#zarryfic

So, I just finished reading this Zarry fix "Hand In Hand" by @this-onegoes and I loved it!!!! I'm not sure why I hadn't read this one yet. I love the way you write and describe different situations. It's always so captivating. And the end always makes me cry. Like a good type of cry...I loved the way the ending was open.

And the word that constantly caught my attention was "MAGNETS". YES! THEY WERE FUCKING MAGNETS!

Thank you for existing and sharing your stories with us Grace!

I’m Dating the BAD BOY [I]

Zayn’s P.O.V

“Ok you’re Dismiss” Mrs. Snow said to all of us, our teacher.

  Everyone started to pack their things, some of them chatting while putting their stuffs inside their bag, one of the girls talking to someone in the phone which I think is her boyfriend; the boys had already left the room.

  When I see the room was almost empty I sigh then stood up and started packing my stuff inside, when my stuff was already pack, I turn around and started walking out of the room with my sketch book in my hands.

  I was walking through the hall going to my locker to put some things, when I can see my locker hall I sped up my pace a bit, there was a lot of people in here walking I bump into someone who I do not know cause I did not even look it was, I just mumble a ‘sorry’.

  When I finally reach my locker, I enter the code and open it, I got my bag from my back and zip it open to get the notebooks I need to put in the locker, when I was done putting them, I pull my bag back to my back and close the door to my locker.

  “Hi!” Someone greeted, which cause me to jump a bit in shock, I saw Niall leaning next to my locker.

  “You scared me” I said adjusting my breathing, he just giggle.

  “I know” He gave me a giggling smile, I just smile with him.

  “So, lunch?” I offered.

  “I’m already on it” He said then grab my wrist and pull me with him to go to the lunch hall.

  Cause of his clumsiness we bump into some people, I just muttered ‘sorry’.

   This is Niall my best friend since we were born, my parents and his parents are friends, we grew up together, and he’s like my only friend in this school. We go to the same school every year, and it’s our last year of being high school and we’re planning on going to a same university together, some may say that me and Niall are a couple, we just giggle and ignore them.

  I mean I’m Bi, but I’m still in focus of my studies, relationship is the last thing on what I’m gonna do.

  When we reach the Lunch hall, it was pack with students Niall and I were looking for a free table for us to sit, and then I saw one.

  “Ni, over there” I pointed at the free table, he look at where I’m pointing and his face lit up a bit.

  “Come on” He said and pull me through the crowd, Niall just really loves to eat and he can’t eat well when he’s standing, he really wants to eat sitting.

  When we reach the table Niall put his hands on the table, but was smack away with another hand.

  It was them

  The Popular ones, the Bad ones.

  I can feel Niall tense a bit, who wouldn’t? They are the Bad guys after all, who wouldn’t be afraid of them?

  Me?

  “This is our table” One of them said, with a brown hair with light blue eyes, there were actually five of them.

  One of them also had a brown Hair but he has Brown eyes and he has a fix biceps which you see from his tight t-shirt, and there was this curly one who is cute but one thing caught my eyes and it was his green ones which I found really beautiful.

  The curly one caught me staring at him and I can see the smirk in his face forming, I raise my eyebrow a bit, I just shake my head a bit and continue to look at the other two.

   But I did not know the others looks cause Niall speaks up.

  “But we got here first, that means we should sit here” Niall pointed out, his voice a bit stern but I know he’s scared a bit. I frown.

  “Soo? Does it have your name on it?” The Blue eyed man spat back, his voice getting annoyed.

  And I think it’s my cue to cut them off before things got out of hands, I sigh and stand in front of Niall.

  “Niall just leave it, I’m sure there are some of tables that aren’t taken yet” I said softly trying to stop him from continuing his argue with the Blue eyed one, and I think it works.

  He sighs then speaks up.

  “Ok” He uttered.

  “Yeah go listen to your boyfriend” The blue eyed man spat again, I can feel my blood boiling up but I control it.

  “He’s not my boyfriend” I corrected him, glancing at him and look for another spot to eat.

  “I found a table in there, you can eat there” A husky voice but I find sweet spoke up, I look and saw that the curly one said it with his hands on his pockets, his friends look at him with a wide eyes.

  I can’t help but smile a bit, our eyes lock at each other, the smirk still placed in his face I can feel my cheeks heat up.

  “Let’s go” I snap out when Niall spoke up and pushing me to find the table where the curly said.

  “Thanks” I mumble and he gives a smile, I smile and pace my walk with Niall.

  “Harry what was that?” I hear the blue eyed man spat, but I did not hear another thing because me and Niall were getting far from them.

  So His name is Harry, cute name.

  -

  I swallow my food and grab my drink and sip, we are actually just eating for like 3 minutes.

  My thoughts had come about what happen earlier, that was actually my and Nialls encounter with them and it was really true that it’s tensing.

  But I wasn’t actually bothered about it, because I was just looking at the curly boy I can’t seem to get him out off my mind, I really find him attractive he has his way of attracting someone.

  “Zayn you know it’s not good to like them” Niall suddenly speaks up, I snap out of thoughts and look at him.

  “What do you mean?” I said in confusion but I think I know what he means.

  “You know what I mean, it’s not good to like them” He said, and I look down and raise it up again to look at him.

