Taomeowa

“One day the sadness will end.

But I don’t think today’s the day.”

AQUARIUS ☀️

AQUARIUS 🌙

in 2020, the constitutional tribunal of poland (similar to the supreme court) ruled that abortion in the case of fetal abnormalities is unconstitutional, effectively banning 98% of legal abortions in our country. poland already had the strictest laws in europe (save for malta), where abortion was only allowed in the case of rape/incest, fetal abnormalities or risk to mother’s life. this caused probably the biggest protests since 1989. even tiny, conservative towns marched in defense of abortion rights. at one point there was an estimated one hundred thousand people in warsaw protesting. police was beating people up on the streets, they broke a teenage girls’ hand. fascist nationalists used tear gas on people. this lasted for WEEKS.

back then it felt like maybe we are finally witnessing some change we hoped for for years, but it all fell apart. the leaders of this protest were generic liberals who were allied with the neoliberal center-right opposition and were riding off the wave of anti-government sentiments. soon it was became less about reproductive health and more about how we need to put the opposition back in power. mind you, the opposition and its supporters were largely for keeping this bogus “compromise” and went as far as silence anyone who wanted full liberalization as “too radical”. anything stronger than peaceful marches was discouraged as well - even the very famous chant “wypierdalać” (”fuck off”) was often considered too far.

soon these protests were completely changed into anti-government protests and while it was good to hate the ruling party, but it was conveniently used as a tool of the neoliberal center-right opposition. several months later they put that ban into place. the wave was already dying. there were some protests but all people did was yell in the streets for a bit and go home, because it was ~wrong~ to destroy property and say naughty words. soon a 30 year old woman died because she was denied abortion. doctors would not risk aborting her deformed fetus even if it was risking her life, even if it was technically legal - they were scared of going to jail on the basis of aborting a fetus with abnormalities. there were very little protests after that, even though we should have burned down the entire country for her. death of savita halappanavar, a very similar case, eventually caused the change of abortion law in ireland. in poland nothing happened after izabela died. on the anniversary of the protests, barely anyone attended. just yesterday a project of putting a 12 week abortion law in place was rejected.

and than i decided, i wanted to die

i didn’t do it.

but here, i’m still crying in my bed, knowing my exams are tomorrow and my city is dead

and i don’t know if things will get any better

i don’t know if we’ve already hit rock bottom or is there even more waiting for us.

i don’t want to keep fighting. i want to curl up and let them kill me.

but if we don’t fight for ourselves, no one will.

one thing i’ve learnt from this year, is that no one is truly helping us. no one can topple the throne of china. the only people helping us is us.

The Birth of Liquid Fears, 1932, Salvador Dali