Thereâs nothing quite like the terror of waking up and being unable to remember a single thing about yourself, every strained attempt to remember only resulting in you smacking into the steel vault door thatâs suddenly right where your cherished childhood memories used to be. Or, where they probably were, anyway. I wouldnât have known, because I couldnât fucking remember. All I could feel was this cold pit in my stomach, the sensation that Iâd collapsed in on myself like a black hole, that I wasnât anyone anymore.
Yep, thereâs really nothing quite like it. Which is why thereâs also the godforsaken sequel: being molded into someoneâsomethingâyouâre absolutely certain you donât want to be.
âYour pain is what makes you useful,â the trainer intoned. âSay it.â
âFuck youââ The cattle prod jabbed into my stomach. My arms yanked at the manacles suspending me, instinct driving me to protect my torso. That was the only thing driving me, I thought numbly, my jaw clenched against the pain. Instinct. I didnât have much else.
When it stopped, I sagged in my chains with my arms pulling at their sockets, and a bead of sweat ran down my nose and plopped to the tile floor, right in front of the trainerâs boots. The tip of her cattle prod, still warm, pushed up under my chin. I flinched upright. She let out a dry chuckle. âI could do this all day, pet. But I doubt you can.â
âUnderestimate me again,â I muttered, âI dare yââ
A short, sharp zap to the sternum shut me up, at least for a second. âYour pain,â she repeated, seizing my chin in her hand, âis what makes you useful. Say it three times, and this session ends, alright? Thatâs a pretty clear win condition. Youâd have to be stupid not to accept it.â
I loosened my jaw, made like I was going slack with defeat. âM ⌠my âŚâ
Her fingers slipped on my sweaty skin as her grip tightened. âYeah?â she prompted.
I jerked my head to the side, and my teeth closed around flesh and bone. I tasted blood before she screeched, and before she had the presence of mind to electrocute me again. The prod drove deep into my stomach, but I clenched my jaw down harder against the pain, against the screaming in my ear. Youâre gonna hurt with me, motherfucker.
Finally I couldnât stand the electricity anymore. I released her mangled fingers, and her blood dripped down my chin. She reared back and didnât waste a second in driving the cattle prod into my stomach, zapping me so long it began to burn. âYou son of a bitch!â Her boot drove into my leg, and as it buckled, the prod dragged up my chest.
I was seeing stars by the time it ended, colors swirling in my vision like they were trying to brighten up the plain tile of my cell. The trainer hissed in pain, flexing her injured hand. I couldnât see how good Iâd gotten her, but I could still taste her blood, so I had to assume it was pretty goddamn good. I spit some of it out by her boots.
She just glared at me. âYou donât eat until you say your affirmations, you goddamn brat. Enjoy starving.â She hooked her cattle prod into her belt and left, slamming the door behind her.
I wiped my face on my shoulder and grinned after her. Facility: zero. Me: one.
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Dedicated to @b0amagination for giving me the idea!
Content warnings: marital abuse, blood, knives, biting, references to past whump, weirdly BDSM kind of vibes (non-sexual)
Beckett shuffled through the door as if there were a gun nestled between his shoulder blades. He gingerly placed the groceries in their paper bags on the bench, and he slipped off his shoes so as not to get dirt on the ornately patterned carpet in the foyer. He began to shrug off his coat.
âBeckett, my love?â
He started as though heâd stepped on a needle. His coat slipped off his stiff shoulders and pooled around his wrists. âYes, dear?â
Joy came inside, delicately stepping out of her crimson ankle boots. The door shut with an audible click. âWhy,â she asked, âdid you tell that sweet, sweet lady at the bakery that weâre not married?â
Beckettâs throat seemed to momentarily seize. His shoulders rose as he forced breath into his lungs. âI-Iâm sorry, darling. I forgot.â
âYou ⌠forgot?â There was a soft swish of fabric as Joy removed her peacoat and set it on its hook. Beckett flinched as she took the back of his jacket and removed it from his limp arms. âI threw us a big, beautiful white wedding,â she whispered against the back of his neck, âmoved us into this gorgeous little house ⌠and you just forgot?â
It had been a slip of the tongueâa reflex, like flinching away from a hot stove. So, how long have you two lovebirds been married? Oh, weâre notâ Heâd bitten his tongue before he could finish. Joy had laughed, squeezing his side. My silly husband, sheâd said, pecking him on the cheek. Weâve always been best friends. He just forgets sometimes that weâve finally tied the knot. The older lady behind the counter had cooed about how romantic that was, how Beckett looked just like her husband did when he was younger. Beckett had let Joy do the talking; she was good at that.
