#yuanrang

Endings never come announced. History says that the Cultural Revolution ended in 1976. Cao Cao certainly didn't feel any ending; he was, however, caught in a new beginning.

He was still Xiahou Cao then, his age still in the single digit, and when people tried to tell him his parents would come back one day he would laugh and say, the dead don't come back to life. His parents were one of the first to be sent for re-education in the country. That might be some sort of grotesque achievement, and as their only son, maybe he was heir to whatever bourgeoisie intellectual legacy they stood for. He didn't really think about that until a decade later, when he was in the throes of teenage rebellion, which took the form of intense romantic idealism (he wrote some terrible poems and got it out of his system quickly).

And then a Xiahou cousin came; a family he never knew he had. At that time family meant nothing but liability, and because anyone smart enough would stay the hell away from problematic elements like his parents. The Xiahous weren't that smart: they were humble and unassuming, with no semblance of a pretense to fatal intellectualism and idealism, except for one of those denounced old ideals of family bond and sympathy. Little Xiahou Ahman would have been sent the opposite end of the country from his parents for likely similar fates. The Xiahous simply said he was a son, little Dun's younger brother. Little Xiahou Ahman completed the illusion with his wit and charm.

The Caos entered the story as the Cultural Revolution entered its final stages, where even the most loyal (and smartest) elites were shown to not be above the march of history. Cao Song had been quietly surviving, not grandly, as a minor official in a local school for the children of the elites, until an overzealous Red Guard pointed a finger his way. And so he quietly survived the long journey to the north, and then the long and hard life there. He lost his only son, who was of marriageable age, but not of circumstances (the whole denounced traitor status and also tuberculosis were quite a turn off for many ladies). He and his wife held each other through many nights after his death: only when you've lost something do you realise how much you need it, but how do you replace family?

When they came back they were neighbours with the Xiahous, and they somehow found that rare thing, kinship, in each other. Everyone was equally poor, and every mouth to feed was always one too many. The Caos learned of the little Ahman's status. They had always been taken in by the boy, with his wit that was sharper than it was quick. They were old enough to be his grandparents, but they offered to adopt him. Xiahou Cao shrugged when they asked him what he thought about it.

The day came for the Caos to go to Luoyang with their new son, because this was supposed to be a new beginning for China and everyone, and maybe they could rebuild their lives in a city instead of the rural areas. The Xiahous said goodbye to the Caos, but before they left, Cao Cao asked if he could have one thing. The Caos said, you could have anything you want. Cao Cao shrugged again.

Can I still see my family?