pray for the wicked

‘ i love this, i love that we’re okay. ’ she leaned, kissing him over and over. ‘ let’s go out. do something fun. ’

he smiled kissing her back with ease “me too,” he grinned holding her. “yeah i’d love to, where do you wanna go?”

she nodded ‘ thank you for getting it. i promise i won’t space on you everytime i’m upset. it all just kinda flooded at once. ’ she admitted. ‘ but i’m here now and i want you now. ’

he smiled back at the cute red head “i know, don’t worry about that week,” he told her with a nod. “i’m just happy you’re here,” he said “and you can have all of me,’ he said. he kissed her “life is dull without you.”

‘ i’m sorry that the sun thing affected me i just always felt safe with her but then i kinda hit earth and realised, she’s not perfect and hasn’t always had my best intentions at heart. it was hard to realise my closest friend didn’t value it equally. ’ she explained. ‘ but i’m over it. i’m going to forgive and forget over time. but it just…took me a hot minute. ’ she confessed.

“no don’t be sorry about that, i would be pissed off too. anyone would, it’s a big deal,” he said to her. “hey, i’m sure she does, she loves you,” he said. “this was just, something fucked up,” he said softly. “don’t rush yourself though okay?” he told her. “get you better first,” he said softly. “its good to take a stand for yourself.”

she felt better knowing he was there for her, she smiled from her serious pouty expression before getting up and mounting his lap, skinny legs straddled his sides and she placed her hands on his shoulders. she was grateful for him, she didn’t think she could love him more but here he was, not punishing her for needing space, not accusing her or telling her to get over anything or saying what she was triggered by was silly. ‘ i love you. ’ she responded. ‘ i love you…i know it’s only been a few months but you make me feel safe. i missed you every night. ’

he smiled when he saw her smile, it was infectious. he grinned pulling her close with ease as she got on top of him. he smirked slightly “i like this position,” he chuckled with ease. he loved her so much, everything about him made him crazy inside. he was just so happy she was okay and they were still together. “i love you too,” he said back instantly. “I love you so much,” he said. “it feels right to say and i missed you too,” he said softly. ‘i want you to always feel safe with me.”

“me neither,” he said. “it would be interesting to read outside of here, to live it? sucks ass,” he said.

x laughed when he made her jump “that would have been funny, i can’t lie,’ he said. “come on, how can i sneak up on people, look at me,” he teased. “thank god, how does it feel now that it’s gone? i bet it was so itchy,” he said scratching his own arm now that he thought about it.

‘ i think the drinking was just me trying to have fun and  going a bit hard…obviously it led me to binge on food afterwards which made me feel like shit and why i backed off. ’ the cherry haired girl explained. ‘ the meeting was okay…i’ll need a lot more to begin any recovery. ’ she explained. ‘ but right now, i’m just trying to get everything in order. i felt powerless, you know? like i couldn’t control any part of my life, my friend didn’t trust me, i couldn’t eat right, i was pushing you away. i just needed a little time to grasp my thoughts…but i’m really sorry that led to you being pushed out for a week. ’ she explained. ‘ i really don’t want you to leave me over this. if you’ll have me. i want to be with you. ’

“oh okay,” he said understanding more “that makes sense, i just worried about you,” he said to her. he didn’t want her to feel worried with him at all, and he liked that she was opening up to him. he had missed her a lot this past week and clearly she needed that time away. he held her closer now, feeling possessive. he nodded “i’ll help you with that, drive you there, make sure you go,” he said softly. he knew there was nothing he could do because this was her battle, but he could be there for her, make sure she sticks to getting better. “hey no, don’t be sorry alright? you been through a lot and i mean yeah i was worried about us, i didn’t know. i do now though and i hope you’ll let me help you..” he said stroking her cheek. “i would never leave you, ever ever,” he promised giving her a stern look. “that makes me really happy to hear.”

“Do you ever wonder what people outside of Riverdale think about what’s going on here?” Harrison mused. “Like, people who have never been here, don’t know the town or the people. I wonder what this all looks like to them.”

“yeah, sometimes,” he said. ‘there is a whole world out there, and they’ll read the tabloids and think, thank god that’s not my town.”

