#yoongixoc

PART I | he came like a nightmare, like a dream

It’s Wednesday and the sky is gloomy. The sun is hiding behind the clouds, giving off a grayish, colder than normal atmosphere. Cool breeze make the twigs sway, autumn leaves filling up every path. For Freya, it’s a good day. Though the nimbostratus clouds may bring heavy rain this afternoon, it still left a smile on the young woman’s face.  After all, it’s her first official day of becoming a strong independent woman. The twenty-three year old had fought for her independency since she turned eighteen against a strict, overprotective family. It’s only when she received a job offer far away from her hometown that her mother had finally let her loose— well, kinda. There’s still the announced and unannounced visitations that her mother will do from time to time. It’s a deal she agreed to. Her friends saw it as “too much” but she saw it as unconditional love. “You know how to compromise.” One of her friends remarked when she gave them the news.

Nonetheless, she’s now standing by the apartment building— seconds away from sealing it off. Her independence.

“Bring it to third floor, last room to the left.” The man who owns the building tells the men Freya hired to help her move her things. His attention then focuses on her. He tells her to follow him as he will give her a short tour around the unit.

Before they enter the apartment, the owner gives Freya the spare key and the updated code for the automated lock. “You can change it once everything’s settled.” He tells her before pushing the door open.

It is when they’re inside that she finally let herself loose and smile so wide. Her heart is literally leaping from happiness right now.

She drops the bag she’s carrying to take in the familiar yet new surrounding. Freya had only seen the apartment in pictures on a Facebook post. It was sent to her by her college friend who she informed that she’s looking for an apartment near her workplace. Due to the rush transfer requested by the company she’s working for, she didn’t have time to check it out in person. Her worries of living in an unsafe and uncomfortable place washed away once she finds how neat and pretty it actually is than the pictures she saw on the Internet.

“This has to be the only presentable unit that has been used for years.” The owner remarked. “It’s all thanks to the previous tenant who always cleaned the place once a week. It’s either she was a germaphobe or someone who just loved to clean— but I’m thankful. It’s the only unit Joe didn’t have to enter to clean. It helped the old guy somehow.” Freya didn’t know who Joe was but she thinks it’s the janitor who’s assigned to clean the units of the building. The owner’s kind of talkative and as Freya listened to the guy talk, she let herself wander around the place.

The color of the wall resembles the yellow sunflower dress she used to love when she was eighteen. The outer walls are made up of plywood stacked together painted in bright yellow but the inner walls are cemented. The floor is tiled. The lines that separates the tiles are not covered with mold— it’s surprisingly bright pink. The unit has two windows. One above the sink and the other is inside the bedroom, right beside the bed. The two windows are enough to bring the needed sunlight in the apartment. Freya unhooks the window by the bed and slides it up to allow some some fresh air to get inside.

Freya steps back to find a small bookshelf near the bed enough for all the books she had brought with her. It makes her smile just from the thought of it. She takes a couple of steps further, her heels turn around then a high pitched shriek leaves her mouth when she finds a face with a funny expression looking back at her: big eyes and mouth wide open, mirroring hers.

“Oh my God!” Freya clutches her chest, ears red and cheeks flushed. She calms herself down once she realizes it was just her stupid reflection. Before her is a mirror attached to the wall right in front of the bed. The mirror is blurry, it has stains that she couldn’t tell coming from where or what. It is big enough to take in her face and her torso.

“This doesn’t go with the room.” She mutters before reaching her hands forward with an attempt to pull out the mirror from the wall.

“It’s stuck?” Her hands pull harder, clutching her small hands on the wood covered sides of the mirror.

“Miss don’t!” The owner shows up out of nowhere and grabbed her arm away from the mirror. It terrified Freya for a second. The man notices her expression and retreats his hand right away.

“I’m sorry.” His eyes casts down, regret evident. “It’s just that the previous tenant requested not to remove the mirror at all.”

“It’s ugly and already foggy. It’s hard to even call it a mirror. What is there to keep?” She replies with knitted eyebrows. She didn’t want to sound disrespectful but she just couldn’t keep it to herself.  There is no way that it makes sense at all. The unit is now hers. Why would she allow something that was of the previous tenant to stay in the unit she already own?

“It was her last wish.”