Now, he sipped air as though from a tiny straw. âIâm sorry, darling.â
She pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. Her lipstick left a dark brand. âYou will be,â she murmured. âTake the groceries to the kitchen.â
Mechanically, Beckett gathered the bags and did as he was told. Down the hall, in the immaculately arranged kitchen, he placed the fruit in the bowl atop the granite island and laid the baguettes beside it. The carton of milk, the greens, the chicken all went in the refrigerator, each item in its place. Meanwhile, Joy opened the long, thin drawer to the right of the fridge. Beckett kept his eyes up when he closed the door, moving to fold the paper bags into neat, flattened squares, stowing them away in the recycling bin. Then there was nothing left to do. Beckett straightened up, his back to Joy. His throat bobbed as her drawer glided shut with a quiet thud.
âTake off your shirt.â
His breathing stuttered. âJoy, p-pleaseââ
Something metallic dragged across the countertop behind him. âI said, take off your fucking shirt, Becky.â
He unfastened the buttons with trembling fingers, one by one, from his throat to his belt buckle. He audibly drew in a breath before he untucked the hem and pulled his arms through the sleeves. He removed his undershirt more quickly, as though plunging into cold water. His biceps were littered with straight, methodical lines. Some were faded; some new. Carved into his left shoulder blade, just beginning to heal, was a heart.
The silence behind him swelled. Abruptly, he whirled around. Joy was leaning against the kitchen island, her eyes roving over his exposed form as she stroked a finger down the blade of a short, sharp knife. She met his gaze, expression unreadable. She pulled out a stool at the island. âSit.â
He sat, his spine straight against the low-backed seat. Joy stroked a hand over his bare shoulders, running her thumb over the heart-shaped scar on his back, and he shivered. âDoes this mean nothing to you?â Her lips brushed his ear. âDo you know who you are?â
He flinched, his hands curling against the granite. He pressed them flat to still their trembling. âIâm Mr. Joy Clemence,â he murmured.
âYouâre my husband,â she said pointedly.
He swallowed, then repeated, âIâm your husband.â
âLean forward. Say it again.â
Beckett pressed his forehead to the countertop, his breath fogging the cold granite. âIâm your h-husband.â
The knife bit into his back, neatly parting his barely-healed scar. âAgain.â
He breathed through his clenched teeth. âIâm your husband. Iâm your husband. Iâm your ⌠husband.â His voice pitched up with pain. A stream of blood spilled down his ribcage and dripped onto the counter as the knife slid down. âJoy, pleaseââ
âDid I tell you to beg?â she asked mirthlessly.
He breathed out. âNo, maâam.â
Her teeth nipped his ear, her breath hot on his skin. âWhat are you?â
âYour husband,â he said, his hands curled into fists, âIâm your husband, Iâm your husband âŚâ He stammered through the mantra as the knife traced over the scar, slow and painful, splitting it open with a neat precision. He didnât stop until the blade lifted, then clattered to the countertop.
He winced at the noise, then at the sudden pressure of Joyâs teeth on the shell of his ear. Her lipstick smeared his earlobe as she pulled back, ever so slightly. âYou are my husband,â she whispered fiercely. âAnd donât forget it again.â
He went boneless, tears and blood and sweat pooling beneath him on the counter. âYes, dear,â he murmured.
-
Tagging some people I thought might be interested; LMK if you wanna remain on the tag list! @b0amagination @brutal-nemesis @aviandaleks (and anyone else who wants to be added, also let me know!)
Content warnings: team whump, noncon touch, taunting, recapture
âDo your friends here even know the real you?â
Roux stands with their feet apart, chin up, tracking Ambrose only with their eyes as he circles them. They try to look annoyed, unworried. Theyâre not entirely sure theyâre succeedingânot with those henchmen restraining their team, the group on their knees behind Roux.
âYou hide behind a false veneer of flippancy and stoicism,â Ambrose continues, pacing unhurriedly, âbut have you told them how you used to scream at me? How you used to cry for me?â
Roux waits for a controlled beat of silence before flatly asking, âYou got a point here, Lacrosse?â
He flashes them a humorless smile. âIâm just curious, mon cher. You say these are your friendsââ
âMy team,â Roux corrects.
ââbut how much have you told them about me?â Ambroseâs voice slows to the languid pace of molasses as he passes behind them. âI made you. Everything that you are is my accomplishment.â
âThatâs nââ A finger drags across his shoulder blades. He flinches forward with a vocalized grimace.
