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ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔢𝔫𝔞 𝔗𝔞𝔯𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔶𝔢𝔫 – a writing exercise in raising chickens and knowing things. / blog by ro. show & headcanon centric.

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"i'm afraid" "... of the rats"
" he need not wish it , for the god's will make his bed and he shall lay in it . " the half - orphaned heir , maelor , prince regent's ward . the name of the unborn babe roars in his mind and stirs a tempest of dragon fire in his soul . verily , aemond the kinslayer had set his mind to it , and thus their fates were sealed .
he caught her fingers again and held them where they fell against his cheek . " close your eyes , helaena . " he ordered softly , giving her hand a gentle squeeze . " what do you see ? "
The Gods' Will – passed down and passed down again. Maelor's warp of fate snaps with a few breaths from his uncle, and the sound rings in Helaena's right ear, a tinny buzz slicing its way through. The hand she still holds at her stomach wavers, and finds the thread her finger had caught before, pulled from its place in her gowns. She twists it, snaking it out further, wrapping it around her forefinger so tightly that it threatens laceration. She does not wish to close her eyes, though it is as he says: she need not wish.
Behind the darkness of her eyes she finds no relief. Images pass in rapid succession, that which she recalls from her dreams, and which now tear themselves to pieces ... "Flame..." she mumbles, swallowing her word. Aegon's disfigured face appears like a warning: It is not his time. "I don't – know." The thread around her finger loses its tension with a quick flick, breaking at its base. "Many things."
the room lapsed back into silence as he sought to understand her meaning . it was a question of outcomes that had been posed , and in its inference aemond concluded she meant to suggest an outcome that did not involve the mad king . the crown rested easily upon his head , but if he was honest he fashioned himself a lethal sword master , protector of the realm , more inclined to be on a battlefield than stuck on a throne of iron in the keep .
and as he pondered the kings death that brought forth the matter of aegon’s living son , maelor
again , aemond closed the gap between them . he took a hand of helaena’s in his , handling her delicately , the free hand rising to smooth the crescent he had left on her chin . “ join me helaena . i as prince regent and you as dowager queen . i will not wed you , but we will raise maelor up together in aegons stead . ” he saw it clearly now , this hope she had indicated . “ we will make him a fearsome king . ”
"Oh," the word's an involuntary whimper exhaled through shut teeth. Her unkept hand moves instinctively to the base of her abdomen, though the pressure against her unborn babe proves little comfort. Fearsome. A spike through the womb and neck, the iron twisting itself under the breath of a beast – a draconic ire, burying white hair beneath a crumbling keep, the whites of their eyes coming to a boil. She shuts the sudden onslaught out with a sharp turn of her head, creating a distance between herself and his hand. A hum in the guttural base of her throat rings out before she speaks (an emphasized, mirrored mannerism from her dear brother). "Unspool the thread already weft ... reed already beaten ..." Her eyes dart around the room, the nervousness of a trapped doe, then to every corner of her brother's face. Blood pools beneath the patch that covers his forsaken eye, blood red as black as it streaks down his cheek, a vein beneath skin hit at its root, leaking. She slips her her hand from his and moves it to wipe the blood away, but it vanishes before her. "What if he wishes not to be fearsome? Or ... king?"

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one thing about me is i'm going to write any given woman as a lesbian but in this particular instance i'm inclined towards hel as distinctly disconnected from sexuality as anything other than utility and duty; romance might not completely evade her but i don't think she feels it strongly if at all
her brother stood and quickly covered the small space between them . he reached down and took her chin to lift her gaze between his forefinger and thumb . “ i have a mind to strike you for your insolence . ” he murmured , his voice steady and unsympathetic . he pressed his nail into her chin to turn her cheek and pushed her away .
the scathing prince stalked quietly across the room . “ i did not claim lucerys , worse than a bastard he was a coward , and there is no room for bastards or cowards to sit upon our throne . ” a lion who hunts begins by picking off the weak . “ but aegon … ” his sharp gaze turned back upon her . “ do you believe i would usurp my brothers throne? ”
With some measured effort, she remains unflinching at the touch, though the brief prick against her chin catches her by surprise, and a wince shudders its way through. Her eyes flutter shut, (doomed images of dragonfire melting flesh to bone, bone to ash, ash to soil, soil to trees, trees to homes, homes to birds, birds to freedom) and she follows the directionality of Princely aggression, her back to him, gently shuffling towards the edge of a nearby table so that she might lean some of her weight against it. "No..." She gleans this is to be her answer, but it sits uneasily on her tongue. "But it is not unnatural, to – have some hope, even for, ... other worlds. Other outcomes." Her eyes open, though she still maintains her position, her face barred from view. "Did it cross your mind? The outcomes... the Rest. The End."
the girl has misophonia for sure. phonophobia too... stop making loud noises
The Ossuary | Kostnice | 1970 | dir. Jan Švankmajer