“Sorry?”

“The previous tenant died of old age and the only wish she had is to keep the mirror in the unit.”  

The news broke her but at the same time it worried her. Freya couldn’t keep her mind off of the mirror hanging right in front of her bed. It felt odd to have something from a person who passed away, especially when she barely knows the person.

Everything’s settled now. All her things are inside the unit and the owner has already left with the reminder that she keeps the mirror. It bugs her so much that every time she passes by it, she keeps her eyes away from it.

It seriously creeps the hell out of Freya. The mirror bothers her so much that the first night she spends in her unit, she couldn’t sleep well. She tosses and turns, she grunts and gasps unable to keep her occupied mind to rest.

It’s still Wednesday night and it’s raining cats and dogs. If it doesn’t creep her out even more, thunder and lightning flashes through the open window. The harsh wind is entering through it, making Freya’s exposed shoulders shiver. She hurried to go under the covers a while ago and forgot to close the window. Freya decided to keep it that way. That to let the cold in and just sleep it off. Now rain started to enter as well, making her blanket damp and her shoulders literally shake. She know she have to go and close the window herself.

Her feet comes out first before the rest of her body follows. Her eyes are half shut, eyelids fluttering as she stretches her hands out reaching for the window. She drags the edge of it down and hooks it fast, locking it.

That was actually easy. She thought to herself. But she crosses that thought out once a lightning slams against a nearby tree. She yelps in shock, pushing her index fingers inside her ears, then turning around to ready for the loud boom of the thunder. It comes after 6 seconds, Freya had counted. Her eyes squeezes together throughout the whole sound, shaking up the glass window as it went. It’s scarily close!

Her back is flat against the wall beside the window. Eyes are open now while her palm is against her chest, calming her fastened heartbeats. This unconsciously led her eyes towards the mirror. She doesn’t notice this until another lightning flashes. The light hitting the mirror reflects against her face. It shined so bright it made her eyes squint for a second, but through this she finds something. Her curiosity led her right in front of the mirror. Freya reaches her open hand towards the bottom of the foggy mirror. There’s something written on it but it’s blurry. She takes a piece of cloth, the scarf she used a while ago, and presses it against the mirror. She vehemently wipes the stains and dust away from the bottom part of the mirror, uncovering a series of letters. The scarf falls from her grip, her feet moves back, trying to see the words better as they slowly form into words then sentences in her brain.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,

Show me the truth behind it all.

The other side, another world

Let my eyes see through the mirror.”

“What?” A deep chuckle escapes her chest. “Was the previous owner the Wicked Queen?” She tries to humor it.

Thunder rocks the sky again, making the mirror shake. Freya apologizes quickly for the stupid joke she made about the late tenant. She’s quite superstitious.

                                                          • • •

The twenty-three year old smashes her head with a pillow, groaning from the noise. Rock music is playing. It disrupts her peaceful sleep. Is this how thin the walls really are? The music seemed like it’s coming from her room. Her alarm doesn’t even sound like this. This is not an alarm, this is ear mutilation.

“Ya!” Freya cries, pushing her legs up in frustration. She finally sits up, ruffling her hair, whining. Thoughts of moving to another apartment crosses her mind. Everything wrong is here. Thin walls and a creepy antique mirror. It’s literally made out of a tenant’s nightmare!

She opens her eyes, finally, ready to demolish whoever is playing the noise (Freya don’t call rock genre as music). But she closes it again, smiling sheepishly. “I must be dreaming.” A forced grin follows then a laugh.

The terrified woman pushes herself back to the bed, covering herself with the duvet. Repeating the words that somehow brings comfort to the seemingly Halloween special episode of a morning, “I must be dreaming.” She keeps doing this until the rock music stopped. When it does, she pushes the duvet away from her then lifts her head to take a peek back to the mirror.

Her eyebrows furrow together as she tries to make out of the view on the mirror. It doesn’t look like a mirror now but more like an illusion. She’s looking into another room— another bed opposite of hers.

