Whoever put a bucket of ice water above my door is asking for war

Oh my god..that's horrible.

You’d be surprised!

Well, they're all nutcases.

Whenever fans ask me to take photos with them, I always pull the most awkward faces.

Same.

I love cuddles.

Who doesn't?

It’s just my face. 

Oh. I like your face.

You don’t have to.

Whatever you say, then.

I kinda am.

I don't believe it.

How are you feeling?

Not terrible. Still a little groggy, even after the coffee. A good night's sleep will do the trick.

I’m working on that, but it’s kinda hard.

I'm sure you're not all bad.

I’m not a nice person.

You're not? I wouldn't know that considering I'm new and the first time I met you we were both drunk as fuck.

You sound like you feel just like I do right now.

I started to feel better after about a liter of water, a dose of Tylenol, and two cups of coffee. I also had to pee really bad after that.

I’m not exactly the guy people like. I’m more like the person they fear.

Why's that?

Someone said I’m sweet. How cute.

Are you not? You tasted pretty sweet when you kissed me last night.

I wouldn’t know, since I don’t eat fruit loops, asshole. Anything else? No? Alright bye.  

All right, psycho, thanks for wasting my time!

This coming from the girl who’s trying to mean mug and looks constipated. Spare me. 

Who pissed in your fruit loops, bitch?