Let's Talk Psychological Wellness

You can’t focus, and you have already decided what that means about you

It usually starts in a very ordinary way.

You reread the same email three times and still miss the part that mattered. You sit through a meeting, nodding at the right moments, and absorb almost none of it. You walk into a room for something important and immediately forget why you are there.

By that point, most adults are not thinking, maybe I need clarity.

They are thinking, what is wrong with me?

And underneath that question is a quieter one they have been answering, badly, for years. Lazy. Scattered. Careless. Bad at adulting.

Pick your favorite. Most people already have.

So when ADHD shows up as a possible explanation, it can feel like relief. Finally, a reason that is not just I’m broken.

And it might be the reason. But here is the part the thirty-second videos leave out: the symptoms you are noticing do not belong to ADHD alone. They show up in a lot of places. And telling those places apart is the entire point.

Why focus is so easy to misread

Attention is not something your brain does in a vacuum. It runs on sleep. On a nervous system that is not braced for impact. On a brain that has a little energy left over after the day’s worrying is done.

Take any of those away, and focus falls apart. Not because something is wired wrong. Because the conditions focus needs are simply gone.

This is where I find it helpful to talk about a smoke detector.

Think about what a smoke detector does when the toast burns. It shrieks. It does not care that there is no fire. Its whole job is to sound the alarm.

Anxiety is a smoke detector. So is chronic stress. So is the slow erosion of months of bad sleep. When that alarm is going off quietly in the background all day, your brain is not free to focus. It is busy scanning for the fire. There is simply less of you left for the email, the meeting, the paragraph you keep rereading.

That is not a brain that is wired differently. That is a brain that is overloaded.

ADHD is a different story. A genuine difference in how the brain manages attention and follow-through, present long before this stressful season, showing up everywhere, not just when life gets hard.

The trouble is that from the outside, and often from the inside, these two can look almost exactly the same.

What can look like ADHD, and isn’t always

The same difficulty concentrating, the same restlessness, the same sense that your mind will not cooperate, can come from more than one place.

From anxiety, humming in the background and pulling your attention without asking. From chronic stress, a nervous system that has been running hot so long it has forgotten how to idle. From sleep you are not actually getting. From trauma, which interrupts attention in ways that get mistaken for an attention disorder all the time. From a low mood that drains motivation before the day even begins.

None of that means your struggle is not real. It is completely real. It means the struggle is a signal. And a signal is worth reading properly before you decide what it says.

Because the stakes are not abstract. A person whose real issue is anxiety can spend years chasing the wrong fix. A person whose focus problems come from exhaustion can end up medicated for a condition they may not have, while the actual culprit goes untouched.

A symptom is not a diagnosis. It is the start of a question.

So how do you actually tell?

Honestly? Sometimes it is clear, and sometimes it is not. That is not a dodge. That is the actual clinical reality. Anyone promising you certainty from a five-minute online quiz is selling something, and it is not clarity.

What good testing does is untangle. It looks at how your brain takes information in, holds onto it, and uses it. It asks whether this is the attentional pattern of ADHD, or a system overloaded by anxiety, stress, and sleep. Or, very often, some combination of the above.

Before you ever walk into an office, a few honest questions are worth sitting with. Have these struggles been with you as far back as you can remember, or did they arrive with a particularly hard chapter? Do they follow you everywhere, or mostly show up when the pressure is on? How is your sleep, really? When you sit down to focus, is your body calm, or already half-braced for something?

You do not have to answer perfectly. This is not a quiz that spits out a verdict. It is just a way of noticing that I can’t focus is where the story begins, not where it ends.

What to do instead of guessing

If you have spent years quietly assuming the worst about yourself, the most useful next step is not a better planner. You have enough planners.

It is clarity.

A proper evaluation does not hand you a label to wear like a name tag. It gives you a map. Where things are actually getting stuck. Why. And what kind of support would genuinely help.

Sometimes that map says ADHD, clearly. Sometimes it says the smoke detector has been going off for years and no one ever taught you how to turn it off.

Either way, you finally get to stop interrogating yourself with the same exhausting question, and start asking a far kinder one. Not what is wrong with me. But what is actually going on, and what helps?

Comprehensive psychological and ADHD evaluations in New York

At Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness in New York, evaluations are done by licensed clinical psychologists who understand that attention, mood, sleep, and stress are not separate machines running in separate rooms. The goal is never to hand you the fastest available label. It is to understand what is actually driving the way you feel.