“What the f—“ she stops midway after she finds a man walking towards his bed with dark wet hair. His hair is so wet that the water dips from the strands. Some of the water droplets end up on his toned chest. Some lands on his pelvic area, just below his abs. The guy is pale and the lower part of his body is covered by a white towel. His wet hair is covering his line of sight and he seemed like he’s looking for something. Freya on the other hand— on the other side, has her saliva stuck in her throat. She didn’t move an inch. Her eyes are wide as an owl as she studies the man walking around his own room. He searches under the sheets (his bed and pillow covers are all in black), then on the cabinet right next to the bed. Freya clutches the ends of her duvet, her heart is thumping fast, as the man is walking closer to the mirror.

Is he going to pass through the mirror? That thought enters her now lagging brain.

“Where is it?” His voice is deep and groggy. It made Freya gulp. He is now rummaging under the mirror, looking for something. Freya quite understood that there must be a table under his mirror where he is searching. She could hear keys being pulled aside and plastic bottles falling over. A sigh then escapes the pale pink lips of the guy, his shoulder slouches. It looks like he had given up looking for it, whatever it is. Without any word, he pushes his hair up and stares right into the mirror, staring right into the eyes of a horrified Freya.

Freya didn’t break yet, because she’s still battling whether the guy could see her or not. There’s a silent, deafening pause that runs for a straight twenty seconds. The two did not blink at all during that time. Freya studied his face, looking for a sense of recognition. And she sees it, the slight quirk of the eyebrows. That is when she screams, loud. Her eyes are still on the guy and when she found him moving back from the mirror and running away from sight with his hands against his ears, she screamed even louder.

It got to a point where she strained her voice already that she decided to stop. The guy is no longer in sight but the room is still there. The mirror is no longer doing its sole purpose— instead it’s now a window to another person’s room. Freya slowly sits up, holding the duvet over her clothed torso. It’s as if she was the one found out topless and in a towel. She carefully put her feet down and stands up, eyes not leaving the mirror.

A slam of the door makes her jump a little, and it’s not her door. The guy shows up on the mirror again, now fully clothed. His hair is already brushed properly but still damp.

“Are you the new tenant?” His droopy, cold eyes follow her to the side of the window where she stood the night before, back flat against the wall. He does not seem so surprise of all this.

“Y-yeah.” Freya answers, stammering.

“How many days since?” The guy continued to probe as if the unit itself is his.

“Since yesterday?” Her mind is running with so many questions that even her answers sounds like one.

“And you read it already?” It didn’t sound like a question but more like a comment. A smirk forms over his lips after he says that. He opens his mouth again to say something but a call interrupts him. The guy follows the sound and finds the phone under the pillow. “There you are.” He mutters lowly.

Freya watches him intently as he goes on with his call. During this time, she studies him. She notices his slouchy posture and his unoccupied slender fingers casually making its way to the back of his ear, scratching that part. It seems like a habit, as he does it from time to time. She couldn’t get over how pale his complexion is for a man. He’s wearing a black shirt and black square pants casually, it makes his skin tone stand out more. Two rings cover his right middle and ring finger. Aside from playing with his ear, he also hiss from time to time when he is in thought. He doesn’t smile much too. He looks cold and reserved.

Freya slaps herself from almost believing that it is all real. She could never imagine something like this to be true in real life. It’s a childish dream.

Freya stuck to this idea and dropped the duvet. She approaches the mirror to face the nightmare— and hopefully wake up from it. When the guy finally ends the call with whoever he was talking with, he turns his face back to the mirror only to be surprised by the sudden close proximity he has with the new tenant.

“Woah,” he says in monotone. He steps back from the mirror, slightly caught off guard.

“I know this is a nightmare.” Freya purses her lip and stares back into the guy. He has now flopped back unto the mattress of his bed. There’s a hint of perfunctory in his demeanor. Uninterested and undisturbed, the complete opposite of what Freya is going through right now.

“Hey!” She pounds against the mirror, begging for his attention, begging for an answer, some kind of confirmation that this is just a nightmare. It’s when she notices the still existence of the mirror. Her hands does not pass through. She realizes it’s a barrier and not a complete portal.

The guy sits up finally, sighing loudly. Freya couldn’t tell if she really earned his interest or he’s just worried she might break the mirror.

“Where’s Tammy?” He asks, eyes cast down, dejected.

“T-tammy?” Who? Freya is already very confused and now he’s asking about someone who she doesn’t even know.

