#zeynsdiary

pairing: choi mujin x fem!reader

wc: 3k

warnings: kidnapping, fight scene, torturing, mention of blood and wounds, burning reader’s skin (idk how to word it better), implied past intimate scene (type of), sexual tension

author’s note: sooo this is my first post after a while of not writing anything so you can think of it as a warm up and if you enjoyed this part make sure to check my masterlist. There is no other right now (lol) but I hope there will be :) And thank you for giving a chance to my fic. Love youu

Ropes tight around ankles. You are upside down and the whole world is spinning. In the middle of nowhere with no possible contact with the organization.

I am fucked, badly. You thought.

No ending tortures just to make you speak -even the thought was ridiculous honestly-.

Questions about Mujin, Dongcheon, the business. All the stuff they had nothing to do with.

It all started a lot prettier.

First try, sweet offers and kind talks. "Tell us this and you will never have to worry about money ever again." lame, you thought. After the very first time that they offered you money all you could think about was how much you would give away to see Mujin’s reaction. You could see his handsome face in the back of your eyes. His intimidating gaze, a cigarette between his lips as a side slightly raises up in a mocking way. Only a fool would believe that money could buy loyalty. That it would lead them to success, power. Mujin knew better.

Then they took a stupid guess. Thinking you were not accepting their offer cause you were scared. "Don’t be afraid of Mujin, we'll protect you." they said. Little did they also knew they didn't stand a chance. They liked to think that they could.

Sooner or later they realized that they were going nowhere with offers. Then they decided on something else. Second try, threat.

Nothing did the job.

You wondered how many days had been since the first knife blow that drew your belly red with your own blood, now the whole fucking room was covered of it, let alone your bruised body. You kept blaming yourself , how did you not realize that their loyalty no longer served for Mujin. How you fell right into their traps all alone. A part of you didn't even wanted to be saved. Even the imagination of Mujin’s disappointed eyes hurt you more than any wound on your body. You were not ready to face the real one. Your body was getting weaker every passing day with the lack of food and the countless hits you endured every few hours. You did not have much time, you could feel it.

The sudden bucket of water pouring down your body woke you from your unconscious state. The man with the ugly smile stood before you upside down. His hand grabbing a fist full of your hair to bring your face closer as he smiled. "Wakey wakey, dollface." He was unnesecarelly loud. "Do you feel like talking today?" he asked. His smile grew like he was happy by your lack of response. It used to piss him off. You frowned, your guts telling you to open your eyes to see what he was up to. So you forced them to and realized the mini red gas cylinder. "You know dollface, I've been thinking lately what should I do to you next. Then guess what, I saw this." his voice was sadistic as he pointed to the red gas cylinder. "And I had an idea. I thought I should get rid of that tatto and maybe then you would start acting less like a fucking loyal dog, huh? You'll be less of being like one of them and who knows maybe you would use that pretty little mouth of yours and give me what I want. Huh, how about that?" he asked you as if he was talking about weather.

You sick bastard, you wanted to say only if you had the energy for it. But even though you gave him no reaction, the thought of your tatto getting ruined made your heart ache. The tatto was not just a symbol, it was a reminder. A reminder that you belonged to somewhere. That you were not alone.

He walked to the red cylinder with a thong in his hand, he was holding a round metal piece in the size of your tatto with it. He heated the metal as a manicing smile formed on his lips, he was enjoying this. When he was satisfied with its temperature, he walked back to you. "Are you ready dollface?" It wasn't really a question. Without giving you any time to get ready for the incoming pain he pressed the hot metal on your chest. And he finally made you scream out of pain. Only for a moment, though. You quickly studied yourself and kept all of it in. He didn't like it, he wanted to hear that scream again and again. After reheating the metal he came back. He pressed it on your chest without waiting a second. "Anything that comes to your mind that you'd like to share with me?" his sarcasm making your ears bleed. You couldn't held back your screams and you cursed yourself for giving him the satisfaction.

Then something happened, you heard a door breaking. After that, the chaos followed. You would recognized the voice of blade cutting through someone's skin at anytime and now wasn't the exception.

The organization will protect you.

Now it was your time to smirk at his face. To enjoy every bit of his smirk fading and leaving its place to panic. He threw the thong away and rushed to the side to release the knot on the rope and slowly lowered you to the floor. He grabbed one of the knifes he's been using on you and released your ankles but wrists remained tied together. He was aware how little time he had and he was panicking. He dragged you to your feet and pressed your back on his front with a knife pressed to your neck. You couldn't move a muscle while he waited facing the door behind you, waiting for the storm to come in. You didn't have the energy.

Eyelids too heavy and mind too dizzy. But every inch of your body felt his presence. No aura can compete, no traitor can no longer breathe.

You forced your eyes open, every bit of you were craving to feel his eyes. But also afraid of what you might find in there.

Mujin stood still and took in what was in front of him. A table full of all type of tools, most of them tinted red, ruined clothes next to it. Your blood all over the place, all wounds and bruises on display. His eyes finally landed on yours.

There he was, looking way too perfect right in front of you. Looking as presentable as ever while you stood in your underwear's in front of all those man. Bruised and broken. You saw something in his eyes for a split second, an emotion. But what was it?

Sympathy? Disappointment? Or worse, pity? No, no. Please don't be pity.

You would be more ashamed by it more than all the gazes on your too bare skin. How ironic, isn’t it?

The man behind you tightened his grip, "Stay away. If I die, she dies." he was playing his last cards. There was no way out of this for him. He knew it too. You gulped and turn your eyes to Taeju. His eyes were burning with rage as he took in your state. You also took in his. Hair a little messy, some blood stains on his shirt. None of his own, you just knew it. The thought made your lips quirk a little. Of course none of it was his own. Then you saw the blade in his hand and you found your plan to get out of the mans grip. You and Taeju locked eyes, you knew he read right through your eyes but Taeju didn’t seem like he saw something that he liked there. You felt Mujin’s eyes too. He was well aware that you were up to something. You communicated well in silence. Both man trying to make you stop with their eyes. You kept your eyes on Taeju, ‘cause if you saw the order in his eyes you would have no other option but obey him. You did not want that.

Taeju shook his head in a slow motion. But gulped with acceptance when he saw the determination in your eyes.

You no longer could hear any of the threats the guy swayed around. Only kept your eyes locked with your partner as you waited for the right moment to make your move.

Just when the guy pointed his knife towards them instead of your neck, you collected every energy remaining in your system and get back in your fighting mode. You threw your head back in full force. The guy groaned in pain with the unexpected hit and released his grip around your body. With a swift motion you kicked the wrist of the hand that he held the knife with. As the knife hit the floor you also dropped to the very same cold floor and leave the rest to your partner. Taeju threw his knife right on the guys neck without waiting a second and rushed to your side.

Mujin was faster. The moment he read the situation he step further and catch you before you hit your head.

The drug lord, on his knees, what a sight.

Mujin quickly took his jacket off and wrapped it around your almost naked body. You were nearly unconscious in his arms. Couldn't keep your eyes open. Even the little bit healed wounds were open back with your kick. Your shallow breaths were a sign of your hurt.

You needed a professional's help, quick.

