Help I'm dead

Days ago with a drabble, I got the chance to dive into Cassifer/Sam and that touch of abuse, which is a theme I've wanted to tackle in fanfics, delve into it more seriously, in more words than just a drabble.

I enjoy exploring that dynamic because, in my opinion, it was poorly addressed in the series. And far from the ship dynamic, I hate see them as a couple. The dynamic of abuse, of captor/victim, is intriguing, implicit in many moments of the series, but it's always disappointing that it wasn't given the seriousness it deserved.

Besides I love Sastiel, the theme with Cassifer and The relationship wirh Cas post-possesione seems so full of potential for anguish. Are you telling me that Sam didn't have any issues, nightmares, or fear that his tormentor was living with him in the only place he felt safe? And that his own brother and God were okay with that?

I rewatched a little from "The Vessel" and just look at Sam's face. And the way Lucifer winks at him and touches him? Boy

There are things like abuse and sexual harassment that Lucifer implies in many dialogues, but that's another topic.

If I could say that I hate any ship, Samifer is one of them. I could consider it a NOTP. However, it's not that serious to me to demand that those who like it block me from that content, and not to take edits, drawings, or shipping so seriously. Fiction at the end of the day

Sam has been irrevocably changed since his coming back from hell (and jumping in of course). So often I find myself looking at later season's Sam, a Sam who's not a firey rebel against what the world wants of him, a Sam who would fight for himself. This is a quietly submissive Sam who can't stand to disappoint Rock No.1. Someone who takes on pain again and again and again because he's so used to it.

Sam from the first seasons it's not the same Sam as the later. This is a broken, traumatized man who excels at being high functioning and I am SO sure of it.

He LOOKS resigned and tired a lot of the time. And it reminds me of hell!Sam begging himself not to remember. hell!Sam knew what he was talking about and what we're seeing in later seasons is his reflection.

And let me throw in a Silmarillion reference because why the heck not. Like the souls of elves go to Mando's halls, Sam's soul needed to go to heaven and heal from all the years of hell he suffered (earthly ones and hell ones). He was not ready to be reembodied in earth and now he's come wrong.

Gaza's women are just like any other women: they are wives, lovers, partners and feminine beings with desires, interests, drives and needs. The mocking of their lingerie by dozens of IDF soldiers isn't just a depraved and childish act; it's indicative of a dehumanization trend in which Palestinian women are viewed as entirely alien and otherized - that the presence of lingerie in their bedroom drawers is so shockingly surprising & unexpected, it is worth playing with and showing off as battlefield souvenir. I remember vividly how widespread lingerie stores were throughout Gaza City and how they were such a casual thing. In fact, I remember numerous instances of seemingly religious men with beards and the Quran playing in the background having or operating underwear and lingerie stores and stands, with their wives or female salesladies even helping them with customers.

And while this is amazing, there are still many Palestinians who are experiencing the same conditions as her.

So please to those who can donate, fatfabfeminist on twt provided a link to a document containing a list of people and families who need help raising money as well as links to their gofundme’s!

Heres the link to her post

Link to their twt page

And link to the document

as far as we know, ian was the only one who was physically abused by frank throughout his childhood. frank hated ian the most because he “looked the most like his mother” (and the most like frank’s brother, clayton, ian’s actual dad clayton, but nobody actually ever says that) and ian thinking that he looks/acts like monica seriously effects him later on. frank treats him like absolute dog shit, and we hear ian say that when he was six frank locked him in the basement for days. one of the biggest things about shameless is the “cycle of abuse” and frank’s treatment of ian is ironic because from what we know, frank was the only one his parents ever abused (physically, at least).

and for monica, ian was his favorite. i don’t give a shit if fiona says that lip is her favorite, from monica’s first episode’s it’s been apparent that it’s ian. for example- not giving a shit about any of her children’s accomplishments until it comes to ian, and her eyes light up, or making lasagna “ian’s favorite” (it’s not). but being monica’s favorite isn’t actually a good thing. monica seriously abused ian, too, and people don’t always awknolege that. their relationship was built on manipulation, monica’s victim complex, and neglect. she did nothing but use and hurt him, and whether or not she really loved him doesn’t really matter because either way it just hurt him. and the saddest thing is no matter how far away he pushes her, he’s still attached and he still loves her. we don’t know what she truly put him through as a child, but we can assume that it was hell. from ian’s whole speech to her in 7x09 we can tell that he definitely needed her, but she was never there. this is also apparent in fiona’s monologue in 7x12.

also, in season 11 when debbie tells frank, “you ruined love for me!” that definitely also applies to what ian was saying in season 10 about having frank and monica as role models for love. they damaged him so fucking badly and even though he did get a happy ending, he got totally screwed over.

Season 9 Episode 11 Rant.

Then comes Ned literally the next season where Ian is only 15/16. Again when people find out about it, they seem indifferent to it. Jimmy/steve finds out his dad has been having sex with an underage boy who he's basically been helping take care of for a year and he's more concerned with the fact his dad is gay rather than a pedo. The whole thing is weird af and the show legit never mentions how this isn't normal.

And then the fucking club, I very rarely see people talk about the club but it annoys the shit out of me. Ian is working at a gay bar, serving alcohol (illegal) pole dancing (illegal) giving lap dances (illegal) and "working the back as much as the front) aka, prostitution (ILLEGAL) He films porn and all of the guys he's doing this with are adults, old adults too. When I first watched it i figured Ian must have turned 18 when he was away at the start of season 4 but no, in episode 12 'Lazarus' mickey says something along the lines of "you mean horny? What 17 year old gay kid isn't horny?" Again stating that ian is underage through all of this.

They are all really good storylines but they could have benefited from at least 1 person pointing out how wrong they were. Maybe Steve freaking out more on the fact Ian wasn't 18 and not that his dad was gay, maybe Lip making a bigger deal about Kash or Linda actually doing something, maybe mickey telling Ian how fucked up his job at the club is. Ian doesn't have to see how shitty these things are, but it would be useful if everyone just stopped acting as if it was normal.

Here’s my point cause I’m getting long winded:

Y’all excuse every one of mickeys actions on growing up with a homophobic abusive family, and internalizing that hatred : therefore y’all think it’s fine how he treated Ian seasons 1-3 (which is ACTUAL abusive behavior since y’all want to throw that word around) because of his upbringing

Now when it comes to IAN, y’all don’t want to hear any excuses. Let’s review: Ian’s only experience of bipolar disorder is his abusive pos mom, who’s hurt him and his family beyond belief. Now when he’s at his most unstable, she’s preyed on that and convinced him Mickey can’t love him. He loves Mickey, and in his twisted viewpoint rn- he thinks that by breaking up with Mickey he’s setting him free! Let me repeat: HIS MOM, INFLUENCED HIM. TO THINK THAT HE CANT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. DOES THAT SOUND FUCKING FAMILIAR??? I’m not saying Monica and terry are on the same level, but you get what I mean??? They both influenced their children wrongly. So when y’all only make excuses for Mickey and treat Ian like the devil incarnate, iTS REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING not to mention borderline ableist, y’all really be doing the most goddamn

And finally to be clear, I am not anti Mickey or anti gallavich, i am anti Ian antis who wanna ignore his struggle. I love both characters a lot, y’all just have favoritism to the point where you ignore facts to try and pit them against each other