  “Who said that I like them” I said it’s true I don’t like them, except for the curly one.

  “I know you don’t like them, but I know you like one of them” Damn! He always knows what I’m thinking.

  That’s the thing about Niall you can’t lie to him, he can tell whether you’re telling the truth or not, so it’s best if you just tell the truth.

  “Ok, I guess I like one of them but it’s not like, like like, it’s like …like?” I said and I can see Niall getting confused, and so did I.

  “What?” He asks.

  “I mean … I like … I only the curly one” I confess looking down biting my lower lip.

  “I know, and I think it’s best if you stop liking him, you know they’re bad and I think you know that, that is not right for you” He explain, I look up and he is still eating while explaining.

  “Ni, we don’t eve know them, we don’t him. We’ll maybe we know that the blue eyed man is annoying and he gets through our nerves, but we don’t know Harry maybe he’s not bad maybe he’s not like the others o-” I did not even finish cause he cut me off.

  “Or maybe he’s trying to be nice cause he wants something from you” He said, and that words hit me like a train, His words woke me up from truth.

  His right, they’re the Popular ones, the Bad ones.

  Which means they are no good for us, they’ll just use us, treat us like shit, Maybe Niall is right, maybe Harry is just like them, just like the blue eyed man.

  I really want to believe Niall but there is something in me that is telling me to don’t stop liking on Harry.

  *****

  Harry’s P.O.V

“Harry what was that?” Louis asks his tone getting piss, but I kinda ignore him cause I was still busy watching Zayn walking off, his hips swaying a bit, which I found hot.

  I know Zayn since I transfer here, but there is a deeper and a longer story to which why I know him.

  “Harry!” Louis half shouted, I winced at his loudness, I shot him a glare.

  “What!!” I spat my voice getting pissed, he step back away a bit.

  “Nothing”

  It was silent till Liam spoke up.

  “Let’s just eat, yeah?” He offered and all of them nod, they all took a sit and I followed.

  They started to eat their lunch, I was still thinking about what happen earlier, I feel bad a bit when I saw Zayn frowned, he shouldn’t be frowning he should always smile, but at least Louis did not argue with Zayn, cause if Louis did I would have punch him.

  But wait why am i thinking about them, or about Zayn i shouldn't be thinking about him, i dont care about him.

  They are having a conversation I can feel someone looking at me, I look and see it was Louis, I give him a confuse look.

  I sometimes find it weird when Louis looks at me like that, he’s like, he’s mad or pissed of me or maybe there is something more.

  I shrugged the thought off and flew my thoughts back to Zayn.

  I was looking around finding him, but I couldn’t find him. I look at the table I offered and it was empty, maybe they left.

  Again why am i  thinking about him, shouldn't be, i shrugged it off.

  I sigh and look down at my untouched food, I never realize that I haven’t eaten yet, but I don’t feel like eating.

  “Harry, why aren’t you eating your food?” Louis asks, the other boys stop their doings and look at me.

  “What’s it to ya?” I ask back, slightly annoyed.

  “I’m just worried, you seem a bit off” He said, I look at him.

  I grab my back pack and stood up and exiting the Lunch Hall, I ignore their calls.

  I’m just annoyed at Louis, first his furious then he become concern, I just hate it.

  As I was walking through the halls I bump into someone, which cause him to fall down, but I caught his wrist and pull him up and wrap my arms around him.

  I wrap my arms around him, his breath slowing down getting back to normal, I smell his scent and cause me to melt, and I totally know who this is. I rub circles at his back to sooth him. I feel him relax under my touch, his head resting on my chest, which I found comfortable.

  A few minutes after he pull away, he look up and met with my green ones to his brown ones, his widens in shock, my arms still around him.

  I was about to speak up when he pull away from my arms, he mumble a ‘Thank you’ then walk off.

  That was weird

  I mean I know it was awkward, but it was good at the same time, the way when I grab his wrist there was a spark in there erupting, but when I wrap my arms around him that’s the time when the sparks getting bigger and stronger.

  But wait why am I even thinking, I should've even help him.

  I snap out of some of my thoughts and something came out of my mind, that I know I shouldn't be thinking.

  I want him,

   I want His brown eyes, his fit body, his pink lips, I want them all.

  I’m gonna have him.

  Why am i having this feeling?

  *****

  Zayn’s P.O.V

  A few minutes after I pull away, I look up and met with some green eyes, it was Harry.

  Shit!

  I pull away from his arms, mumble a ‘thank you’ and walk off.

  That was so awkward, but that was also worth it, deep inside me I’m so happy but some ways I can’t get Nialls words of me.

  I can’t show Harry that I like him, and besides I’m like a nerd guy, and as Niall said he’s bad.

  Harry is Bad,

  I keep that in my mind, but there is another thought that keeps on bugging me.

  Is Harry really Bad?

    That’s the word that keeps on running on my mind, is Harry really Bad?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I’m Dating the BAD BOY

I was just a nerd,

  I was just a normal teen age boy,

  I was just suppose to help him,

Nothing more,

Nothing less.

  I was just a Nobody,

  Till he showed up,

He made me realize that I can be somebody,

His personality made me strong.

  He was just a Bad Boy,

And I was just a Nerd.