Without leaving a time for you to protest Mujin took your whole body in his hold and carried you with an arm on your back and the other under your legs. Your head resting on his chest. Your last words were: "I'm sorry."

…

Two weeks has passed while you were unconscious. Mujin brought you to the temple after your rescue. Made sure you were well taken care of and safe. He came to visit you every other day and ordered Taeju to do so at the days that he couldn't. You were his second subordinate, your health mattered. And that was the only reason of his worries and sleepless nights while you were nowhere to be found. He deceived himself into thinking that that was it.

He may or may not succeed it.

There were some things Mujin never welcomed in his organization nor his business. But the top of the list belonged to the traitors. He worked extra hard on the topic after the incident. Making sure the same thing never happens ever again. He blamed himself just like you blamed yourself.

I shouldn’t have send her there alone. I should have been more careful.

While Mujin was on his car, driving, you woke up. Slowly recognizing where you were, you knew the place. Your whole body aching, you slowly got up. Trying to remember what happened, you walked to the full length mirror. Carefully holding the sweater up to check on your wounds. It was hard to tell, all of it was covered with white bandages. Eyeing around the room, everything looked like how you remembered it. The only new thing was the folded clothes and a hair tie on the wooden desk, waiting for you. An idea of fresh shower became too hard to resist and you took the clothes and walked to the bathroom.

Warm water running through your body was relaxing with a little bit of pain. You took the wet bandages off to replace them after shower with fresh ones. You checked your wounds, they looked better than you last remembered but they still needed time to fully recover. You took your time in the shower and after shower. Re-bandaged yourself with the kit in the bathroom, brushed your hair with your fingers as best as you could. Then you decided to braid your hair like you do it all the time while you work. A part of your unique uniform, giving that you are the only female in the Dongcheon. While the men wears black suits with white shirt, your uniform was looking presentable, by all means. Mostly wearing black or white, hair usually braided and that was it.

You opened the door to get back in the room without knowing you had a visitor. Boss. Mujin.

He was dressed in all black with a long coat. His cigarette between his lips, a hand in the pocket. watching outside from the open doors. He turned his face to acknowledge you. You quickly bowed after you two made an eye contact.

You were tense and he was aware.

"Did I kept you waiting for too long?" You asked after a while to fill the silence.

He took a long drag of his cigarette before he answered, "Hmm."

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything back. Kept smoking his cigarette in silence. After standing next to the door for a whole minute watching him awkwardly, you decided to do your own business. You grabbed the hair tie on the desk and went back to the mirror. Your back turned to Mujin so that you could act like he wasn't there and unnerve your tensed muscles. Right when you saw your reflection in the mirror you realized that you did not wear the sweater on after bandaging yourself.

Nothing he hadn't seen multiple times before anyway but...

Another realization hit midway, you were right in front of him with only a bra on on your upper body and he didn't even glance.

You gulped, how should I feel about that? you thought.

You could have linger on that thought for way longer if you didn't get distracted by something else. Your tattoo. No, your ruined tatto. You held out your arms to braid your hair with your eyes focused on your chest. Something was hurting, either the cuts on your arms or your heart, you didn't know.

Like how you didn't know there was another pair of eyes on your body. Watching you secretly.

When you turned your back to him, Mujin started watching you more freely. He saw the look on your face and didn't like what it made him feel. He took long few steps and stopped right behind you. He held your hands in your hair and whispered, "Let me,". He slowly pulled the hair tie from your wrist, taking his time while doing so, enjoying the little contact you two were sharing.

You took a deep breath and obeyed. Letting your hands drop to your sides.

Mujin caught the rhythm change on your breathing and your muscles tensing. Your figure standing straighter, he was well aware of your body reacting to him. He braided your wet hair, his fingers touching your skin here and there. He caught on the shivers too.

You watched him through the mirror. Carefully working on your hair, gentle as ever. His scent mixed with cigarette filling your insides. You didn't realize how much you missed it until he was this close.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a low tone.

You decided to be honest, "Hurts but nothing unbearable."

Silence, again. It was your turn to fill it.

"I’m sorry." You apologized again. You both knew what it was for.

He remained silent, finishing the braid. Your head dropped down. You needed him to say something, anything. Every passing second tightened in your chest. Desperate for his reaction, to know what he was thinking of the situation, of you.

Mujin tied your hair and gently held your arms at both sides. He quietly smelled your hair. Loud enough to make you suspicious of it, not enough to be sure whether he did it or not.

You turned around, thinking about apologizing again. You were not ready to look in his eyes just yet but when he held your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up. You knew it was a silent command.

Look at me.

You obeyed, like always.

"It wasn’t your fault."

Right when you opened your mouth to say otherwise he closed it for you. "It wasn’t."

You looked in his dark eyes, you felt relieved. He didn't look disappointed in you, you could finally let out the breath you were holding in for so long.

Faces too close, lips inches apart. You wondered who you two were right now.

Boss and his subordinate? CEO and his servant? Muse and his admirer? Or just Mujin and Y/n?

While you were deep in thoughts Mujin’s hand snaked to the back of your neck from your chin. Holding you form as he pressed his lips to your temple. Too light to consider a kiss, but still there.

You held yourself back from clinging to his collar and beg for more. Afraid of losing the little contact you were having, so you stood still.

"I'm glad you are okay."

His voice was too low you thought you imagined it, almost. Without giving you time to process any part of this interaction, he stepped back. Putting distance between your bodies before it got risky. You were too stunned to speak, to move.

"You need to rest."

Translation: I’m leaving.

He took off a phone from his pocket and handed to you. "Contact us if you need anything."

In another word: you are staying here.

You simply nodded, there was no use of denying him.

You watched him leave through the door without another glance.

Boss and his subordinate. You decided on. But at least his.

warning: +18, mdni, smut, oral s*x (f receiving)

a/n: there goes my first ever smut guys pls give me some feedbacks cuz I’m tweaking rn and my request are open so feel free to send me anything you’d like to read and I’ll try my best and if you are interested here’s my masterlist. Love you all, sorry I took too much.

"My little ghost." his breath comes out rough and raspy. His nose mingling at the top of your head, inhaling your signature scent deep in his nostrils. As your nickname rolled off his lips in the most beautiful way ever, you found yourself smiling. His large hands on your arms, keeps you steady and close.

Your whole body ready to accept whatever he was willing to give. With his fingers that touched you way many times before, he lifts your face. "You did so good today." his voice so full of adoration and appreciation. He slowly leanes down, closer. "My girl deserves a reward."

As his other hand founds your neck, he kisses you patiently. It's not rushed, it’s deliberate.

You feel his tongue brushing against your lower lip, your mouth slightly opens like an invitation. His tongue welcomes it, meeting your own as they dance in the most pleasing way. As the kiss deepens so does the need in your stomach. Mujin feels it, he knows your body all too well it's almost embarrassing.

He lifts you up and make you sit on his desk. Your hands playing with his hair as you kiss him harder. He undresses you with ease. First your shirt then your bra leaves your body as your focus remains on his lips, you only realize their absence with the cool air hitting on your bare skin. After unzipping your pants his hands comes back up on your face. Palm pressing lightly against your jaw, he breaks the kiss. Before you whine, he speaks. "Lift your hips for me love."

