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â excerpts from poems i might never finish.

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until the stars fall
A beiguang mafia au. Beidou x Ningguang. Sequel to Dancing in circles.
Artwork by @eulyin
Rating:Â M Status:Â Complete Word Count: 114k Content Warnings:Â organised crime, gun violence, drug dealing, gang violence
Summary: âYou say sheâll do anything for me, and you are correct. But what you do not know isâ so will I.â Two years later, Beidou and Ningguang face the demons they thought they'd left behind.
Chapter list on AO3:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Variations On The Word Love
Rating:Â T Chapters:Â 1/1 Word Count: 27k Status:Â Complete Pairing:Â Beidou x Ningguang Content Warnings:Â kidnap, PTSD, trauma & injury recovery, graphic description of burns
Summary
She has always known that. Known that loving such a highly-regarded member of the Liyue Qixing would be dangerous. Difficult, even. It's just⌠in all these years, the danger has never felt real. Ningguang knows all the secrets of Liyue Harbour, even beyond its borders. She has always had a plan for everything and anything; an answer for every impossibility. She's always seemed untouchable, unperturbable. Never caught off-guard, not even once. OR: When Ningguang is kidnapped, Beidou sets out to rescue her beloved. What comes after is a long-drawn struggle.
Read on AO3
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Rating:Â M Chapters: 10/23 Status:Â Ongoing Pairing: Beidou x Ningguang Content Warnings:Â mafia/triad au, organised crime, violence, drug dealing, minor character death
Summary
âYou say sheâll do anything for me, and you are correct. But what you do not know isâ so will I.â Two years later, Beidou and Ningguang face the demons they thought they'd left behind.
a special occasion
Ningguang does not walk the streets during Lantern Rite.
Beidou always does, without fail. She'll sweep along the main artery of Liyue Harbour like a rising tide, pausing to make small talk with every merchant peddling their wares along the docks. She'll carry a heavy pouch of Mora that will always be empty by the time she ascends the steps to Yujing Terrace, her heart and hands full.
Ningguang prefers to watch the festivities from above, scrutinising the city she is sworn to protect. In the silence of Yiyan Temple, or the solitude of the Jade Chamber, she can hear every movement, even a sesame seed falling upon stone, or an assailant lurking in the shadows. This wariness is the price for her renown; one she gladly accepts. She will wait till the city winds down before she takes a walk by herself, watching lanterns float into the air, basking in the tranquil exuberance of a nation in gratitude.
This thorn in her side of a Captain, however, simply will not let sleeping dogs lie, Ningguang thinks as she descends the steps past Bubu Pharmacy to Feiyun Slope. Beidou prances by her side, grinning so hard Ningguang wonders if this is all part of some elaborate ploy on the Captain's part.
If it's a prank, so be it. Ningguang finds she doesn't mind.
"Mingxing Jewellery's got a booth right at the end of the docks," Beidou chirps, "You'll probably find a hairpin you'll like there."
"And you'd pay for it?"
"Of course. I said I'd buy you a new one, didn't I? You choose."
Ningguang flips open her fan, hiding the blush blooming on her cheeks. Beidou trots along, gushing over the numerous lanterns adorning Feiyun Slope's red bridges like stars plucked from the sky and hung over the harbour. Ningguang looks past her to the bridge, and then back at her. By firelight Beidou shines like the sun, bright with defiance, alive in a way that makes Ningguang think she might rebuff fetor itself, and live forever.
"You should applaud the Yuheng for her efforts," Ningguang says, "I merely oversaw the council's work."
"And I oversee the Crux's work, too," Beidou scoffs, "Ain't lifting a finger these days. Doesn't mean I didn't do shit, though. Turns out talking's harder than just doin' it."
Ningguang lifts a brow. "Oh? The Captain I know would always get her hands dirty alongside her men."
"It's called succession plans and mentorship, woman. I can't be Captain forever." Beidou stops at the top of the stairs leading down to the wharf, where the main festivities lie. "I've seen my fill of the world. Soon, it'll be time for others to take my crown."
"What will you do, then?" Ningguang glides past her, carving a path through the stunned crowd.
Beidou follows. "No plans yet. Maybe I'd drink myself happy first. Move my stuff from the Alcor to your houseâ"
"I don't recall agreeing to that," Ningguang interrupts.
"You said I could come up any time for chess!"
