#ysbt

There was a part of her that couldn't believe that he'd actually missed it, that he actually hadn't bothered to show up and surprise her at graduation. A part of her knew that it was only being irrational and frustrating and causing more hell between them than it needed too. Maybe that was one of the consequences of the plastic piece that sat on the counter top. Nerves, hysteria, accusations… it all had to be a side effect of the smiley face that stared up at her every time she hoped that suddenly changed to a sad face. Because the reflection of a pout would make her feel a little bit better than the coy and so un happy smiley face made her feel. But then there wouldn't have been much of a reason for her out of place and unfair feelings, or for the hell she was mentally putting him through for not making it to see her walk across some stupid stage with a piece of crappy paper in her hands. It was probably a better thing that there was a reason behind it, that there was a cluster of cells that was accumulating at the hands of the both of them. She was pregnant and hormonal, making her mood swings all over the place and her feelings far more sensitive than she appreciated. 

Now she was supposed to be getting ready to go out there and see him. Out to Michigan to fake a happy smile and pretend that all was fine between them. Not that she'd gotten off the phone early almost every night in the bast week. That her want for him to come home and be with her wasn't always on the back of her mind and her pleads for him to do just that weren't in her throat. She'd suspected for awhile that something was going on. Being late, being sensitive, being moody… she should have put it together sooner. Not that it would have made any difference. Puck would have still been gone and she still would have been taking everything away from him once she told him that they were having a baby. It had been a stupid decision on her behalf, to stop taking her pill the september past when they'd talked about starting a family one day. All because they'd decided on having a half dozen children didn't mean either one of them had actually meant it or that either one of them had actually been ready for it. She never should have stopped taking them, and now she was going to punish them both for her own stupid choices and decisions. God damnit. 

Hearing the knock at the door she could tell it was the eleven year old without Sarah even opening her mouth. Slipping the applicator into her pocket she opened the door, "Hey… tell mom I'll be out there ready to go in a little bit okay?" before Sarah could protest again she slipped past the younger girl and made a bee line for Puck's childhood room. Last thing she needed was for Sarah to find out and to tell Jane before she had the chance to tell Puck. Once in his room she leaned back against the door, surveying the room for a moment. She wasn't about to just throw the applicator in the trash, there was a bigger chance that his mother would find it if she did that. She couldn't bring it with her either …she needed to process it before she announced it to him. Finally, her eyes landed on the Bruins rug that covered a small section of the floor where the floor boards were loose from being pulled and pushed around for years. Where they stuffed the things that they didn't need anyone else finding. Pictures that were meant only for certain eyes, a cherry ringpop that had made it through a decade, other miscellaneous items that had come to pass over the past eighteen years.