#you noticed

“ready to leave?” he gestured to his truck with a tilt of his head.

you saluted, “yes sir.” you practically marched toward the truck before getting in.

you saw him laughing before getting in and turning on the engine. you grabbed the aux as he started driving away and pressed play on the joint playlist you had for your car rides. you lowered your window, breathing in the ocean breeze. you turned your head, only to see him smiling at you.

“i look like a dog with my head out the window, don’t i?” you joked to, again, not think of what his look meant.

he chuckled, “i think your dog name would be lola or something.”

you gasped in mock offense, “how dare you?”

rafe only kept laughing as he turned his gaze toward the road.

“what kind of dog breed would i be?” for some reason you wanted to be a rottweiler or a german shepard. they seemed cool in movies, you guessed.

he scrunched his nose in thought, making his dimple stand out. your heart skipped a beat and your breath grew shallow.

he glanced at you, “i think you’d be a pomeranian or a chihuahua.” his tone was half serious, half joking.

you punched his arm, “rafe cameron, i would not be a small ass dog.” you meant no offense to them, but c’mon.

“sure you would, they’re small and loud and annoying most of the time.” he suppressed a smile, avoiding your gaze.

you glared at him, “i am not loud nor annoying.” you knew that wasn’t true, you could be quite annoying around him sometimes. but that was only because you felt like you could be yourself around him. he was probably the only person who truly saw you. and that scared you so much.

“sure, kid.” he snorted but you knew he wasn’t serious. you rolled my eyes and leaned your head against the door for the rest of the drive.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .*

you had less than ten minutes before rafe got here to pick you up for lunch. you scurried around your room for perfume because the one you’d been using had run out. you found some cheap shit under the bathroom cabinet and quickly sprayed it on. you figured it wasn’t too bad. your phone buzzed with a message from rafe that he was out front. you quickly ran down the stairs, grabbing your bag and almost tripping over your shoe laces.

“shit.”

nine times out of ten, you stumbled on those steps for the exact same reason. once you got in the car that smelled so much like him, you were hit with the kind of boyish scent mixed with that clean laundry smell that made your head spin. however, he sniffed the air as if something new had invaded his space. he leaned in and inhaled the perfume on your neck, his breath tickling your skin. for a moment, you were certain your heartbeat was loud enough for him to hear, but before you could pull away, he leaned back with a faint smile.

“you smell like jo malone. i like it,” he started driving as if he hadn’t just completely altered your preference for perfume. suddenly, you wanted to run back home to find the name just so you could buy a thousand bottles online. jesus, get a grip.

you looked at what he was wearing for the first time since you’d gotten into the car, and nearly had another heart attack at the blue sweater he wore along with blue jeans. you quickly pulled out your phone in an attempt to distract yourself from staring at him in awe for the rest of the drive. this lunch was going to be eternal.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .*

the bathing suit was one you usually wouldn’t try on but because rafe insisted the color would look good on you, here you were looking in the mirror. only to now be singling out every part of your body that you felt needed fixing. you took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. it was one of those days where the hatred towards your body was at a high level.

before you could duck back into the dressing room, rafe appeared behind you in the mirror.

his smile was one of the most beautiful ones you’d ever seen.

“see? i told you it would look good on you.”

“you really think so?” you winced when you heard the uncertainty and vulnerability in your voice. he noticed, of course he did.

“of course. i love your body in every form and in every way,” the way he said it and the way he looked at you made you realize that he did mean it. and that only made things more complicated. because you couldn’t have him, when you knew it was gonna end. there was no way you’d be friends.

you nodded and excused yourself to change, not noticing the hurt expression on his face at your dismissal.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .*

your little sister was sitting on the front porch, painting. you and rafe stepped outside to say goodbye. he had an interview today that was for a job he’d always wanted, so he’d come to your house for a quick pep talk. you’d helped him with his tie, the proximity becoming overwhelming. your fingers had shaken a bit and of course he noticed, but didn’t say anything. you avoided his gaze after that and began rambling about how he needed to act in the interview and what things to say. he’d smiled to himself and hugged you, “thanks, kid.” he kissed the top of your head and that shut you up. sure, he’d shown affection towards you but this time it felt different. he’s just being nice, you told yourself.

and now he was talking with your sister about her painting. you leaned against the door as you watched them interact and frowned when he sat down and loosened his tie.

“hey, you’re going to be late,” you said.

he looked back at you and dismissed your remark, “i promised her i’d help her with her painting.”

