Too Old

We let winter take her toll Rang in the new year With a call for love and health Words still in my mouth A new disease; locks and keys The loss of what little of our wealth And mental health deteriorates My friend took some pills to seal her fate

They stormed the capital by force Hunkered down and sheltered in place Face to face Grief is shown by those who can’t accept Our own ineptitude; The loss of our loved ones on the way We can’t replace The ninety-thousand souls we’ve lost to date We can’t replace The five thousand souls in my home state

The quiet scream at no one

A weak and feeble desire to feel relevant

To be

I’ve been brooding all winter over the same shit I was brooding over last winter

And the winter before

And the one before

The bitterness I steeped in my coffee

The shame I breathed in my lungs

I’m proud to report I’m thankful

In this moment I have all I need

“What an interesting date,” he smiled, “just sign here and you’ll be all set.”

Sound flows through the atrium

Tunes of reminiscence

Through ivories I see the cost

Is more than mere persistence

Years beyond yet still behind

I cannot close the distance

Like motifs of unfinished tasks

And unheeded instruction

She plays the soundtrack to my life

I feel like I spent my whole life reaching up to be respected and loved by my older siblings.

And now I can have 10 hour talk with any of them and my ideas are taken seriously.

Buy I can’t reach down to my young siblings. Nothing I say gets through to them. I have no idea what went so horribly wrong.