C O N N E T I O N

I don’t know why I think of this possibility only now, while I should have realised it way sooner (c’mon, I’m a fucking psychology student): I must be a high sensitive person! 

Like, I’ve always been a huge crybaby, from the cradle to emerging adulthood. If someone is pissed off at me and starts screaming: I start crying. If I’m pissed off: I start crying. If I think about past hurt: I start crying. If I watch some drama movie: I start crying. For the most banal things (like looking forward to eating spaghetti, but then come home and have fishsticks for dinner): I start crying. Sometimes even without a clear reason. And from the moment the tears are flowing, it seems almost impossible for me to stop. Lately, I’ve been like: “DAFUQ IS WRONG WITH MEH?!? Am I like depressed or something?” But apart from the crying, a huge need for sleep, difficulty falling asleep, low energy, concentration problems and total lack of motivation (mostly in the education department), I cannot say I’m suffering from other symptoms. So I was like “Hmm…could I just maybe be…too sensitive? Hypersensitive?” I filled in some checklist on the internet and I recognised myself in many statements. Let’s see:

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

Other people’s moods affect me: When people cry, I cry (big surprise)

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.

I have a rich, complex inner life.

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises: My mom shouting at me, killing!

I am deeply moved by the arts or music: I remember that I used to be moved, accompanied by crying (of course) by dolphin music as a child

My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.

I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations: I need to! I have (undiagnosed) dermatillomania/compulsive skin picking. When I feel overwhelmed (which happens a lot), I can’t help but scratch myself since it provides some sort of “relief”. Doesn’t really help my eczema…

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.