Summary: The camp counselors try (and fail) to explain the appeal of a hall pass to Shane and Ilya.

- - -

“I would pick Shane,” Rozanov announced proudly to the group.

“That’s not how it works, Rozanov,” JJ said, his accent thicker after his third beer. “You have to pick someone other than your husband.”

“Other than Shane?” Rozanov said slowly.

“Yeah,” Campbell explained. “Like if you could sleep with someone other than Shane with no consequences.”

“Oh, okay,” Rozanov said, straightening his back and considering Shane for a moment. “Then I pick evil twin of Shane who tricks me into thinking he is my angel and then has his evil way with me.”

“No, Ilya,” Hayes said. “That’s not—”

Pike put his hand up. “Actually, I like that. Can I change my answer to Evil Jackie?”

“What?” Carter said. “No! No. Let’s move on. Shane?”

Original lineart under the cut

"Commander, I've reached the target. On my way out." "Yeah, about that... That's not the target."

Too Pretty

Summary: Shane gets a new stylist. Ilya thinks she makes his husband look too pretty. 

- - -

“You look insane, Shane. You are beautiful. Every day you are beautiful. But we go out now. We go to parties. And you make yourself even more impossibly beautiful.”

He took another deep breath. 

“I cannot deal with it!” Ilya said, tearing at his hair. “People cannot stop staring at you. They are wanting to take photos with you. They don't even look at me.” 

In truth, Ilya didn’t care he wasn’t getting the amount of attention Shane was getting. Shane deserved the attention. His husband was a work of art, one Ilya liked to show off when given the chance.

But with the new stylist, with Shane’s slighlty flashier looks, his husband was being noticed by more people. Other people. Other famous people, like models and actors, pretty, young, big-name actors who would pinch at the lapels of Shane’s suits as an excuse to get closer to him. Actors who, without shame, would wrap their fingers around Shane’s wrist, pulling him in for a picture, pressing their cheeks flush against his. 

Anyway I did it.