What to expect from our ADHD assessment process

We begin with a complimentary 20-minute screening call to answer your questions, walk through the process, and discuss payment options so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

From there, your evaluation includes an intake appointment with Dr. Davis (50 minutes) to review your history and determine the right testing battery; in-person testing (4–6 hours) covering full cognitive and executive functioning; and, with your consent, collateral input from a partner or family member to give a fuller picture. We then carefully score, interpret, and draft your personalized report, and walk you through it together in a dedicated feedback session. Your final report (a detailed 12–15-page document) is delivered within 3–5 days of that session, with the full process typically completed 3–4 weeks after all collateral information is received.

What you leave with is the part that matters: a clear, evidence-based diagnosis, no guessing. Personalized insight into how ADHD is affecting your daily life, if you meet criteria. Practical recommendations and strategies built around your real responsibilities. Documentation to support work or school accommodations. And a feedback session to walk through what it all means and what comes next.

You deserve to know what you’re really dealing with

If you have spent years calling yourself lazy or scattered, you have been answering a question no one has ever properly asked you.

Needing notes, reminders, and structure to get through your day does not make you a failure. It means something is going on. And you deserve to understand it accurately, not quickly.

When most people think of post-traumatic stress disorder, they picture a single, identifiable, a car accident, a natural disaster, injuries during war, or a violent sexual or physical assault. And while single-incident trauma absolutely can lead to a diagnosis of PTSD, there is another presentation that is harder to name but just as real: the kind of trauma that happens over time, in relationships, often beginning in childhood.

Researchers and clinicians call this Complex PTSD, or Disorders of Extreme Stress Not Otherwise Specified (DESNOS). It describes the constellation of symptoms that develop in response to prolonged, repeated, and often inescapable trauma, particularly interpersonal abuse occurring within relationships where power and trust are central.

Bessel van der Kolk and colleagues (1996) identified six clusters of symptoms that characterize this more complex clinical picture. Together, they paint a portrait of a person whose entire sense of self, relationships, and place in the world has been shaped by chronic trauma.

The first cluster involves alterations in the regulation of emotions and impulses, difficulty managing anger, persistent self-destructive behavior, or a sense of being at the mercy of emotional waves that arrive without warning. The second involves alterations in attention and consciousness, including amnesias, dissociative episodes, and depersonalization, the sense of being detached from one’s own mind or body.

The third cluster describes changes in self-perception: a chronic sense of guilt, shame, or responsibility for what happened, even when the person was clearly the one harmed. The fourth involves profound changes in relationships, difficulty with trust and intimacy, a tendency to be either intensely connected or completely shut down. The fifth is somatization: the body carrying what the mind cannot hold, expressing trauma through physical symptoms that have no clear medical cause. And sixth is a disruption in systems of meaning, the loss of faith, hope, or the ability to believe that life has purpose.

Van der Kolk argued that the most clinically important issue in treating DESNOS is a patient’s capacity to modulate their own affective arousal. When someone is chronically dysregulated, that is, flooded with emotion or completely shut down, they cannot effectively process traumatic memory. And without that processing, negative outcomes persist.

This is why Complex PTSD can be difficult to recognize, and why it is frequently misdiagnosed. A person with DESNOS may present with depression, anxiety, borderline personality features, somatic complaints, or substance use, without anyone connecting these presentations to a history of chronic relational trauma. Many high-functioning professionals and adults carry this history invisibly, having learned very early to manage their external world with skill while their internal world remained in a state of chronic dysregulation.

If you recognize yourself in this, if you have wondered why standard treatments haven’t fully worked, or why you feel fundamentally different from people whose trauma was a discrete event, it is worth exploring whether complex trauma may be part of your story.

At Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness, we specialize in trauma-informed care that accounts for the full complexity of a person’s history. Healing from DESNOS is possible. It requires time, the right therapeutic relationship, and a clinician who understands that some wounds are older and deeper than when they first appeared.

Have you ever driven a familiar route and arrived at your destination with almost no memory of the trip? Or found yourself staring at a screen, completely absorbed, with no idea how twenty minutes disappeared? If so, you have experienced a mild form of dissociation, and you are far from alone.

Dissociation exists on a spectrum. At one end are the fleeting, everyday experiences most of us recognize: daydreaming, zoning out under stress, or losing track of time during a repetitive task. At the other end are clinical presentations that significantly disrupt daily life, persistent memory gaps, feelings of watching yourself from outside your body, or the experience of having distinct identity states with their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

So, what, exactly, is dissociation? The DSM-IV defines it as “a disruption in the usually integrated functions of consciousness, memory, identity, or perception of the environment” (American Psychiatric Association, 1994). In simpler terms: the parts of your experience that normally work together, your sense of who you are, your awareness of the present, your access to memories, become fragmented or disconnected.

