Bill bean and henchmaniac beans
I summoned these guys to come and stare at you

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Bill bean and henchmaniac beans
I summoned these guys to come and stare at you

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hey random question but other than the little glimpse we got earlier, what do you think the Henchmanicac's are up to while Bill's with the Pines?
GREAT QUESTION @zeppydeppyautodepressy!
The Henchmaniacs are living in the multiversal equivalent of New York City right now having enough wacky adventures to fill a sit-com with!
After Bill was locked away in the theraprism, Jhess returned and offered the remaining henchmaniacs refuge and amnesty on the condition that they performed community service, did not attempt to contact Bill in any way, and ALSO went to mandated therapy. Everyone hopped on that deal pretty quickly and now they’re all working through their various traumas while finding a new place to belong in the multiverse!
Paci-fire, being one of the smartest of the henchmaniacs, now works for the Bureau of Temporal Management. He uses 8th dimensional metaphysics to keep track of the flow of time in the multiverse and keeps things running smoothly so Everything doesn’t collapse. He’s received several commendations for his meticulous accuracy at work and has made a lot of progress with his anger management issues in therapy. He’s the one in charge of enforcing the chore chart in the apartment he shares with Hectorgon, Keyhole, and Kryptos, and scheduling the group dinners. He also plays drums for a small, new wave metal band, The Eternal Scream.
Amorphous Shape, or Zelda as they now like to be called, has worked through some self-confidence and identity issues in therapy and has started a promising art career, making pieces specifically catering to clients with senses outside the norm. Some paintings are only able to be viewed correctly by those who see in infrared, or sculptures with textures designed to be touched. A few ultra symbolic works can be perceived solely by creatures that communicate through pheromones. Zelda is only now gaining some notoriety, but critics are raving. They’re also seeing a very nice Formless Blob from Dimension 17 and are being teased by their friends about how serious things are getting.
Kryptos, unable to work in the financial sector again after being charged and convicted of Hyper-bezzlement, found a job as an actuary for the Department of Entropy. He runs the numbers for dimensions at risk of collapse, which assist recovery/stabilization teams in their work. He’s much happier doing this than the corporate job he was trapped in when he met Bill. After some encouragement from his therapist and the rest of the henchmaniacs, he’s working to overcome his shyness and feelings of inadequacy by writing and performing slam poetry every Wednesday at a local cafe during their open mic sessions. It means a lot to him that most of the henchmaniacs are usually in attendance.
Hectorgon, having been disgraced and barred from returning to his job with the Time Police, has pivoted to become a private investigator and gained a reputation after finding a rare First Civilization artifact that was stolen from a client’s private collection. He likes the freedom of being able to pick his cases and the comparatively low stress. Sometimes Keyhole tags along when he’s bored to encourage Hectorgon and help him with his various skills. He’s since become an outlet for Hectorgon to bounce ideas off of and they’re turning into quite the Sherlock and Watson. There might even be a bit of romance blossoming between the two… but only time will tell. 😉
Keyhole is still trying to find his own place in the multiverse and has been doing a collection of odd jobs in the meantime to see what sticks. He’s currently working part time as a bartender and likes assisting Hectorgon on his cases. He’s thinking of going back to school to get a degree in ambi-amino culinary science. He really enjoys trying new recipes out on his friends and cooking for them, but he’s not sure if he wants to make a career out of it yet. He’s been working through his decision-based anxiety and catastrophizing with his therapist and has been trying new things to break out of his shell. Also he’s got a crush on Hectorgon but is trying not to make a big deal out of it. Everyone knows but Hectorgon.
Zanthar, after doing some soul-searching in therapy, has turned his Eldritch powers toward conservation! He’s now the proud caretaker of the Valenian Wildlife Reserve. He handles and cares for the most toxic and dangerous flora-fauna in the multiverse. He most likes lingering among the trees and fungus gardens watching the Razorbats flock. It’s a nice peaceful existence compared to the violence he was forced into by Bill. Though he enjoys his solitude, he still meets up with the rest of the henchmaniacs for dinner and drinks occasionally. He’s also recently taken up listening to Extratone EDM to unwind in the evenings.
Teeth, whose life has been disrupted the least by their new change of living arrangements, hangs around the apartment he shares with Pyronica and 8-ball most of the time. He’s content with his treat puzzles, titanium rods, and accompanying Pyronica to the cites she works on for special chomps as ‘enrichment’. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box, but is a loyal and loving friend that everyone in the group is a bit protective over, especially Zanthar, Pyronica, and 8-ball.
Pyronica in particular has blossomed since leaving the Nightmare Realm. Though she was originally incredibly resistant to the idea of integrating back into society and took the longest to make progress in therapy, after getting a job as a demolitions attaché, she quickly distinguished herself and rose through the ranks to become foreman within two years. She loves the controlled chaos of destroying buildings and has made lots of friends at her job with like-minded individuals. At her therapist’s suggestion, she also reconnected with her sister Hydronica. Though it was a rocky start, they’ve since become close again and are taking an Elemental Erosion Pottery Class together. And finally, after one of the longest enemies to lovers slow burns in history, Pyronica has begun dating 8-Ball. They’re very happy together.
8-Ball had the hardest time adjusting to his new life out of all the henchmaniacs. He built most of his identity around serving Bill unquestioningly and had difficulty finding purpose and happiness outside of that role. He probably would have been recommended for a stay in one of the lower wards of the theraprism, if not for the fact that Bill was there and everyone agreed the two of them in proximity was a Bad Idea. He bounced around through several jobs before taking an apprenticeship at the Museum of the Past to help restore and repair artifacts. 8-Ball loves getting to fix things and make them new. He likes people getting joy out of his work and has even started a new side hobby of scouring the dump for dirty or broken objects and repurposing or repairing them. He’s happier than he’s been in years and even found the courage to ask Pyronica out. They’ve been dating for five months now and 8-Ball still thinks she’s too good for him. Pyronica intends to spend the rest of her life proving him wrong about that.
And that’s the Henchmaniacs! They’re all having a great time! They most likely won’t be appearing again in a Human Condition (this is BILL’S story!! Hello??? We’re not focusing on these losers! 🙄) But for those who are interested, this is how it’s going for them.
Favourite crack ship
orbit
Vintage Paperbacks
Zanthar Of The Many Worlds (1967) / Zanthar At Moon’s Madness (1968) / Zanthar At Trip’s End (1969)
Art by Jeffrey Catherine Jones
Lancer Books (1967/1968/1969)

