The girl who fangirls

1. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod you’re so hot

2. Early infatuation

3. I love you so much, I hope we can be like this forever :)

4. I’m so obsessed with you, it probably isn’t healthy but I’m not thinking about that now because I just want you here

5. iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou I’ve never felt like this before and this will last forever (real, trust)

6. He’s mine. Back off.

7. While this is wonderful and I love you a lot, I feel like I’ve stopped being my own person and that’s maybe Not Good

8. So, funny story, turns out being in love does not magically cure depression

9. Please reassure me you love me as much as I love you

10. Oh, so love can actually make depression worse. This is really Not Good (ft Robert Smith)

11. You noticed. You weren’t supposed to notice. Don’t leave. I can be happier. You’re not bad for me, I promise. Please don’t leave. Please love me less so you don’t have to leave.

12. So. I’m single now.

...okay the crayon was me mistyping WEEKS ago but I use so few emoji its just...still there

...okay the crayon was me mistyping WEEKS ago but I use so few emoji its just...still there

We were children looking up to our Shepherd. We believed our little world was perfect and nothing bad could happen to us. Then something rocks our world and we must take the bad, difficult things and learn to cope. We had the realization that not everyone has the best intentions for us. We learned that grief can be a powerful tool, that pain doesn’t need to stop us from doing what is right. We learned we couldn’t do everything on our own, and that everyone has value if you let them play to their strengths. That first impressions and bias can lead us down the wrong path. That religion is full of contradictions but faith rooted in love, justice and acceptance can offer peace.

so she hides her darkness under the guise of being liked. her voice is honey sweet even when blood drips from her mouth. she makes sure to swallow it. every drop of it. yet madness lingers on in the crinkles of the clothes she folds, the rumbling of her belly, the sound of her footsteps. the threat of impending doom prevails.