Dissociation is not a character flaw or a sign of instability. It is a psychological response, one that often begins as a survival mechanism. Bessel van der Kolk and colleagues (1996) noted that individuals who have experienced prolonged or severe interpersonal trauma frequently develop significant dissociative symptoms as part of a broader clinical picture that includes disruptions in emotion regulation, self-perception, relationships, and the ability to make meaning of their experiences.

Putnam (1989) described dissociation as an effective short-term coping tool for traumatic cues, the mind’s way of creating distance from overwhelming experience. The challenge arises when this mechanism becomes a chronic pattern, applied to everyday stress rather than acute danger. At that point, dissociation can interfere with relationships, work, and a person’s capacity to fully engage with their own life.

Clinically, five dissociative disorders are recognized in the diagnostic literature: dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, depersonalization disorder, and dissociative disorder not otherwise specified. Each involves a different pattern of disruption, but all share the core feature of fragmented or disconnected experience.

One of the most widely used tools to measure dissociation across the spectrum is the Dissociative Experiences Scale (DES), developed by Bernstein and Putnam (1986). The DES includes questions like: “Some people have the experience of driving or riding on a bus or subway and suddenly realize they don’t remember what happened during all or part of the trip.” These everyday-sounding scenarios are deliberate, they illustrate how broadly dissociation can express itself, from the unremarkable to the clinically significant.

If you recognize yourself in the milder descriptions, that is normal. If you are experiencing persistent memory gaps, depersonalization, or a sense of disconnection from yourself or your surroundings that is affecting your functioning, it is worth talking with a mental health professional. Dissociation is highly treatable, particularly when addressed within a trauma-informed therapeutic relationship.

Some of the most painful conversations people avoid aren’t about illness or loss. They’re about what happens after. Who gets the house, who gets the land. How the savings get divided. What did grandmother or grandfather actually want.

These conversations sit unspoken for years, sometimes decades, until a death, a diagnosis, or a legal deadline forces them to the surface. And by then, the stakes feel impossibly high and the emotional temperature even higher.

If your family is navigating conversations about money, estate planning, or property, here is a framework I return to clinically, one that doesn’t promise easy answers, but does offer a more honest and humane way through.

Start by assessing your foundation

Before any conversation begins, think honestly about the history of your family’s communication. Has this always been a family that struggled to talk openly? Or is this conflict new, surfacing specifically around money and property after years of relative peace? What does the family relationship house look like is the foundation in need of repair, has it been maintained well over the, are there leaks anywhere?

The answer shapes your expectations. If communication has always been fractured, one conversation will not repair it. That is not pessimism. It is honesty. Managing expectations is not giving up, it is giving your family a realistic chance.

What I can say with confidence is this: repair is possible. But if there is a history of physical violence, verbal abuse, or threats among family members, that history must be named and addressed before any estate conversation can be productive, we must set rules that violence cannot and will not be tolerated. Safety is the foundation. Without it, nothing else holds.

What makes these conversations so hard

Family conflicts about money are rarely just about money. Underneath the arguments about who pays, who benefits, and what is fair are older, deeper needs: the need to feel safe, the need to feel respected, the need to know your contribution matters.

There is also something important in the background that many families do not discuss: the long shadow of collective and intergenerational trauma. For many families, particularly those with histories of enslavement, indentureship, or colonialism, and the injustice, greed, abuses of power that these systems practiced, the distrust, avoidance, and emotional dysregulation that surface in these conversations are not simply personality conflicts. They are, in part, inherited patterns. Epigenetic research is beginning to confirm what many communities have long carried in their bodies: these experiences do not simply disappear. They shape the way we trust, the way we fight, and the way we go silent.

Avoidance itself is worth examining. Persistent avoidance is a recognized symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Even the belief that planning an estate will hasten death is not irrational, it is a fear response rooted in something real, and can be a persistent negative belief that was helpful early on, but today needs updating. Naming it, rather than shaming it, creates the possibility of moving through it and changing it.

Practical principles that actually help

Separate the business from the emotion. Emotional attachment to a family home or heirloom is normal and valid. It does not need to be eliminated. But the financial decisions, who pays, who benefits, what the options are, can and should be discussed as a separate track, as a business transaction. Both things can coexist.

Return to what everyone agrees on. Not every problem is solvable, and not every disagreement will resolve. But there are usually shared values underneath the conflict. Most families can agree they want to honor the wishes of the person who built or left something. Start there and return there often.

Use I statements and active listening. Instead of “you never communicate clearly,” try “I feel anxious when I don’t know what the plan is.” Practice active listening, repeat back what you hear.

Name the hard thing. When a conversation stalls, say what you notice: “I notice we all go quiet when this comes up.” When you name it, you can measure it. When you can measure it, you can manage it.

Slow the conversation down. Take breaks when emotions run high. No good thinking is happening when your frustration or anger is high. Take a break and come back when everyone is at baseline.