“The previous tenant, before you. The person who owns the mirror.” His voice break, and it breaks her heart too. She just realized that the man is looking for the old woman who stayed in the unit before her, and it seemed like doesn’t know that she had passed away already. Freya is put into a position she doesn’t know what to do or what the right thing to say.

“I know you know what happened to her.” He pushes, putting Freya in a corner.

“Sh-she passed …” Freya confesses. There’s no really point in lying. It seemed like the guy really cares enough to know— in fact he cares more than she thought because once he heard the words come out of her mouth, he stood and took a piece of a black clothing then covered the mirror with it. He shut her away and Freya never woke up from that dream— because in the very first place, it was never a dream.

~~~

The aliens came around two years ago.  Earth was shocked, but was also at the point of not caring.  The planet, as a whole, was so far into starvation and never-ending wars that the entire population of Earth was almost grateful to be obliterated by an unknown race.  Instead, the Sesh wanted to help Earth.  Medicine, food, and other necessities would be provided for all; for a price. Women.  The Sesh race would soon be gone as they had not produced more than a handful of women in the last century.  Earth, on the other hand, had an abundance of women.  The aliens figured Earth could share.  The few politicians who were left gave an unconvincing show of bravo and outrage, while the Sesh just went on with their plan only contacting the “leaders” out of courtesy.

People around the globe stood in awe when aliens and construction materials were beamed down to different parts of Earth.  Buildings went up in hours.  Each with a sign that said, “Intake Center”.  That was amazing, but the aliens themselves were more so.  They looked human, but more perfect.  More sculpted.  Somewhat harsh, and undeniably sexy.  They stood tall, lean, and had an air about them that said they could handle their own.

While everyone stood dumbfounded watching, huge screens dropped down from the sky hovering above the Intake Centers.  The screen flicked on, and the most beautiful man anyone had seen smiled at them all. His dark black hair fell roguishly over his large brown eyes.  His face looked as if it had been sculpted by a master who made every line perfect.  He had what must be a type of military uniform on. It was dark blue, and had different colored gems adorning his right sleeve.  Earth held its breath, as he began to speak in the native language of each country an Intake Center was established.

“Greetings to Earth. I am Emperor Seokjin of the Sesh. We are very happy to offer our services to your world.  We have food, medicine, and many other necessities that are scarce on your world.  As many of you already know, the Sesh race is dying out.  We would be honored if the women of your world would join with us to create the families that are needed to see the Sesh prosper.  These Intake Centers will be where the rules and regulations will be told to any who wish to join with a Sesh male.  Any woman who wants to make a life with a Sesh male will be treated with honor and respect.  She will be treasured above all.  We look forward to having a beneficial alliance with Earth.  May your life be full of peace.”  With one last radiant smile.  The screen went blank.

Riots started almost immediately.  The Sesh warriors who came down with the building materials, just watched with an almost detached amusement as everything that was thrown at them was unable to penetrate a force field that encompassed the whole Intake Centers.  Rocks, bullets, knifes, and even a missile produced from some end of the world cache could not pass through the field.  After two weeks, even the dumbest human understood that nothing they did could make the Sesh go away.  Little by little women began to make their way to the Intake Centers. This riled up the mobs again, but they fast learned that if they tried to forcibly stop a woman from entering an Intake Center, the Sesh had no qualms about doing whatever was necessary to save said woman.  Several men found their grasping arms broken.  It was done quickly and efficiently, with the Sesh helpfully pointing out where the attackers could get medical help at the new hospital down the street.

In less than three months, things had settled down into an uneasy truce.  Now it was two years later, and things had gotten somewhat better for Earth.  People were still greedy and mean.  So, the rich still got richer while the poor struggled.  It seemed that the Sesh were happy to let Earth manage what was given to them with little interference from them.  A voucher system was put into place for the women of Earth.  Someone who wanted to join with a Sesh had to have a voucher.  Vouchers were highly sought after, and for the poor seemed to be a pipe dream.  It seemed that humans could even mess up and turn an alien invasion into a way to screw each other over.

 ```

 Amy Toth was a thief, among other things.  She did have rules, though.  She would only steal from the rich.  Others of her trade would steal anything that they could, no matter who it was from. Amy figured that the poor already had it rough enough, and the rich would be fine being a few credits lighter. So that is why she was in the swank part of town, pretending to enjoy a fruity drink, which had cost her a pretty penny.  She had used more credits to shower, and had on her best set of cloths that she only used when she came to this part of town.  