âI never quite trained that reaction out of you,â Ambrose muses, sounding pleased. âAh, well, I still think itâs cute.â
A furious burn rises to Rouxâs cheeks. âAll you are,â they growl, straightening up, âis an egomaniacal fucking sadist. Youâre not responsible for any part of me.â
Ambrose sighs. âPerhaps youâre right. Youâve changed since you left me.â His hands glide over Rouxâs shoulders to squeeze their biceps like a straitjacket. They try to twist away, but his voice in their ear makes them freeze: âI think itâs time for you to come home, mon petit Roux.â
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Tag list: @theelvishcowgirl @aviandaleks @gala1981 @laniakea0100 @spectral-whumpy-writer @whatwasmyprevioususername
Somethingâs tickling Rouxâs face. He scrunches his nose and rubs his cheek against the pillow, but it doesnât go away. He brings his hand up to scratch the itch ⌠and it comes into contact with something warm and solid. âGood morning, sweetheart,â Ambrose chirps.
Rouxâs eyes fly open as he shoves the sheets off his legs and scrambles away. âWhat the fuck? What the goddamn hell do you think youâre doing?â they snarl at their host, their back hitting the dresser so hard it rattles.
Ambrose calmly holds up his hands in surrender, an amused smirk on his face. âI didnât mean to startle you, darling.â
âYou didnâtââ Roux cuts himself off and growls in frustration. He pivots abruptly towards the guest bathroom. âWhat the fuck ever,â he mutters, slamming the door behind him.
Day 50
âGood morning, mon chou.â
Roux glares at him with one bleary, cracked-open eye. âDidnât I tell you to cut this shit out?â
Ambrose smiles at them fondly, perched just beside their pillow. âOh, but youâre so cute when youâre sleepy.â He ruffles their hair.
They jerk their head away and roll over, pulling the sheets up around their shoulders. âFuck off,â they mutter.
Ambroseâs hand finds its way back to their fiery curls. They huff out a deep sigh and shut their eyes again.
Day 500
âStill asleep?â
Roux responds with only a muffled grunt. Carefully, Ambrose lifts their head in both hands and transfers them from the pillow onto his lap. They barely flutter an eyelash. âArenât you just precious?â Ambrose coos, petting their hair.
Rouxâs eyebrow twitches. âStill. Sleeping,â he grumbles.
âOf course, my darling,â Ambrose whispers, and then falls blissfully silent. Roux presses their cheek to his thigh and dozes back off.
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Tag list: @theelvishcowgirl @aviandaleks @gala1981 @laniakea0100 @spectral-whumpy-writer @whatwasmyprevioususername
The Easter egg hunt was perfect. Beckett had been awake since four in the morning filling the little plastic eggs, placing each one in a kind-of-obvious hiding spot, but god dammit, Ellieâs fourth Easter was going to be perfect.
Joy trailed behind, yawning, as Beckett led Ellie (still in her bunny-printed pajamas) down the hallway. âOhh, wow, I think the Easter Bunnyâs been here,â Beckett whispered conspiratorially, leading Ellie by the hand into the living room. âCome on, Ellie, letâs see what he left for you!â Joy slumped off towards the kitchen, and Beckett was glad to take over parenting duties by himself.
In the living room, Ellieâs basket was laid out on the couch, a white wicker one that was a little too heavy for a three-year-old. It had a pale pink liner with Noelle embroidered on the front; Joy had thought it was cute. Beckettâs own addition to the spread was three pairs of bunny ear headbands: a child-sized pink one, a larger blue one, and a larger pink one (not that Joy would deign to wear hers).
Ellie gasped and rushed forward. âBunny!â She grabbed the blue pair and immediately put them on. The oversized headband began sliding off her head, but she just pushed it back in place.
Beckett laughed, kneeling down to her level. âYou wanna help me put mine on? Yeah?â She grabbed the little pink pair, the ones that had been meant for her. Amused, Beckett bowed his head as if he was about to be knighted, and Ellie squeezed the furry pink headband over his head. He straightened up. âHow do I look? Huh?â He shook his head so that the ears wiggled.
Ellie giggled. She still had one hand up to hold her bunny ears in place. âSilly!â
âHappy Easter, Noelle!â Joy appeared in the doorway, slightly more awake with her coffee in hand. She crossed over to the couch. âDid Daddy show youâ?â Her smile dropped.