Schedule regular meetings. Set clear agendas for each meeting. Identify shared goals. Keep meetings to 45–60 minutes, schedule them in advance, and do not have these conversations at night.

Most importantly, frame the issues as “our” problem rather than using “you” and “me”.

When to bring in outside support

If communication has broken down entirely, if people are not speaking at all, or if there is a deadline approaching and communication is happening but unproductive, I recommend that one person seek professional support first. A family therapist can help that individual develop the language and skills to approach other family members one by one, and eventually bring everyone to the table with structure, clear goals, and realistic expectations.

These conversations rarely resolve in one sitting. They are a process. The goal is not perfection. The goal is to begin, with respect, with honesty, and with the understanding that what is at stake is worth the effort. We are entitled to step into wealth. Grandmother and grandfather took the first step, now it’s time for us to use all the resources available and take the next steps.

Nathilee Caldeira, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and Founder of Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness, P.C., a multi-provider mental health practice in Midtown Manhattan. Individual therapy and consultation are available across New York, New Jersey, and Florida.

There is a difference between anxiety that is working for you and anxiety that is working against you.

In low to moderate levels, anxiety is actually useful. It sharpens your focus, helps you prepare, and motivates you to act. The problem comes when the alarm won’t stop, when you find yourself cycling through the same worries long after you’ve already planned for them, losing sleep over outcomes you can’t control, and feeling the weight of it in your body before you’ve even gotten out of bed.

If that sounds familiar, you are not broken. You are human, navigating a world that has handed all of us a genuinely heavy load. What follows are seven evidence-based strategies I use clinically and personally to manage anxiety before it manages you.

1. Arm yourself with knowledge.

Anxiety is the fear of what might happen in the future. Understanding that it has a purpose, that it is your nervous system doing its job, can immediately reduce its power. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety. The goal is to recognize when it shifts from helpful to excessive. Know your personal warning signs: catastrophic thinking, a tight chest, shallow breathing, a clenched jaw, disrupted sleep, appetite changes. When you can name what’s happening in your body, you can begin to respond rather than react.

2. Label it.

When anxiety rises, most of us push through it, treating it as a weakness to hide rather than a signal to acknowledge. Research consistently shows the opposite works better. Name what you’re feeling: I’m anxious. I’m frustrated. I’m overwhelmed. Whatever language feels natural, use it. Labeling an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces the intensity of the emotional response. It puts you back in the driver’s seat.

3.Measure it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where is your anxiety right now? This simple practice builds emotional intelligence, the ability to notice, understand, and manage your inner state. Decades of research show that people with higher emotional intelligence perform better at work, have stronger relationships, and resolve conflicts more effectively. Measuring your emotions also helps you identify your triggers: a certain kind of email, a particular person, a specific memory. When you can predict the pattern, you can interrupt it.

4. Limit the news. Expand your support.

Staying informed is important. Being saturated is something else entirely. Limit news and social media to once per day, ideally in the morning, and redirect that time toward the people who actually nourish you. Talking through your experiences with someone you trust, a family member, a close friend, a spiritual community, validates your feelings and reminds you that you are not alone in them. Community is not a luxury. For many people, it is the most effective anxiety intervention available.

5. Challenge the thought, not just the feeling.

Negative thinking patterns follow a predictable cycle. A thought (I’m a failure) creates a feeling (shame, anxiety) that drives a behavior (withdrawing from people), which then reinforces the original thought. Writing it down interrupts that cycle. Try scheduling a dedicated 15 to 20 minutes of “worry time”, a specific window to examine the thought, challenge it, and replace it with something more accurate. Outside that window, you can remind yourself: that’s for worry time.

6. Use your voice.

Anxiety thrives in helplessness. One of the most effective antidotes is action, particularly action that extends beyond your own circumstances. Contacting your legislative representatives, local, state and federal, joining organizations aligned with your values, and engaging in advocacy move you from bystander to agent. Using your voice builds a sense of empowerment that passive consumption of bad news never can.

7. Protect your joy, deliberately.

This is not optional, and it is not self-indulgent. When the environment around you is heavy, you have to be intentional about creating moments of laughter, meaning, and pleasure. Schedule it if you have to. The research on resilience is detailed: the people who maintain it through sustained stress are not those who feel less; they are those who tend to their well-being consistently, not just in crisis.

A foundation of good sleep, basic nutrition, and regular movement makes all of the above more possible. None of this is revolutionary. But it works, and it compounds over time.

If you have been managing on your own for a while and the weight is not lifting, that is also useful information. Proactive support, before things feel out of control, is almost always more effective than waiting until they are.

Nathilee Caldeira, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and Founder of Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness, P.C. We offer individual therapy, ADHD testing, and clinical consultation in Midtown Manhattan and via telehealth across New York, New Jersey, and Florida.

