The Path Least Taken

note: we are all individuals and so this many not be perfect for every person, but it’s garnered from my own experiences as an autistic person, autistic tumblr, and articles written by autistic self-advocates

do:

-make yourself clear on things. if you want us to do something, be specific. for example, when my mum wants help clearing the table, it’s better if she says “can you put that on the counter” rather than “can you move that”.

-understand that we can’t always pick up on social cues. if you’ve been dropping a hint and we don’t seem to be getting it, don’t get angry, just tell us outright. it’s easier for everyone that way.

-be accepting of stims. stimming is both something autistic people do to calm down, and something we do when we’re happy. stimming is good and normal, and you should support us and our stims.

-feel free to use autistic-specific items like weighted blankets and fidget spinners. popularizing these items makes them more accessible for us, but be careful not to abuse them like what happened with the spinners. that hurts our community.

-listen to autistic people on their individual needs and experiences. autism is a wide range of presentation and symptoms, and every one of us has something unique to contribute.

-say “autistic people”, rather than “people with autism”, unless someone asks you to refer to them as the latter. most of us view autism as part of our identity, and not something that can be tacked on later.

don’t:

-support autism speaks. they are an ableist group of allistics who actively hate autism and autistic people.

-use the terms “severely” or “slightly” autistic. autism is not a spectrum of severity, it’s a spectrum of symptoms and presentations.

-get angry with us for missing social cues. we can’t help it and we’re trying our best.

-use the word r/t/rd. it’s an ableist slur. similarly, don’t use sayings like “that’s so autistic” or “autistic screeching”.

-make fun of autistic people who have “childish” traits like a love of stuffed animals or a hyperfixation on a kids’ show. our minds work differently and it’s not fun to be bullied for that.

-tell us to shut up about hyperfixations. if you’re not in the mood to talk, just ask if we can talk about the subject later, but don’t just blatantly shut us down. it hurts. our hyperfixations are emotionally important to us and talking about them is euphoric.

-demonize lack of empathy. autistic people often have a different level of empathy than allistics, and may feel stronger empathy towards animals or inanimate objects than towards people. that doesn’t make us bad or evil. demonizing a lack of empathy doesn’t help anyone. also, don’t mock hyperempathy.

-compare us to animals. this should be obvious.

again, some individuals may differ from what’s said here, and that’s ok! we’re all walking different paths and we all have different needs. this is just one girl’s take on autism and allyship based on what i’ve read!

do: support ASAN! it means “autistic self advocacy network”, and is a group run by autistic people, to support other autistic people.

do: acknowledge autism is a unique experience for everyone. not one autistic person is exactly the same as another. everyone who is autistic experiences it in their own way. we are similar, but we each have our own set of needs and symptoms/behaviours.

dont: feel sorry for us/imply we are suffering from autism. autism isnt a disease, and we dont suffer from it. instead, we suffer from how neurotypicals treat autism and autistic people. most of our problems come from ignorance, misinformation, uneducation and abuse of us. if you feel sorry for us having autism, you’re implying it is inherently a bad thing.

dont: call us our our parents ‘strong’ and ‘brave’ just for living a life with autism and nothing else. this is for the same reason as above; implying autism is inherently bad.

Hope these were your questions answered Ms @tay-lin

5. What planet would you most like to visit?

I have heard of this strange planet that build ships that navigate by one’s mind. I believe the name is Zonama Sekot.

6. What planet would you most like to live on?

Nirauan.

14. What is your favorite alien species?

Sentient: Humans. Non-sentient: Ysalamiri

I find your responses most interesting if not even profound. 

Your favorite sentient species being human, despite disgusting xenophobes within the empire and their...behaviors for lack of a better word. You and I must have a similar thought process in that, we judge not a species based on their entirety, but instead on the individuals that have become closest to us or in some cases, communicated with us regularly that we have a mutual understanding. 

For this along you have my greatest respect. Not very many beings can what’s the phrase...”be the bigger man...”

As for the Ysalamiri, it makes sense. Although you obtained the two who I would guess are a mated pair? Over time they became more than just an interest of if they would or could repel force users, but rather personal companions. Almost like family, you can relax and “let your hair down around them”. I’m happy that they bring you such joy. 