Beckett went still, his mind beginning to race. What was wrong this time? Did he put up the decorations wrong? Use a non-recycled filler for the grass in the Easter basket? He watched Joy glance between him and Ellie a few times. Finally, her gaze landed on him, a strained grin on her face. âArenât you a silly rabbit.â She booped his nose and yoinked the child-sized bunny ears off his head. âDid Daddy forget that pink is for girls and blue is for boys?â
Joy then took the oversized, still-falling-off baby blue rabbit ears off Ellieâs head. Ellie reached for them. âNoooo!â she protested. âMine, Mommy!â
âNo, itâs okay,â Joy soothed, âbecause you get this one instead.â She gingerly placed them on Ellieâs head, smoothing back her wispy blond hair. Ellie stuck her lip out in a pout, but the crease between Joyâs eyebrows had smoothed over. âAww, youâre okay, baby girl. Itâs just that Daddy was being silly and forgot which ones were yours.â
In an effort to seem complacent, Beckett put on the blue ears, even though Ellie was still staring mournfully at them. âHey, câmon, Ellie-belly,â he said, grabbing the basket off the couch. âWeâre gonna go on an Easter egg hunt! Because the Easter Bunny left little treats allll over the house, and weâre going to go find them. I think there might be one over thereâdo you see it?â
He pointed at the trio of green and purple eggs heâd left right under the TV, and Ellieâs head swiveled. After a moment of hesitation, she went toddling after them. He let out a little exhale, glad her Easter wasnât ruined over some bunny ears.
Joyâs hand landed on the back of his neck. âThat,â she said, and then paused weightily, âwent well. But I wish you wouldnât forget the rules.â
A cold sweat crept beneath his shirt. âShe just put them on,â he muttered. âIâI thought it was cute.â
Joy squeezed his tense muscles, then released her grip on him. âWell, donât let her choose next time.â
Beckett frowned, watching Ellie gather up as many little plastic eggs as she could hold in her arms (which wasnât very many). She should be able to choose whatever color bunny ears she wanted. She should have the whole color wheel at her disposal. Beckett knew, roughly, what had happened to Joy to make her think this way, but he still couldn't imagine why she had to put all of that on her three-year-old daughter. âRight,â he said, still looking at Ellie. âOkay.â
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Tag List: @b0amagination @brutal-nemesis @aviandaleks @whump-queen @whatwasmyprevioususername @bloody-boyfailure @paperprinxe @galactic-worm
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Rouxâs feet are kicked up and resting on the arm of the sofa. They glance up from their hunting magazine and flick a caustic look over at Ambrose. âIâm not your fuckinâ pet.â
Ambrose sighs and props his elbow on his polished wood desk. âItâs just an expression, darling.â
They roll their eyes and raise the magazine up in front of their face, hiding Ambrose from view. There; much better. âNot your darling, either.â
Again, Ambrose sighs, muttering to himself in French. His leather executive chair creaks as he stands. Suddenly, the magazine is torn from Rouxâs grasp, and Ambrose grabs their chin. âI know you heard me say to come here, pet,â he murmurs, leaning in close to their startled face. âWhen I tell you to do something, you do it. Comprendre?â
Rouxâs nails sink into his wrist. âGet your hands off me,â they snarl.
His grip tightens. âI said, do you understand?â
Their chin jerks out of his grasp. âFuck you!â
The slap is immediate, and the blush across Rouxâs cheek follows soon after, creeping in like a dog with its tail between its legs. Their head remains frozen to the side. Ambrose tsks softly. âYouâre acting incredibly ungrateful. And after everything Iâve done for you âŚâ
Roux exhales through their nose, slowly. âIâm sorry, Ambrose.â
His grip on their jaw is replaced with a palm cupping their hot cheek. âI forgive you, mon chou.â He smiles, more with his eyes than his mouth.âNow move over.â
They bring their feet down, and Ambrose sits next to them, his thigh pressed against theirs. Roux glances uncomfortably at the proximity, but stays silent. âHunting, hmm?â says Ambrose, picking up the magazine heâd discarded. âI could teach you to hunt. My father used to take me, you know.â
Roux snorts, leaning against the arm of the sofa to casually increase the distance between himself and Ambrose. âYou and me, in the woods, with a bunch of guns? Sounds like a great idea.â
Ambrose throws an arm around Rouxâs shoulders and smiles. He doesnât see the face Roux makes, which is probably for the best. âIâm glad you think so, darling.â
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Tag list: @theelvishcowgirl @aviandaleks @gala1981 @laniakea0100 @spectral-whumpy-writer @whatwasmyprevioususername
This is four years late and probably not what you expected, but here you go!
Content warnings: medical setting, anesthesia, precursor to surgery, creepy whumper
â⌠Alright, now put your arms out like a T for me. We need to secure you to the table for the procedure, but donât you worry, youâll be out like a light in just a few minutes here, okay?â
Roux, lying there in a scratchy hospital gown, opens their mouth to respondâbut before they can speak, Ambrose jumps in, squeezing their non-IVed hand. âThatâs right, sweetheart. Just breathe for us; youâre doing so well.â
Roux grits their teeth and barely refrains from rolling their eyes. Ambrose shouldnât even be in the operating room, but he said something to the surgeon about them having anxiety,and that apparently gave him a free pass to tag along and hold their handâno matter how unwanted he may be.