"Yes, for chess, not to store your belongings. The Jade Chamber is my home, not your warehouse."
"Well, maybe I could⌠pay rent?"
Ningguang lets out a breathy laugh. "Now that is a topic worthy of discussion, Captain."
"Greedy woman." Beidou crosses her arms with a huff. "Always in it for the Mora."
The scent of bamboo shoot soup, and the rich aroma of adeptus' temptation, waft from nearby stalls at the wharf. This year's Mingxiao Lantern, crafted in the image of Tao Dou, stands tall and proud upon the central stage, casting a warm glow over the marketplace. Ningguang peers at it over the brim of memory. A few hours ago, she'd stood on that very stage to announce the start of Lantern Rite, while squeezing a doll shaped in Hu Tao's image in her pocket. Countless sleepless nights and fretful days had culminated in that moment. It occurs to her that she has slept only in spurts over the last two weeks while preparing for the Seven-and-Eight Gates method.
"You okay?" Beidou asks, sounding strangely far away. "Ningguang?"
A hand rests on her shoulder. Ningguang blinks; returns to the present. "I'm alright. Let us carry on."
Beidou's brow furrows. "You look tired all of a sudden. You're sure?"
Ningguang feels her wrist twitch; she resists the urge to rub her face, or pull back her fringe. "I have not slept much recently," she confesses, "Preparation for this year's Lantern Rite was⌠particularly laborious."
"Didn't help that I was almost late, huh?" Beidou murmurs.
Her hand remains on Ningguang's shoulder, and it is a comfortable, reassuring weight. "What matters is we succeeded."
"Yet you worry." Beidou's voice is laced with disdain. "Your work for Lantern Rite is done, but you won't be sleeping much tonight anyway."
There is something in Beidou's gaze, something that tells Ningguang she knows what really keeps her up at night. It is not 'preparation', as the Tianquan often likes to blame. Nor is it her work. At the blackest hour, Ningguang often finds herself staring out the window, hypnotised by the clouds, with questions churning in her gut and no answers to be found. The discomfort of not knowing draws her from her bed like a spectral hand: why is the frequency of ley line incidents increasing? What do the other Archons know, that Liyue does not, having no Geo Archon? The reports her network delivers are increasingly erratic and fantasticalâthe entirety of Fontaine engulfed in the primordial sea for a moment; the Abyss found and purged in Natlan's Night Kingdom with Lumine's assistance. If these claims had not been corroborated by eyewitnesses, Ningguang would scarcely believe it.
And if Beidou knows, if Beidou can even guess a fragment of her worriesâit is pointless to continue denying. "You are right," Ningguang concedes, "But as you have rightly spoken, there will be a time to worry. Right now, we should enjoy the festivities."
Beidou's eye lights up. "That's more like it, dear Tianquan." She grabs Ningguang's hand in excitement, ignoring her gasp of surprise. "Now c'mon, let's go pick out your hairpin!"
"B-Beidou," she splutters, "M-myâ"
âŚHand. Our hands.
Beidou's grip only tightens, fingers interlocking with hers. Ningguang's face burns at the gesture, at the countless stares directed their way as the Captain weaves her way through the bustling crowd. At some point, Beidou turns back to flash her a wide, crooked grin that causes her heart to flutter up her throat and out of her lips.
Does it matter?
Perhaps it no longer does. Ningguang, Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing, always unperturbed and ever-composedâlaughs openly when Beidou smiles.
The two giggling women finally stop in front of Mingxing Jewellery's stall. A dazzling array of hairpins rest upon smooth velvet. Some are adorned with all manner of gemstones; others intricately carved with a preserved flower delicately perched upon its head. Ningguang's gaze is drawn from the chai to a buyao at the far corner of the table, hewn from jade in the shape of a ginkgo branch. A phoenix roosts upon its head, its two tails dangling free. Wordlessly, the Tianquan reaches out to pick up the buyao.
"An excellent choice, Lady Tianquan," Xingxi remarks.
Beidou nods enthusiastically, taking the hairpin from Ningguang's hands. "Let's try it on."
"Beidouâ" Ningguang's breath hitches when Beidou pulls out her old hairpin, calloused hands gently brushing across her scalp and pulling her hair back into a bun. She remains utterly still, frozen, as Beidou deftly slips the hairpin in, securing the bun with ease.
"Wow," Beidou whispers.