A living planet. That would be a fascinating place to live, but I wonder, the data-bases were not exact complete in my inquiry about Zonama Sekot. Does this being make its self a “humanoid” version of its self in order to communicate with those whom visit or inhabit their being? Or does one simply talk to it as if one was, communicating with the sky, and its voice replies back in kind? 

When I saw your answer of a favorite species, a thought came to my mind of how I would answer the question that question, and I place this under addressing what planet you would live on, as I’m not sure what sort of “planets” these “creatures” have  in what is called: Fluidic Space. I tend to call it Fluid Space. (if you submit an inquiry to the data-banks, the term Fluidic Space will render you results of what I speak of)

I have encountered them once or twice in my travels, they were not unkind to me, although I only saw one of them from a distance, approaching what is referred to as their “bio-ships”. living creatures/beings that are ships.

Lastly, your favorite line. Not what I expected. My favorite quotes would happen to be: 

Do you know the difference between an error and a mistake, Ensign?” The entire bridge had gone deathly still. Colclazure swallowed again, his face starting to go pale. “No, sir.” “Anyone can make an error, Ensign. But that error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.”

and

“Learn about art, Captain,” Thrawn said, his voice almost dreamy. “When you understand a species’ art, you understand that species.”

I do apologize for the lengthy reply Grand Admiral. 

Just as a note, if you don’t find a decent place for a figure like this, you risk getting poked in eyes and limbs, as My honey did for most of the year. I dubbed him my protector, but we also dubbed him as “the equal opportunity eye-poker” 

I’m totally loyal and in love with him, and he protects me and sometimes pokes my eye out almost....it’s a good living situation

○ Match Icons: Hidan & Kakuzu ♡

AKATSUKI STICKERS FOR FUCKING SALE RIGHT HERE GO NOW  

This doesn’t just mean alcohol

Don’t accept any open drinks

After you get your unopened drink, you keep it in your site

You have to go to the bathroom so you leave your drink on a table? That drink is now dead to you.

You’ve been holding your drink way low out of your eyesight and people are crowding? That drink is now suspect.

Been thinking about all the friends I have who’ve gone through a lot of shit in their lives, and how they all say the exact same thing when they tell me their life story. I feel I should share the lessons I had to learn before my emotions started to improve. Here are my “Eleven commandments of handling depression”:

1) It is okay to be upset. Your pain is valid. It is real. Do not seek comfort from those who will just tell you to get over yourself. Seek comfort from those who can acknowledge that you are upset.

2) What you feel right now will pass eventually. Be willing to accept that you will not be upset forever. The sun will always rise the next day, even if it feels like the sun isn’t coming, it’s simply not dawn for you yet. The smallest improvement is still an improvement.

3) It is not a race to get better. Do not feel like you have to improve now. Do not rush yourself to try and be happy. Do not force yourself to be happy. You will do nothing but stress yourself worse.

4) Depression lies to you. It will always make the world around you seem worse. It will make you feel hated by your peers. It will make you choose poor decisions in your life.

5) Not everyone will like you. Do not rely on the appraisal of others to be happy. Do not expect a relationship to solve your problems. Learn to love yourself, and those who appreciate you will stay with you.

6) There is no magic solution to your problems. Expecting for the answers to just fall into your lap will only cause you to be more miserable in the long run. Nothing anyone can say will solve them either.

7) The only thing stopping you, is you. Only you can convince yourself to let yourself heal. No one can say or do anything to convince you otherwise. Allow yourself to heal.

8) Do not be afraid to admit you need help. Do not be afraid to seek help. Be it through medication, or be it through a friend who understands. Sometimes the fight is too tough to combat alone. You are not weak for admitting to this.

9) People are unhappier than they appear. The people around you don’t always like to share that they are upset. Most will always put on a smile so you don’t worry about them. Never assume someone is more well off than you.

10) You will fall sometimes. No one is in control of everything in their lives, and sometimes the unknown will strike you down. This happens to everyone, and the only thing you can do is to get back on your feet, with the only way you know how to.