Her mark was a woman so occupied laughing with her friends, that she had no clue her purse was open. On her first reconnaissance pass, Amy had noted that the woman’s wallet was small which had sealed the deal.  Figuring it was now or never, Amy proceeded with her plan.  Getting up from her table, Amy threw her cup away, before stumbling on nothing and going down hard in front of the marks table.

“Oh, no!  Are you okay?”

All the women jumped up with a cry, trying to help Amy.  Leaning her weight on the mark, Amy deftly lifted her wallet from the open purse and slid it into her pocket.  It was smooth and done in seconds.

“I’m so embarrassed!” Amy cried, in the high pitch nasal voice that all the uptowners seemed to use. “Thank you so much for helping me!” Giving an embarrassed laugh, Amy repeatedly thanked the women until she was around the corner.  Taking off at a run, she was two streets over before she started fishing into her pocket to see what she had managed to get.  Suddenly, her talkie went off.  Shoving the stolen wallet back into her pocket, Amy scrambled to pull her small talkie out of her other pocket.  The device had cost almost a years worth of savings, but Amy was happy to have it.

“What’s wrong?” Amy asked the second she clicked the answer button.  The only person who knew this number was her little sister, and her sister wouldn’t call unless something was wrong.  Amy began running even before her sister answered.

“They are here!” her sister whispered, obviously trying to make as little noise as possible.

“Stay in the emergency hole. I’m coming!” Amy clicked off and then ran faster than she ever had before.  She knew who “they” were.  Skif and his crew had been after Amy to join their operation.  She had said no more times than she could count.  Looks like the last no was one too many for them.  

Running through the back allies, Amy was soon climbing a fence that led to a totally different world than the part she was just in.  Throwing herself over, she hardly took notice of the ripping sound of her pant leg getting caught on the top before tumbling down on the hard dirt.  Scrambling up she took off running, crossing the old train tracks in record time.  Her lungs were on fire, but she pushed on.  She would die before she let anything happen to her sister.  Cutting up a garbage strewn street, she could see her front door wide open.  Charging up the rotting stairs, she bursts into the shabby apartment.

“If it aint Miss Amy. We was lookin’ for you.  Also lookin’ for your cutie sister.”

Amy tried to gulp air into her lungs.  “Get out Skif!” Amy managed to wheeze out, trying to take in the positions of Skif and his two men.  One was close to the hidey hole that Amy knew her sister was in.  Taking a few deeper breaths, Amy pushed her way through the men, and then turned to faced them.  Causing them to group around Skif and move away from where her sister was hiding.

“Is that any way to treat a friend, lovey?” Skif’s broken and yellowed teeth flashed in a tight smile as he took a few steps toward Amy.

“Not your friend.” Amy answered, standing her ground.  She reached into her back pocket and brought out her switch blade.  The click when the blade made its appearance made Skif’s eyes harden.

“You really think that little poker is gunna save you?” Skif asked, giving a little laugh.

Skif was the leader of a smallish gang.  Amy had hated him for years, but lately he had started looking at Amy’s sister, Lydia, with a hunger that made Amy want to throw up.  Soon after that had started, Skif began trying to get Amy to join his gang. Now it seems they were done playing nice.

“If you don’t leave by the count of 3, you will see how good I am with this here poker.” Amy never took her eyes off Skif, as she widened her stance.  Holding the knife in her fist, blade pointed down, she raised both her fists to chin level.  She would not go down without a fight, and she had been brawling on the streets since she was ten.  Her father had been part of the Old American military.  He had made sure Amy knew how to defend herself.

The sound of a gun being cocked, made Skif and his men whirl around to the front door.

“It seems you fellas need to listen to Amy and get out.”

Amy could have cried when she saw Digger standing in the doorway, his pistol pointed right at Skif. Digger was old, but was still a good shot.  Everyone knew that.  He had also been in the Old American military.

“Do you really think you can take all of us, old man?” Skif tried to laugh again, but Amy heard the unease in his voice.