They have half a mind to kick him out themself. They want to, and they wouldâexcept heâs the one who wrote the check to the surgeon, and he could just as easily yoink them off the operating table and drag them back to his opulent little penthouse. Roux isnât going to breathe a word to him until they wake up tiddy-free. Then theyâll go back to cussing out Ambrose.
A nurse fiddles with the IV line. Ambrose strokes their hair, fucking up their curls like usual. Cold anesthesia drips into their hand, and a plastic, beachball-smelling mask descends over their face. âOkay,â says the nurse, âtake some deep breaths for us, hon.â
Roux inhales deeply. Thisâll be over soon, they think to themself, exhaling. Four to six week recovery ⌠Inhale. And then Iâll have one less reason to hang around Ambrose. Exhale.
Roux feels like heâs sinking right through the table. The fluorescent lights above are getting farther and farther away. The nurses chatting with Ambrose about what a good boyfriend he is (Ambrose doesnât correct them) sound fuzzier and fuzzier. Roux is going under. Thereâs nothing more standing between him and top surgery.
This is exciting. He should be excited.
But his darkening vision can orbit only around Ambrose, his smile bright and constant beneath lights of the operating room.
Lipstick, saliva, apply pressure, mouth noises, hold for tenâno, she said twelve this timeâand break away slowly, with a loving gaze, and fix her hair gentlyâ
Joy frowned and tilted her head, leaning back into Beckettâs embrace. âDidnât feel passionate enough,â she decided. âKiss me again. Like you mean it.â
Beckett deflated, but only on the inside; she didnât like it when he showed it on his face. âCan I please have a break first?â He tried not to sound like he was begging.
She smirked and leaned in with a hand on his chest. âWhat, are you tired of kissing your fiancĂŠe?â she teased. âYou donât want our wedding kiss to be absolutely perfect?â He stumbled back, and she caught him around the waist and steadied him, clearly amused.
âO-Of course I do,â he said placatingly. She wasnât angry with him yet, but that could always change; best to act in a placating manner anyway. âI just want to sit down for a minute, thatâs all.â
âAlright, then.â She hooked her fingers in his shirt collar and dragged him over to the bed, then pushed him down and straddled his lap with an evil grin. âLetâs sit, then.â
His face flushed as he leaned back. âJoy âŚâ
She used his shirt collar to reel him back in. âBeckyyy,â she mocked his tone. âYou havenât kissed anyone since high school. You have a lot to make up for before the wedding. So pucker up.â She grabbed his jaw, forcing his lips into a fishlike pout. âAnd look happy about it, for goodnessâ sake. Youâre getting married!â
He gave her a weary stare. His mouth felt vaguely damp and waxy with her lipstick; his feet hurt from standing across from her with perfect wedding posture for much longer than the real ceremony would go on. He knew she wouldnât let him off the hook until he perfected the kiss, but he had no idea how to do that. Kissing was just kissing. There wasnât anything special about it, was there? Except for that mystical âchemistryâ people talked about, but he and Joy would never have that, so what was she even looking for here?
Joy laughed at his expression and patted his cheek, so rough it was almost a slap. âYouâre adorable, Becky, but you really need to become a better actor.â
Then why didnât you get engaged to an actor, he didnât say. Instead, just wanting to get this over with, he surged forward and kissed her as hard as he could.
It was a fumble from the start. He landed to the side of her lips and had to turn his head awkwardly; he felt his teeth scrape her skin. He didnât know what to do with his mouth, so he just kind of started moving it and hoped it would work out. He felt disgustedâboth at the act and at himself for making such an impulsive, shoddy effort at ending this. Joy would punish him for sure.
To his surprise, he felt her grin. She latched onto his lower lip with her teeth, sucking painfully hard. His heartbeat stuttered; he felt like the side character about to be massacred in a horror movie. Before he could escape, she grabbed the back of his head and laced her fingers through his hair, trapping him. She moved her lips against his, and without anywhere to run to, he resigned himself to mirroring her movements, revulsion churning his stomach.
After much longer than twelve seconds, she broke away, breathless and grinning. She shoved him back against the bed and pinned him by the shoulders, her eyes sparkling. He stared up at her with abject horror as she whispered, âAgain.â
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Tag List: @b0amagination @brutal-nemesis @aviandaleks @whump-queen @whatwasmyprevioususername @bloody-boyfailure @paperprinxe