Moved to @talking-bigender!

Hi, so sorry for the late response- and it’s not rude! Although I would like to say that if your character is bigender at any point then he isn’t “cis in the start”, he’s just in the closet. There can be many ways- maybe he talked to another bigender person about their experiences and he relates to them, maybe he hears the definition somehow and is hit with a wave of realization, maybe he tries different labels throughout the story and finds that the bigender label makes him happiest.

So sorry for the late response!! But 1) you sure are! Nonbinary lesbians are absolutely a thing and many people identify as a lesbian due to their attachment to the label and community- so go for it! 2) Self validation is a hard thing to come by, but I hope it helps that I absolutely think you’re valid and we certainly need to spread the idea that bigender isn’t always just “boy + girl”! 3) It really is lesbian flag dilemma 2.0., because the creator of the most popular bigender flag (the pink, purple, white, purple and blue one) was revealed to be... A total shithead so the flag I use is the second most popular and made by someone decent, from what I’ve heard at least. (And hell yeah fellow bigender ace!!) 

If nobody has thought of bigenderfluidflux before, then just make it a label anyway! Please, if you think it suits you best and describes your experiences, then go for it.

Hey there! Sorry for the late response- but let me tell you something. Nobody but you can dictate what gender you are or what label to use, and it doesn’t matter if someone claims you’re “misrepresenting the community”. I think it’s awesome that you feel like the bigender label fits you best, and I think that you should keep using it on that basis alone. Don’t let gatekeepers and other people’s opinions keep you away from your identity, alright?

Well, thing is, all nonbinary genders CAN fall under the transgender umbrella- by that I mean it isn’t a matter of what “kind” nonbinary you are that determines your trans-ness, but if you personally want to go by that label. For example, I’m nonbinary and by extension could consider myself trans, regardless of whether one of my genders align with my agab- but I choose not to, mainly because I don’t like exclusionists lumping me under the T label to justify their bigotry and exclusion of other identities. It’s just a matter of choice really

Hey there! So sorry for the late response- to start, I think that if you feel good being not cis, then you’re definitely not cis. Secondly, presentation or how well you pass has no indicative on your gender, so please don’t feel like you have to chose a label based on how others see you- instead, what would make you most comfterable/content? You said you were pretty happy as being binary trans, so what label would make you feel the same now, if not better? That’s what you should be asking yourself, I think. And the final decision on what you identify as should be made by you and you alone.

Hey there! Sorry for the late response- secondly, I’m not here to tell you what you are or what you’re not. All I can say is that if the nonbinary label and the bigender label is enticing to you, that you think it encompasses what you feel and it’d make you happy to identify as, then that’s the label for you. Even if you only feel a small percent of a different gender, no matter how you present or what you want to look like, the final decision should be made by you.

Sure! If you feel like that encompasses your gender experience best and it’s what you want as a label then please use it! I’ve said this before, but labels are tools for us to use rather than innate things we “are”, if that makes sense, and exist for our comfort!

Hey there! There’s really nothing “wrong” with you. I think you’re very hung up on how others see you and on fitting a certain mold though. You should focus on allowing yourself to experience what you do freely, and being an observer rather than a suppressor/trying to control your experiences. I also can’t tell you what you “are”- you get to decide what fits you best and makes you happiest in terms of labels. If you think you’re bigender and that’s what you want to be, then that’s probably what you are. Or, if not, then there are other labels that you should look at and see if you connect to them better. Hope this makes sense.

Hey there! Sorry for the late response- first of all, pronouns are not indicative of gender and you can use any pronouns you want, or none at all! Second, there’s no singluar way to “find out” you’re a gender- if you think you’re bigender and the thought of being bigender makes you happy though, then you’re probably bigender. Third, I’ve never come out to people so I don’t have advice on that front, I’m really sorry. Although if you have a homophobic mom, I advise you stay safe and don’t come out to her until you’re in a position where you don’t depend on her for shelter/income/food/etc.

Sorry for the late response, but I’m happy to learn that I’ve helped with your creative process! I’m always happy to hear about bigender rep. Although, if you don’t mind me commenting, you can write bi-gender as just bigender, no need for a dash!

Hey there! Sorry for the late response first of all- second, labels are flexible and if you feel like your experience makes you bigender then feel free to call yourself that! It’s not up to me to decide what you are, what you need to focus on is finding a label that makes you happy and comfortable. And if bigender does that for you, then go for it! Hope that makes sense

Hey there! Sorry for late response, but yeah! No bigender experience is the same, and if you experience your gender fluidly then that’s fine too!

Hi there! So sorry for the late response- but I think that it’s counterproductive to worry about what others think when it’s your identity. I know it’s hard defining your sexuality when you’re nonbinary, many familiar labels aren’t made for us- but that shouldn’t stop you from identifying as what makes you happy! Besides, nonbinary lesbians exist and have existed for a long time- so don’t worry about others, it’s none of their business really, and focus on yourself and what feels best for you!

I know there’s this idea that you’re born with or have an innate “perfect” label for you, that there’s a “right answer” to the question “what am I”- but labels are just that- they’re labels, ie. tools for us to use. It’s up to you to put them on, and up to you to chose which one(s) fit you best. Hope this helps!