    Now

I’m His nerd

And

He's my Bad Boy

    Which means,

I’m Dating the BAD BOY

__________________

Relationship(s): Harry Styles\Zayn Malik

Rating: Mature

Summary:  Much-Undo-About-Nothing-meets-Hipster-meets-Romeo-and-Juliet AU set in Tel Aviv where Harry’s in a band, Zayn’s got too many shitty jobs and after they accidently hook up with a pair of flatmates during a heated end-of-summer party they somehow chose the worst person to fall in love with in a world where history means more than people - each other. 

N\A: This story is basically my own, little tribute to the beautiful, amazing place that is Israel where I’ve had the immense luck of spending a great summer in a few years ago and hope to go back to soon. I don’t own anything, this is all purely fictional and doesn't represent the real life preferences or relationships of any members of One Direction in any way. 

Sountrack (8 tracks) under the cut

Zayn noticed the change in Harry. He is no longer the sweet sixteen year old boy with his cheeky dimples and bright giggly smile. Sometime between London and New York, Harry transformed into a man-boy of a rock star, a reluctant bewildered sex symbol to millions. Harry switches between the two personas the way he switches his bandana. One minute he’s an adorable affectionate boy demanding cuddles from everyone, the next he’s a walking talking motherfucker, fearless and dangerous.

It started off innocently enough. Kisses on the cheeks, pinches on the bum, hugging and tugging became part of their band’s naughty rituals while performing on stage; using the stage as their very own makeshift playground where all hell breaks loose.

Sometime between the Big Apple and the City of Angels, however, Zayn cant help shake the feeling that Harry is hell bent on seducing him, their innocent monkey acts spiraling into risque monkey business. The way Harry kisses him on stage felt strangely sensual, sometimes right at the corner of his mouth, their lips a hairline apart. He would often wrap his arm around Zayn’s shoulder and whisper into his ear, grazing his lips ever so subtly against Zayn’s neck or the shell of his ear. Pinches on the bum turned into full blown punishing smacks and off stage Harry’s hand lingers on Zayn’s upper thigh, rubbing it too little too deliberately slow. The undisguised desire he sees in Harry’s eyes sends shivers down his spine, Harry smirking smugly at Zayn’s discomfort.

-x-

Harry couldn’t help himself. Lord knows he has tried to stay away from the temptation that is Zayn. But the more he denied himself of Zayn, the more Zayn becomes his undoing. Every flutter of his ridiculous eyelashes felt increasingly like whispers of lust, luring him closer. His smile hypnotizing. His soft red lips ever so enticing and seductive, his voice sultry smooth. Its all too much of a deadly combination that has slowly yet surely disintegrated Harry’s every last willpower. The trouble is, Zayn is frustratingly as straight as an arrow and completely oblivious as to how Harry’s whole world shifts by his mere presence, how he becomes the center of Harry’s gravity, the only guy he sees even when surrounded by a sea of thousands of bodies, hell, especially in a sea of thousands.

Harry can’t recall when he first started falling for Zayn. Maybe it was the time Zayn held his hand when Harry decided to get his first ever tattoo. Maybe it was on that first day Zayn came back with that stupid streak of blond in his luscious raven hair or during one of the many nights they shared hotel beds, spooning by the morning if he was lucky. Perhaps it was when he woke up and overnight Zayn turned into this raw sexy brooding bone chiseled god he is today. Whenever it was, Harry fell hard, with no breaking ground in sight. He is persistent and malicious in his pursuit of Zayn, he doesn’t see he has any other option.

So Harry did what he does best. He flirts with Zayn shamelessly, touching any part of his body any chance he has, planting stolen kisses to his neck whenever exposed. Zayn never stops him. Sometimes when Harry’s feeling extra needy and gets extra frisky, he would only ask, “You okay Harry..?” with an incredulous grin, his tongue stuck between his teeth, his favorite smile of Zayn’s. When he remembers to breathe again, his answers are always the same “Could be better Zayn, you could definitely make it better..” in his deep raspy voice that does nothing to hide his crude intentions, his eyes gaze longingly at Zayn’s lips.

Zayn is clueless on how to deal with Harry’s sudden profound infatuation. He thinks its best to leave Harry to ride out his hormonal teenage phase in his own time. It is just a bit of harmless form of flattery after all. The other boys tease them about it but he figured its not all that much different to how affectionate he is with Liam, Louis or Niall and its not a big secret how extra touchy Harry can get. Without any restraints though, Harry’s advances become more brazen and bolder as the days pass.

-x-

When Harry arrives at the club, he is escorted straight to the closed off VIP section reserved for their band. He had told Louis for the boys to head to the club first without him when Louis stopped by his hotel room on his way out earlier that night and said he would meet them there later as he was running late. They all made plan to go out together since its their day off tomorrow.

It had taken him longer than usual to get ready. He was in the shower for almost an hour, came twice from jerking himself off as his mind replayed the scene from earlier in the evening, how he had slipped his hand down Zayn’s jeans and groped his bare cock on stage right before they started on the last song of the night. They have all seen each other naked before so he knows Zayn’s huge but he was shocked that just the feel of it in his hand alone almost made him cum right there and then, in front of their screaming fans. Harry’s only saving grace was that it happened toward the end of the show.