Xingxi holds up a hand mirror. Ningguang gazes at the buyao in her hair, the phoenix's tails dancing gracefully in the sea breeze. She looks past it to Beidou, standing behind her, glowing in adoration.
"You have to get this," Beidou breathes, "It's absolutely perfect on you."
"How much is it?" Ningguang inquires.
"Well," Xingxi begins, "It's an intricate piece, soâ"
The Captain dumps her entire pouch of Mora on the table with a thump. Xingxi gulps.
"Beidou!" Ningguang scolds.
"Just open it and take whatever it costs," Beidou declares, "I'm buying it!"
"You should at least find out how much itâ"
The Captain turns, bringing the flat of her palm to Ningguang's chin, fingers against her cheek and holding her head up. "The cost doesn't matter. I'm buying it. It's my gift to you, my dear Tianquan."
Ningguang's face flames red.
Xingxi awkwardly pushes the pouch back towards Beidou, having picked out the right amount of Mora. Satisfied, Beidou pockets the remainder and beams. "Thanks, Xingxi!" She grabs Ningguang's hand againâoh, dear Rex Lapis, I could cook an egg on my cheeksâand leads her away from the stall, looking extremely pleased with herself.
"A-are you not going to take the buyao out?" Ningguang splutters, finally finding her voice.
"What? No." Beidou twirls Ningguang's old ginkgo hairpin in one hand, purposefully keeping it out of reach. "You wear that, stop wearing this old one. This new one suits ya much better."
"This buyao is worth a small fortune, and should be saved for special occasionsâ"
"This is a special occasion." Beidou stops at the edge of a pier and turns, flashing her a charming grin. She extends a hand with a bow. "Isn't it, my dear Tianquan?"
Behind the Captain, Mingxiao lanterns rise from the lower docks, like stars soaring into the night. Later, Ningguang will come to understand this first glimpse of Beidou as her heart, Beidou who will become her entire world, who will take the stars of their fate with her bare hands and rewrite their destinies, that they will live and die as one.
Later, she will think about Beidou's smile, how it's always just a little crooked, and how it lights up her ruby eye with such a vibrant love for life.
Slowly, Ningguang nods. "So it is, my dear Captain."
A soft smile graces her lips, and she places her hand in Beidou's palm.
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Rating:Â T Pairing: Beidou x Ningguang Also on ao3.
Glaze lilies bloom along the way home.
A dozen of them, carefully scattered amidst a sea of green, blue petals dotting Yujing Terrace, peering at the low-hanging moon, suspended upon a dark canvas. It is a rare, starless night. The darkness rolls into the hills and valleys beyond, swallowing all traces of light.
Ningguang counts the lilies as she passes, her black heels clacking softly on stone. One - clack - two - clack - three - clack - four⌠once, there were sixteen glaze lilies. Now there are only twelve. They stopped withering only when Madame Ping offered to care for them.
âLong day?â
Ningguang barely acknowledges the words, blurted out in the darkness. Instead, she beckons to the shadows to follow, and it does. âAs you rise to greater heights, there comes a time where the sun no longer sets.â
âYou and your fancy words. Just say youâre tired.â
She steps onto the plaustrite elevator, waiting for the familiar sound of heavy boots to come up behind her. She snaps her fingers and the rock rises, carrying both women back to her floating sanctuary in the sky. Well, Beidou wouldnât call it a sanctuary. Beidou would call it a rock, and Ningguang would call her ship a boat.
A glimmer of silver weaves through the darkness. At this height, they are hugged by cool mist and glimpse the moonlight hidden behind the clouds. The plaustrite elevator slices a silver path through black and gently deposits them on the courtyard of the Jade Chamber. Sound moves across the palace, the chime of wind over water.
âIâm afraid that is not an admission I can afford,â Ningguang finally says, turning to stare at Beidou properly. That irritatingly crooked grin of hers; her twinkling ruby eye; her scarred arms; her unruly brown hair.
No bandages this time. Ningguangâs tense shoulders relax.
âTold ya Iâd come back in one piece.â Beidou throws the remark across like a boomerang. It loops back to slap Ningguang on the cheek.
âYou failed to specify the state of âone pieceâ,â she retorts, how can I be at peace?
The Captain groans, walks towards the Jade Chamberâs water channel, and squats at its edge. Ningguang follows, though she refuses to squat. Three golden koi languidly cruise through the clear waters. âThem fishies look healthy,â Beidou observes.