You obey him, like you always do.

He sets you free from the bra that was hanging loosely on your arms and moves your pant down your legs along with your panties ‘till you sit in front of him completely naked. He must be satisfied, he hums.

The ten seconds of break hits hard, your lips collapsed with his in hunger now. You bite his lips when you feel his large hands grabbing your butt. Settling between your legs, he groans when he hears your moan between kisses.

It feels unfair. While all of your clothes laid on the floor, his stayed on. Perfectly ironed shirt tugged underneath his pants, and his belt matching with his shiny leather shoe, he looked unfazed. He looked perfect. Deep down you liked it, the feeling of his shirt against your skin only making you crave him more.

"Mujin," his name spilled from your lips like a plea.

His cold hand stole your temperature stroking your sides. He set your lips free and moved his kisses lower, to your jaw and down your neck. His favorite place to leave his love marks on. His mind already going to places, like imagining you showing up in a turtleneck tomorrow, ordering his men —your men around with his mark hidden under your shirt. How you would come up to him and report all professionally, like you weren't a moaning mess underneath him on his desk few hours ago. Even the thought was enough to make his dick twitch in his pants.

Another moan left your lips, "Please,". You felt his lips smirking against your skin, he quickly got back to work. "Patience sweetheart," he whispered against your skin, his breath fanning your collarbone, hot and ticklish.

His mouth closed around your hard nipple, sucking, you held onto him, both hand resting on his shoulders. Your view is his soft hair and his back that you wish was bare.

When his left hand comes up to cup your boob he twirls his tongue around your nipple, just making sure both of them gets the attention they deserves. It’s a whole new sensation. You threw your head back in pleasure while his kisses gets wetter and sloppier. Your hands moving from his shoulders to your sides on desk to help you arch your back more, so you can feel more of him.

He lets go of your nipple with a small 'pop', his hands cupping your cheeks. He gives you a long kiss, savoring your taste like you're his favorite flavor. "Lay down." he orders breathlessly.

His brows slightly furrowed, he watches you as you listen to him and lay down. His lips quirks, eyes stern and study on your body as he rolls up his sleeves. You salivate to the sight, the dim light of the room reflecting on his honey brown skin, thick veins on his arms shines to your eyes like they are highlighted. He settles in between your legs, looking like that, picture perfect. You two make eye contact, you see how his eyes got darker, you see the desire written all over his beautifully sculpted face. Your body thrills in excitement, you gulp.

He gets on his knees for you, not breaking the eye contact for a second. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he pulls you closer. His arms keeping you wide open for him. Your sweet scent too tempting, makes him wanna eat you 'till you squirm in pleasure and don't stop until you squirt all over him.

First, he places a kiss on your inner thigh. Weighing your reaction, he places another one, this time closer to where you want the most. You whine, loosing your patience with all the teasing. He smiles, obviously enjoying your neediness, then he finally decides to give you what you want.

Like a true gentlemen, he starts with a kiss. Right on your clit, he tastes you as he takes a deep breath of your sweet scent. Your back arches as Mujin’s wet tongue connects with your clit. He combined his mouth with his fingers, you thought you were going crazy. You held onto anything you can on the table to get your mind off his touch, otherwise you could've cum right there, embarrassingly soon.

Even though you tried, you stood no chance against him. He knew your body all too well. Knew where to touch you to make your toes curl, where to kiss you to make your body tremble with need beneath him, and how to make you feel so good you cry. Not so long after, you felt your insides burning, the pit in your stomach growing. You came with a loud moan of his name. Breathing heavily, you watched him smirk. The sight woke something inside you, something wild. Your eyes on him the entire time as he licked all your juices with pride. Knowing it was him who got you like this.

Without giving you much time to collect yourself, his hands were on your thighs again. Holding you from both side, preventing you from closing them. Cuz one time wasn't enough, he had to make a mess of you.

He played with your body the way he learned from all his previous times. Every time his name slipped out of your mouth in that moan-ish tone, it was his motivation to keep going, so he could hear it as many times as he can.

After your third orgasm you were completely wasted. Unable to move.

Mujin on the other hand were finally pleased with your current state.

He placed one last kiss on your clit before he got back on his feet. He watched your breath hitch with overstimulation as he took a few steps back.

He felt tipsy, cum drunk and looked at the view in front of him.

There you lay, all flushed and satisfied. He takes in the full picture. You on his desk and the city view at the back.

As you lay on his desk, heavy breathing with your sex covered in your cum mixed with his saliva, glistening so pretty under the dim light.

He lights up a cigarette and listen you coming down from your high. He tilts his head to admire his work.

He thinks, pretty view.

pairing: choi mujin x fem!reader

wc: 2,7k

warnings: explicit language

author’s note: i really appreciate all the likes, comments and reblogs, thank you all <3

Also check out my masterlist if you enjoy this. And let me know if you want to be tagged :)

Feeling of your red satin dress with the palm of your hands, you smiled as you looked at your reflection in the mirror.

You felt more feminine after so long, it felt good.

Taking your matte lipstick that matches perfectly with your dress out of your purse, you retouched your makeup to make it look fresh. Brushed your light curls with your fingers to harmonize your hair with the rest of your perfection.

It was one of those nights where you played the role of Mujin’s assistant. While Taeju played the bodyguard, you needed a different reason to explain why you always attended all these social events. Giving to your past, handling old guys with a large ego with nothing good to say was your species. So your job of being an assistant was a perfect fit for you to cover that you were actually there for extra protection. Also Donghoon being the partner/trusted man made it possible for all four of you to be all together.

After the event you guys would go to the little restaurant near the Dongcheon to drink together. Every mask that you four put on the daytime would slip away with the harmony of your laughters. Talking about the night until the conversation turns to the memories all of you shared through years. The feeling of looking into each other eyes, seeing their smiles, getting drunker by the each passing second, being comfortable, knowing everyone sitting on this table would trust them with their lives, you just loved every part of it.

Your gratitude towards Donghoon at its highest, you cherished moments like those cause they weren't often.

Tonight was no exception.

All of you arrived to the restaurant and sat on your usual seats. In the middle table, wall side sat Donghoon, next to him was Mujin’s seat. Taeju sat in front of Mujin and you in front of Donghoon. Like always. Mujin poured the first drinks and then you and Taeju took over as the youngest ones and subordinates. As one glass followed another, the moon slowly faded in the pitch black sky.

To be honest, you mostly watched Mujin the whole night. Your so called boss. It was a rare sight to see him so careless about his surroundings and just enjoying the present. You admired the love he had in his eyes for every one of you in this room and the way he so freely laughed to any joke -even to the unfunny ones- showing off his perfect teeth and the chuckle of his deep velvety voice.

You admired him.

How could you not?

You didn't know if they were aware of the thing you had with Mujin. How you two had been more. Many times even.

The answer was, yes. At least from the Donghoon’s perspective. He had no intention of letting any of you know the fact. You were a grown woman and Mujin was a good guy on his own way. Actually, he didn't really know much except for the looks he caught (like right now) and how you two always disappeared together. He was not a fan at first but then he realized how both of you would be at your most calm and happiest after disappearing so he just accepted it, quietly. He was good at keeping secrets anyway.