Harry took extra special care on his appearance for the night out. He tamed his wild curls just enough to lose some of its cute appeal because cute does not equate to sexy and he needs it to be all about sex tonight. He had changed his outfits five times before he decided on a black designer skinnies that hugged his bum perfectly, paired with a dark navy shirt with white trimmings, left unbuttoned down to his lower chest, the dark shirt a perfect contrast to his lightly tanned chest. His expensive black boots completed the look.

He looks smoking hot and he knows it. His dark outfit gives him an enigmatic aura and intensified his sparkling green eyes. He wants tonight to be perfect. He is a man on a mission to capture the heart of a creature of heaven, an angel in human disguise, so he’d be damned if he didn’t put his best foot forward.

"Heyya Haz. Glad you finally made it!" Niall shouts over the loud music.

"Hey boys sorry I’m late.."

"Well about bloody time! What took you so long? You already missed out on Liam getting boob flashed twice!" Louis shrieks out. Harry couldn’t tell whether he’s angry or excited. Louis obviously wasted no time downing down the liquor.

"Where’s Liam?" Harry asks as his eyes roam over the dance floor.

If he happens to be scanning the crowd for a certain good looking raven haired lad, the prey to his evil plan, instead of Liam, then no one has to know.

"I said you already missed it you ignorant fool! Now he’s over at the bar buying the girls a drink for their…. ‘effort’." Louis grins obscenely.

Harry turns his head to the bar and sees Liam laughing at something one of the girls said. He, however, still has not sighted the said prey.

He pours himself a glass of drink from one of the vodka bottles being chilled in the ice bucket on the fancy glass coffee table, sits down on the chaise lounge sofa opposite Louis and Niall and as casually as possible asks of Zayn’s whereabout.

"Zayn didn’t come. He said he wanted to stay in and chill out in his room. Said something about calling Perrie." Niall volunteers.

Despite his best effort to remain indifferent to this damning piece of information, Louis saw the split second frown that falls on his face, the slight droop of his shoulders and jumps on him.

"Ooooh, you didnt get all dressed-up just for Zayn did you, Harry?"

"What?? Of course not…I was just…I didn’t get…Shut it Lou!"

Louis laughs his head off.Harry’s exasperated, his cheeks feel red hot and he is suddenly overcame with the need to get stupid drunk because he feels like a fool.

Of course Zayn stayed in. How did he not think to check this vital piece before kicking his plan into action??

"Here drink this Harold, you look like you need this." Louis, who doesn’t even bother trying to hide his smirk, places two shot glasses of whiskey mix in front of him, a whole lot stiffer than the flavored vodka that Harry just gulped down.

The liquid burns his throat, he hates it but still he tells Louis, “Keep ‘em coming.”

Tonight, however, being drunk only brings out the melancholy side of him. The alcohol doesn’t give him the contentment he craves. So, just before he gets properly plastered, Harry pesters Paul into giving him Zayn’s spare key.

"I don’t want to hear you causing any trouble, understood?" Paul warns him sternly, Zayn’s always been Paul’s favorite, although Harry firmly believes Paul would deny it til his dying breath.

-x-

Zayn is sitting outside on the balcony of his hotel room, puffing away on his cigarettes, looking out at the dark starless night. His band mates had all gone out clubbing after the concert but he opted to stay in if only to distance himself from Harry.

Earlier that night Harry had practically molested him on stage, thankfully he had somehow managed to make it look like they were just goofing around like they often do. It had been a close call but Harry’s antics were beginning to agitate Zayn.

He had just finally recovered from his most recent cheating scandal, he can’t imagine he would survive another round of media brutality especially if it involves Harry-beloved-Styles.

Restless, he goes back into his bedroom, not bothering with the lights. He lies in bed and blinks a few times trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. The darkness calms him, it makes him feel invisible even just for a while. The quietness, however, was deafening especially with all the rackets in his mind.

He’s not blind. Harry is an extremely attractive guy, he’s not going to lie and Zayn loves him to death, he can’t imagine he could ever not. They have been through so much together and shared so much. The late night chats when neither of them can sleep, the parties they would sneak off to and their mini adventures they often disappear off on, exploring everything and anything under the sun that amuses them.

When Zayn gets in one of his moods, usually due to work related exhaustion or from missing his family back home, Harry knows to just sit by him, watching him smoke or lie down on the grass beside him watching the clouds go by in silence. Harry risks it sometimes, risks getting mauled by Zayn, when he gets the sudden urge and hugs Zayn like he’s terrified Zayn will vaporize right in front of his very eyes. Sometimes Zayn pushes him off after three seconds, other times, he just lets Harry hold him to his heart’s content.

When Zayn starts talking again after the long uninterrupted silence, his voice soft and languid, he always talks about the most random things like the colors of the autumn leaves that fall all around and on them or how he imagines the clouds taste like at sunset or their constant never ending argument about who will win the battle between Batman and Superman. Silly pointless little things most times, still, it never fails to make Harry breathe a little more easily, knowing Zayn’s soul has been somewhat restored, albeit temporarily. And Harry always enjoys listening about those silly little things, always intrigued by the random thoughts that cross Zayn’s mind.