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Opinion on:
Pyronica
Keyhole
Amorphous Shape
Kryptos
Lava Lamp
Xanthar
Teeth
8 ball
Hectogron
Paci-fire
RANKING THEM INSTEAD BECAUSE I WANT TO:
PYRONICA
AMORPHOUS SHAPE
XANTHAR
TEETH
KRYPTOS
8 BALL
HECTORGON
PACI-FIRE
LAVA LAMP
KEYHOLE
AND IF YOU’RE CURIOUS DAN CRABLEMAN RANKS JUST BARELY ABOVE KEYHOLE FOR NOT WASTING VALUABLE Q.U.I.D. ON “SEXY GRIFFIN” MAGS. Y’KNOW IT’S BAD WHEN YOUR SCAPEGOAT IS BETTER THAN YOUR OWN DAMN WORKER
You talked a while ago about your stuff for Amorphous Shape, so I gotta ask if you have anything on my boy Xanthar. Why is he “the being who’s name must never be said”?
My headcanon is that on his home world, he's considered an eschatological god, associated with the end times—saying his name ushers in doomsday.
Bill going "ah what the heck" and naming him is a tacit confession that, in spite of his denial, on some level, he DOES know that his actions will destroy the universe. So why not say his name—it can't make anything worse.
The Disney subtitles and the wiki spell his name Zanthar, and so, for lack of any MORE canonical resources that spell his name, that's how I spell it. Bill and the Henchmaniacs call him Zan or Big Z to get around saying his real name. I hope his name will come up in The Book Of Bill to put the spelling issue to rest.
He's overall a very chill, laid-back guy; but if he sees his worshipers from his home dimension he'll chase them like a dog chasing a squirrel.
Bill has a VERY big ego about convincing a GOD to follow him, so he puts a little extra effort into keeping Zanthar content and making sure he doesn't want to leave the gang.
He CAN speak, but doing so would likely end the world or something devastating like that, so he doesn't.