Donghoon slushed down his last glass, "That is enough for this old man. Taeju-ah, you'd give me a ride, right?". Taeju chuckled, "Yes, sunbaenim.” For the record, he was not that drunk but he felt like you two needed some alone time so he took care of it. He got up and patted Mujin’s back, "Mujin, you make sure she gets home safely, okay?".

Mujin nodded silently, both elder knew he didn't even need to say it.

Taeju winked at you before he helped Donghoon to his car. You watched them leave and then turned to Mujin. His eyes were already on you.

You blushed under his gaze. In another time you would never let him see it but in your drunk form, you had no idea about how well you hid it. "It’s just me and you now." you said while you poured another glass for both of you.

One more sip, he hummed, "Just me and you." his little smirk present on his face.

Such a simple gesture yet it left your mouth dry.

You gulped, you just knew tonight was going to be a long night.

. . .

When you had enough amount of alcohol in your system, well, you were such a yapper. Good for you, Mujin didn't mind it, he liked it even. That way he didn't have to speak and could just listen to you talk about anything and every thing without any prying eyes around. No need to hide any smile or a look that spoke louder than any poem.

He listened to your every word, paying attention to every little detail. Like how you would always start using your hands every time a story excited you or how your eyes lit up when you remember the little details about a story that probably only you remembered. And now he would too, obviously. He always remembered every little thing you shared with him even the ones like when you told him how you argued with a little boy cause he said you looked like a man in a suit and many more stories like that. He remembered all of them. But of course, he would never admit that he did.

For the sake of his mind, it was safer to keep it that way. No need for you to know how you warmed his heart every time you started speaking what is inside that pretty little head of yours with that perfect smile on your full lips.

Only you.

Even though it felt so nice to finally have you all to himself after a busy month at Dungcheon, your eyes told him that it was time to end this night.

Every good thing had its own closing.

. . .

Mujin parked the car in one swift movement and get out of it. You opened your own door and waited for him. Every time he held onto your open door with one hand as he extended the other for you was such a sight to see. You were already excited with the images rushing into your mind while you waited.

Tonight was no different. He came to your side to help you out, the sleeve of his shirt rolled up, leaving his veiny arms out for you to drool over. He held out his hand for you. You gladly took it and get out of the vehicle. You were a tiny bit drunk and he knew. Without even giving you a time to strip, he held you close.

Which you would, maybe for real maybe just so you could be closer to him for a little more. Your smile growing with the thought of mischief.

Your head resting on his chest while he helped you to get into the hotel with his arm wrapped around your waist. Carrying most of your weight so you could just smell his cologne with a stupid smile on your face without a single worry in your mind. Knowing he would take care of you, like he always did.

You were lucky he couldn't see the smile.

When you two get into the elevator you held onto the handle and stood on your own which was equal to the absence of his hands. But you didn't mind, this way you get to admire his beauty, his lean and formed body leaning against the opposite wall of the elevator. His woody cologne mixed with cigarette filled the air in such a short period of time, the familiarity loosened up your body.

You saw him reaching for the buttons. You stopped him in a rush with your hands, he was looking at you questioningly. You pushed the button for his penthouse while you looked right into his eyes. He looked back at you, knowing pretty well nothing behind those beautiful irises of yours were innocent. He sighed.

"What are you doing?" he asked as if he didn't know.

You eyed his figure from his eyes to his lips, then his chest and even lower. You stopped right when you see the bulk in his pants.

You smirked. Your gaze returned to his face. Mujin was aware of your new knowledge, he didn’t hide it. And of course he was not going to be shy about it.

He simply waited for your answer with his hands in his pockets.

"I’m your assistant tonight, remember?” You answered his question with another one.

He kept his daring gaze on your face.

You stepped closer to him and grabbed the hook of his belt to be upright. "I just wanna help you as your good little assistant." You said with an innocent expression as you batted your eyes.

Mujin sucked in a breath, he had a love-hate relationship with your secret power of getting under his skin.

You leaned into him more, your nose against his jaw and you on your tip toes.

He loved how needy you were for him right now. It drove him crazy in the inside.

Mujin put his thumb and index finger on your chin to lift your face. He looked right into your dark woods. "You want to help me?" his raspy voice made your insides tingle.

You nodded your head eagerly, "I do,”

He laughed at your face and reached for the button of your floor without breaking eye contact. You realized what he did with the click sound that came out of the button, but it was too late. He enjoyed it as a frown appeared on your eyebrows.

He played with you. How dare he?

"You are mean." you whispered.

He chuckled, "So I've heard."

You shook your head and retreated. You rested your head on the side wall, the tip of your heels were touching his shiny leather shoes that screamed luxury. You watched the little contact as he watched you.

You were kinda jealous though. How your shoe had permission to touch him but not you?

While you were deep into your very serious thoughts, you didn't notice it was your floor. He nudged your feet with his. You looked up at him and see the doors was open. His face told you there was no use in denying him right now. So you got out of the elevator, you let out a long sigh. As you walked through the corridor he followed you in silence.

Mujin was one step behind you, following you like a d- No! No. Jesus woman, what is going on with you? He would kill you if he could hear your thoughts.

You mentally stopped for a second. Would he?

Nah. He would not.

Your brain was functioning differently when you had even a small amount of alcohol in your blood circulation system. So it was the only reason why you had thoughts like that. In any other circumstances you would never. Literally, never. Mujin? A dog? No. A funny thought. But no.

You walked towards your room with all those silly drunk line of thinking. The sound of your heels echoing through the walls the same as his steps. You couldn't help but wonder. Was he looking at your ass?

You really should stop yourself from thinking. Anything. But you had no choice, the corridors were quiet, the inside of your brain was not. Hm, so if the corridors were louder than the inside of your brain, you wouldn't have been thinking much.

Mission number one: Kill the silence.

Mission number two: Get Mujin to fuck you.

When you reached your door -which was not a long way from the elevator- you turned around with your room card in your hand. You pointed behind the door with it, "Would you want to come inside?" you asked. It was just a kind offer. Like, it would be rude not to after he took care of you all night. Right?

Behind that stone face, Mujin was weighing pros and cons about coming in. You read the uncertainty from his body language, it was a good sign for you. It meant that he was considering it. So before giving him a room to reject, you tried some more. "Like I said, I'm your assistant today. " You looked up at him with your doe-looking eyes before continuing. “And as your good assistant I could give you some sodas to help you with your hangover tomorrow."

Mission number one: Kill the silence. Check.

He smirked, it was pretty obvious if someone were to have a bad hangover tomorrow, it wasn't him.

"It’s past midnight." he said. You are no longer my fake assistant, he meant.

You couldn't help but rolled your eyes. "I'm no Cinderella, Mujin. I can still pretend." You whispered the last sentence close to his face as if it was a secret.

No matter him looking down, you caught the smile he was trying to hide. With that, you knew he was going to keep following you as you opened the door and get inside. You stepped in your room and checked him from the top of your shoulder, trying not to make it obvious. Seeing him right behind you, a victory smile bloomed on your lips. As he closed the door you hang your bag and coat on the hanger.

You finally had him alone, all to yourself, but you still had one more mission.