If Your Planner Worked, You Wouldn’t Be Here

One set of testing and evaluation changes everything

I think ADHD is discussed online in a very strange way.

Somewhere along the line, it stopped being discussed like a real clinical issue and started getting treated like a personality reveal. A quirky identity. A plot twist.

A slightly more medical version of “this is just how I am.”

That is not how we think about it.

ADHD testing is not about putting someone in a box and handing them a label like a name tag. It is about understanding how a person’s brain functions and where things get stuck. Because “I can’t focus” is real. But it is not, by itself, an explanation.

Sometimes, attention problems are ADHD. Sometimes they are anxiety, chronic stress, past trauma, poor sleep, or a body alarm system that has been going off for so long that concentration never really had a fair chance. That is one of the reasons comprehensive psychological testing matters.

It helps untangle: Is this how your brain is wired? Or is your system overloaded?

That is a very important difference.

And I think many adults need that clarity because many of them have spent years telling themselves some version of: “I’m lazy”; “I’m disorganized”; “I’m careless”; “I just need to try harder”.

Usually, they have already been trying harder. Quite a bit harder, actually.

Psychological testing is not a dramatic yes/no brain scan hidden in the back office.

It is a structured way to look at how someone processes, retains, organizes, and uses information. For one person, working memory may be the issue. For someone else, it may be processing speed. For someone else, it may be sustained attention. So when testing is done well, the goal is not to hand someone a personality verdict. The goal is to give them a map.

A map says: Here is where the bottleneck is. Here is why this has felt so hard. Here is what may actually help. And honestly, for many people, the biggest relief is not even the diagnosis itself. It is finally being able to say: “Oh, this is not a character flaw. This is something real. And now I know what I’m working with.” This is a much kinder place to begin. And frankly, much more useful than spending another five years blaming yourself and buying increasingly ambitious planners.

If this resonates, call, email, or text us for a free consultation.

The term “microaggressions” was coined by Dr. Chester Pierce, a senior advisor and influential force on Sesame Street. Microaggressions are considered subtle and non-direct forms of discrimination, that could be verbal or behavioral, towards an individual from a minority group (ethnic, racial, sexual orientation, religious, gender, etc.). Sometimes this form of discrimination is hard to identify due to its subtlety. However, one’s mental health can be significantly affected by microaggressions.

Let’s start with recognizing microaggressions. Microaggressions can be:

Generalizations based on an implicit bias

Implying that someone is less-than

Believing a negative stereotype and making an assumption about someone

How to address it:

Experiencing a microaggression can consume  a lot of emotional labor; you may want to process on your own.

Or, you may want to confront the person and explain how it made you feel.

Ask follow-up questions and show curiosity, rather than attacking them.

Talk to your therapist and unpack the impacts they have had on you.

None of us are immune from absorbing biases, but we can practice awareness and mindfulness to help prevent microaggressions.

Do you ever feel like “working” on your mental health feels like another item added to your to-do list? Sometimes it can feel like a burden, but by focusing on your mental health, you’ll be better equipped to handle your day to day. Simple actions can have a large impact on your wellness. Keep reading for five things you can do to help improve your mental health:

1. Physical activity and movement: Our bodies hold on to grief, trauma, anxiety, sadness and other negative emotions. When we move and exercise, the body creates feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin. What kind of movement would feel rebalancing and help you release energy?

2. Journaling: Journaling can help us unpack complex emotions by getting our thoughts out and processing our feelings on paper. Journaling doesn’t have to be in-depth—unless you want it to! It can look like short bullets, stream of consciousness, or even gratitude journaling. What kind of journaling would feel good to you?

3. Mindfulness & meditation: Mindfulness can take practice, but it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Start with just focusing on what you’re doing and giving it your undivided attention. Following guided meditations can also be helpful; or just connect to your breath. A mindful walk where you focus on sounds, scents, and sensations is another example.

4. Routine: Another action that can encourage positive mental health is having a daily and weekly routine. This can include sleeping and waking up at the same time everyday, getting at least 8 hours of sleep, eating balanced meals, moving your body. What is a routine you could add to your life that would bring joy and calm?

5. Social Connection: Humans are social beings and are wired for connection. Connecting with others in authentic and genuine ways can increase joy and happiness, and feelings of fulfillment.  What does authentic connection look like for you?

Looking for guidance with improving your mental wellbeing? Our therapists can help you develop your most fulfilling life.

It’s important to cultivate a positive and optimistic mindset when navigating day to day life. Now that doesn’t mean being toxically positive, trying to see the positive even in the most negative moments. On the contrary- maintaining an optimistic mindset can include acknowledging and validating hardships, whilst also focusing and acknowledging all the positive and wonderful things that are happening in your life.