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prince aemonds wroth struck like the bite of an adder , swift as it was venomous . “ our brother was felled by his own haste and pride . ” he retorted fiercely , the blade of his tongue cutting between them with a scarcely contained rage . “ sunfyre on her own was no match for meleys . he would have been wise to yield the lead to me . ” it is true that aegon was an unpracticed rider , oft shirking his kingly responsibilities in favor of indulging in the enticements of the silk streets . “ you are a woman , with a woman’s heart and a woman’s mind . you insult myself and your husband to make presumptions about the battles between dragons and men . ”
Each word falls against Helaena's ears like rocks against glass panes; a shattering forthcoming, the silhouette of a window (battered by words, stones, and inclement weather) – her shoulders raise and tighten, her hand flexing by her side, her eyes shutting to the sound of her brother's voice. "I mean not. I cannot make presumptions." A woman's mind, fractured – the cracks between filled by pale dreams and a fog of certain futures. Things to come. In their own time. "But I ... made no trade for a ruby." Nor a dragon. Her gaze moves back upwards, to meet his, at least for a fleeting glance. "The King's thread ... rejects felling. It is not time." She speaks these words as though they're meant to serve a comfort. They do not, for her, but perhaps ... He lays alive, at least. In turn, the Queen speaks beneath her own tongue, a whisper amidst them. "It is not time."
" mm ... yes . an earwig . a lion . a rat . a mongrel . many such cases of this . " he would not himself speak aloud what he knew , which was that his queen , helaena targaryen , his own blood , fancied him a kinslayer . " perhaps it is in the beasts nature . " he would muse , pressing his cold gaze upon hers . " insect , mammal . ( ... ) at times even man . "
"At times." She cannot keep her eyes met towards his; instead, her chin dips, and she sets her eyes upon a far corner of the room. The scent of singed flesh draws tears at her waterline, which she blinks away – "Survival is ... among the commonalities of earwigs and lions and rats." But not dragons. What does a dragon need to survive? A dragon must be survived. A spark crossing the back of her eyelids, a bright orange flame against the night sky – a face malformed. A king undone. That green fabric she flicks upon snags at her nail, and a single thread unwinds itself, catching against her finger. She pulls. "And man." So gentle a pause, she breathes, before adding with a breathy cadence, "Some men."
An idle hand anxiously flicks rhythms against green fabric (a rich hue upon thick, somewhat sweltering, material). "A child's price to pay..." she says, a daze lingering on her tongue. Flashes of red so dark it turns black against white sheets. Begetting and begetting... a child's price to pay for the father's sins. The mother's. Left unspoken: ... for an eye's vendetta. The thought crosses her mind that she'd always preferred blue. An open sky or an endless ocean. The corner of her mouth twitches with an unnerved fervor. "An earwig might eat its own young were it to find itself under such duress. Its own kin." | @kinslaeyr
the flying of 𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪𝔣𝔶𝔯𝔢 – "When I was a girl, I wanted to fly."
The interweaving of man & dragon is an ill-fated union, and breeds consequence of high order. Forces beyond the Gods might have bonded the Targ & wyrm; Hel is acutely aware of this, and as a result, perhaps ironically given her seeing nature, she rejects her own mythology. She sees the inevitability of her house's narrative & fate, even if it comes in shards and misshapen pieces. From a babe, she's battling against an intimate understanding that most things are preordained, and as a result, out of her own control. Two threads of autonomy as a privilege unbeknownst to her: a thread following every vision, every dream, every cryptic sight, which promises another outcome she'll play no hand in – another, a thread wound tightly around the wrist and neck of every Targ, cursed to blur the line between animal and man, facing the consequences of a hubristic genealogy as they are enveloped by their dragon in heart, soul, or even fire.
To stop riding Dream/fyre is a choice made out of two particular reasons, though not limited to these:
individualistic force: To call it an act of rebellion would be a mischaracterization, but perhaps those are the best words to use – it is a somewhat futile rejection of the Targ myth, and of the loss of autonomy from at least one angle (the continuation of her and Dream becoming further and further each other). To cut it off, and even minimally regain herself, is at least one small victory. Though it may pain her.
kindness, empathetic withholding: Knowing is suffocation, a dream is a prophetic prison even in its disjointedness and oddities. It's overwhelming and horrifying. As Hel & Dream became entwined, more and more from her youth onwards, one feels what the other does. To bring pain to another living creature feels an act Hel is, herself, quite incapable of. Unwilling.
HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 3.05 / 1.09 / 3.08

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