You turned around and get behind him. Placing your hands on his shoulders, you asked for his permission. "Can I?" he gave you a small nod. Holding his long black coat from behind, you pulled it off his body. Touching his muscled arm through it, you felt his warmth as much as you can. While you hanged his coat next to yours he walked to your window and light up a cigarette.

You gulped. What were you going to do next?

While the tail of your long dress brushed the non-existing dust off your floor you walked up to Mujin. Slowly, step by step as he watched the city through the big window. You were nervous. When you stood next to him you felt the air tensing. Checking him from the corner of your eyes you realized him doing the same. Smiling softly, "Can I have some?" you asked.

Without waiting, he took the cigarette box out of his pocket. Opening the box with a swift hand movement, he held it out for you. You looked at the cigarettes then the one between his lips. It was clear as day which one you would prefer. With a quick decision you stole the stick from his lips. Your index and middle finger wrapped around it and you looked in his eyes as you inhaled your first blow. He lifted his left brow. You waited for him to give you a reaction, he didn't give you the satisfaction. Instead, he took another cigarette from the box, unbothered.

You wanted to roll your eyes, hold his arms and shake him. Scream into his face what is wrong with you?

Lighting up his cigarette, "Don't" he said.

A frown appeared on your face, "What?"

While turning his body to you he watched your expression. "I won’t touch you while you're in this state."

Your mouth felt dry. His words were too direct. There was an uneasy feeling in your stomach. But your guts kept telling you to push it. Push him to his limits where he can no larger reject.

After all, you knew. There is no state that you could be in where you would regret his touch on your skin. And oh, he knew it too.

Listening to your guts, you took a step forward. “Okay then,” you murmured. Your free hand finding his belt, “just let me touch you,” you test the waters as you felt him hardening with the back of your fingers.

"You're playing a dangerous game. Don't." he repeated, this time he looked right into your eyes.

"Dangerous? Isn't it what we do for living?" you argued. You weren't lying, were you?

You slowly got on your knees while looking up at him so submissively, right then and there it was over for him.

ᯓ★ Chronological Order

✮ the moodboard

✮ Addict, the beginning

✮ Impression

✮ Lust

✮ Bruised and broken

To Be Continued…

ᯓ★ Drabbles

✮ Mujin makes reader cum cuz she makes him soo proud

✮ Blame it on me

pairing: choi mujin x fem!reader

wc: 3,4k

warnings: explicit language, mention of blood and knives, killing

author’s note: surprisingly i have so much motivation for writing lately so if there is something you’d like to read send me requests babes

If you’d liked to check out my masterlist, you can find it here. And lmk if you want to be tagged :)

What. the. fuck. is this place.

If it wasn’t for the guy named Bangjae, no, Gangjae? Or whatever. If he didn’t come and rescue you after your first week, there is no way you would willingly stay in this shithole. Washing all this man’s dishes and cleaning their dirty shirt, wiping their tears off of any surface. Just ew. And only because you’re the newest, it was tough and thankfully not for long. You were kind of sad for the guy though, he had no idea what was on the door for him.

When Taeju first gave you a tour at Dongcheon, showing you your new room and telling you about your new tasks, all you could do was run back to Donghoon.

"Did you just get me out of a hell to throw me into another?"

Turns out your ‘new life’ wasn’t a decent job and normal lifestyle, it was anything but.

He chuckled if your temper was funny. "You didn’t like your room?" You just kept looking at his eyes, waiting for him to make it make sense about how this place was a better fit for you. "Y/n-ah, just give it a week or two. This place will grow in you." Was all he said.

So you did just that. You gave yourself time and put effort into working out, trying to get better with your skills. The gym was always full of boys so you mostly worked out at night. You were usually alone but you preferred it that way because if you wanted to survive in this place you had to earn their respect. No man would respect a girl who’s half their size and doesn’t even know how to properly throw a punch. It was best to not have them knowing your skill level before you improved yourself. Throughout the day you always made yourself look busy while you watched their workout carefully so that you could copy them at night when you are alone and hope that you got them right.

After another busy day at Dongcheon, when everybody else retreaded their room it was the time your day started.

You wrapped your hands and wrists with a handwrap and put your headphones on before wearing the gloves. Closed your eyes and replay the memory of their moves in your mind and you hit the punch bag. Each melody in your ear left its place to the next one as the hour hands rushed to get to the midnight.

Then you sensed a pair of eyes on you.

You were no longer alone.

You turned your head where you felt their presence and see it was Taeju, right hand man of Choi Mujin. At first you decided to ignore him but training became harder with a professional’s whole attention on you. You pushed the glove off your right hand and took off the one side of your wired headphones and directed your body towards him. "What is it?”

He acted nonchalant with your question and slowly walked to the field in the middle of the gym. "You have the potential,” you slightly frowned. Where did that came from?

Why was he even here?

“but not the patience." he continued with. "If you wanna become a better fighter you should learn the basics first and master them.”

He raised his hand towards you and pointed you to come closer with his two fingers.

Was this him offering you a special training session? If that so, you were in no position to decline.

You grabbed the glove from the floor and walked to the field. Taeju watched you with careful eyes and realized your handwraps. "They are too tight," he said, then came right in front of you with two long steps and held your wrist. After unwrapping them he redo it for you and gave you tips on how to make them perfectly. You whispered him a small thank you.

You wondered why was he being like this after ignoring you for a week but whatever lesson he wanted to teach you, you just took it. You needed every knowledge you could get.

After making sure your hands were wrapped nice and good he also put his own gloves on and came right in front of you. "Show me what you got," he said.

You waited for him to grab the punch pads but instead he smiled, "Don’t worry, I can take a punch."

You felt the air easing after seeing him smile.

You returned his gesture and showed him the moves you were practicing a few minutes ago. It didn’t take him much to throw you to the ground. Still, he complimented you. "You’re fast, use it to your advantage."

You got back on your feet. He signed you to come at him again. You tried to put his suggestion into practice and fastened your rhythm.

Each round ended up with you laying on the floor and him picking you back up. You two spent almost an hour there sweating on each other. Sometimes filling the whole place up with your tangled laughters and the voice of the leather gloves hitting on both your skins. Maybe it was because you two were close in age but in that moment, you felt like you two would be close by time.

After that practice Taeju offered you cigarette and it quickly became a habit. Every night that Taeju could make it, you two worked out together at Dongcheon. Sometimes like tonight, sometimes just next to each other. Enjoying the other person’s company. Taeju discovered your ethics about training and how you tried to copy the other’s move and act on it. You soon realized how he always worked out close to you, as if showing you the combats. He would eye you some time to time to see if you got them correctly and would do the same thing over and over till you got it right. He never said a word about it. Both of you were aware of the act but kept it like a secret. At the end of the each night you two would share a cigarette and went to your separate rooms.

It all started with Donghoon asking Taeju to keep an eye on you and help you if you needed something. Taeju only accepted cause he didn’t want to say no to his dear old friend. Neither of them knew that it would be the great opener to a lifelong friendship between you and Taeju.

. . .

