Seamstress

I hate that depression comes in waves. I was doing so well for 6 months and then I woke up today and thought, "God, I hate my life." I'm back where I started. I just keep going through this cycle and its not getting better. I read all these posts about how life gets better and better things are ahead but it's so hard to believe when right after any step I make in bettering myself I get kicked in the chest. Life throws two middle fingers up and says fuck you, you're not advancing in life, you don't get to be happy. I'm just so tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted and I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss. To top it all off, I'm completely alone. I have my boyfriend but he doesn't really know about any of this. I have no friends anymore. I don't know. I don't know what to do, I don't know who I am, and I'm so so lost. Life needs to get better. It just has to.