#zesty writes

Kazuha was sure he would've forgotten his name by the time they reached Liyue if Captain Beidou hadn't been saying it so much. She was determined to make him feel human; even though they both knew Kazuha felt nothing at all, much less human. But, for all the people who seem to care anyway, he was determined to try.

His name was Kaedehara Kazuha and he was from Inazuma. He was born into dwindling nobility and trained in the art of the blade. Kazuha was rescued and welcomed in as a part of the Crux crew of the Alcor. He once possessed a vision, though it had been seized recently. He had friends in high places, and it was the only reason he made it out of Inazuma alive. Some of the information was from his own memories, most are from the Crux.

He also has a dead vision for some reason. No one really knew how to answer that question without getting teary-eyed.

Kazuha didn't know the story there. He really didn't. He felt like he should, but he didn't. There was still grief, for some odd reason.

Kazuha's grief was nothing like the stories. Kazuha saw the sun shine in a cloudless sky and didn't curse it for not matching his mood. He did not clutch desperately onto the days hoping they'd stay static and let him grieve. Months pass him by and he simply felt... still. It'd felt like everything had gone downhill and then stayed there. Kazuha's grief was not poetic, it was just sadness. Or maybe that was just what losing a vision did to you– Kazuha really didn't know.

━━━━━━━━━━

There is lightning, there is steel and there is a striped scarf. Goosebumps bloom across his left and then Kazuha's just barely dodging the blazing purple sword aiming for his side.

He leaps into the air with a burst of wind, grabbing a fistful of grass from under him. Kazuha gathers anemo in his other palm. He throws the grass into the air and uses a gust of wind to blow it in the other man's face.

The man splutters, and Kazuha's confident he's already won as he descends. His opponent attempts to wipe it off his face, but electro slithers from his arm and a short but powerful reaction occurs. He stumbles back and Kazuha steadies his blade.

Kazuha throws another slice of anemo with his free hand at his opponent's feet. He tumbles to the ground and Kazuha pounces.

His sword stabs into the ground by the man's ear. Kazuha's other hand slams into a sturdy chest, keeping it down. "I win," Kazuha states, a little breathless.

"Not so fast, young master."

Kazuha's suddenly being manhandled onto his back, sword slipping from him. It thumps somewhere, but Kazuha's a lot more focused on the sharp steel under his chin. He tries grabbing at the other man's sword, but his free hand wraps around Kazuha's wrist.

He could try using his free hand to swipe at the man, but it's trapped under an elbow currently holding the weapon at him. It's likely to pierce his throat. Not good odds, Kazuha decides.

"I," his opponent breathes, "win," and there's finally a still moment.

The face hovering above him is a blur, but Kazuha got the impression the man was smiling at him. Blades of grass still litter both of their skin and Kazuha's focus is on one sticking to the man's lip. The sword retreats from his neck and drops on the dirt beside them.

Then they both burst into laughter, and the tension in the air seeps away in an instant. The man slumps on top of him and Kazuha can feel that dazzling grin he can't see against his collar–

[Kazuha wakes up. The details start to slip between his fingers, like sand. He still grabs for them desperately. The small glimpse wasn't enough, he needs more. Needs to know more about the man from his dreams, the one he knows in a bone-deep way is the one he lost. The details don't come back.

The events of the dream have left their toll. It's like a wound that hadn't even closed re-opening. He's left sitting up in a cold sweat, trying not to choke ( on what? Tears? His heart that seems to want to jump from his throat? Grief? He doesn't think this is grieving. It's just torture– ) and gripping that accursed vision.]

━━━━━━━━━━

Kazuha found himself staring at the dead vision, the one he'd lost his soul for, and relating to it. Six months since his vision had been seized, and he'd just started to truly realise the cruelty of it all.