Unlike for his friend and subordinate, Mujin was not easily impressed. He watched you with Taeju through the security cameras and often asked him about your improvements. At the first day that you came to Dongcheon he thought that you would leave the place in a day but you surprised him and kept doing so by the each passing day. Mujin was not an anti-feminist but the idea of a woman surviving in this world was not likely to him. Especially a woman at your age and with no experience about this type of life.

So he kept his eyes on you without your acknowledgment. Trying to see what his friends saw in you.

Sure you were ambitious and a hardworker but what mattered to him was were you a killer?

There was only one way to find out.

Mujin ordered Taeju to bring you to the next fight when it happened. Saying he needed to see some things.

Not so long after, he got you exactly where he wanted. Right in front of a traitor who was already on his knees, begging for his life to be speared. Mujin's knife resting against the traitor's neck. He looked at you from the corner of his eyes. He put on an act to make it look like he just got the idea and he held out the knife for you.

It was time to play.

"You kill him, rookie."

He ordered you with a stone face. Waiting for your reaction with piercing eyes. Knowing pretty well that you aren't capable of killing just yet. You looked at his eyes and his face told you everything: He was challenging you.

"Let's see if you deserve your place in here."

Fear consumed your whole body. Your hands getting colder as you took the knife that was extended to you. You felt the handle in your hands, it was strange. You thought about how it probably took many lives before. He asked you to add one more to that list.

He asked you to kill someone. Someone that was begging for forgiveness on his knees, right in front of you. You watched the tears slipping down his face, the panic in his eyes and listened him talking about his family. How he had a wife and two kids at home, waiting for him. He told you that the young was just four years old and how much he needed him.

While your sympathy for him grew you forgot about Mujin’s gaze on you. Your hands were shaking, how could you kill him when he was looking to your eyes like that.

Mujin got closer to you, "Stab him." he told you harshly.

You felt your eyes burn but didn't let the tears spill. With your shaky breaths, you tried to keep your hand still.

"Stab him." he ordered one more time, his patience wearing thin.

Enough time passed with the man's pleas and your silent cries. The pressure of his presence next to you made everything worse. At the end he took the knife back from you, harshly. He pulled you to himself while he was doing so and locked your head with his left arm. Everything happened so fast. While he forced you to look, he stabbed the man from his neck in a one swift movement. You didn't even have time to close your eyes as the man's blood splashed onto your face. Your breath hitched. You couldn't comprehend what just had happened.

With your eyes wide open, you watched his life fly away from his eyes as he looked at you. Before his body collapsed to the floor, Mujin handed you the knife back. This time covered with blood. He let go of you and left you alone with a dead man in front of you without even saying anything.

The feeling of a dead man's blood on your face and holding in your hand the very same knife that killed him, you didn't know what to do with that. But it told you one thing: Dongcheon was not just a gym you can only workout and live a normal life, it was a lifestyle.

A life you did not belong to, yet.

. . .

After what happened at that mission you thought they would kick you out. So you decided it was best to go yourself. You were no stranger to feel like an outsider, be the person that just don't fit. Deep down you cursed yourself for hesitating to kill that man. If you weren't such a coward, you had the perfect opportunity to prove yourself to Mujin. Prove you are capable.

A knock on your already opened door interrupted your thoughts. You looked at the door from top of your shoulder. You saw Taeju, he folded his arms on his chest as he looked at your bag. "Going somewhere?" he asked. You kept your silence. He didn't need an answer. "Boss wants to see you, let's go." he continued casually.

Your chest thigtened, "Is he here?” you knew that he doesn't come to dongcheon much often.

Taeju smiled, "No. You are going to the Liber." he said while he pointed the hotel that was visible from the window with his finger.

You grabbed your bag, "Just tell him I was already left when you got here. I'm certain he would be more glad that way."

Your sarcasm was one of his favorite things about you when it was not directed to him. He would never let you know though. But an order was an order. One way or another Taeju brought you to the hotel.

Single door away from him, you didn't know what to expect.

He opened the door for you after a knock. Giving you one last look before he stepped in the room, excepting you to follow. You did. Walked till you reach the middle of the room, in front of the desk where he stood with his back turned to you. You watched his back through his perfectly ironed shirt. Unaware of his harsh stare through the reflection on the mirror.

"I see you are still here, rookie."

You nervously shifted in your place. "You asked for me," your voice was gruff but not in a rebellious way. Mujin took his time before turning his face from the window. Nodding slowly, he confirmed the undoubted truth. "Indeed I did." his midnight dark gaze fixated on your confidant looking figure. He took in all of you as you did the same. The silence were sitting in the middle of the room as the two of you waited for the other one to speak.

You saw it again —the expectation in his eyes. Just like the time when he extended his knife to you to kill that man. You startled with the recall of that moment. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw his face, his body, on his knees, begging. How you stood helpless as his blood stained your face like a blush in the most sinful shade. Part of you felt ashamed for feeling sympathy for such a man, a traitor. That part was the reason why you wanted to leave earlier, before Taeju brought you here. Because your heart's voice were loud and clear in your ears when she told you: you are not a killer, you can't be a killer. But your guts sneaked its way behind your ear, like a well-prepared-venom, it poisoned you with sweet nothings. You belong here, prove them.

Prove him.

Well that, that was the other part.

Under his glare, you felt the need to apologize. Right when you started with "About today-" he was quick to interrupt you. "Why are you here y/n?" You did not expect such question. Before your slight frown could completely appear on your face he continued. "If you don't share the value of all my other man, if you can't do what your told, why are you here?" Mujin were harsh with his words. They were meant to be that way.

His word hurt, not for the reason he plotted for -even though it would be less painful- but for the resemblance it held to your deepest feelings. Little you that couldn't fit to the largest rooms and tiniest houses. A piece of you that desired the most to be a part of somewhere, something, anything. You felt like a card always getting declined at any store. And she were never declined because of a low balance, she got declined cuz she was trapped in a man's back pocket, bent and forced to lost her own shape, or because of all the marks and cuts that was gifted from many prior careless use-rs. None of it could stop her from searching for the right place though, cuz at the and of the day she knew her worth, loaded heavier than any possible wealth, she was going to find the place that would accept her for her, maybe today maybe later. Oh but how she wished it was today.

How you wished it was today.

You swallowed your feelings, and blinked away your gathering tears. Through that exact moment you felt your veins burning with the hunger of proving yourself once and all. "I assure you Sir, I'm perfectly capable of listening orders. I'm sorry about earlier, it won't happen again." your answer was simple, casual. Definitely the words of someone in your position would say.

He nodded again, elaborately refilled his glass. "Should I believe you or to the little girl I saw? Trembling with a knife in her hands,” He tsked.

Little girl?

You looked at him with no emotion in your eyes. Acting unfazed, "It won’t happen again." then you added. "Like I said."

Mujin quirked his lips, an idea already lighted in his head. He drank his remaining whiskey in his glass in one go and walked to his drawer. "So..." he started with. A dangerous smile appeared on his full lips. Amusement clear on his face with finding what he was looking for.

You shifted on your leg when he was not looking. Not knowing what was to come sat heavy on your chest. You saw him pulling out something black out of the drawer, couldn't quite name what it was. Right when he pulled out its cover, you saw it. The familiarity sent chills down your spine. You knew exactly what it was. A knife —his knife.

