#youthrive

5 Words to Never Ever Let Your Kids Say

Change your words and change your outcomes! It is amazing how powerful our words can be and the effect words have on the results in our life. What we say makes a crucial impact on the reality of our lives. Imagine if you had been taught from the time you were young the power of your words. What do you think would be different in your life? Below are 5 words that are common words in most people’s everyday language. These words hinder people from attaining the results they want in life. I challenge you to eliminate these words from your language and at the same time make sure these words stay out of your kid’s vocabulary. Change your words and change both your outcomes and your kid’s!

1. DON’T

Start paying attention to how many times you use the word don’t. I don’t want to clean my room. I don’t want to go to the store. I don’t want to go to work. Instead of saying “I don’t want chicken for dinner,” all you have to do is say, “I want steak for dinner.” Your brain hears chicken in the first example and steak in the second example, so make sure you are telling your brain exactly what you want.

Replace it with: Instead of using the word don’t, actually say what you do want.

2. HATE

Hate is a very powerful word that has a very strong and negative connotation attached to it. Do you want more things in your life that you hate or do you want more things in your life that you love? Instead of talking about the things you hate, start talking about the things you like and love. The more you focus on things you appreciate in your life the more life will give you things to appreciate.

Replace it with: “I love…” or “I like…”

3. ALWAYS (and NEVER)

When you say things like “I never remember people’s names when I first meet them” or “I always forget where I left my keys,” guess what you are going to continue to do! Get rid of those words and I guarantee you will get rid of those habits.

Replace it with: “I would benefit from…” or “I am going to practice…”

4. NEED / HAVE TO / SHOULD

We NEED water, food, shelter, and love. We do not need to go shopping and we do not need to go for a run. Would going grocery shopping make it easier to cook dinner, yes. Would going for a run help your health, yes. But you do not NEED to do the majority of things in life.

Replace it with: “I want ….” or “I would benefit from …”

5. MISS

This is a word you just want to get rid of all together! When you say things like “I miss you” or “I miss the days when I could eat as much as I wanted” you are dwelling on the lack of something. Stop thinking about the lack of and start being grateful for the abundance in your life. Watch the changes that start naturally occurring in your life when you do!

Replace it with: (Just get rid of it!)

What other words are you eliminating from your vocabulary or are cautious about using? Comment below.

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                      5 Ways to Create a Stronger Bond With Your Kids

We all love our kids. As we watch them learn and grow we get an undeniable and unparalleled feeling of love for our little ones. But while we are watching and admiring with admiration, are your kids aware of how you feel about them? Do your kids walk in the door from school, give you a simple, “Hi Mom,” and then go play in their room?  Or do they run in the door, give you a hug, and tell you they love you?

Maintaining a strong bond and having clear communication with your children is not only necessary in the good times, but vital when times get rough.  Be the person your child comes to for guidance, reassurance, and support.  Here are five things to do each day to create that strong bond.

1. Look your kids in the eyes

Yes. It is that easy! To build a deeper and more meaningful relationship with your kids you must look them in the eyes more often. Instead of talking to your kids while washing the dishes, just stop, look at your kids while they are talking, and be in the moment.   Building that strong eye contact with your child not only builds a connection between you and your child, but eye contact in general promotes self confidence in your child. How cool is that?

2. Listen to them when the talk … then respond

What do you do when your child is talking to you? Are you folding laundry or cleaning up the kitchen? Are you looking at the computer screen or your cell phone? Or are you actually face to face to your kids, listening to what they say, and responding to them? We have all been guilty of multitasking and talking to our kids, but the more you multitask around your kids the more they will learn to do the same with you. As parents it is our responsibility to model the behaviors we hope our kids will demonstrate later in life. We all know if we want our kids to be avid readers then we have to sit and read with our kids and teach them the habit. The same goes for listening. If we want our kids to be good listeners, then we have to model that behavior too!. And guess what? The more you listen and talk with your kids, the more they will trust you and the more you will build a deeper and meaningful relationship with them in return.

3. Play with your kids more often

We have all been guilty of multitasking while our kids are home. I mean somebody has to cook dinner and clean the kitchen, right? But how much of your time do you devote 100% of your attention to your kids? No television. No cell phone. No cleaning. No distractions. Every day you should be allocating a portion of your time to giving undivided attention to your kids. Studies show the quality of time you spend with your kids is far more important than the quantity of time you spend with them. So what does this mean for you? Play with your kids! Make a castle out of legos, play tag in the backyard, create a fort out of blankets and pillows in the house, or even just read a book. That time is invaluable to the social and emotional development of your child.  Frankly, you’ll find that time will be filled with priceless memories too!

4. Give your kids more hugs

Physical contact is extremely crucial in building a strong relationship regardless whether it is with your significant other, family members, friends, or even family pets . It is easy for parents to snuggle with infants and babies. Then as babies grow into toddlers, and toddlers turn into kids, and kids into teenagers, the bigger our kids get it becomes less and less instinctive to maintain a healthy amount of physical contact with our kids. Parents must be mindful of this and be proactive in creating opportunities for physical touch. One easy way to do this is simply by giving your kids hugs. First thing in the morning, give your kids a hug. When they get off of the school bus, give them a hug. When your kids get a difficult homework question correct, give them a hug!

5. Tell them what you love about them more often

As parents we take on the role of teaching our kids the “do’s and don’ts” of the world. Do clean your room, but don’t stash your toys under your bed. Do eat your vegetables, but don’t chew with your mouth open. Do your homework, but don’t rush too quickly to finish it. Kids become immune to these kinds of interchanges with their parents. Kids need more affirmations of what we as parents love about them. Instead of telling them what they should or shouldn’t do, if you simply tell them what you love about them they will do more of it. “I love it when you make your bed before you come and eat breakfast” or “I love it when you give me a big goofy grin first thing in the morning” are much more powerful than simply telling your kids to make their bed or smile more often. Even more powerful for the development of a child is to remind a child of the traits about them that you love. If you love their head of curly, blonde hair then tell them! If you love how they giggle uncontrollably when they sneeze while eating, then tell them! If you love how they wiggle in their seats when you put the food on the dinner table, then tell them! It is impossible to tell your child how much you love them.

Children grow up quickly! Cherish those precious moments with your children by creating more positive interactions, thus strengthening your relationship and bond.  You’ll never regret giving them an extra hug, taking that extra time to stop and listen to them talk, or stopping to play a game with them.  Enjoy the even the smallest moments as they too will pass.

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