misery ✞

Andrew sketches (+ ember) that I did while on call with mi friend!!

Theyre vry fun to draw I hope I captured their aura properly lolzzz

IGNORE ALL OF THE SMUDGES I DIDNT THINK THEYD SHOW ON CAMERA 😿😿😿😿😿😿 it’s hard to draw with just a pen i had to use white out to cover up some mistakes i made

“crush on you ;(“

RIP to Andrew Blaze and her three victims , it has been 9 years since 2017 Weis Market sh00ting . I wish Andrew didnt do what they did but alas "only ashes remain" .

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I have always loved this photo of Andrew and I think Andrew would have loved it aswell , mainly because the smile that Andrew has in it is genuine and true and the camera was her life . It shows a moment of true happiness and passion that is forever frozen in time .

and i remembered the photos he took of himself on july 18th 2010, where he was holding a gun to his head. he references these photos later on in a message to somebody, likely meaning to say “why did i not die on july 18th?” which opens the idea that there could have been something he realized he could do, before he dies, that is .. and i think we all have the same idea in mind. now, if this is the case i do not believe he told this person whom the message was to the entirety of if, but that’s not what this is about.

i believe if that was what was going on, then adam shut his own plan down somewhere between late 2010 and early 2011, and this was because in his mind it would be ‘accomplishing something’ which would go against his views on life itself

going to his audio recordings from september 2011, he speaks about not having the discipline to kill himself, and not wanting to put a name to himself / accomplish anything specific before he does it, and something he said caught my eye

i’ve seen people here and there on reddit, and on the early days after the massacre suspect that he did it to force himself into killing himself, and i didn’t see why exactly that would be the case until now. he mentioned that his life was too comfortable to force himself into doing so - then proceeded to say that was the way he’d die, he was going to (…) going to WHAT? and he never explained. it was clearly something he withheld from the audience, and given his audience was occasionally one person it had to have been something he couldn’t say ever, this guy spoke about pedophilia on his channel so i would imagine it to be something drastic. he followed it by saying “either that or ill develop the discipline” (discipline to kill himself)

either WHAT