Everything goes quiet again the few seconds before they step out of their fantasy bubble. Caramelized eyes lock with crystallized greens expressing so much more than could possibly be said out loud because words are not nearly enough. Gentle swallow-tattooed hand caressing the small of his back further solidifying the delicate sentiments that words failed as they walk away from their personal sanctuary, matching discreet intimate smiles on their faces.

Zayn’s always there when Harry needs him as well, always knows when the time calls for it too, even without Harry needing to say a word. He always sees it in Harry’s eyes, in the way the glimmer dims. It doesn’t take a lot for Harry to bounce back. The easiest, most foolproof way is to poke Harry’s cheek with his finger, in his attempt to physically force his dimples to materialize. It annoys the hell out of Harry but he’s rarely able to hide the face-splitting-eyes-twinkling-grin, that shows both his dimples out in all of its shining glory, his favorite smile of Harry’s, as Harry runs away from him and tries his damnest yet failing to maintain his begrudgingly annoyed facade. This method of his always works. Almost always. And if it doesn’t, Zayn would run his fingers through Harry’s hair until he’s purring, eyes close, his head lolling onto the curve of Zayn’s shoulder, a heavenly smile on his face, relax and pliant.

Occasionally, Harry will seek Zayn himself, demanding cuddle time and pleading Zayn to sing him his favorite songs, pleads non-stop until Zayn complies. And Zayn does. Drops everything and duly complies.

Because it’s Harry.

And Harry gets what Harry wants.

So Zayn sings the songs he demands. He forgets the lyrics sometimes, messing up and changing the words around and Harry would scold him especially if he happens to be singing Shania Twain’s You’re Still The One. Oh boy does he get angry when Zayn messes up the lyrics on that. After a while, Harry starts singing along to the songs and they will be arguing, singing, chuckling through their non sense made up lyrics. By the end of it, Harry’s back to being the big bouncy over grown boy that everyone loves to love.

Does anyone really have the power to say no to a pleading Harry? If someone does, then that person must possess stone icy cold heart. It’s not an attribute one should proudly parade around.

Harry grabs and kisses Zayn on the cheek, big wet loud smacks that has Zayn beaming wide and glorious as he watches Harry bounces away, carefree, like the butterfly that he is, knowing he made it happen. Erases away the rough crooked edges and paints him anew. It doesn’t matter to him that they are not seen as close to the general public, that their friendship is often time too easily dismissed. They don’t know the real Zayn and Harry. The real Harry and Zayn. No, he doesn’t require external assurance.The little quiet ways Harry always finds his way back to his side when it counts, in public and in private, no matter how far, how long, where and with whom he may have bounced off to, are reassuring enough.

In spite of it all, Zayn’s not gay. He is devoted to Perrie and madly in love with her. It has nothing to do with gender. It’s everything to do with everything exclusively Harry. Zayn’s Harry - the real Harry when its just them two, the uncharted side that no one else gets to see, one of a kind, the one and only, the only one. He doesn’t find any other guy attractive.

Harry’s the exception. The only exception.

And presumably because of it all too, he doesn’t quite trust the animal instinct in him where Harry is concerned. He does not want, cannot afford to jeopardize their bond. They are so perfectly in sync at the best of times, it scares the hell out of him. Their bond runs deep, ingrained in their veins, much deeper than with any of the other boys. Harry is his rock just as much as he is Harry’s anchor in this crazy roller coaster ride that is their boyband life. So to say Zayn’s agitated with Harry’s increasing intensity is an understatement.

Zayn reaches for his phone from the bedside table, scrolling through his phone book for someone who can provide him a distraction, then bangs his buffoon head against the headboard when his heart treacherously skips a beat when his finger hovers over Harry’s name. He dials Perrie after much contemplation. Perrie is her usual upbeat self and talks non-stop. It’s the kind of conversation that requires little input from him, the kind he needs. It feels like he’s talking to one of his best mates instead of his lover and he is grateful for it because he’s not in the best chatty mood, so as bad as it sounds, the ugly truth is, even sweet talking his own girlfriend feels like too much of an effort right now.

"You seem extra quiet today love. Is everything alright?" Perrie asks after a while, his aloofness did not go unnoticed.

"Yeah, I’m good babe. Things have just been very hectic.." Zayn says unconvincingly.

"You sure? You sound like something’s bothering you. You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

Zayn can hear the worry in her voice and feels guilty. “It’s nothing. I’m just completely knackered. Gonna sleep in a bit, just wanted to hear your voice.” Zayn sighs, trying his best to placate her. They exchange good night kisses and their i-love-yous shortly after.

He does not want to discuss Harry with Perrie. What would he say anyway? What if it was just all in his head? He has no intention of putting Perrie through unnecessary pain, especially a non-existent one.

He tosses and turns and curses himself countless of times before he finally drifts off to dreamland.

His agony seeps in through his dream though, further blurring the fine line of what is real and what isn’t. He was in an unfamiliar surrounding, tall trees all around, cold and dark with only the bright full moon lighting the path. All he knew was that he was running like his life depended on it. He can see a figure running ahead of him but it was too dark to tell if its of someone he knew. He felt so out of breath, as though he had been running all night. His heart was pounding so hard that it felt like it was only mere seconds away from exploding as he continued gulping for the harsh cold night air. Yet Zayn kept running out of the sheer blind terror that was coursing through his body. He belatedly realized that someone else was running behind him too and crying out his name. He couldn’t be certain if he was chasing someone or being chased.

