Hahaha...Bitch!

I’m getting caught up on tpp and god i love these two 

About three things you must be sure before you read this story:

I am a grower, not a show-er.  There is nothing terribly remarkable about my non-aroused junk.

I literally don’t care who sees me naked in the locker room.  It took me a long time to be comfortable with my body, and I’m not in a locker room to flaunt it.  I’m there to undress, shower, and dress.

My mood this morning is best summed up in these two gifs:

*** SO.

I’m in the locker room.  I come out of the shower and go to my locker, and there are three guys at their lockers in the same area, all talking to each other.  I pay them no mind because I don’t give a shit.  I open my locker.  I grab my underwear.  I drop my towel.

One of the guys thought he was gonna try and be cocky and said, “You fuck chicks with that dick?”

…

My inner monologue at that exact second can best be summed up with this gif:

I turned around, completely naked, my apparently insufficient chick-fucking dick just hanging out for the world to see, looked the dude straight in the eye and said, “No, but I can take a dick like a champ.  You tryna fuck?”

I have never seen a person so instantly regret a choice in my entire life.  He started sputtering like a bottle of shampoo that was nearly empty and then just gave up and ran off while his friends just howled.

I calmly turned around and went about my life, minding my own goddamn business like a civilized adult.

Moral of the story is,

Him: (muffled talking ) 

Me:

Him: Eat this hairy boy pussy daddy

Me:

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