#yourdickiscomedy

Guys, maybe DON’T invite a girl over for sex, then after the fun’s over, explain that your doctor just put you on antibiotics that morning. And that you didn’t take them yet.

I just got home and packed my mouth with emergen-c powder.

And another thing, motherfucker: don’t make me watch skateboarding videos immediately following the act, or talk about your goddamn guitars for 30 minutes, or get pissed when I ask for a ride home.