#youllmakeitthrough

For three consecutive nights I have been dreaming about my ex and it was a nightmare. I would wake up many times throughout the night with sweat all over my body. One day, when I was texting a very close friend about my dream I accidentally came upon my ex’s google drive. I was hurt to what I was seeing. I saw many pictures of the girl my ex was cheating on me with and also a picture of them together. I looked at the date and it was just a week ago. Keep in mind my ex and I have only broke up maybe 3 weeks ago? I was beating myself on the fact that he was purposely trying to hurt me for he knows how much I was hurt when I saw them talking. I walked out of my class and ran straight into the bathroom when I called my close friend. She and I talked about many things and it finally helped me realized that he wasn’t trying to hurt me. It probably didn’t cross his mind of how I felt when he did what he did. He was doing it because at this time, this girl is the one he wants to be with and that everything that crosses his mind is about her. There I was thinking he had the least consideration of me because we’ve been together for so long.I was just hurting myself thinking that way. My friend told me that I needed to stop finding things that made me unhappy. It hits me hard because all this time I was doing things to hurt myself because I blamed myself for what had happened. It’s not true because it wasn’t my fault. My ex didn’t want to deal with the pain he wanted the easy way out. She came in when he was hurt and so he became dependent on her for his happiness. What I learned is that rebounds are not good. It causes you to be dependent on someone else for your happiness when you don’t even love yourself. Once you figure out that you can’t love yourself yet you depend on someone else to love you then you both will get hurt. When you know how to love yourself, then when the time comes for someone else to walk into life you will be able to teach them the way you want to be love and they will want to learn because they really care about you. My ex used the excuse that I cheated on him when he knows deep down what he has done and he does not deserve me. My friend also told me that I needed to stop comparing myself to him or the girl he wants to be with. I was putting myself in a bad situation when I kept on thinking that he has more than I did. He has friends to hangout with and he had a girl he was chasing when i felt like he took everything good about me and ran off. I felt like he took my pride and everything that I appreciate about myself and then it hits me that I gave him the power no one should ever have other than myself. My pride and self is within me and he cannot take that away. I was comparing myself to her, thinking I was not good enough for him. Now, I am starting back on the right track this time to figure out the next chapter of my life.

Reminder:

“Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Focus on the things you have, and the reasons you should be happy.”

-Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy and find reason to be happy

-Stop comparing yourself to other

-Don’t worry what that other person is doing because right now the person that needs you the most is yourself

-Accept and love yourself and you’ll realized that even with a bad deck of card you can turn things around

-Don’t stop writing the next page of your chapter even if that person left, it would be a waste

-You do you