At first, all he could do was mourn his memories, and then he mourned a distant figure he couldn't even name. Then, he mourned himself. What had happened to him? What happened to Kaedehara Kazuha? Poetic and strong, reliable Kaedehara Kazuha. Kazuha'd ruined himself so thoroughly, and he didn't even have the energy to regret it.

Kazuha was hollow, Kazuha's skin was raw and peeled. If he had nothing left on the outside or inside, did he even exist?

It was all a long way to say that Kazuha felt out of it, he was losing his way.

The Crux were understanding. He didn't act it, but he was grateful. Kazuha's sure if he'd been in the company of anyone less kind, he'd be much more of a mess. If he weren't as... washed out, it'd be easy to find happiness with them. Kazuha would like life at sea, even if he was a wreck. Yet, he was beyond a wreck, so not much could be done.

Still, he'd ought to be more grateful. Especially to Beidou.

Beidou was kind. Usually it was the captain who held his hair for him when he got sick all over her mopped floors. The one who kept trying to bridge the gap between him and the crew. (She was an eerily familiar kind of warmth.) Ironically, Beidou was Kazuha's anchor. So, It was unsurprising that Beidou caught onto his newest spiral quickest.

For a while, Beidou had dismissed his slip-ups for being, understandably, out of it. But, the ninth time he'd mixed up mop water for drinking water, she'd pulled him aside.

Beidou placed her hands on his shoulders, steadying him. "Kazuha, I promised to take care of you. Tell me what's wrong." She was uncharacteristically quiet, not speaking above a whisper. So Kazuha knew she was serious.

"I...," and he had to clear his throat, it was as rough as sandpaper, "I..don't know."

Beidou stayed silent, gently egging him on to elaborate. Yet, he couldn't find the words. He, Kaedehara Kazuha, did not know how to articulate his thoughts. "In through the nose, out through the mouth," Beidou reminded him.

Kazuha inhaled through his nose, and the air smelled like nothing. Not even of salt or fish. Even the cooking of meat, the sizzling smell he hates for some reason, doesn't even make him want to throw up. There was nothing, like trying to sniff through a nose turned pink in the winter.

"Do you smell anything?" Kazuha asked, a little desperately. He couldn't hear himself over the dread clogging every part of him.

Beidou's eye widened. "What?"

He, a little shakily, grabbed onto the ship's railing and tipped his head up.. A breeze hit him in the face, and Kazuha barely felt it against his numbed skin. The wind did not bring him the scent of the sea. Kazuha's knees buckled.

"...Kazuha?" Her voice was far away, blanketed by a ringing in his ears. Kazuha let out a pained sound.

Something bumped against his foot. He glanced down. It was a mug, booze dripping out of it. There was a puddle of the rest of it soaking into his socks. Kazuha looked up and was met with stares. The crew, they were gaping at him. One of the men had his hand hanging in the air, curled around nothing. The sailor's gaze drifted to the mug, and then back up at Kazuha.

How long had they been listening in? He hadn't even heard them. Was he really that out of it? So disoriented he couldn't even notice if he was causing a scene?

He picked up the mug, and everything was still so far away; so silent. One of the few things Kazuha remembered for sure was that it was never silent.

Kazuha's hands shook and the mug slips from his fingers. He hadn't even heard the cup fall. Kazuha should've heard the clatter of wood on wood, the sound of it rolling across the floorboards.

"Oh," he said, and all was silent and scentless.

Beidou's muffled voice told him to turn in for the night, he didn't fight it.

━━━━━━━━━━

"Kazuha! Look, shelter!" The man points a finger at a suspiciously welcoming looking hut at the far end of the road. Beaming, he continues, "Kazuha, look! We'll have a roof over our heads tonight!"

But Kazuha did not speak. He paused and listened intently before he finally replied "If you were to ask my opinion,,. It may be best to stay away."

He frowned, "But we've been walking through mud for days. I'm tired. And you are too, admit it!"

"I am," Kazuha sighed, "But I think it's best to stay away."

His friend huffed and pulled the collar of his shirt down, revealing a tiny white kitten. "Come on, Tama, back me up here!"