The figure in front of him slowed down to a stop near the edge of the cliff and Zayn was finally able to identify the platinum blonde haired girl and see her tears streaked face. She fell to her knees as though she could no longer bear the heavy weights on her shoulders, tears still streaming down her cheeks. The pain evident on her face as she looked forlornly down the edge of the cliff, into the raging sea below, yearned to be swallowed whole.

She looked so broken. Zayn felt as though he had been stabbed with a knife right to the very core of his heart. He knew without a shadow of doubt he’s the cause of her misery. He dropped down on the ground behind her and pulled her into his arms, consoled her as best he could, clueless as to what he had done, how, when and where things had gone so awfully wrong, as Perrie clung to him for dear life, begging him not to leave her.

Right on cue, the curly haired man-boy appeared, gasping for air. Harry was the person who had chased after him. Harry took in the sight before him, of two bodies desperately clung to one another they appeared to be of one. It made him go insane. Harry pulled at his curls, trying to numb the pain of his jagged broken heart and screamed his lungs out so vehemently it shook Zayn to his core. Even with just the moonlight, Zayn could see clearly the turmoils as he met Harry’s crystal green eyes. It changed from fury to remorse to rapid despair, how equally painful it was for him to witness Harry crumbled when he searched Zayn’s amber eyes with unconcealed love and palpable hope only to find his heavy with rue and laced with sympathy.

"No.." Harry said in a state on denial. He was finding it hard to process what had just transpired, the silent yet equally resounding rejection.

"This cant be happening…" he had muttered quietly in disbelief as he took a step backward, dejected, his world upside down.

Zayn’s piercing scream splintered through the night sky. He ran and dropped flat to the ground on his stomach at the very edge of the cliff, crying his lungs out in vain and in pure desperation, frantically reaching out his hand for Harry, powerless, as he watched Harry tumble into the wind, a blissful smile on his face, as though Zayn’s desperate cries enveloped him in a blanket of warmth sealed with love - finally needing him, right before the water engulfed him.

-x-

Harry enters Zayn’s room as quietly as possible. It’s half past two in the morning and as he had correctly guessed Zayn’s already in deep sleep. He looks at the sleeping boy in bed, a face so beautiful it must have been lovingly molded to perfection by God himself. He has a sadness look to his face, beautiful but sad and before Harry could stop himself, he kisses him lightly on the lips, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty yet wanting the sadness to disappear.

Sighing, he removes his clothes until he is just in his boxer briefs, slips himself gently under the cover and was about to cuddle up to the beautiful boy in bed when Zayn’s hand shot outward so suddenly, grasping the air and crying out Harry’s name in such succumbing grief it makes Harry shiver.

"Zayn. Zayn, I’m here babe…shhh it’s okay. Wake up…I’m right here Zee." Harry grabs Zayn’s outstretched hand, which Zayn instantly grips on to so bone-crushingly hard, and hugs Zayn’s back to his chest, spooning him close. He wraps his arms tightly around Zayn’s body, rocks him softly out of his bad dream as he continues to whisper soothingly into Zayn’s ear.

"Harreh..?" Zayn turns his head to his side, glassy eyed, voice wrecked, brain muddled from his dream.

"Yeah, it’s me babe." Harry says kissing his cheek. Zayn instinctively squeezes his hand in response so Harry wraps him even tighter to his body.

Zayn drops his head back onto his pillow. The dream had felt too real. He feels disoriented, not to mention emotionally and physically exhausted from it. Harry is holding him in his arms protectively, as though Harry’s afraid he would fall to pieces if he isn’t. And Zayn has no doubt that he would. He is also too drained to process how and why Harry ended up in his bed or that if he should.

Resigned, Zayn relaxes his tensed body and basks in the warmth and comfort Harry provides. Their fingers remain intertwined. Harry lets out a relieved sigh in return and keeps on stroking Zayn’s arm soothingly with his free hand, planting quick kisses on his bare shoulder. Both boys with heavy thoughts in their minds.

"Do you want to tell me what it was about babe?" Harry asks in a slow whisper before dipping his head to kiss the silver fern tattoo at the back of Zayn’s neck. He can feel Zayn tenses back up underneath his lips but instead of pulling away, Harry keeps kissing it again and over again, soft open mouth kisses from the very top of the tattoo right at the base of Zayn’s neck, right down to the bottom of it on his upper back, repeatedly until Zayn visibly relaxes again.

"The way you cried out my name…" Harry tries a second time, kissing the side of Zayn’s neck, reveling in the feel of the pulse vibrating against his lips, "..nearly broke my heart." Zayn remains silent but Harry takes comfort in the fact that at least he no longer cringes away.

Harry loosens his hold on Zayn’s waist, rolls him flat on his back while Harry’s on his side propping himself up on his left arm. He cups the side of Zayn’s face and forces the caramel brown eyes to meet his own green. Harry realizes in that moment there isn’t much of anything he wouldn’t do for this boy, would have done anything it takes to banish the sorrow away from those beautiful warm bambi eyes. He suddenly feels very protective of him. Harry may be younger but physically he is bigger and taller. And right here right now, the way Zayn curls up against him, so fragile, he wants nothing more than to shield him from pain and harm. He could get used to this, the idea of being Zayn’s guardian angel. His heart burst with some kind of wonderful at the thought.