“Well, I guess you can stay around and find out.” Digger’s voice was calm, and his hand holding the gun never shook.  “Or you could leave, and we can all pretend this never happened.”

The face-off lasted only a few seconds, before Skif laughed again.

“We’ll talk later.” He threw over his shoulder at Amy, before he and his men made their way out of the apartment, keeping a close eye on Digger who turned to let them through, but kept his gun on them the whole time.  Digger watched the gang until they were around the corner, and then came into the apartment and shut and locked the door.

“You and Lydia need to get different digs.” Digger said, putting the safety back on his gun and sitting down on the dilapidated couch.

“You too, and thanks.” Amy said as she knocked on the wall above the hole, letting Lydia know she could take the lock off.  A piece of the wall slid open, and Amy helped Lydia out of the hole.  Lydia was eight years old and small for her age, but soon the hole would be too little for her.  Amy had realized that there was an empty space between their own apartment and the neighbors when she accidentlly kicked a hole in the wall.  It housed some pipes, and would never be big enough for Amy, but it made a perfect space for Lydia to hide when needed.  Digger had helped her with the door, and most would never know it was there.

“You’ll need to make it quick.” Digger said as he went toward the door.  “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Amy watched as Digger left. She wanted to beg him to take them with him.  Wanted to stay together, but that was not how it worked in this world.  Digger did what he could.  Now they were each on their own.

“Grab the go bags!” Amy said to Lydia, who was already moving to where the emergency bags were kept.

Using her knife to lift a floor board, Amy grabbed all the saved credits hidden there.  Suddenly, she remembered the wallet she had stolen. Pulling it out of her pocket she was happy to see a good chunk of credits to add to her stash.  Taking a folded piece of paper out, Amy felt her breath leave her when she read.  It was a voucher!

“Lydia!  It’s a voucher!” Amy felt her hands shake as she held the voucher.

“The Sesh.” Lydia reached out a hand almost reverently to the piece of paper.

The two sisters looked stunned at each other, before Amy finally got to her feet. Shoving half the money into both packs before distributing the rest of it in the hidden pockets that she had sewn into both her and her sister’s clothing.

“Are we going to sell it?” Lydia asked.

Amy didn’t answer right away, assessing her options.  They could make a tidy sum by selling the voucher, but that took time.  Time, they didn’t have.  Skif could be back any moment, and no matter where they hid, Amy knew he would eventually find them.  So that left only one option.

“We are going to go to the Intake Center.  Now.” Amy said, hefting her backpack into place, then helping Lydia do the same.

“You mean, you are going to marry a Sesh?” Lydia asked, her eyes wide.

“Yes.” Amy said, not letting her fear show.  Everyone said that the Sesh were a noble race, that treated women well, but Amy never truly believed that they were as good as they claimed to be.  She wasn’t going to tell her sister that, though. Especially because this was their only option now.  “Let’s go.”

