favorite color - this ๐ ough i once mixed several glitter colors to make a glitter bottle shimmer in this exact shade.... i miss it lol (is it any wonder Kafka is my favorite? teehee ๐ธ๐ฅ)
currently reading -eheh... um. i'm SUPPOSED to be trying to like. read actual books. ive got a stack i got from a good friend recently. i did manage to finish a manga volume (kenka bancho otome 1 of 2, lots of fun, we love a good crossdressing story here)
last song - Per la gloria dโadorarvi by Giovanni Bononcini - fun z lore: i took vocal lessons from grade 2(age...7?) to when I was about 16/17, this was one of my contest/recital pieces. the reason i had been listening to it is there's a segment of Skyrim wilderness music that sounds like a section of the song and my brain just beelined for it lmfao anyway here's a pretty rendition for your enjoyment
last movie - blinks. i dont really do movies bc my attention span is shit so ... it *mightve* been the Polar Express right before christmas lmfao good movie tho
last series - last one i finished was dunmeshi (again) but I've been watching eps of the 1984 Night Court here and there as my brain allows :3
sweet, savory, salty - i have a terrible sweet tooth but honestly i love savory and also fresh veggies a lot, spinch salad ftw
craving - honestly? baked salmon on a hot bowl of rice.... i love fish and rice. iconic combo. king of dinner bowls
tea/coffee - tea pls but it needs to have a flavor adjuster bc i can taste ALLLLLLL the tannins all the time in everything
currently working on - trying not to actually sing bc my voice is still out but mouthing along to per la gloria lol and still thinking about writing a new bit for my prohibition au <3
i started a new post bc that other one was rly rly long ><
uh no pressure tags: @littlekiara96 @rysingsun @laseratingfist @bug-the-chicken-nug @evilyaoimurdertime @fake-ascension @fill-this-night *squints* and anyone else who wants to play, i was trying to think of who ive seen around lately lol but like i said no pressure
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I was tagged by @enjoylentgreen <3 i am shy about tagging ppl so if moots see this and want to play go ahead (/)////(\)
Reading: I'm gonna be real with you i have a stack of books and a mental list and I've gotten no fucking where with it. I'm trying tho. i have a book about 1920s Chicago i want to read, a handful of historical fiction from the library book sale, and the whole murderbot and discworld repertoires in ebook formats. what do i start with. help
Last Series: was watching the Free! abridged thing called 50% Off with friends. quite silly. I've never seen the original
Last Film: I think it was Jingle All The Way. ridiculous film. very fun
Last Song: lullaby of the manifold was playing on the Warframe stream but the last one i actually LISTENED TO listened to of my own volition wasssss.... let me check my playlist. no wait. Funny Bone by Regine ft Bucketboi. Sampo Koski theme song ๐ surprisingly hard to find via YouTube search
Sweet or Salty: i have a terrible sweet tooth <3
Coffee or Tea: tea pls but โ๏ธ no run of the mill American 'black' teas. no Lipton no orange pekoe. ugh. Jasmine green or chai. I've been recommended to try assam but it's on my list for specialty stores if i ever get there v.v my favorite tee ever was a blood orange rooibos with hibiscus and they stopped. making. it. i have seen very large bags of loose tea online for huge prices but my lord i don't think id survive the executive dysfunction and fatigue of it all. I'm just a tired little guy. maybe i need a tea thurible or sth
Working on: getting two letters in the mail that don't even require postage just tape to keep my papers from fluttering away in the wind and it's been a week. pray for me ๐ญ
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ok serious answer tho i was tired of 'brainpancollectionsite' and was in a Mood or maybe this was Empty's influence but i was like 'i need something that bites, something a little nasty, something that, in the words of a favorite professor, says 'fuck you, look at me'. something unapologetic.' the first url i tried to grab was 'boyClit' but someone's squatting that url so i was like alr. lets use 'slit' instead and... it grew on me (hahahhaha) and seems to be a hit with cool people ๐
2. I will always order this food:
twirls my hair omgggg i can think of so many things lmao
mango flavored smoothies. the pork chop + indonesian stew combo with the fruit and grilled asparagus. chicken paprikash. the most ridiculous chocolate-bombed ice cream mixy from places like DQ, culvers, coldstone. also DQ's soft pretzel sticks are the bomb? the one in our area shut down tho im real sad. OH. and root beer from the A&W. like the restaurant. I've heard it's crud in canada but the midwest seems to be doing it right lol
aw, ok i just remembered a nice story that also kinda makes me sad bc i miss my old city. university food court had a burger king where we'd stop kinda often for lunch. there was a fella there with a fairly thick Irish accent who'd bully us good naturedly and almost always talk us into getting the sundae pie slices with lunch. he got promoted to manager about a year later and we saw him a lot less but hey, promotion! hope he's faring well, god knows food service is a brutal industry even if you're only serving university students and staff
