#you-turn

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2018/10/08/boundaries-for-your-soul/

Boundaries for Your Soul

Boundaries for Your Soul (Thomas Nelson, 2018)

Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller recently co-authored Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies.  Alison earned an MA in counseling from Denver Seminary and a PhD in religion/psychology from the University of Denver.  Kimberly Miller earned master’s degrees from Regent College (theology) and Azusa Pacific (clinical psychology).  In Boundaries for Your Soul, Alison and Kim show how to work with the conflicted aspects of yourself.  In doing so, they interpret the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model through a Christian lens.  Also, through this process you learn to understand, and even befriend, the hurting parts of your soul.  As a result, you establish healthy boundaries with different parts of your soul vying for control.

However, to lead struggling soul parts, you must focus on them and befriend them.  Then, once you invite Jesus to draw near, unburden those emotions and integrate them with the other parts of your soul.  The authors refer to this five-step process as taking a You-Turn.  As you journey on your path to peace and wholeness, you move from seeing these undesirable inclinations as problems to viewing them as allies.  Since it’s impossible to rid yourself of your soul’s parts, instead help them to grow, heal, and discover their God-given roles.  And, so your (Holy) Spirit-led self leads those parts of yourself with love, welcome your unwanted thoughts and feelings as valued members of your internal family.

Therefore, the first step in taking a You-Turn consists of a focus on the part of your soul bothering you.  It’s presenting itself for healing.  Next, get curious about it.  And, as you create space from your pain, you comfort yourself.  Once you’ve differentiated from a part, you find yourself able to speak on behalf of that part, rather than from that part.  That, in turn, enables you to extend grace not only to external enemies, but also to your perceived enemies within.  For God wants to do something beneficial with every part of you.  Hence, Alison and Kim exhort, don’t leave unwanted thoughts and feelings at the door when you spend time with Jesus.  For in the presence of your Spirit-led self, a hurting part of your soul finds relief as it lays down its burdens.

Furthermore, as you draw new boundary lines, you join in expanding God’s reign – within your internal terrain.  When you integrate the warring parts of your soul, you lighten your load.  Because you’ve eased your burden, you now notice holy reframes in your thinking.  And those holy reframes free you to focus on your God-given purpose in this world.  Through setting boundaries for your soul, your restore peace and reconcile the adversarial members of your soul. Remember, the authors exhort, Jesus invites every part of you- no matter how broken or rejected – to come to Him.

The authors conclude with a parting prayer for your future self:

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2018/10/03/every-single-one-of-us-a-masterpiece/

Every single one of us - a masterpiece

“Every single one of us is a masterpiece.  And at the same time, you might say we all have parts in process.  So we can expect difficulties to arise in even the healthiest of relationships.”- Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller

As Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller continue Chapter 14 of Boundaries for Your Soul, they discuss the second and third ways to set healthy boundaries.

2.  Resolving conflict: the power of curiosity and compassion.  In difficult situations, Alison and Kim maintain, sustaining intimacy involves getting curious (a) about your onw vulnerabilities and (b) the ways you seek to protect yourself.  Furthermore, your parts detective must become adept at discerning the vulnerabilities of your loved ones.  In the process, you learn to view them with compassion.

Therefore, the authors encourage you to seek God’s help.  You need creative courage to stand up for this part of yourself.  Even if standing up means you decide to love and pray for the other person at a distance comfortable for you.

In addition, Alison and Kim advise one useful habit to develop with a close friend or spouse.  Agree that when one of you feels any challenging emotion, to take a moment for a You-Turn.  Thus, when you engage in the process of reflection, you speak more clearly and lovingly.

3.  Loving others in process.  The key here involves assessing the creativity and patience of your Spirit-led self.  This task often begins when your parts detective alerts you to a loved one’s annoying habit or hurtful behavior.  You learn to develop awareness that this behavior is the action of a well-meaning part.  As a result, you engage with this part of the other person in more effective ways.

However, first consider your own expectations.  Where do you place yourself on the spectrum between demanding (deserve perfection) and diminished (deserve nothing)?

Finally, as Brene Brown writes in The Gift of Imperfection, “When we are kind to ourselves, we create a reservoir of compassion that we can extend to others.”

Today’s question: How would you describe yourself as a masterpiece with parts in process?  Please share.

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2018/08/21/to-lead-emotions-effectively-take-a-you-turn/

To lead emotions effectively, take a You-Turn

“To lead emotions effectively, you can focus on them, befriend them, and invite Jesus to be near — then unburden them and integrate them with the other parts of your soul.  We call this process taking a You-Turn.”- Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller

“First, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”- Matthew 7:5 (NIV)

Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller continue Chapter 1 of Boundaries for Your Soul as the relate how to know when painful emotions are too near or too far.  Thus, when you’re too close to painful emotions, you might express feeling like a victim, martyr, or hopeless.  Conversely, when you’re too far from painful emotions, you tend to blame others, avoid the subject, or deny reality.

Most noteworthy, the authors state, living with close painful feelings robs you of confidence and joy.  On the other hand, when you keep painful feelings far away, you disown important gifts that those feelings offer you.  Furthermore, denied emotions don’t really vanish. Rather, the authors caution, they reappear in even more harmful ways.

Therefore, to lead emotions effectively, Alison and Kimberly observe, focus on them and befriend them.  Most of all, invite Jesus to be near. Next, unburden and integrate your painful emotions with the other parts of your soul.  The authors refer to this as taking a You-Turn.

Finally, when conflict detonates a frenzy of emotion, we tend to express one natural response.  We become reactive and accuse the other person.  As a result, Jesus addressed this tendency to blame others in His Sermon on the Mount.  Specifically, Jesus challenged others to work on their personal growth (see Matthew 7:5).  For Jesus desires that you get to know the state of your soul.

Today’s question: What Bible verses help you take a You-Turn to lead your emotions effectively?  Please share.

[65] You-Turn - Fantastic Mr Fox (Black Acre - 2014)

Quick mention of this fantastic two-track single of our beloved Fantastic Mr Fox. His vibe is unique as usual, and we love it (as usual).

While we wait for the next full-track album, the Berlin based producer hits again with this awesome single You-Turn with his notorious fusion of intensive bass synth rhythms and soul-ish/dance melodies and beats. And there is no doubts about it, the Kid A's extraordinary voice and lyrics is the icing on the cake!

Visionist's remix of the single gives a take to the track completely new. It enhance the darkish side of the original tracks, and develops with a more anxious beat. 

Enjoy

https://soundcloud.com/fantasticmrfox

To Listent To While: is getting dark and things are getting serious

M