âThey would be. I feed them.â
âYou, Tianquan? Not one of your secretaries?â
Ningguang scoffs. You gave them to me, she wants to say, of course I would feed them myself. But the words do not slip past the gates.
Beidou dips a finger in the water, eyeing her rippling reflection thoughtfully. âWell, itâs a pretty big pond for three koi. Youâll love some heart feather bass in here. I could get you a whole selection. The finest, from Fontaine!â
A smirk tugs at the corners of Ningguangâs lips. âI wouldnât mind, I suppose.â
Beidou turns to gawk at her, as if she were a child permitted to buy a toy.
Ningguang sweeps past the pirate, opening the door to her abode. âDo you wish to enter, or will you be standing guard outside tonight, Captain?â
The other woman rolls her eye and leaps to her feet. She ascends the steps and holds the door open with a flourish. âIâd go where you go, Miss Tianquan. After you.â
Ningguang lets out a low chuckle, shaking her head. She enters the Jade Chamber, leaving a trail of lights as she descends the winding staircase. At the heart of her home stands a jade cylinder, intricate murals carved upon its surface. Soft, emerald light washes over her, illuminating the path to the inner sanctuary. The large room is marked by its centerpiece: an intricately carved desk, upon which a set of scales rest. A carpet woven by artisans in Sumeru rests below the table, its tassels just barely touching a screen and cupboards lining the sides of the room. The room smells of tobacco and incense, infused with a hint of melancholy.
Beidou calls this room her office, but it is more than just that to Ningguang. It is here that they first met.
The Captain follows closely. Despite her brusqueness, Beidouâs footsteps are as silent as Ningguangâs are graceful. She has always treated everything the Tianquan owns with a quiet reverence. Except the Tianquan herself.
But that is why they are here. Ningguang has no need to be delicately handled like a porcelain vase. She sinks into her chair and opens her drawer, carefully placing a small ceramic jar on the table. Beidou had once asked if that was an urn. Ningguang had laughed and said she wouldnât smoke someoneâs ashes.
âChess?â Beidou asks.
âNo.â The finality in her tone surprises Ningguang herself.
The Captain settles in the chair opposite as the Tianquan takes a scoop of tobacco, patting it firmly into her pipe and charring it. She then seals the jar and tucks it back into her drawer. As the scent of tobacco wafts into the air, she takes a deep drag, relishing the burn. She holds the smoke in for a moment, swirls her thoughts into it; exhales it through her nose.
Beidou rises all of a sudden. âI suppose youâd want your leaf-flavoured water to go with that.â
âIt has a name,â Ningguang replies dryly.
âYeah.â The Captain wanders to the nearby shelf, her gaze lingering briefly on a porcelain vase sitting at the top. She bends and takes two teacups and a pot from the lowest shelf. âLeaf-flavoured water.â
âTea,â she corrects, placing a small tin on the table.
âI bet the first person who came up with tea just dropped some leaves in water and forgot about it for an hour.â Beidou flops back into her chair and drags the tin over. She reaches in, deftly pinching a handful of qingxin leaves, and drops it into the potâs filter.
âYou arenât entirely wrong,â Ningguang comments between puffs, âI believe tea was invented when leaves fell into an emperorâs cup of hot water.â
âHah! See, my drink of choice is a work of art. It sure wasnât accidental, I assure you,â Beidou calls as she ducks behind the screen and retrieves a kettle of hot water.
âYour drink of choice is quintessentially decomposed wheat.â
Beidouâs jaw drops. âGotta say, ale tastes good, though.â
âSo does tea.â Ningguang watches the pirate pour hot water into the pot with an almost methodical kind of boredom, letting the leaves restâ just the way sheâd taught her. Then, Beidou pours them each a cup of qingxin tea. Smell the tea, Ningguang remembers saying when they first shared a pot of tea. Observe how its fragrance overflows from the water. Enjoy the aroma, and then taste it.
Beidou had scoffed. But she always paused to smell the tea.
She should tell Beidou now, she thinks. Best to get it done before they retreat to her quarters, before they sink into silk and softness, bodies entwined as one. There are things even the all-knowing Tianquan dreadsâ formless creatures that hunt in the day, stalking the Qixing through their duties, waiting for a crack in their defenses with the patience of a cliff whittled away by the sea over centuries. But even that is less upsetting than not knowing how the other woman will react when Ningguang tells her she was late tonight because the decision is made.
