is it 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑯 𝑰𝑻 ?

                       ‘  don’t  know  why  this  would  be  rude  but  it  is  sudden,  indeed    ..    where  did  that  even  come  from    ?    ’  

             “ aaa~ !! ” magilou yelled, tilting her head before letting out a string of snickers as she gazed over to the female. “ did you mean figuratively, or literally ?? ‘cuz, i can do both but i wouldn’t say i enjoy either. ”

            snow’s eyed didn’t waver from ezra’s, but instead she held his gaze — who was gonna break first? not that she wanted him to break away, but ezra holding his ground made her heart soften, and for a moment her features did as well — until one hand reached behind him to slide open the van door — she nodded to it. “you should be.” a repeat of her previous statement before she pushed him onto his back on the open floor of the back of the van, climbing in and on top of him. with the jolt of her landing the van door slid shut behind her and her hand attached to his throat, lips crashing onto his with so much fervor that it almost hurt.

      you could poke at the air with a fucking spoon and it would probably explode. snow couldn’t put a finger on the way he was acting — scared? nervous? did he have a reason to be? maybe. her eyes scanned his features, a slow breath coming out of her nose. she was trying to keep calm but it was hard for her — it was always hard for her. especially when it came to looking the only man you’ve ever truly loved after your father in the face even though breaking each finger individually would’ve probably been less painful. snow ignored the compliments, ignored the jabs too — she focused on those last two words.

         almost as if on cue snow scoffed, eyes rolling. “right, right.” she stood upright from the van. “i would be too.” and again, without missing a beat, snow stepped closer. hands lifted, grabbing a hold of the collar of his shirt. tight at first, eyes locking on his in a challenging manner — only for her grip to loosen and her to straighten his collar. “you know i can’t stand when your collar’s uneven.” there was a single moment of silence, delicate brown eyes falling to ezra’s lips, lingering there. she knew what she was doing. her tone was hushed as she finished the moment with — “you’re still a mess without me.”

           snow did her job and she did it well. every operation ran easy when snow was on it — tonight was no different. well. almost. ezra’s voice bounced off the walls like a haunt and it left snow red, palms slightly cut in pin size areas from where her nails pushed in so deep the skin couldn’t handle it anymore. the amount of times she pondered pulling out her fun and aiming it at his head— she was better than that not really. the only reason her feet carried her to the back of this run down brick building was so that she could show her face and see, just see, if he even reacted like he cared anymore. hi.

          “hi?” one eyebrow raised. maybe i should relax. ezra had no idea who she was anymore — at all. maybe i should just punch you in your coked up— chill. she constantly had to talk to herself. constantly had to keep herself anchored because he wasn’t there to do it anymore. “cat got your tongue or you just too famous to remember who gurgled your balls for years?” she stepped forward, heels clicking on the cement, thud sounding as she let her back fall against the side of the van, arms crossed over her chest. her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, fly-away strands gently fluttering around her supple cheeks. she was clad in what kira called teen concert attire — black calvin klein pumps, a tank top and ripped jeans with some e-girl flair dangling from the belt loops — chains. she felt like a child. “well?”

               she  was  cold.  he  expected  it.  ezra  coughs,  eyes  dropping  down  so  he’s  staring  at  his  own  feet.  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  respond,  in  all  honesty.  part  of  him  wants  to  hug  her.  kiss  her  even.  another  part  wants  to  run  far  far  away.  he  knows  she  isn’t  the  kindest.  he  experienced  that  when  they  were  together.  but  she  was  always  gentle  with  him.  or  at  least  she  tried  to  be,  and  he  appreciated  it.  brows  furrow  and  he  shakes  his  head.  “  i’m  not  famous.  if  you  call  sleeping  in  a  van  for  nights  on  end,  playing  shows  for  people  who  couldn’t  give  a fuck  famous  then  your  sense  of  reality  is  a bit  warped,  sunshine.  “  he  sighs,  closing  his  eyes.  “  of  course  i  remember  you.  i  just  wasn’t  expecting  to  see  you.  that’s  all.  “ 

                “  it’s  four  am  and  you’re  keeping  me  from  closing  these  sleepy  eyes.  “  he  mumbles  in  a  sing  song  whisper.  it  was  actually  closer  to  two  am  and  ezra  was  outside  some  random  music  venue  in  downtown  portland.  he  was  packing  up  a  black  van  with  musical  equipment.  his  bandmates  ?  off  getting  plastered  somewhere.  not  ezra,  though.  after  struggling  with  addiction  for  far  too  long,  he  was  finally  clean.  okay,  a  week  clean  but  still  !!!  it’s  something.  dainty  footsteps  are  heard  around  the  side  of  the  van  and  a  brow  quirks.  he  steps  around.  “  hello  ?  “  now,  his  band  had  a  few  local  fans.  people  he  likes  to  hang  out  with  after  shows  and  talk  about  the  music.  he  was  excepting  one  of  them.  he  wasn’t  expecting  --  HER.

                                                memories.