The kitten sneezed. Kazuha chuckled, while the man just looked more annoyed. He gently manoeuvred the kitten out of his shirt and into Kazuha's arms. His friend booped her nose, "Well I'm going in! I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, like you say all the time. See you two tomorrow.. Or you could join me right now?"

Kazuha shook his head, "Have fun." The man threw his hands up and marched towards the hut, muttering curses under his breath.

The next morning, Kazuha patted his back as he vomited up mud and leaves. Kazuha smiled and said, "The wind is weaker where there are houses. Yet, here stood a hut, and there was no change in the mountain's bree–"

Kazuha had a feeling he wasn't listening. The bake-danuki's prank had really gotten to him. Kazuha wasn't sure what that meant. He'd thought it was something they would laugh about come morning.

As if sensing his turmoil, the man threw a half-hearted smile at him. "Haha, you were right. I really let my guard down there, didn't I?" He said it sadly, not really looking at Kazuha.

Why won't you look at me? After all this time. Do you know how much I've suffered. I can neither forget you nor remember you. You haunt me. You haunt me. You haunt me. You haunt me. You haunt me. You haunt me. You haunt me. You haunt me. You—

━━━━━━━━━━

It would be easier if he knew exactly who he was mourning for. Kazuha did not know the man's name or his face. The lines smudged and blurred the more he contemplated it. He knew more about himself than the man, and Kazuha had famously lost himself. It was getting too easy to give up. To pack up the memory in a box and leave it in an attic like we do with things we outgrow.

And that felt blasphemous. The man was ( was ) not a stranger, that man had meant everything to him; that's why he's lost along with Kazuha's vision. But, after a long year, Kazuha just felt numb. Anything that was once important became a vice, only left to hurt you.

That's what Kazuha told the Traveller when she'd asked what losing a vision felt like.

She looked at him like he was something to be feared. And he was, wasn't he? All that Kazuha was, in the end, was a warning. He understood, she herself had someone she'd been looking for. Kazuha hoped with his weak heart that the Traveller would never lose herself.

The Traveller was bright, was kind. She was mysterious and yet so far from distant. Kazuha found himself befriending her during her stay on the Alcor. She drifted away from the others and stood with him at the railings of the ship. He'd gotten so used to standing there alone; at first to avoid the smell of cooking meat and then, when his senses had dulled, just out of routine. Her company was welcomed thoroughly.

She spoke confidently, and slowly. She was direct, yet still willing to let others steer the conversation if they wanted to. Kazuha was glad for her presence.

"Do you resent the Raiden Shogun? For all that she did to you?"

Kazuha contemplated on an answer. Did he? He certainly didn't agree with the Shogun.

"I don't remember much," Kazuha said, "To resent, you need passion." And he had no memory with which to fuel him, and no energy left to come up with a motivation.

He breathed for a moment. "I'm tired," he admitted, even though it was no secret.

She sighed, resigned.

Kazuha raised an eyebrow, but the Traveller shook her head, "Nothing."

She looked over the hull at the ocean. It was probably beautiful, sunset painting the blue water a thousand different colours. He fidgeted with the dead vision on his lap, staring at the grey centre. He took a peek at the sea over his shoulder, it was less vibrant than the smooth stone he rubs his fingers against. Grey, grey and grey.

━━━━━━━━━━

The Traveller had a duel before the Shogun and Kazuha felt a level of panic he'd never thought he'd reach again.

━━━━━━━━━━

Kazuha is on the other side of a blade. Everything is intense. Everything from the hair standing painfully on the back of his neck to the burning in his arms.

All his strength focuses in on not collapsing to his knees. His heart is trying to jump out of his throat, and he is unable to swallow it down or spit it out.

A dozen hues of purple and black dance across his vision, blazing blindingly bright and disorienting him. Kazuha's sword is his only lifeline, and he is forced to grip it tighter. His nails bend against the hilt, and a distant pain thunders.

