Skin and bone

When I was younger a series of events changed me. And each time One happened it made it a little worse. Until I couldn’t escape.

So I stopped myself. I stopped myself from doing all the things. All the things that everyone else seem to find so easy.

Home school home. Home school home. Home school home. Always the same.

I have all these vices. And I’m scared. Scared of what I don’t know and scared of change. I fool myself into thinking that I’m keeping myself from danger, from being hurt, that I’m protecting myself. It feels impossible to cope without them. But it’s always okay in the end, right.

And in my own way I’m moving on. From one thing to the next. Though there are still those times when I fall back into that hole.

I separate myself from people, pretending that I’m fine, I’m always fine, but I’m not fine. I do need someone there, someone to bring me back to the ground.

My mind will turn completely normal situations into seemingly impossible scenarios. Most people think like, yeah let’s go out we’ll have a nice time and it will be fun, woo-hoo. My mind is more like, let’s go out, and get started on, and get beaten up. No thank you, I’ll just stay at home.

But there’s only so much home I can take. So many great photos of the night before I’m not in that I can handle. And I’m tired of it.

So this is the point in my story where I have my breakthrough. Where overcome my anxieties and my fears. Where I marry the prince. But this isn’t just a story, and reality isn’t that easy, and there is very rarely Prince.