Here are a few ways to maintain a positive and optimistic mindset:

Gratitude: You can practice gratitude by simply growing more aware of all the things that are happening in your life that you are thankful for. You can do this either by investing in a gratitude journal, or simply by including gratitude in your routine.

Invite awareness to every moment: When we are present and aware whilst navigating life, we are more likely to notice the more subtle and small nuances that could bring us joy.

Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs: When you notice yourself engage in negative self-talk or beliefs surrounding yourself and the world, try to be more aware and try to challenge those beliefs or label them so that they don’t interfere with your psyche.

Increase Joy: Ask yourself what truly brings you happiness, calm, and purpose, and do more of it! When we intentionally create lives filled with activities, people, and places that bring us joy, we are more likely to have a more positive outlook on life

Be kind to others: research shows that when we treat others with kindness and give from our time and energy, we tend to feel more positively about ourselves and our lives. This could be anything from buying a friend or a colleague a cup of coffee, to volunteering with a population you care about, to just smiling at a passerby.

If you’re noticing that it may be harder to cultivate a more positive and optimistic outlook on life, and you’ve tried all the above tips and feel exhausted and helpless, then it may be time to discuss this with a professional. At times, we can do everything to elevate our lives and mental health, but there may be a reason that’s beyond our control that’s leaving us feeling stuck. You are not alone- you can lean on other’s to create more optimism in your life.

What is Trauma?

Trauma responses can result from directly experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event or after being exposed to multiple traumatic events, over time. These can include, exposure to death, serious injury, or sexual violence. Traumatic events can also include exposure to traumatic details of accidents, death, or collecting human remains that first responders and police officers are often exposed to. Trauma can also include learning about a violent traumatic event that occurred to a family member or close friend. Any of these traumatic events may lead to trauma symptoms. 

Intrusive, distressing memories of a trauma can sometimes be one of the most debilitating symptoms. Intrusive memories can interfere with work productivity and steal precious time away from building and sustaining good relationships with our family, friends, and intimate partners.

One treatment that has been shown to be very helpful in processing trauma memories is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR therapy). EMDR focuses on targeting the memory that is presently causing the distress. Intrusive, distressing, and unprocessed memories may continue to pervade your nervous system signaling that something is wrong or leading you to believe you are still in danger. When your nervous system identifies an experience as traumatic, it stores it in your body through negative beliefs, sensations, feelings, and emotions. When one is triggered by a person, place or event, the nervous system is reminded of the past memory, kicking the nervous system into protective mode. This can result in a hyper-aroused state, feelings of anger, overwhelm or panic, otherwise known as “fight or flight” or it can result in checking out or feeling numb. 

What is EMDR?

EMDR is a mind-body nervous system therapy intervention. The goal of EMDR is to transform the way that disturbing experiences from the past are held in memory and experienced in the present. Following EMDR reprocessing, the memory is transformed. The trauma is remembered, but it feels like it is in the past where it belongs. The experience no longer feels disturbing or activates the mind/body/nervous system. Using a collaborative approach, the therapist and client jointly identify the goals to be addressed, as well as, the appropriate memories for reprocessing. 

How does EMDR work?

EMDR reprocessing begins with a series of questions about different parts of the memory that are causing distress. The therapist guides the client to access relevant images, emotions, body sensations and beliefs related to the memory. Using bilateral stimulation (eye movements and other alternating sensory input), free association is deepened and integrated with new, adaptive information that facilitates healing the trauma and resolution.  

What if I already have a therapist?

EMDR is beneficial for those who already have a primary therapist and a good working relationship but are finding themselves getting ‘hijacked’ by their trauma symptoms due to triggers that are connected to past events. This constant interruption from the nervous system may be a barrier in reaching the goals of therapy.   

EMDR can be helpful for Trauma and PTSD, that are a result of any traumatic event. EMDR can be helpful in addressing anxiety, depression, as well as symptoms related to complicated grief and loss. 

Are You Actually Resting—Or Just Scrolling?

How screen time impacts your mental health—and how to take control without giving up your phone

Too much screen time can quietly fuel burnout, anxiety, and sleep issues—especially for persons juggling career stress and emotional overload. Discover how to reset your tech habits for improved mental health and overall well-being.

The Scroll Trap In a world where you can find anything in seconds—a recipe on Pinterest, therapy advice on TikTok, or the latest headline on your Twitter feed—it’s easy to lose track of how much of your time and energy is spent staring at a screen.

Instant access to everything is excellent… until it becomes your go-to coping mechanism without you even realizing it. If you’re feeling emotionally foggy, physically tense, or mentally exhausted after “relaxing” online, it’s time to check-in.

