#zan smith

Drawings of my own personal interpretations of the characters before they got trapped in the circus. I even got my own short bios of what they're life was like and how they joined in. Originally it was a lot more of my interpretation and it wasn't really all that great, but thanks to Episode 5, I can safely say I'm happy with the new versions.

TW: These will contain mentions of child abuse, minor racism and homophobia

Pamela was an overworked and stressed out accountant, always quick on her feet, and constantly worried about getting her tasks done. She longed for a partner to love, but because she wasn't too confident with talking to strangers, she struggled to find one. She hated the feeling of being alone. In her spare time, she would often explore abandoned buildings, recording it with her camcorder, and posting it on the Internet, but they never got any attention. One day, she came across a strange computer and headset while exploring in one building, putting the latter on without much thought, she is now trapped in the digital circus, being the newest member of the crew, Pomni.

Jackson grew up on a farm, with relatively strict parents. Due to this, he became a troubled teen when he got older. At the age of eighteen, he ran away from home to live his own life, often relying on stealing food or money to survive. Practically a squatter. He also liked to play practical jokes on people just because. When he sought shelter in an abandoned building, to catch a break from a particularly stormy night, a desk with a computer and a headset caught his interest. Jackson had a habit of stealing things he often wanted, or he found interesting, so he decided to keep it and add it to his collection, only of course, trying it on first, and well, we all know how that ended. He is now known as the purple mischievous bunny, Jax.

Annie's childhood was a bit rough growing up, mainly due to her abusive mother. Despite that, after becoming independent, she found success in real estate agency, plus eventually being married to a wonderful husband, and becoming the mother of three children. She was a very kind and sociable woman. One day, during her job, she was notified about a certain abandoned building, being asked to check it out, and seeing if it could be affordable or reworked. When she did arrive, she noticed a headset on the desk. Remembering how one of her sons was talking about virtual reality, she dusted it off and decided it couldn't hurt to try it on for a second. Next thing she knew, she was now a ragdoll in the circus. She immediately broke down, feeling immense guilt that she had left her family behind...she couldn't even remember their names now..

Gabriella, or Gabby, was a pretty shy person, dealing with anxiety and insecurity growing up. It was during highschool that she became obsessed with anime and manga, plus cosplaying, which did lead her to being picked on. After dropping out of graphic design in community college, she eventually became a shift manager at a fast food place. It was going well for her, until one day, she was met with one of her old bullies from highschool, who told her that they had something they wanted to show her. While a bit unsure, Gabby went along and followed them, to a sketchy looking building, showing her the headset. They then dared her to put it on, threatening to humiliate her on the internet if she didn't. Desperate, she quickly donned the headset, now stuck in a digital realm. Realizing she was tricked, her first few days at the circus were pretty tough.. 

Roger was a polite and well-mannered young man growing up, but his life changed when he met his wife, Maria at the age of eleven. Despite his mother's bigoted beliefs, he didn't care, they both loved each other, and soon left his hometown at the age of eighteen. After marrying, the couple lived happily in peace. Once Roger's sister reconnected with him, he and his wife got to discover that they had two nephews and one niece, and they soon became the favorite aunt and uncle in the family. Roger also soon studied computer science, his wife assisting sometimes, often they play tested games together. Everything was perfect. Until...one day, when the two had a night out, Roger overheard some teens talking about a lone computer and headset in an abandoned building. Curious, and seeing said building, he decided to investigate, Maria following him with caution. Finding said headset, he wanted to check it out and try it on. However, doing so, he became one of the first to be trapped in the circus. Maria witnesses this with horror, but not wanting to leave her husband behind, and without really thinking, she soon dons the headset too, joining her husband. The couple are now known as Kinger and Queenie.

At the age of fifteen, Zan started to identify themselves as nonbinary and gender fluid, though because they were raised in a very religious household, they're parents weren't supportive. Because of this, Zan usually stayed out of their home, wandering the streets and hanging out at local arcades, cafes, etc. They soon left at the age of eighteen to pursue the life they wanted, getting a job as a tattoo artist, and also becoming a bartender once they reached the legal age. One night, while pretty drunk after a night out with friends, Zan stumbled across a building while trying to find their way back home. Without much thought, they went inside, and through their blurry version, they could make out a headset. With no thoughts whatsoever, they put it on, now the second most recent member of the circus, going by Zooble.

Separate drawing I made of Roger and Maria baking together, something they often did a lot <3

Pamela doing one of her urban exploration videos with her camcorder. She looks really thrilled to be there, huh?

Final drawing for now, and I'm still proud of this to this day.

So it's supposed to be a more symbolic like picture considering the separation of Roger (Kinger) and Maria (Queenie). Roger's surrounded by king chess pieces, caging him in a small tent-like space, nodding to him being trapped, and Maria falling infinitely in darkness and abstracted eyes. Both sides don't know if they'll ever be able to get out or see each other again.

Really, I wanted to try and capture just how hopeless the situation is for the couple. Honestly, I know that since they've been such a happy couple for years before the circus in my AU, this just makes this even more depressing than it needs to be DX

But yeah, S Y M B O L I S M

Anyway, that's all for now.

Designs and headcanons by Me