His mind is blank as it takes in a hundred different pains. Time doesn't slow down or fasten, it tightens. It is heavy. Heavy like his chest, like his bones. Kazuha will collapse under it before long, it's certain.

A gold blur darts past him, warm in a sea of purple. Everything stops. It is silent except for the ringing in his ears.

Then, it all fades to black.

━━━━━━━━━━

"...are you sure? It doesn't look like he's all there," a smooth voice said.

"We're lucky he's in there at all," a blurry hand slipped into his field of vision, "Follow my finger with your eyes. Yes, like that. One, two. One, two." It receded and the person continued, "Hmmm.. curious."

"KAZUHAAAA, CAN YOU HEAR USSSSS?"

Kazuha winced. He certainly heard them. That last voice was very shrill, and definitely not good for the massive headache he was sporting. Kazuha's hands tried to go to massage his temples, but his arms stayed at his sides. Panic began to spark in his chest.

But before it could spread and devour him, there's a cool hand on his forehead. The effect was instant, like a stuffed animal handed to a crying child. The soothing presence beside him was a familiarly blurred golden. He could somewhat see them through drooping eyelids. It was hard to make out, but he could see a flower threaded through blonde hair.

There's the distant sound of hushed scolding, but Kazuha could barely hear it. He slipped into unconsciousness a lot slower than before. It's less being tossed into the icy depths and more a leaf carefully settling on the water's surface.

━━━━━━━━━━

"The flesh resides in society, while the heart yearns for the natural world... Such has been the way of the Kaedeharas for many generations. Kazuha, the future of this clan will one day be in your hands. When that time comes, remember to always stay true to yourself."

.

.

.

"Kazuha, there's one thing I want you to always remember. Family ties are important, but you ought to not let them hold you back. Family only exists because of the people in it. If we are unhappy, how can we hope to build a joyful one? The events of the past have had a profound impact on our family, but they are not your burden to carry. ...If you ever grow tired of this tedious life, just drop everything and go off on a journey, see the world. Remember, Kazuha, don't let yourself get tied down in life."

.

.

.

"You really want to give it all up? But... but even if we're having a rough time, you still have me by your side! Can't I be of any help? When you were my age, you were already helping grandfather out! Am I so incompetent that I'm a disappointment to you? Or..."

"Kazuha! ..Now you're blaming yourself for all of this... That's why I have failed you as a father.

"The Kaedehara Clan has been paying the price for our past mistakes ever since your great-grandfather's generation. To this day, we have never fully recovered from it.

"Though we are a family of bladesmiths, you don't have to devote your life to the family craft.

"If a wounded animal wants to escape from a trap, it has to sacrifice the hind leg that was caught. You might think of this as a loss, but staying in the trap has far more deadly consequences.

"Enough now, Kazuha. As the head of the family, I failed to revitalise our clan. You never blamed me for not giving you the life promised to you by our heritage, and I'm grateful enough for that.

"All these generations of suffering... let's end them today. From now on, live your life with no burdens."

.

.

.

Kazuha's holding a tiny kitten, swaddled up in a familiar white and purple scarf. It looks like a wet and wrinkled napkin. Pathetically, it shivers and whines lowly. Unconsciously, Kazuha presses the bundle closer to his chest and puts a hand over its back. It rolls over and leans its face into his palm. It looks like a ball. Kazuha melts.

He does not notice the man at his feet until he sneezes harshly, jostling the three of them. The cat yowls and Kazuha has to cradle it tighter. It takes a while of brushing his fingers against wet fur to soothe it until it stops shaking and finally slips into slumber. The whole time, another body shivers against him, muttering apologies.

Kazuha peers down at him, lying in a fetal position. He is very obviously sick, with the way he has snot all over his face and his hair is sticky with sweat. It should be a disgusting sight, Kazuha thinks. So, dream Kazuha has no reason to feel fondness at the sight.

His expression shifts from a glare to a small smile.

"Did you really have to dive into a river in the middle of the night?" he says, not really chuckling but maybe an echo of one is threaded into his tone. It's enough to earn a look from the man.

"You say that like you wouldn't do the same," The man replies. His voice is deep and airy, like fire seeping through coals. ( It's a nice voice, he'd never heard it so clearly in his first– ) "I couldn't just leave him there to drown."

"We don't know if it's a boy."

"Better than calling him an 'it'!"

Kazuha sighs, "Still, did you have to jump in? Clothes and all?"

The man pulls his makeshift blanket around himself tighter- and, Celestia, that looks like Kazuha's haori- and frowns at him. "I panicked..."

Kazuha smiles softly and has the bizarre urge to run his fingers through the man's wet hair. He doesn't act on it, instead he pokes at their campfire with a stick.

He knows that the kitten isn't going anywhere (– why does he know that? He's gotten so acquainted with missing details, yet he still presses his mind for hints. It makes a dull ache travel across his forehead and almost wakes him up. He doesn't want to, not when he hasn't felt so happy in forever. Let him stay here for a moment longer– ) so they'd probably have to give him a name. They'll have to decide later, for now all he can hope for is that it's a normal name.

It's... it's so domestic it aches, like a cavity. A thought comes to his mind and goes wild before he can nip it in the bud. They probably look like a couple with their infant. Kazuha knows– a name that should be right under his nose and yet so distant, he should stop thinking so hard before he wakes up – is good with kids. Would they be good parents? Kazuha should stop thinking of things out of his reach– he's at your feet, why are you convinced he's so far away? You know nothing of yearning yet – and rest. Reach out, please. You want to reach out so bad it hurts, pl–

━━━━━━━━━━

Kazuha wakes up with a cry. His head hurts and everything is so bright. It hurts. He's miserable.

"Kazuha? You're awake so soon? Yae said it would take longer.."

He feels like he has a thousand wounds that keep getting re-opened. Close, open. Open, close. It hurts.

"...Kazuha?"

He wants the man. He is sweet, he is reckless and he is everything good in this world. Kazuha still can't remember his name though.

"Paimon, go get Yae. Quick. Kazuha doesn't look so good."

He can't take it anymore.

A cool hand on his forehead. "Kazuha? Can you hear me?" The voice sounds like it's as panicked as him but hiding it. "It's me, Traveller, we're at Narukami Shrine."

Why were they at Narukami Shrine? He can't open his mouth to ask. Kazuha turns in the voice's direction. The Traveller is at his bedside, hand threaded with his. She's looking at him, confused but still trying to figure out a way to soothe him.

She's so much like him it hurts. The only thing stopping Kazuha from letting deja vu consume him is that her hand is smaller than him. If it had been larger, Kazuha would've cried again.

"You reawakened the dead vision yourself and at the same time, your own flied from the statue where they're all displayed. It awakened too. And you f-fainted."

"Scared the wits out of these girls," Yae Miko's huffs. "Traveller, you could've at least ungagged Paimon before you sent her. She just grabbed my ears and pulled me here."

"Yae! Kazuha's hyperventilating and I don't know what to do."

He is? Oh, Kazuha realised. He's hyperventilating. Maybe that's why Traveller looked so panicked. Yae Miko walked into a corner of the room that was outside his field of vision.

"This is pretty normal among people who spend too long away from their vision, Having your memories shoved back into you like that, it's violent. Especially if they're painful. Expect him to wake up a few times like that. It's not unusual."

Yae Miko handed the Traveller a glass of mysterious liquid. "Make him drink this so he goes back to sleep."

The Traveller squeezes his hand. "It's painful, but you have to."

He's tired and trusting, so Kazuha lets her. He just hopes for a happier dream as he falls asleep.

━━━━━━━━━━

After a day full of entertaining villagers, Kazuha's ready to fall asleep when he feels a hand on his wrist. "Kazuha..."

Kazuha stays silent; afraid he'll cause an emotional avalanche with a single sound. He waits for his friend to say something, and it feels eerie in a way Kazuha can't describe. This is a new kind of tension, one that feels like deja vu.

The man opens his mouth. Then closes it. He tightens his grip on Kazuha's wrist and pulls them forward. Kazuha doesn't like the view of his back. "It's... it's nothing. Let's go-"

"Tomo, what's wrong?" Tomo doesn't look at him. "Tomo?"

He hears a hurt sound, like the whimper of a fox. But there's no foxes in the area. Kazuha would've heard them. The only thing here other than him that breathes is Tomo.

Tomo, whose shoulders are shaking.

"Look at me, please," Kazuha says.

He's an ugly crier, Kazuha has learnt from experience, but right now, he has only unshed tears. And yet, on his face is an expression that Kazuha has never seen even in Tomo's most vulnerable moments of sadness. He looks lost.

"You can always-"

"-confide in you, I know," Tomo laughs dryly, "You're so kind, Kazuha. It's stupid how kind you are. The world is hostile and you still have enough mercy to see its beauty. You want to see more of it, don't you?"

"I do," Kazuha whispers.

Tomo's eyes pool and a tear soars down. "That's exactly why I can't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"That I don't want this."

Kazuha steps closer. "Want what?"

"To travel. I'm tired of wandering. All my life, I've wandered. As a kid, as a merchant and as an adventurer. I just want to go home, but home is you, Kazuha. I want to settle down, but not without you. I can't ask that of you."

They both know why. Kazuha had spent so much of his life looking out of empty manor windows, reaching for more. Kazuha is a dandelion seed at the beginning of its journey. Tomo is one at the end of his. Tomo will not make him settle before he wants to, and Kazuha won't conjure up more wind just for a chance to stay floating longer, when he knows it's wrung Tomo dry already.

But, Kazuha would stay if Tomo asked and Tomo would continue their travels if Kazuha asked him to. They can't ask each other to be so selfless while being so selfish. Kazuha doesn't know what to do.

Please be selfish, please hurt me, a part of Kazuha thinks.

As if Tomo knew what he was thinking, he says, "I won't. But I can't leave you."

Kazuha wants to ask several things, to scream a hundred and beg for a million. Instead, he asks, "How long have you felt like this?"

"For a while now. It only became unbearable this past few days. Playing with those kids was..," he doesn't finish that dangerous thought. "You are my eternity, Kazuha."

You are my freedom, Kazuha doesn't say.

"But, I won't let you sacrifice your freedom for my eternity."

It hurts. Because Kazuha wants to see more. Kazuha hasn't seen all he wants to see. It will be a lot less enjoyable without Tomo, but it's still what he needs. Every dandelion seed descends eventually. It is not his time yet, no matter how much he wishes it was.

Kazuha cups Tomo's face just as both of them start to sob. He presses their foreheads together.

"I love you," he confesses.

Tomo squawks, "Why would you confess that right now!?"

Kazuha chuckles and it is threaded with a choke. "To let you know while I'll travel for a while longer, when I am ready... I'll come back. And, I'll stay forever after that– i-if you let me." He adds at the end hastily.

Tomo cackles wetly, his head in Kazuha's air, "You say that like I wouldn't. Young master, do you know how great of a catch you are? You're the type of man housewives would welcome back after years of war and not even cheat on! Not even with the hot neighbour! Do you know how sexually frustrating that would be?"

"You can sleep with the hot neighbours, Tomo. I'm already asking something so big from you."

"You're the only one I want asking me for something big," Kazuha steps on his toes a little harshly, "Ow! Dickhead! You literally handed that opportunity to me with your awkward phrasing. Silver-tongued young master ain't so silver tongued it seems."

"You make me nervous!" Kazuha squeaks.

They both burst out laughing all over again. Tomo's chin hits Kazuha's eye and then he starts fussing over it while Kazuha continues chuckling.

It settles back to bittersweet. Tomo smiles, "Tama and I will wait for you."

Kazuha smiles back. it's taking effort not to start crying again.

"Wait. Tomo, where's Tama?"

Both their faces fall. They sprint back the direction they came. Tomo's back to Kazuha. Kazuha chasing after him. Tomo's electro vision swaying like a flag. You weren't supposed to be the one who left.

━━━━━━━━━━

Kazuha jolts awake yelling for Tomo.

Traveller holds him through it, muttering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry– I'm sorry– I'm sorry."

He looks up at her, tears rolling down his face. "I can't."

Her face scrunches weirdly, like it's gonna cave in between her eyebrows. She hugs him tighter, "You'll die if you don't go back to sleep. It's a delicate process to regain your memories–"

No. If he fell asleep he'd have more dreams about the man in the purple scarf. Kazuha was tired of the stress and sadness, he didn't want to remember. Kazuha just wanted to die. Had wanted to die for a while, to get away from the pain. Let him die.

"I'd rather die," Kazuha cries, "I'd rather die than feel like this anymore."

"You don't mean that," The Traveller doesn't even say it in denial, it's like she knows. Like she can see something he doesn't. "You want freedom, this is the only way you'll get it."'

Kazuha sobs. "I don't want to see him die again."

"You have to, Kazuha," She says, now crying too, "For your freedom."

He just sobs louder. "I won't survive this."

"You will. People are going to be waiting for you when you wake up. If you can't bear it, just ask me. I'll just try to make it feel less lonely– I-i'll make it go away. Just, please, Kazuha."

━━━━━━━━━━

Everything was going so well. They'd secured a way out of Inazuma, one that would let them flee to Liyue in one piece. It'd be hard, but it was better than getting their visions stolen. Kazuha had been too high on the promising future to notice Tomo was acting off.

The day before Tomo dies, he couldn't seem to peel himself off of Kazuha. Kazuha hadn't minded, quite enjoying the attention and pleasure he was showered in. Maybe he was too fucked out to realise that Tomo had already begun to act like a man about to die.

"What's on your mind?" Kazuha asks, cradling Tomo's cheek while he sits between his thighs.

Tomo nuzzles into his hand, then threads his fingers through Kazuha's. "Nothing, young master," he says and kisses Kazuha's knuckles. "Just thinking about the day we met."

Kazuha hummed, "Ah, it's already been two years, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Tomo replies, "It's been the happiest two years of my life."

"You're oddly sentimental," Kazuha chuckles and leans forward to press a kiss to Tomo's forehead. Tomo nudges his cheek with his nose.

Tomo whispers, head laying against Kazuha's stomach, "I love you so much."

Kazuha smiles, "I love you too." And doesn't dwell on the look Tomo's got on his face.

.

.

.

Tomo dies honourably, but he is still dead.

It should mean something; it should matter. Tomo wouldn't have had it any other way, and Kazuha can't stand it. Can't stand it because their Archon is selfish but she did not kill him maliciously. But, she still took away Tomo. And with Tomo, his freedom.

.

.

.

Kazuha slips on a pebble.

There's enough of a difference in the elevation of Inazuma's land that any area will have some kind of a slope. One mis-step is all it takes for Kazuha to tumble down the forest floor. One pebble is all it took.

After a few horrible seconds, Kazuha crashes into a bush. Thorns take to his skin like a hyper kid with markers as he struggles against them. He's forced to haphazardly tear the branches off him and it hurts like hell. His blood splatters.

Close by, the thundering steps of the Shogunate grow louder. Kazuha curses. His left wrist had ended up pressed between him and the ground, bent at an unnatural angle. He tries to close his fist, but it just hurts.

One advantage of falling into Chinju forest is that it is dark. He may have one of his senses handicapped, but he has two others that are stronger. The soldiers are a few metres away and very loud. He could slip away silently and they'd be none the wiser, just as usual.

He picked Tomo's vision off the floor with his good hand and, with no other place to hold it because he needs his right hand to use his sword; slips it into his mouth. The taste of dirt coats his tongue and he has to resist the urge to spit.

He rises to his feet a little too fast and there's the sound of fabric ripping. Kazuha should've probably checked to make sure he'd untangled himself from all the thorns.

Several heads snap in his direction. Kazuha's way too tired to fight– it had been a very harrowing day– but the other option was death. And, as much as he longed to see Tomo again, Kazuha still wanted to see more of the world. So, he readies his blade and pounces.

He sends a gust of wind at them, knocking away their spears. Kazuha has bought himself seconds, seconds he will use to make a run for it.

Kazuha dashes past the trees and jumps over the cliff to the shore. His sword mounts into the ground, taking the brunt of the fall. There, the boat waits for him. The ferryman looks at him, panicked, and urges him on board.

Just then, a spear nosedives at him. The, thankfully, blunt end crashes into his back. It makes him spit out Tomo's vision into the water.

Logically, Kazuha should leave it and mourn the loss later; after all, he's got little time. But, Kazuha, still shaken from losing Tomo a few hours ago, throws himself in. By the time he finds it and swims to the surface, the Shogunate has made it down the beach.

Kazuha turns around and asks the ferryman to book it. Later, he'll realise the few seconds he wasted gave one lucky soldier the opportunity to swipe his vision off his back.

━━━━━━━━━━

When he wakes up, the Traveller is still at his bedside and his skull no longer feels like it's about to be split open. Hesitantly, he sits up and – oof . Kazuha's got cramps, everywhere. He spends the first few minutes after waking up from a coma (?) nursing cramps. And yet, Kazuha is giddy with happiness.

The Traveller, finally lifting her head from his hands, gives him a funny look.

"Good morning? Ah-," he notices the dim orange light filtering through the curtains, "Good Evening? Good Evening."

She's still looking at him weirdly. "You have drool on your face."

"Oh–? I guess I do," Maybe a little too calmly.

"Kazuha you've been comatose for a week."

Well, he did have a lot to remember. Makes sense. Kazuha nods.

"Kazuha how are you so calm–"

━━━━━━━━━━

Kazuha has never been happier to reminisce over the worst days of his life. A blessing, isn't it? That now that he's already mourned, he can peacefully find happiness; Kazuha can peacefully be free.

He doesn't know where he'll go next, but that's the fun part. He'll probably stay with the Crux. Maybe he'll travel for a while with the Traveller ( I seem to befriend a lot of blondes with cryptic and on-the-nose names, Kazuha thinks fondly). He only knows how his journey should end, with him fulfilling his promise to Tomo.

Forgive me love, Kazuha thinks as he places Tomo's vision over his grave and holds Tama for the first time in a year, I'm making you wait a lot longer than expected.

━━━━━━━━━━

When the scent of earth curls in his nostrils, Kazuha knows its time to find shelter. It will rain soon and Kazuha would rather not get soaked for the second time in the same week. It takes time, and convincing, but a villager lets him stay the night. The man is nice, if a little wary of him. The rest of his family is too. That is, until pounding rain pours down from the heavens.

"How did you know that it was going to rain?" The man's son asks him.

"I smelled it," Kazuha says.

The young man's eyes go wide. "Huh? Where did you learn how to do that?"

Kazuha smiles. "I've always had a sharp ear and an even sharper nose."

"That is so cool," he says, dazed. The man offers him a hand. "The name's Tomo, 'cause I'm everybody's friend."

What an admirable way to live, Kazuha thinks and shakes his hand.

━━━━━━━━━━

A/N: Uhhh hi! This is the first time in a WHILE I’ve attempted to post my fics on tumblr. Please let me know if I’m doing this right ^^; This was SO hard to transport to tumblr, I salute y'all who post here regularly.