So where’s the line between helpful and harmful? And how can you reset your screen habits without unplugging from the world?

 The Real Impact of Too Much Screen Time

 Physical Burnout You Can’t Ignore

Even if your 9–to–5 job is screen-heavy, the extra hours of late-night scrolling or background binge-watching can disrupt your body’s natural rhythm. Common symptoms include:

Digital eye strain

Headaches or jaw tension

Poor sleep quality

Disrupted circadian rhythm

 Emotional & Mental Burnout You Might Be Missing

Let’s be honest: sometimes the scroll starts as self-care… and ends in self-comparison.

Maybe you notice more anxiety after checking the news. Perhaps you feel behind after seeing someone else’s curated success. Or maybe your screen time is filled with content that leaves you numb or emotionally drained.

How do I feel after I scroll?

What kind of content am I consuming—and does it support my peace?

Am I turning to my phone instead of tuning into my needs?

 How to Set Healthier Boundaries with Tech

You don’t have to ditch your phone, cancel your Netflix account, or delete every app. This is about realistic shifts that help you reconnect with yourself—without disconnecting from the world.

 1. Curate Your Feed With Intention

It’s not just how much time you spend online, it’s what you spend it on.

Unfollow accounts that leave you drained

Mute triggers (yes, even if they’re trending)

Follow people who feel nourishing and honest

Your feed should uplift—not exhaust—you.

 2. Turn Off the Noise (aka Notifications)

You don’t need a ping every time there’s a flash sale or celebrity update.

Start here:

Silence non-urgent notifications

Keep messages and emails off during non-work hours

Schedule “check-in” times to catch up instead of being constantly on

 3. Create Tech-Free Routines

Balance doesn’t mean banning—it means being intentional.

Try this:

Start your day with you before your phone

Take tech-free walks, even if they’re short.

Designate “scroll-free” hours after dinner or before bed

These small shifts can have a big impact on your nervous system.

 Therapy Can Help You Reclaim Your Energy

At Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness, we help individuals like you manage anxiety, reset unhelpful coping habits, and build lives that align with your values—not your notifications.

You don’t need to feel guilty for loving tech. You need tools to make sure it’s not stealing your peace.

Let’s work together to create boundaries that support your healing—not your stress.

 Ready to Get Started?

We’ve all experienced inner thoughts such as “You’re not working hard enough”, “That was so stupid”, “What a dumb thing to say.” Even if we don’t realize in the moment how mean we’re being to ourself, those thoughts have an impact on our self-image.

We all experience this voice from time to time. But for some of us the voice may be louder, or has been there for a very long time. But you can learn to think differently and change the way you speak to yourself.

Here are five ways to work on changing negative self-talk:

1. Explore: Where did this inner dialog come from? Sometimes we’ve internalized the way a caregiver used to speak to us; or we’ve absorbed the pressure to be perfect in everything we do. Ask, where did I learn to talk to myself this way?

2. Analyze: What function does my negative self-talk serve? Is it to motivate me to do something differently? Is it to protect me from shame and embarrassment? Or is it just bringing me down?

3. Challenge: When you notice you’re engaging in negative self-talk, try to reframe the thought. If you think, “I’m not doing enough, I could try harder” say, “That’s not true. I’m doing my best with the energy I have.”

4. Refocus: What did you do today that you’re proud of? We tend to focus on all the negative things we did. Spend some time reflecting on the things you did well or are proud of.

5. Affirm: This may feel cheesy at first but it can help rewire your thoughts. Think about what your negative self-talk is telling you about yourself, and say to yourself the opposite every single day.

Changing these thinking patterns and developing more positive self-talk can take time. Give yourself grace when you’re learning a new way to think. Seeking the guidance of a therapist can make the process a little easier. Together you can safely explore how your negative thoughts started and how to heal and grow.

In a world where so much of our lives is connected to the internet, it’s easy to lose track of how much time you spend staring at a screen. Too much screen time can cause anxiety, burnout, and sleep issues. If you feel foggy, tense, or exhausted after “relaxing” online, it’s time to check in.

Ask yourself:

How do I feel after I scroll?

What kind of content am I consuming—and does it support my peace?

Am I turning to my phone instead of tuning into my needs?

Set healthier boundaries with your tech:

Silence non-urgent notifications

Keep messages and emails off during non-work hours

Schedule “check-in” times to catch up instead of being constantly on

Take tech-free walks, even if they’re short

Start and end your day phone-free

Balance doesn’t mean banning—it means being intentional. Small changes in your relationship with screens & the internet can have important changes on your nervous system.

At Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness, we help individuals like you manage anxiety, reset unhelpful coping habits, and build lives that align with your values—not your notifications.

