MeLlamo Tajj.Bello

We fail to develop true intimacy with one another so often because we dismiss each other’s emotions. We disapprove of each other’s feelings. We tell each other how they should feel. We have no patience with the emotional needs of others. We see emotions and feelings as weakness. We call people who display emotions “too sensitive”.

Regardless of whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship, feelings and emotions are the heart, are the core, of that particular relationship if it is suppose to be a meaningful relationship instead of a surface-y one. Without a healthy and deep emotional connection, and an emotional feeling relationship, that relationship is in fact not a relationship, it’s a social arrangement.

Intimacy is not about sex. It is true that sex can be the byproduct of intimacy, but intimacy is about being seen for who you really are, and seeing someone for who they really are. It’s me being able to take the totality of truth being who I am to you, and being received by you, for the truth of who I am without you needing to change me. It’s you being able to bring the truth of who you are to me, and me being able to see and receive the truth of who you are without me trying to change and manipulate you.

The word intimacy can be broken down to “into-me-see”. The most important part about intimacy is about being able to see into one another, to see into one’s truth, and one’s truth is represented in feeling and emotion. Feelings and emotions are the absolute reality and core of your experience and so it is the very most important part of intimacy.

Favorite actresses: Angela Bassett

—