As he walked around his desk his smile remained on his lips. "Words are just words y/n," He stopped in front of you, his eyes keen. With his two fingers he motioned you to come closer. Even if your legs wanted to do the opposite, you obeyed.

His calm demeanor was rather unsettling, you pushed your thoughts to aside and stood next to him. "You wanna stay, you prove it." his voice's unique tone was ringing in your ears. No matter what you had to put yourself together. Even though you didn't know what he exactly meant, it was your second -most likely last- chance. Failing was not a luxury you owned.

You watched as he moved the knife in his palm with a swift moment. The scales that were ones in his palm were now directed to you. Before you could question his wish he wrapped his free hand around your wrist and pulled you closer to himself. You let out a gasp, caught by surprise. You looked up at him as he leaned down. "Stab me." he ordered. His voice stern and clear.

Stab me.

He said, stab me.

Your mouth gaped open. It all happened so fast. You were slow to grasp it all. His breath on your face, grip on your wrist. You felt yourself trapped in the biggest room you've ever been in.

His dark rides were burnin' with fire. "Stab me." he repeated.

Put your self together y/n.

You gulped down and took the knife that was extended to you. Your eyes not leaving his for a second, you held the scales very tightly to prevent your hands from trembling. He didn't let go of your wrist or step back. He just looked down at you, breathing loudly. It felt hot on your skin, his breath mixed with the smell of his cologne and whiskey played games inside your head. You felt the knife between your fingers, it was strange. New and outlandish. You held it tighter, owning the feeling of it. You can do this.

He pulled you even closer, his patience wearing thin. "Stab me." he bawled at your face. You slightly flinched. Heart beating so fast you were sure if the room was a tad quieter both men could hear its embarrassing pace. His touch, his gaze full of expectation. You felt it radiating off his body. Wondering what was his real wish. Did he wanted you to be scared and back off or show him your capability and stubbornness?

Your insides were in fire. All you wanted was the erase that arrogant smile off his face. You didn't think what would happen after, you looked deep in his eyes, without even blinking you lifted the knife and stabbed him on his thigh. As the warm liquid climbed its way on your hand, your nostrils were filled with an irony smell. As if it was possible, your heartbeat fastened.

Mujin didn't show any sign of hurt, like he wasn't stabbed just now. His smirk shifted from arrogance to satisfaction. He enjoyed your persistent nature more than he liked to admit.

In his eyes you expected to see fury, anger not this. Joy.

Pure joy.

You couldn't put your finger on it whether it was a good sign or not. Even his look of approval were anything but comforting. You were unaware of every dangerous thought crossing his mind.

When he opened his mouth the only word that left were: 그렇지.

그렇지 means something like ‘that’s right’ according to google but it’s the word Mujin used several times at the last episode of the show where he and Jiwoo were fighting. It’s more like a praise. I thought it was very fitting.

And don’t be shy leave a comment pookie, let’s have a chat.

pairing: choi mujin x fem!reader

wc: 1.5k (I know it’s short but I really didn’t want to make this part so long)

warnings: mention of drug and cigarette use, slight curse words, I think that’s it

authors note: uhm, just so you know there is almost no Mujin in this but this was a must for the majority of the plot. I still don’t know how I feel about this maybe I’ll rewrite it in the not-so-near future but for now here it is. The next part will be so much better I promise you. And english is not my first language so feel free to tell me if I make any mistakes so I can do better next time. I love you and thank you for your time. I hope you enjoy it.

Also if you like to check my masterlist.

No one talks about how it really feels to have nothing. Or how low it can get you.

Maybe it's because the people that has the life that way don't have the voice for it and the ones that have the voice could never get it the way that it is. They would tell you all types of stories about it, most of them sugarcoated with sparkly glosses and pink tints. Trying to protect the population’s faith for humanity, to make them believe the world isn’t that bad of a place. As if to mock you in the face.

No money, no family. In the middle of Seoul with no place to go. Underage. No part of those is the opposite of bad.

So when you have nothing and someone offers you money in return of your service, you take it.

When someone offers you a place to survive in return of a part of your soul, you take it.

When someone offers you a bottle of momentary happiness in return of your company, you take it.

Even though you know you'll get addicted to it, you take it. Cause some is better than none.

You smile, serve and get all dolled up just to get ruined by the night. You get under the water and try to erase it all. Their touch, their breath, their compliments, their degrades. Sleep, eat and repeat.

Only if the water could speak, she would beg you not to get her dirty with all your filth.

. . .

You are laying reverse on a bed, your hair hanging from the end of it, roots wet with sweat. Your naked body covered with a thin sheet. Head high as you watch the smoke of your cigarette dance on the air. All the way from your lips to the ceiling. It looked happy, you thought. And a little lazy too. Slowly forming into any shape it wants. Then disappearing in the thin air as if it never been there. As you kept blowing it kept disappearing in a rush, like it was trying to leave you as fast as it could.

You frowned, was your company that bad?

You were alone in the room but the music was so loud you could still hear it. You turned your head to a side and watched people passing by through the string curtain. You caught a group of man walking to the backrooms. All wearing suits, looking so out of place. You recognized the tall one first, his intense gaze and perfectly styled hair. A type of side profile that could make any women jealous. The man behind him was shorter, probably close to your age but just as serious as the first one. Then you saw the other one. He looked like he was the eldest. Little beard and the round belly making him look like more commoner than the rest of them, more warm. While the others passed by one by one he turned to you. He looked right into your eyes, his gaze softened as if he saw someone he knew.

You watched him with empty eyes, not a single emotion behind the irises of your eyes. Not aware that your looking into your savior’s eyes, you kept smoking until he got lost in the dark corridors with his friends.

Your guts spoke to you, this won’t be the last time you’ll see them.

. . .

The very next day he was standing on your doorway. The one with the soft eyes. He looked nervous as you watched him with curiosity in your eyes. Waiting for answers, you didn't let him read the surprise on your face.

"Hi," he started simple but failed the wipe off the furrow of your brows. "Can I have your five minute?" he tried again.

He was acting all nice and kind but you seeked a lot more to believe he was being sincere.

"What you and I can talk about?” You were straight forward, questioning.

He raised his hand and made a five with his fingers, “Just five minutes, I promise.”

You observed his appearance before giving him an answer. Without his friends and a jacket to feed into his bad guy appearance he looked more casual and less formal but still very suspicious. You couldn't invite him to your apartment since he was still a stranger who randomly showed up at your place so you closed the door and sat on the stairs, also leaving him space so that he could sit next to you if he wanted to.

"Just five minutes." You say, reminding him his own words.

He offered you a small smile and sat down. "My name is Yoon Donghoon." He started with simple introduction, you remained silent.

Getting the hint you were not going to give him your name he continued , "Okay,".

You doubted that he already didn't know your name considering he knew where you were living.

It was easy to tell that he was having a hard time trying to find the right words to explain whatever reason he was here for. He took a deep breath and handed you the paper you didn’t realize he’s been holding. Your furrow deepened “What is this?”

"An offer,"

You dramatically sighed, "Excuse me?”

"I’m offering you another life,” he stated so casually.

You scoffed, took offense and quickly turned into defensive mode, "I don’t need your pity,"

"I’m not pitying you, I want to help you."