"Talk to me Zee." Harry begs, kissing his lips softly. "I need to know what’s hurting you, babe." Harry continues to implore, his green eyes tainted with genuine concern.

Maybe it was Harry’s loving kisses, maybe it was his gentle eyes, maybe it was the utter fear he felt in his dream at losing Harry, maybe it was all those combined because Zayn couldn’t fathom his sudden overwhelming desire to be consumed by all that is Harry. He desperately needs the assurance that Harry is alive, needs to feel the beat of his heart under his fingers, his warm breath on his skin.

Zayn reaches up to caress Harry’s face ever so tenderly before placing one hand on Harry’s bare chest to feel his heart beat. It completely wrecks Harry when he sees the unspoken words of profound torment through the cracks in the mask of warm amber heart eyes gazing up to him as though they are trying to memorize every single line, learn every last detail, thumb ghosting over his bottom lips. That’s when Harry lost it. Lost the will to hold back. He crashes his lips to Zayn’s and devours him, trying to melt deeper into Zayn. They kiss with an abandoned desperation, wild and frantic, the most intense kiss he has ever experienced and Harry is sure if he stops he would die.

"I need you Zayn.." Harry murmurs.

"I need you to feel me. Don’t fight me babe, please don’t fight this.." Harry whispers breathlessly against Zayn’s lips, while pulling off Zayn’s boxers as he moves on top on the older boy. Both of them let out involuntary moans when Zayn’s cock presses up in between them. Harry licks his fingers, attaching his lips back to Zayn’s and carefully inserts his middle finger inside Zayn’s virginal hole.

"Har-ry.." Zayn arches up at the sudden intrusion and gasps, fists clutching Harry’s curls. Harry whispers sweet nothings to Zayn ear, moving his finger in and out purposefully, not sparing Zayn any window of doubt to cross his still blurred out mind.

Zayn lets out a deep groan when Harry inserts a second finger and starts curling them and scissoring him after a couple more strokes. Harry’s cock twitches at the sound. It’s unbelievable how painfully hard he is.

"Fuck Harry." Zayn has never felt so out of control.

Harry’s lips never leave Zayn. Harry grapples around the beside table in search for a condom while drowning Zayn in wet kisses all over his face, his neck, his collarbones, his chest. Doesn’t want to risk breaking him out of their trance. Harry removes his fingers and line the head of his cock at Zayn’s entrance. He kisses Zayn deeply and passionately once more. Zayn already feels boneless under him as he tries to catch up with the new and foreign exhilaration infiltrating his system.

"This is going to hurt a little bit baby" Harry mutters against Zayn’s skin, holding him tight, as the head of his cock penetrates the entrance. He feels Zayn trashing violently beneath him at the pain of being stretched open as he slowly pushes into Zayn.

"Fuck Zayn. You’re so fucking tight…so hot." Harry groans. With the last few inches left, he thrusts fully into Zayn. Harry covers Zayn’s mouth with his own and swallows Zayn’s scream, his nails digging into Harry’s back. Harry remains still giving Zayn time to adjust to his cock, wiping off the small tears that pools in Zayn eyes.

He moves his hips again when Zayn begins to kiss him back, slipping his cock all the way out until only the tip is left inside, angles Zayn’s hip and slide back in slowly, bottoming out until his whole thickness is completely buried inside Zayn, then pushes even further in.

"Ohh fuck." Zayn moans, eyes closed, savoring the deliciousness of being completely filled up sweeping through his body.He had always thought he’d get more pleasure from fucking someone instead of being fucked but fucking hell Harry’s dick feels fucking amazing inside him.

Harry pulls out again then he stops and doesn’t push back in.

"Harryyy please…" Zayn whimpers, his voice strains with apprehension.

"Open your eyes baby, I want to see you." Harry murmurs softly against his lips, tasting and opening them with his tongue.

When Zayn did, seeing his amber eyes dilated and dark, glistening with passion, he thrusts hard into Zayn in one quick move hitting his prostate, imprinting his finger prints onto Zayn’s hips. They will definitely be bruised for days.

'Fucckkk..oh goddd..” Zayn's moans barely audible, his back arches off the bed, head thrown back, eyes fluttering open, his voice stuck in his throat. He had no idea what just happened but by God he had never felt more insatiable. He is at Harry's mercy now, way past the point of no return. It had never crossed Zayn's mind that sex with Harry could feel this mind blowing. He's a complete mess and they're only halfway through, his own cock barely even touched.

"Fuck Harry…fuck you’re…Harry." He moans incoherently, kissing, biting, sucking Harry’s jaw, neck, shoulder, his hands scratches marks onto Harry’s back as Harry thrusts in and out of him, abusing his prostate repeatedly as he does, driving him over the edge. Every fiber in his body feels like they’re on fire.

"You feel so good Zayn. So good." Harry groans huskily, kissing him, their tongues lapping hungrily. "You’re so so beautiful baby."