“rafe. this interview is important. you’ve wanted this since forever.” your throat grew tight with emotion. there was no way he would miss it just to help your sister with her painting.

he smiled softly, “don’t worry about it. i’ll figure it out.”

“but—“

he cut you off with a look that was clear he was done arguing. you nodded and turned so he couldn’t see the tears that had begun spilling down your cheeks. the thought that formed in your head was clear, i love him.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .*

the boneyard had been like any other, only this time rafe drove you home. you usually left with sarah and the rest of your friends but you weren’t feeling great. the ride home had been quiet, the reason being the argument you’d had at the party.

you’d seen him talking to a girl and she was laughing at all his jokes, which you knew couldn’t possibly be that funny. but what had pissed you off more was the way she had wrapped her arm around his as if he were hers and the fact that he hadn’t pushed her away. the world got blurry and you threw up at the thought of them kissing. sarah had freaked out and insisted to get you home but you said you were fine, that you just needed fresh air. which was stupid because you were at the beach with plenty of fresh air.

you just needed to get away from there, away from him. you stumbled towards the parking lot to wait in the twinkie for the others but you heard someone shouting your name. shit.

you walked faster as if that would make a difference. he’d seen you and he knew you’d heard him but you still kept going. you suddenly felt an arm wrap around your wrist pulling you to face him. his hair was mused and you saw the faintest hint of lipstick on the corner of his mouth. you felt sick all over again and turned away just in time to not puke on his shoes. thank god. this was embarrassing enough as it is.

“woah, are you okay? c’mon, i’ll take you home,” the worried tone in his voice made your heart break a little. you knew he cared because you were his friend —key word— and that only made hating him even harder.

you jerked your arm away, “i’m fine.”

he frowned at your reaction, “hey, what is it?”

you felt feverish and that was probably why you said the words that came out of your mouth, “nothing. shouldn’t you be out there with miss outer banks over there?”

you only then realized how stupid you sounded but the words were already out.

his face still held the same expression of confusion, “i don’t know what you’re talking about. sarah told me you were sick so i came to check up on you.”

that only made you angrier, “well i’m fine. i’m not a little kid that needs to be taken care of. you can go back to the party.” you turned to keep walking but he took your wrist again and this time grabbed you by the shoulders, glaring down at you.

“don’t fucking walk away from me. i don’t know what the fuck your problem is but you’re not going to take it out on me.” he had never spoken to you that way. and now he was too close and the lipstick was too close to you and the jealousy in your stomach made its way to your tongue.

“oh, i’m sorry. country club over here thinks he’s the center of the universe. well, news flash! you’re not because not everything is about you. i don’t need your help nor did i ask for it.”

his jaw clenched and he lifted one of his hands to grab your chin, making it impossible to get away.

“you’re being completely immature and rude. and i’m not saying it has anything to do with me, but you are making it about me when you’re treating me like shit.” you tried to speak but his hold wouldn’t let you.

“i’m taking you home. end of story. tomorrow we’ll talk about your ridiculous behavior, okay?” you glared at him, because it was the only thing that you could do.

he finally let go of you and you gently touched your chin. it didn’t exactly hurt but it felt tender.

he grabbed your hand and led you to the truck, then proceeded to pick you up by your waist and put on your seatbelt. the whole thing made you feel like a child being scolded by their parent. he slammed the door before getting in the driver’s seat and driving towards your house with a hard grip on the wheel.

now here you were sitting in silence inside his truck, staring at the front porch of your house.

the tension in the air was clear, neither of you was willing to extend an olive branch but because rafe knew how stubborn you could be, he decided to speak first.

you heard him sigh, “kid, i’m sorry. i was just worried about you and the way you treated me made me angry. you know you can talk to me, you’re my best friend.”

you squeezed your eyes at that, the tears falling onto your lap but thankfully it was dark enough for him to notice.

you felt his hand under your chin, turning your head to face him, “hey, what is it?”

when he saw your tear-streaked face, you saw his anger dissolve into worry. he wiped your tears away and pulled you into a hug, which only cause you to cry harder. he ran his hand down your back in soothing motions, knowing you just needed to let it all out. once you were done, you pulled away, only to be inches away from his face. that’s when you saw something click behind his eyes, causing you to wince internally. you looked down at his lips and leaned forward pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. you then pulled away before he could react, getting out of his truck and running into your house. after locking the door behind you, you ran towards your room and locked that door as well before slumping down against it. you brought your knees to your chest and lowered your head into your arms, sobbing.

thoughts kept circling your head but you could only form the one thing you wanted to say to him but couldn’t.

i tried my best to not love you tonight and you noticed.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .*