anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time

This scene was a national treasure

hayley williams got ripped to shreds over one misogynistic song to the point where she’s had to publicly personally apologize multiple times and has retired the song live and yet every male pop punk band is sitting on albums worth of songs that are misogynistic and violent towards women and they’re all just chillin…….. curious………. i wonder what the difference is…..

does mace work on birds

if a heron is attacking me will mace be an effective deterrent

time sensitive question please respond

not to be corny but friends supporting friends is the most important thing in the whole entire world

trying to comprehend the continued existence of the british royal family….you can’t explain it to someone without it all boiling down to, well they’re given the position they have because Chosen by God and continuity of that special magic through bloodlines. like this is midi-chlorian level of laughable narrative shenanigans only it gets treated like it’s A Real Thing!!! 

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks putting caramel on onions is caramelizing them