3. Overused emojis:
๐โ๏ธ๐ญ๐๐๐
i do the thumbs up in real life so ig that translates over to online lol
4. Current favorite show/movie/book/video game?
i want you to scroll my blog for three seconds and guess lmfaooo
I've kind of been clinging to familiar 'comfort' things tho so I've been digging in my wips and unfortunately cleaned up an Inquisition introduction but i am so hesitant to even touch the wider d/a fandom with a 50 foot pole u know lol but i love my grumpy uncle vashoth and my little wet cardboard noble boy who doesn't belong in the army he belongs drunk in a bar swindling people at cards
and i've been hearing some murmurings about honkai star rail and possibly my most favoritest blorbo ever so... i need someone to talk me out of going back to Gacha Game with Even More Racist Fandom Than Aged Dergens
5. Song on repeat:
lots of songs on repeat but โ๏ธ at least it is not Trocadero - Contact. that's a benchmark of Bad for me. lol (great song! terrible depression spiral indicator)
Hm. What have I been rotating lately. Lullaby of the Manifold (see blog title), Alive Again, Sleeping In The Cold Below, Rotten Lives, Evil Angel - Breaking Benjamin, .... mostly warframe music tho xD and Evil Angel is so duviri coded it's not even funny
6. The last thing you hyperfixated on?
7. Oddly specific thing that brings you joy?
being able to take something apart and put it back together. reading manuals that tell me exactly what i need to do and then doing it goes smoothly. parts clicking into place.
8. Phone Wallpaper:
argh, see i had to switch to desktop to copy/paste properly but now I can't just paste the pictures in lol my lock screen does have a link though. ... yeah. yeah ๐ญ if charbiter has 0 fans you will know i am dead
๐ฌ 5ย ย ๐ 128ย ย โค๏ธ 566ย ยทย Day 85
New phone background
9. What smells make you happy?
hmmm. vanilla. baked goods kind of smells. i also like post-rain fresh air a lot. smell of my cat :) not the breath or farts, u know. like u press ur nose in their fur and they smell all niceys. a cologne bf used to wear
10. Morning, night, or other type of person?
i *can* be a morning person but to be honest I much prefer staying up late. unmedicated, my brain doesn't optimize until 10 pm. and by that point everything inthe world expects u to be winding down for bed ๐ YOU go to bed, i got shit to do!
11. What is your work/profession?
haha. well. i don't work. i tried to work. i tried to work part time and it went ok for a few months! my workload was definitely a little too much for me, and then when they were working on adding another client i kind of...... snapped? idk something slapped me into one of the worst depressive episodes id had in a while like. bf had to bring me food kind of thing. so............. i put in my application for disability benefits :) they're supposed to be calling me about an appointment soon...
oh my fucking god i'm a moron. ive been declining a number from indianapolis someone come kick me in the head SORRY POST OVER I HAVE TO CHECK MY VOICEMAIL
edit: the number was somebody who wants money i dont have. no worries ๐
i am constantly thinking about the time i left a mall kiosk with $30 of nail care kit because the beautiful lady working there held my hand to demonstrate the nail buffer and i think i blacked out for a minute until we walked out of the mall itself
this is why i can't shop for things in person when they have hired people to be extra niceys to me to sell item
i always feel weird talking about seasonal affective disorder because mine is backwards from most people's i think
i get depressed as shit in the summer, irritable, restless, despairing, miserable. SWEATY!!!!! ๐คฎ and when that first breath of breeze under 50F hits it's like being resuscitated. they hit me with the defib and I'm gasping in huge lungfuls of living air. they've pumped the sickness of the sun from my lungs and liver
darkness? pfffft, cmon, that's where it's safe. that's where it's comfortable and cozy. if you don't want to be seen, the darkness will hold you. instead of squinting in pain into sun-roasted hellfire, I'm caressed by the cool fingers of shade. I'm under five blankets and nothing bad can touch me. autumn blazes the trees into brilliant color. snow softens the sharp edges of the world.
poetics aside, I've recently sussed out that it's probably related to not being able to escape my family by going to school during summer break.... but u know. childhood builds your foundations, however defiant of building codes it was.
and my Octobers are getting warmer every year so it's a moral obligation to start shooting big oil ceos so that nonsense stops