And it’s true. Zayn will always be unforgivably, unbelievably beautiful to him but right in the heat of that moment, with Zayn plaint body melting into his own, unbridled, coming undone, so exquisite, it simply takes his breath away. This is his perfect version of Zayn. He tucks this vision in the special corner of his mind that he reserved exclusively for this beautiful boy, for Zayn.

"Harry please.." Zayn begs, of what, he knows not of. For Harry to fuck him deeper? Faster? Harder? All of the above perhaps.

Then Harry grabs his neglected throbbing cock, pumping him to match the increasing pace as Harry thrusts deeper and harder. He almost lost it.

"Oh God, Zayn, I’m close." Harry groans, biting Zayn’s swollen lips.

"Harry, I..ohh fuck..need y-you…to promise one.." Zayn chokes out almost on impulse. He can’t focus, he’s so close but he needs to get it off his chest, "O-one thing…"

"Zayn…"

"Harry, promise me-e.."

"I, God yes..pro-mise.." Harry hisses unsteadily as he plunges deep into Zayn one more time. "Ahhh Zaynnn" Harry cries out, climaxing violently inside Zayn, caught off guard as Zayn clenches tight around his cock as Zayn hot cum spurts out in Harry’s hand.

Harry slumps his body onto Zayn’s as they ride out their orgasms, the side of his face pressed against Zayn’s chest, basking in the after glow, listening to the erratic thudthudthud rhythm of Zayn’s heart as he catches his breath. Harry pulls out of Zayn as the beat drums back to a steady rhythm, Zayn hissing a little at the pain now that the euphoria is gone. Instead of rolling off, Harry pulls himself further up Zayn’s body so that they are face to face.

Zayn looks so stunningly wrecked cradled in his arms, with his eyes closed, his long eyelashes dark against his pink cheeks, lips red and bruised from being thoroughly kissed, the flush on his face just beginning to slowly fade. His heart feels ready to burst, overwhelms with fondness and…of something stronger, a feeling yet undefined? He could truly love this boy. Maybe he already does even. His heart beats just that little bit faster at that hypothetical declaration.

Harry kisses Zayn’s eyes softly, wanting to see him, that warm chocolate eyes dusted with gold. How can you miss someone when he’s right there in your arms, bodies still warm and sticky of sweats and cum. He doesn’t know. He just knows that right now, he doesn’t feel complete until he sees the light shining in the window of this soul.

"Zayn" He whispers sleepily as he kisses his eyes again. "Open your eyes babe, I want to see you."

Only this time Harry feels wetness on his lips.

"Zayn?" He calls out again, a little more insistent.

"What’s wrong babe? Did i hurt you?" He panics as another set of tear falls down Zayn’s cheeks unchecked.

"Z, talk to me demmit!" Harry says unable to keep the panic out of his voice as he shakes Zayn’s shoulders to get him to open his eyes.

And Zayn did but he did not meet Harry’s eyes, fearing the naked truth he would find in them. So instead, he just stares at the two swallows inked on Harry chiseled chest and the red bite mark in between that he had made earlier in the heat of passion. A fresh tear falls.

"Zee.." Harry pleads, leaning down to kiss Zayn’s perfect lips. Is it too soon to be addicted to those lips? He briefly wonders and frowns when his lips landed on Zayn’s cheekbones instead.

Confused and more than a little hurt because they just had amazing sex and he’s not quite ready to burst that bubble yet, Harry grabs Zayn’s jaw, effectively forcing the older boy to face him.

"We just had sex Zayn. Mind blowing sex even. Please don’t shut me out." Harry is not above begging, not when it comes to Zayn.

"Harry, you made me a promise, you remember right." Zayn begins, a rhetorical question.

Harry smiles softly. “Yes, ‘course babe. Not that it matters. You know I would do anything you ask of me anyway…” He trails off and he leans back in to kiss Zayn’s lips. Zayn’s hand stops him on his chest.

Zayn’s heart cracks a little as he looks at Harry’s sad confused face, perfect in its imperfections. For the hundredth time that night, he hopes he’s not too late.

Zayn cups Harry’s face in both his hands, can’t help but be mesmerized by the crystal green eyes that stare longingly back at him. This is going to be harder than he thought. He sweeps Harry’s cheeks gently with his thumbs, tracing the skin over the contour of the cheeks where his dimples hide, cherishing their warmth. Harry leans into his touch but his smile falters when he sees the bleakness in Zayn’s eyes, the same untold torment that he hadn’t been able to hide from before, tried as he may have.

"I need you to do a favor for me Harry." Harry nods his okay, not trusting his voice not to break. The grievousness in the way Zayn had said it terrifies him.

Please don’t regret this. Please don’t regret us. Harry silently pleads.

The fact that Harry is already rendered speechless before he even vocalizes the promise he needs Harry to make crushes him. He is doing this for Harry. This is for Harry’s own good. Playing devil’s advocate with his own miserable heart. Harry’s going to hate him, he knows. Once again, he hopes against hope their bond is strong enough to survive this. So with a heavy heart, Zayn looks back into Harry’s green eyes and forces the words out softly,”I need you to promise me….” his voice breaks…

“I need you to promise me that you wont fall in love with me.”

Dead silence. Has the world stopped turning..?