pouring🌻

I hate this, I want to scream.

I don’t deserve this, I want to scream.

You make me feel so bad about myself, I want to scream.

they mean the world to me and even though you don’t mean it, might not even see it, as such they are the purest gift to me / my love   the flower of trust.

You‘re the moon,

the stars,

the sun

you’re the light in the sky

all day and night.

your the warmth of summer,

the wisdom of fall,

the peace of winter

and the stubbornness of spring

with that it brings new life

where there is nothing.

you’re the ocean,

scary and oh so deep

powerful and wild

You’re the forest and the mountains,

you’re how the wind blows through the trees.

you’re the sound of peace.

you’re the smell of fresh grass,

of candles burning in a dark room,

of mint tea,

of warmth, and love.

you’re everything.

and everywhere,

always.

You‘re

realizing how physical sadness can get

how it wraps around your heart

your stomach

your lungs

and your throat

and you just feel like

you’re going to implode

and you beg it to stop

when you would lay awake late in your tiny student room and talk through the whole night

not feeling a mundane thing like tiredness

just hanging on each other’s lips

you watch the sun go up and hear the birds start singing

And you just feel

that one kiss

she‘ll never forget

longing / hungry / loving / familiar

just like any other

only - she knew it would be the last one

desperate / painful

echoing in her heart

setting her insides on fire

tearing her apart

lips trembling / salty

their tears coming together

where it matters the most

an ocean of sadness

inside of her