*vague yodeling noises*

Maybe one reason time seems to speed up in adult life is because when your full time job leaves you roughly 5 hours of free time a day plus two days off a week your life turns into a sort of monotony that makes the days blend together and creative pursuits move in slow motion as you can only get to them when other your commitments are done.

When you look back and think damn 2019 wasn’t that long ago where did the time go? Job. Your Job took it.

(In the cuck chair)(starts booing)

(Wife looks over)(I do a roman emperor thumbs down)(she executes the other guy)

Never before has an animal’s face so clearly expressed “You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

OH MY GOD

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

Finally, science has a practical use

do y’all remember before direct messages tumblr had a dumbass ask limit of 10 per hour and communication was impossible until they introduced dumbass fan mail and we were basically sending telegraphs back in forth trying to communicate those were…dark times

Do y'all remember when they finally gave us direct messages and instead of doing it normally, they gave it to a few people at a time and we had to infect each other with it like a virus

remember when any post with more than like 6 people talking was unreadably smushed except for the last few additions remember when any post of over 500 characters became a link back to op’s blog readmore style remember when video and audio posts had about a 10% chance of working when you click play

As a recent user I love finding out shit like this from older users. What the fuck guys???? Why were you USING IT AT ALL?!??

believe it or not, we liked that more

its worth noting that immediately after these updates that made everything better, we were all angry about it

The thing about Spock being hot is that he isn't framed like he's supposed to be. Yknow? Like the cinematography and the way other characters interact with him doesn't typically imply you the viewer are meant to desire him carnally. So it can be easy to forget for a moment until it just kind of suddenly hits you. And "wait Spock's hot" is perhaps one of the least original thoughts one can have but nevertheless I'm kind of continuously having this revelation

Furthermore he's like. Statuesque. He has a certain poise and grace about him rarely found in men. He's cunty but understated. She ate and she chewed with her mouth closed. You know what I mean? And the whole point of him is that "carnal desire" is extremely off limits. You CANNOT fuck him. Unless.......? And this is the repressed erotic intrigue that invented fanfiction

I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping

Also STOP VAPING INDOORS AROUND OTHER PEOPLE. Holy shit, if you're gonna wreck your lungs at least give me the option not to wreck mine.

yeah okay ill reblog that

Please I’m begging yall as an asthmatic, your fruit-flavored vapor will still give people around you who are smoke-sensitive attacks. So will weed. Don’t do it inside; if you’re at a bus stop or something try to not stand right next to people or move downwind of them if you can.

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek