#zerotxhero

Aenor to Yvair:  "So, do you normally try to outshine everyone or are you just that radiant in general?"        - @zerotxhero

Salladin sent Syrillon: 😈 (iirc it's something about surprising / spooking) - @zerotxhero

Syrillon had been stuck deep in thought as she absentmindedly wandered the Lighthouse. Paced, more than anything. Everything was too much and she wasn't certain going out into a forest to breathe in the fresh air was going to help soothe her mind this time. Not now, at least.

She was so lost in her racing thoughts that she hadn't been paying enough attention to her surroundings— considering this place was in the Fade, there was no guarantee that it was actually safe, and she did her best to always keep her guard up at all times. Apparently, not well enough. She hadn't heard Salladin approaching, nor picked up any sound to clue her into the fact. So when she suddenly leapt out in front of Syrillon to spook her it genuinely caught her off guard.

Instinctively, Syrillon grabbed the lyrium dagger that she had been fiddling with at her hip— and if Salladin hadn't anticipated Syrillon startling and trying to stab her in self defense, things may have been much more different. Thankfully, Salladin managed to catch Syrillon's wrist and redirect the knife before it could break any skin.

"Mythal-enaste, 'din. I could have killed you." A shaky breath leaves the Dalish woman as her grip tightens on the handle of the knife momentarily before Syrillon glances around their immediate surroundings. No one else was outside at the moment. Not that there were many people residing in the Fade with them, but it proved that it had gotten much later than she had thought it was. The idea of sleeping was something Syrillon shrugged and laughed off, not quite fond of the fact that doing just that may lead to another unpleasant run in with the Dread Wolf that now slinked around in her head.

@zerotxhero sent Yvair: "Do I need to give you your present in front of everyone or should we slip away?"

@zerotxhero​ to Yvair: "Varric mentioned that there would be a party upon my arrival, and yet the only thing I got was a dwarf almost tossed at my head. If that was the Seeker's welcoming gift, I'm afraid to see what yours might be."

“You’ll have to forgive the lack of a proper feast and festive music. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough of a forewarning or I’d have been certain you’d be greeted with nothing but the best.” A laugh is offered, though a faint sigh followed suit, “My apologies about Cassandra. Things have been a bit rough around here lately.”

He had been up for most of the night. The moon inched carefully across the sky, dancing in between the stars. He had been drawn to her room earlier in the night & had been unable to sleep... Her words cause a certain sort of ache in the pit of his belly, a longing for peace. It was difficult for him to feel things in the moment. Every day his mind seemed to shift, dragging itself slightly more out of his reach. Ellis had to take potions to help with it, to keep himself grounded... It was something that had taken him a great deal of time to understand.

" I've felt some of it." He admits carefully, though he keeps his gaze on the sky so that he wouldn't have to meet Alina's gaze. It had taken him nearly half a decade to really understand all that had transpired. It had been a long & ugly process that Ellis never wanted to experience again... but it was not one he could have done on his own, despite how terribly he wished he could. There were still so many things passing on the daily, the world seemed as though it could end at every turn. There were still a thousand things that had yet to become real in his mind, Alina being one of them. He thinks of the potion he has to take to keep his emotions in check, the apostate that helped him understand why they were so hard to control, " But I didn't do it on my own. I still don't do it on my own. "

" Sometimes I need help. I just... struggle with the concept. " It's only then that he meets Alina's gaze. It was hard to grasp that she had entered his life. She was one of the only people he had ever met that had ever had such an intimate understanding of pain. It was easy to trust her, but it was clear Alina hurt just as bad as he did. She had been given less time to process it. He wondered what ghosts haunted her. He feels his mouth feel very dry when he speaks & he grads his gaze back to the stars, " But I'm glad I don't have to do it alone. You don't have to do it alone either. "

They had found themselves in his office, a quiet space in the depths of Skyhold. He had been granted a space far from the general action of the ancient castle as he preferred to keep to himself for the most part. The world was in a state of chaos of their own making & it could fall apart at any moment. He had asked Alina to join him there, to talk about... them. Whatever they were, it was becoming an addiction. An indulgence that Ellis could hardly keep himself from thinking of. He wanted to know what their future may hold, hard as it was to see.

He could hardly keep up with what was happening around them, let alone what may happen next... But she made him want to know. The conversation had been going on for what felt like hours when he reached out to her. She was only an inch smaller, but he wanted to be able to look her right in the eyes. Ellis grabbed her by her hips, sitting Alina on his desk so that she might meet his gaze.

He cared about her, damn it all. Things were easy with her. Too easy. Time passed gently when they were together. She provided a sort of light he had not felt in his heart in nearly a decade & it made him hungry. He places a hand at the nape of her neck, pressing his forehead to hers. His breath feels very heavy. They were so many things, they could be so many more... when had his heart begun to beat so quickly?

" I think I love you. " The words spill from his lips too quickly. He wants to regret them & yet he can't... he thinks they are true. They must be.

A swarm of thought had brought him to Alina’s room. If he hadn’t come to Skyhold, he may never have met her... but he had heard stories of the Champion. Both of them had played a part in the state of the world & the chaos that had filled it in their absence. It felt strange to be looking the effects of their actions in the face, to be held accountable for their hand in the state of the world. It was not unusual for Ellis to keep himself awake at night, feeding into any fears that dared tear at the edges of his mind. He would often watch the stars inch by outside of his window until they were eventually consumed by daybreak. There was always something in the shadows, some kind of danger lurking around the corner. He felt there was always something waiting for him to let his guard down, ready to pounce on a moment of weakness.

In the short time the two of them had been at Skyhold, Ellis had grown fond of Alina. There was a sort of understanding between the two that he did not often experience. It was daunting, at best. To care about someone was to leave himself open, vulnerable. It left him fantasizing & catastrophizing every ‘ what if ‘ that dared cross the forefront of his mind.  Her words stung, the feeling igniting some confusion. He wish he could express the fear that ate at his stomach, worming through his insides & constricting his lungs. This was precisely why he had not brought anyone when he had left, looking to rid himself of the calling. 

          “ What else am I supposed to do? “ He asks, the words making his throat burn uncomfortably. It was an honest question... there were demons falling from the sky & darkspawn on the horizon. that wasn’t even accounting for anyone either of them had made angry along the way, wishing for their deaths... He couldn’t stop thinking about her, what could happen to her if he wasn’t there to protect her. She was capable of protecting herself, he knew... but Ellis didn’t think she should have to. She had been through plenty & deserved to rest. 

       “ There are better ways to spend my time, “ The words crawl from between his teeth, there was a tension about them. Ellis had sulked off to some dark corner in Skyhold, but it seemed as though every inch of the castle was occupied. It was quickly becoming overwhelming. He had stayed out of the eye of the public for nearly half a decade, dedicating himself to a handful of his own goals. Among them he wanted to find an end to the taint, which would hopefully give him enough time to find his son. The people around him now seemed to do nothing more than remind him of the passing of time. He was wasting his limited time wallowing in his own bitterness & had little else to give. 

The girl before him was a legend, same as him. The champion of Kirkwall had played a bigger part in the current state of the world than anyone else in Thedas.. He knew she likely had a weight on her shoulders he would never understand, just as she would never understand his. He takes a deep breath, reigning in his emotions. Now was not the time to lash out, not when she seemed so genuine.