“I don’t need anything from you," you declared.

"Never said you need it," this man gotta be kidding with you.

"Who are you?” You asked, sure, he looked like a nice guy but there was something else. "Why do you want to help me?" You wanted to get straight to the point, he should have some benefit from it. You need to know what was it.

"Can’t a person help someone for the good of his heart?”

“No person with a good heart casually walks through the corridors of my workplace.” You were quick to remind him where you two first saw each other.

“Why?” He asked. “Are you a bad person?”

You had to pause for a second, “I’m not a good person.” seemed like the most honest answer.

“Not what I asked,”

You sighed, this guy…

“Well, that’s my answer.”

He chuckled, like this banter type of thing was funny to him.

“Your eyes,” his voice almost sounded like a whisper. “They remind me of someone I deeply care about.” He looked down and back up at you, like it was hurting him to admit it.

That was not what you expected.

While you waited for him to continue he checked the time from the watch on his wrist and got up. “My five minutes is up.”

You couldn’t keep yourself back from rolling your eyes, “Really?”

He gave you one last smile, “I’m a man of my word.” After fixing his shirt and shaking off the dust off his pants he points to the paper he gave you. “There is an address and a number in there. If you don’t want to visit, that’s fine but feel free to call me if you need anything.”

You didn’t give him an answer, he didn’t wait for it.

“Have a nice day,” he said and whispered your name at the end with a mischievous smile of a ten-years-old kid.

You knew he knew it.

. . .

Next week was something else.

Donghoon kept creeping into your mind every minute of the day. You kept replaying the small interaction in your mind over and over again. A part you didn’t want to leave the regularity of this life. Even if it got challenging time to time, this was your normal now. Maybe nothing good came with it but it kept you alive. On the other hand there was this new life you had zero information about. Choosing a life where you had no one you knew, no one you trust over your ordinary wasn’t an easy decision to make.

The thought of ‘What worst can possibly happen?’ helped you make the decision and you found yourself packing all your stuff to hope in to your new adventure.

The guy could have been a fucking maniac, or a serial killer maybe even worse.

You pushed that thought to a side and instead you focused on the task at hand which was finding the right address and it wasn’t easy since you didn’t know how it looked like or what it was exactly. Five minutes, your navigation told you you were five minutes away from your destination. The closer you get the nervous you felt

Calm down. You reminded yourself. Deep breaths, in and out.

You almost jumped when you heard a voice calling out your name. You turned your head to the direction it came from. Donghoon was calling you from the inside of a mini restaurant. He was sitting with the same two guys you saw at your previous workplace.

Five minutes, my ass.

He rosed to his feet and walked to you to greet you, “Took you long enough.” You greeted him back with a bow out of respect. After all he was way older than you.

"Are you ready?” He asked.

You took a look around the mini restaurant and a pair of eyes tangled with yours. Oh, you thought.

Did you just find your new addiction?

“Hm?”

Answer it. Are you ready for the first day of your new life?

warning: low self esteem

a/n: my masterlist if you are interested in more, enjoy

You woke up from a nightmare, your heart beating fast and your body sticky with cold sweat.

A pair of brown eyes were on you, Mujin. His rough hands stroking your arm with tender. He whispered, “You’re awake now, you’re here with me.”

You didn’t look around the room or your surroundings to remind yourself where you are, that you are safe. You looked into his eyes and see the affection behind his irises, you felt his gentle touch on your skin, listen to his soft spoken words and you knew.

The sunrise shining on his features told you about what time was it, probably around five in the morning. He normally would’ve been gone by now but he was here. Holding you, calming you.

He lifted his palm from your arm to your cheek and cupped your face. “You’re safe.” He reassured you.

You just looked into his eyes, trying to steady your breathing. The way he holds you and looks at you… so intimate, so attentive. Your nightmare was mixing your emotions together, crashing them into each other, you felt so little, unworthy of his kind gesture nor his presence next to you. Tears were pooling in your eyes and you weren’t making any effort to stop them.

“I…” You began.

The filthy voice of that man with yellow teeth were fresh in your ear. “You stupid little b*tch, can you do one thing right? Suck it good, oh come on.”

And the pleas of the very first victim of yours visited your every nightmare. “I have a little daughter, please, please don’t do it.”

Mujin wiped a tear away, “Tell me what’s on your mind.” He said, a gentle request.

You sniffed, feeling sensitive and dramatically emotional.

“I’ve let people do things to me that I’m not very proud of.” Tears streaming down your face, you looked down at your hands, fidgeting with your fingers, anxious and embarrassed. But still continued, “I’ve let them use me, hurt me, do whatever they want.” He touched your chin with the back of his two fingers, caressed it before gently lifting your face. Your eyes met, his calmness crashed with your mess in a silent wave. You bit your lips before forcing out the admission of your sin between them. “Now they’re haunting me and I’m the only one to blame.”

His fingers moved across your face, caressing your chin to your jaw then your cheek and lip, both upper and lower. You instinctively opened them, only slightly. “Shh…” He didn’t want to hear you talking about yourself in such a way. “Blame it on me,” He whispered close to your lips, his hot breath fanning your skin. Your breath hitched, “my broken little dove, blame it on me.”. He said more firmly this way.

You were stunned, confused by his words.

“I should have found you sooner, save you, protect you.” The way he looked deep into your eyes while he held you almost made you feel like something precious. But his pause between each word and soft tone wasn’t enough to make you believe in this lie.

“Please, please don’t do it.” You could still hear it loud and clear in your head.

You chuckled sarcastically as you looked away. “I haven’t been a saint ever since either.” And neither was he. It was the truth that you both knew.

“Don’t—“, “I am not a good person and I hate myself for it.” Your argument came quickly because you didn’t need reassurance, you needed understanding.

“Hate me.” He was still gentle but more authoritative this time. He grabbed your jaw firmly and made you look into his eyes. “If you’re not a saint it’s because of me, for me. Not because you wanted to, ‘cuz I asked you to.” You could feel your heart hurting and healing at the same time with every hit of his breath against your face. He was the only person you ever had, how dare he asked you to hate him? Your eyes got teary again, you shook your head. He saw it all and pushed his finger against your lip to silence any of your protest before they even came his way. You took a shaky breath as a tear spilled down your cheek. Mujin wiped it off with the pad of his fingers and placed a soft kiss right under your eye. “Shh…”

You wanted to say so many things but instead you gave in to him, like you always do when he asks this nicely. Did you even had another choice?

He rested your face against his chest with the guidance of his palm on your cheek. He kept soothing you by playing with your hair and placing featherlight kisses on top of your head.

“Hate me,” He repeated. “I deserve it.”

You didn’t argue, just let yourself loose and find the comfort you’ve been missing for a long time in his strong arms.

Mujin kept holding you, listened your heartbeat and breaths until they turned even and even after that. He had a reason to hold you, it would be only fair if he took full advantage of that.

He made sure you were fallen asleep before he whispered,

✮ power dynamics. knives and bloods. harsh words, soft touches. secrets. issues. loyalty. loyalty. age gap. lack of communication. lots of comprehension. dark world. highs are high and lows are low. love you, love me not. ✮

“trust me. no matter what happens, the organization will protect you,”