The Tianquan tamps the charred tobacco in her pipe and relights it. She exhales, watching the smoke waft into the air. âWe have decided to accept.â
Beidou stops and looks up at her, teacup still held to her lips.
âThe details of their proposal is commendable,â Ningguang continues under the weight of Beidouâs gaze, âWell thought through. They have contingency plans should the Chasmâs unstable entrance fail them.â
âAlright,â Beidou replies, lowering her teacup. âBut this is the Fatui youâre talking about.â
âYou donât trust them.â
The pirate barks out a laugh, refilling her cup. âYou donât trust them, Ning. And now you are allowing them to send an advance team into the Chasm. You are giving them an opening.â
Ningguang takes a long, deep drag. âIt is a mutually beneficial collaboration. They wish to investigate and eradicate the source of the anomalies plaguing the mines.â
âThey might die,â Beidou says. And guess whoâs gonna get the blame?
The Tianquan coughs through a smile. âWe will be sure to include a clause in the contract absolving us of all responsibility, should⌠accidents⌠occur.â
âYou think a mere contract will stop them?â
âLiyue is a nation of contracts, Beidou.â
The Captain gulps her tea down without pausing to smell it. âThey donât respect that. They donât respect anyone. Theyâll use the teamâs deaths to declare war.â
Ningguang allows herself to imagine the day the Ninth Company dies in the underground mines. La Signora would storm into Yujing Terrace, no doubt, and demand an audience with the Liyue Qixing. The seven of them would be forced to gather at a momentâs notice, and the Fair Lady would unleash a tirade upon them, perhaps even presenting proof of the deceased. She would accuse them of ridiculous crimesâ intentionally sealing the Ninth Company in the Chasm, for instance, or willfully denying knowledge of the unknown dangers deep within. Ningguang would raise the contractâs clauses as their protection, but Signora might not hear it. Perhaps Keqing would draw her blade, and Ganyu her bow, when Signora calls crimson flame to her hand. Perhaps Ningguang would have to draw upon the full might of Geo to contain her, and even then, she is uncertain if the Harbinger can be contained by just three Vision users.
âNo one else will investigate,â Ningguang says when the silence begins to stretch, as if that is justification enough. âThe miners need their livelihoods returned to them as soon as possible.â
âI know. And if you donât have to risk your peopleâs lives, all the better.â
âOur people.â
Beidou shrugs without looking at her. âMy responsibility is to my crew.â
âAnd mine is to all of Liyue.â Including your crew.
The Captain opens her mouth, then closes it. Ningguang studies her expression thoughtfully. There is a watchful glint in her eyeâ the sort of watchfulness that speaks to an instinct to protect something she cares for, barely held in check by the burden of consequences. Eventually, Beidou exhales, a long drawn-out sigh of resignation.
âI canât change your mind, can I?â
âYou would have to change the minds of the other six as well.â
âYou can do that. Youâve done that before, for me.â Beidou checks the pot, refilling it with hot water. âBut you wonât.â
âNot this time,â Ningguang concedes, her smile weary at the edges. âI have no⌠compelling reason to.â
âYou always do,â Beidou corrects, the corners of her lips curving up into a wry grin. âYou choose not to.â
âMy duty dictates so.â
Beidou shrugs, pours herself another cup. This time, she pauses to smell the tea. âSo⌠I really canât talk you out of this?â
âNo, Captain. You can let me drink and smoke in blessed silence.â
Beidou barks out a laugh. A somewhat hollow laugh, tinged with chagrin at the edges. âYou will call for me.â
Ningguang spares her a glance, keeping her expression utterly still.
Beidou lays a hand on hers, firm and warm. âIf something happens,â she says slowly, purposefully, âYou must call for me. Promise?â
Ningguang allows Beidouâs warmth to chase the spectre of fear from her heart.
âI promise.â
until the stars fall: chapter 9
Rating:Â M Chapters: 9/20 Status:Â Ongoing Pairing: Beidou x Ningguang Content Warnings:Â mafia, violence, drugs
Summary: This time, let me protect you.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Rating:Â T Words: 15k Status:Â Complete Pairing: Beidou x Ningguang Content Warnings:Â spoilers for Lantern Rite 2025, major character injury
Summary: The seven and eight gate array goes terribly wrong. In the aftermath, Beidou questions her friendship with Ningguang, and all the things they've left unsaid.