Area man's efforts to be a normal fucking horse thief stymied by his own incredible hotness
Kana-ma-Kana is just trying to be a normal raider, stealing from the herds of the Rumi tribe, when Kahardash comes to stop him:
The rider, whose name was Kahardash, was the leader of the hundred, and, looking at Kana-ma-Kana, he saw that, in addition to his consummate horsemanship, he had remarkable beauty, which was like that of Fatin, his own beloved, a girl with the loveliest of faces, who had been endowed by God not only with beauty but with every noble quality and indescribable grace, so as to distract all men's hearts. The riders of her clan and the champions of that region went in fear and awe of her strength and she had sworn not to marry or to give herself to any man who could not defeat her. Kahardash was one of her suitors, but she had told her father that she would not allow anyone to approach her that had not got the better of her in a duel. When Kahardash heard this, he had been ashamed to fight against a girl and afraid of being disgraced. One of his friends had told him: "You have all the qualities of beauty and were she to prove stronger than you in a fight, you would still get the better of her, as she would see how handsome you are and let herself be defeated by you so that you would take her. Women have something they want from men, as you well know." Kahardash, however, had still refused and would not fight, and he had continued in his refusal until his encounter with Kana-ma-Kana. He was taken aback, thinking that his opponent was Fatin herself, who was, in fact, in love with him because of what she had heard of his beauty and courage. Advancing towards Kana-ma-Kana, he said; "Damn you, Fatin, have you come to show me how brave you are? Dismount so that I can talk with you. I have driven off all these flocks, betrayed companions and intercepted warriors and champions all because of your peerless beauty. Marry me, so that the daughters of kings may serve you and you may become queen of these lands." When Kana-ma-Kana heard this, he became furiously angry and shouted out: "Damn you, you Persian dog! Forget about Fatin and what you suspect her to be, and come out to fight. You will soon be on the ground." He then began to wheel and attack, varying his tactics so that when Kahardash saw this, he realized that here was a gallant rider and a lion-like champion. His mistake was clear to him when he saw the dark down on Kana-ma-Kana's cheek, like myrtle growing among red roses. He shrank from his attack and said to his companions: "Damn you, charge, him, one of you, and show him the sharp sword and the quivering lance. You should know that it is shameful for a group to attack a single man, even if he is a brave and powerful champion."
â Tales of 1,001 Nights, Night 142, trans. Malcolm C. Lyons


















