Feel-good Assimilationist Gay Love Stories

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

I was going to say, holy shit her doing all those things in stilettos.

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

t’es woke toi 😦🫵 toi t’es un woke left😔🙄 tu supporte les trans pis les pronoms toi 🤨🏳️‍⚧️ veux-tu savoir mes pronoms? 🥱🔥 mes pronoms? 😳😤 que/bec. fran/çais. bar/be/que. go/habs/go.🍁🏒 bleu pis rose 💙🌹 toi c’est quoi tes pronoms? vas-y. dis moj tes pronoms?🧐😪 joe/bi/den? ru/paul? 🤭😒 j’vas prier pour toi 🫤🙏

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

my 2 sons scunt and grout who I am trying to give up custody of