The term “microaggressions” was coined by Dr. Chester Pierce, a senior advisor and influential force on Sesame Street. Microaggressions are considered subtle and non-direct forms of discrimination, that could be verbal or behavioral, towards an individual from a minority group (ethnic, racial, sexual orientation, religious, gender, etc.). Sometimes this form of discrimination is hard to identify due to its subtlety. However, one’s mental health can be significantly affected by microaggressions.

Let’s start with recognizing microaggressions. Microaggressions can be:

Generalizations based on an implicit bias

Implying that someone is less-than

Believing a negative stereotype and making an assumption about someone

How to address it:

Experiencing a microaggression can consume  a lot of emotional labor; you may want to process on your own.

Or, you may want to confront the person and explain how it made you feel.

Ask follow-up questions and show curiosity, rather than attacking them.

Talk to your therapist and unpack the impacts they have had on you.

None of us are immune from absorbing biases, but we can practice awareness and mindfulness to help prevent microaggressions.

There’s a cheesy quote I like to share with my clients: The opposite of depression is expression. When we keep things bottled up inside of us, they tend to fester, and we eventually have a big emotional outburst that may feel out of our control. Talking and communicating how you feel can be a helpful way to alleviate feeling sad or stressed.

Oftentimes, when we lay things down on paper or share them with someone other than our internal dialogue, we feel a release. Talking to others can help normalize your experience, and create dialogue surrounding how to best receive support.

When the topic of starting therapy emerges, you may question, well why would I talk to a stranger about my issues when I could just talk to my partner, a friend, or a family member? While it is true that your loved ones can serve as vital supporters, you could occasionally encounter some roadblocks:

they may struggle to be objective.

they may have their own issues that they are working through, and may not have the full capacity to support you.

what you’re experiencing could go beyond their scope of expertise.

That’s why talking to a professional therapist could help alleviate your symptoms, and could take some pressure off of your relationships.

In a world where so much of our lives is connected to the internet, it’s easy to lose track of how much time you spend staring at a screen. Too much screen time can cause anxiety, burnout, and sleep issues. If you feel foggy, tense, or exhausted after “relaxing” online, it’s time to check in.

Ask yourself:

How do I feel after I scroll?

What kind of content am I consuming—and does it support my peace?

Am I turning to my phone instead of tuning into my needs?

Set healthier boundaries with your tech:

Silence non-urgent notifications

Keep messages and emails off during non-work hours

Schedule “check-in” times to catch up instead of being constantly on

Take tech-free walks, even if they’re short

Start and end your day phone-free

Balance doesn’t mean banning—it means being intentional. Small changes in your relationship with screens & the internet can have important changes on your nervous system.

At Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness, we help individuals like you manage anxiety, reset unhelpful coping habits, and build lives that align with your values—not your notifications.

If you broke your leg, nobody would tell you, “It’s okay, push through.” You’d seek help immediately. Get a diagnosis, a cast. Maybe even some physical therapy. People would check in and ensure that you get some rest. Your doctor would even write you a note to miss work.

So why don’t we treat mental injuries the same way?

A past traumatic event such as physical or sexual abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence, sudden death of a loved one. While we are all resilient in the face of trauma, many of us still have subsequent and lasting symptoms of anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress. We suffer from grief, loneliness.

We often don’t urgently seek answers for mental pain. Instead, we hide them. We push them away, minimize, and move on.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s been a rough week.”

“I’ll get through it.”

But the truth is: Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.

And not just in a metaphorical way–but in a measurable, life-altering way.

When you give your mental health the same consideration as your physical health, you reap distinct rewards:

Better sleep.

Stronger relationships.

More clarity at work.

Faster emotional resilience.

A greater capacity for joy and satisfaction.

You deserve tools to help yourself. You deserve support in your journey. Most of all, you deserve to heal.

Here are a few starting points:

For trauma — the brain and body can learn to feel safe again. Therapy that works with the nervous system, like EMDR or somatic therapy, can help your brain move from surviving to thriving.

For anxiety — tools like breathwork, mindfulness, and CBT do work. They help to rewire your brain’s alarm system. You don’t have to keep living in fight-or-flight.

For depression — connection, and structure do matter, but so does compassion. Depression isn’t laziness. It’s an illness that deserves care. This comes in the form of routine professional support.

For loneliness — reach out. It sounds simple, but it’s profound. Reach out. Send the text. Start the conversation. We are designed to connect, and healing often begins within our relationships.

We also know that if your symptoms are moderate to severe, it is important to get a professional mental health consultation and check-up to find out if adding medication may be helpful.

So here’s your takeaway:

If you’re struggling, don’t wait to ask for help. Don’t minimize. Don’t hide.

Seek support and find tools to help.