Steven: So, what's Wallace's type? Diantha: Blue eyes, kind, nerdy, oblivious, rock lover. Steven: That sounds kind of like me. Too bad we're just friends. Diantha: Did I mention oblivious? Steven: Yeah, why? Diantha: Just making sure.

Wallace: I love saying "fuck me" because it can either be sexual or self-loathing, and those are the two things that describe me perfectly.

Diantha: Wallace has been spreading rumors that we're dating. Cynthia: I wish. Diantha: I'm sorry? Cynthia: I said "that bitch."