‘ so basically, i really struggled to…handle knowing my best friend lied to me. it’s been years….she’s had ample opportunity to speak to me about this and she chose not to. ’ she said, moving and sittting down beside him, placing skinny legs over his lap. the truth was, rosie didn’t have any romantic feelings left for sun. she loved xavier, even if they hadn’t said it yet. she wasn’t interested in starting anything with sun but she was truly hurt. ‘ and like…i’ve been struggling with eating…i’m sure you’ve probably noticed…i fixate. ’ she slowly spoke. ‘ so i went back to an eating disorder support meeting, something i used to go to…because i was hospitalised for it when i was younger. so i was embarrassed and overwhelmed. ’  

at first, xavier wasn’t surprised to hear about how much sun had pained her. that’s what he expected to hear. he understood how hard that could be, thinking you could trust someone and then it being ripped away. he pushed closer to her, wanting to be near her more. his hand going on her leg as she moved them on him. “i’m sorry about sun..” he whispered. “i should have done something i mean, i know it’s on sun to speak to you about it but i hate how much this has really hurt you..” he said softly. what xavier was surprised about was to hear about the disorder. he knew she had food issues but he didn’t realize it went to that extremes. “oh rosie..” he whispered. “i did notice.. was the drinking a part of it as well?” he asked now. “i had no idea that it was that bad,” he frowned worried now. “did the meeting help you?” he asked her. “how do you feel about that now. i just want you to know your body is beautiful,” he said softly. “you never have to feel embarrassed with me, i promise. i’ll never judge you for anything that you do, or have done.”

the red head rose and nodded, knowing that she was going to have to confess everything to him. she moved closer. ‘ i’m really sorry. ’ she assured him, not wanting him to leave her because she needed a little bit of time to consider all of the fuzzy panic buttons in her head. she just needed space but she had to do better about that. she couldn’t just run away when things got hard. she didn’t feel like she could talk to xavier because he was a ghoulie and right now, she was mad at ghoulies for owning everyone she loved. ‘ let’s talk. i want to, i’m here and i’m sorry for being spacey. ’ she quickly insisted.

x moved closer, he could tell she was worried and that she was sorry. he wasn’t mad at her, he was just confused. he felt like there were still feelings for rosie there, that she needed to deal with and he didn’t want to lose his girl. he loved her so much. he moved closer and took her hand “okay, let’s talk,” he said sitting down with her. “why don’t you start with how you’re feeling,” he said. “what you’ve been thinking about this past week yeah?” he asked. he wasn’t going to push to tougher questions he was worried about because he needed to hear where she was first. he loved her, her beautiful self. those big eyes, her red hair, her bouncy personality with her independence in it.

STRUGGLING with trusting people, rosie had spent the week in various therapy sessions, which was a self help kind of move for her when she was struggling. finding out her closest friend and at one point lover had lied so much to her, caused her a lot of anguish over her own ability to be there for her friends and their dynamic and truthfully, she had kind of abandoned xavier for the week. she adored him…she’d go as far to say she loved him. but sometimes the loss of a friend was just as hard as the loss of a lover, she was grieving. she sat in her studio, playing morose chords in a black, dramatic dress when she heard the door knock, she glanced back seeing xavier. ‘ x. ’ she smiled. ‘ sorry…you’re mad…. ’ @tattccedghoul

x hadn’t seen rosie in a week, he had texted her, called her, messaged her on other platforms but it was like they were drifting. he knew she was going through a hard time. after finding out about rosie, it killed her. then the ball, her getting really drunk because of it. even if she never admitted it, he knew it was there. he was worried about their relationship now. it had gotten to the end of the week and they hadn’t seen each other. normally they were inseparable. he needed to see her now, he was growing paranoid. what if her being upset meant she had romantic feelings for sun still? what did that mean for him? x got to her place, knocking and peeking his head in seeing her. “i’m not mad-- just, confused.” he walked in over to her. “i guess we should talk?”

she drunkly folded into him and gripped onto his shirt. ‘ we should leave. ’

he held onto her “yeah we have to,” he said. she was so drunk, he knew they couldn’t stay. he kept her close, walking through the crowd, looking over some heads “everyone’s going mad.”

‘ i mean, it’s not a day spa…it’s a gang. you don’t join to be social.. ’

“no i know,” he said “it’s a choice,” he told her. “i mean--” he said as the announcement went off and people scattered. he looked around “rosie,” he looked at her worried..

‘ so —  ‘ she hiccuped. ‘ why’d you become a ghoulie? why is everyone a ghoulie? ’

he looked at her, he knew she was still really upset and he felt bad. “being a ghoulie is something i got into when i was young, most people there have,” he said. “you get into the crowd, you meet people, and you join up because you want to be a part of it,” he said. 

he kissed her back and grinned “then let’s fucking party,” he drank some more and handed it back over.