Amy and Lydia double checked that their bags were closed, and then headed out.  Glancing out the door, Amy didn’t see any of Skif’s men around. Grabbing Lydia’s hand, they ran down the stairs, and started towards the better part of town.  Toward the Intake Center.  Towards their chance to get off the hell that was Earth.

 ```

 Warrior 7th Class Yoongi of the Min Clan was tired.  Tired of inspecting Intake Centers.  Tired of the rotten planet called Earth.  Tired of all the crooked deals that made the help given by his people almost impossible for the truly poor to get.  He was at the Intake Center in an Old American city that was called Chicago. It was the last stop of the day, and he was looking forward to getting back to his ship.  They had already had all the formal pageantry that came with his arrival, and Yoongi was now conferring with the Warrior in charge.

Suddenly, loud voices could be heard coming from one of the receptionist areas.  Yoongi started toward the disturbance.  Coming around the corner, he could see one of the human receptionists glaring at another human who slapped her hands down on the desk and leaned in.

“It says I can bring any personal possessions that I want.” The woman said, tapping the pamphlet that briefly went over some of the rules of the Intake Center.

“Your little sister is not a personal possession.” The receptionist said, narrowing her eyes at the other woman.

“Says who?  Nowhere in the rules does it say I can’t bring a human. Besides, the Sesh would have another woman to join with when my sister grows up.  Two for the price of one!”

“That is ridiculous!” the receptionist also came to her feet and leaned toward the other woman.  Both of them looked like they were gearing up for an out and out battle.

Yoongi watched the clash with interest.  It was true that the woman’s claim that her sister was a personal possession was a bit crazy, but at the same time she did find a loop-hole in the rules.  One that if she pushed hard enough, would let her get her way.  Yoongi was sure that this woman would have no trouble pushing as hard as she needed to. Holding up his hand to stop the Warrior in charge from intervening, Yoongi crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.  It would be fun to see what this Earth woman had up her sleeve next.  He noted with growing interest that the woman was pretty. She was petite, with brown hair that was currently in a messy bun.  Her cloths were ripped and dirty in places, but all in all she was clean.  Her sister sat in a chair next to her.  The child seemed extremely small to Yoongi’s eyes. Her cloths were cheap, but clean. She had blond hair, and her big blue eyes were watching her sister.

“Why am I even talking to you?  I want to speak to whoever is in charge here!”

Yoongi figured that was his cue.  He had decided that he wanted this little human.

“I will allow you to bring your sister, if you join with me.” Yoongi called from where he was leaning against the wall, causing his men to gasp.  Straightening, he made his way toward the desk where his little human stood.

Amy looked up, and then took a step back.  There was a whole group of Sesh staring at her.  Trying to focus on what had just been said.  She looked at the Sesh who seemed to be the leader of the group.  He was dressed in the blue military uniform that all the Sesh seemed to wear.  He had silver hair, and almost black eyes.  He was not as tall as the other Sesh surrounding him, but he was still taller than her.

“I…I..What?” Amy wanted to smack herself.  She was stuttering like a fool.  She felt her face burn in embarrassment when the Sesh gave her a somewhat patronizing smile before repeating what he said.

“I will allow you to bring your sister, if you join with me.”

“Who are you?” Amy made herself stand tall and look directly in his eyes.

“Warrior 7th Class Yoongi of the Min Clan.  At your service.” Yoongi bowed.

“Ok.  Warrior what-its from the Min Clan.  Why should I join with you?”

“I will honor you and your sister.  I will keep you safe and happy.  We will be a family.  Plus, I’m the only one who can say yes to your claim that your sister is a personal possession.” Yoongi finished with a slight smirk.

Time and alcoholism had not been kind to Eom Kang Ha. The looks that he once used to manipulate anyone into doing whatever he asked were gone. Instead, he was now overweight and wrinkled, features distorted by overindulgence. 

Sunny thought it was about time the outside matched his inside.

“Hold still! Fuck. You’re still such a brat.” He growled, slamming her head back into the wall, the pain causing her to gurgle out a cry.

She stills, hoping he’ll relax and loosen his grip so she can run. As he feels her calming down, he removes both of his hands. Sunny finds her legs don’t seem to want to obey. Instead, she stands, shivering, waiting to see what this monster wants.

“Now,” he says conversationally, almost upbeat. “You’ve been very bad, you know, not answering my letter. Is that any way to treat your old man?”

She wanted to treat him to a knife in his God damn throat so he’d stop talking.

“I’ve always wondered how my girls were doing. How you were doing. Sun, my oldest and favorite daughter. Imagine my surprise when I learned that you both were doing just fine. More than fine. FAMOUS. The girl group Phoenix that is taking over the country, the news said. Wow. Don’t that just beat all. And your sister looks so grown up, looking exactly like me.” He’s petting Sunny’s hair, obviously trying to warm up to whatever he’s going to say.

“Don’t fucking talk about her. Just say whatever the fuck you want and leave.” Sunny hisses at him, jerking her head away from his touch. She was going to have to scrub herself raw later.

“Always with the back talk.” He sighs, eyes narrowing at her.

“Look, I’ll make this quick and simple. I need money, you’re famous and shit now. All I want is some monetary compensation for raising you kids, and I’ll leave you be.”

She gasps at the audacity of this fucking bastard.

“Newsflash. I raised myself, asshole, and Mina too. The only thing you did was put me through hell. Why the fuck would I pay you for that?”

“Well, it’s not like it’s just for me. I have to pay for your sister's upkeep too.” He grinned malevolently, leaving her confused.  

“What are you talking about? Why would you pay for Mina’s upkeep?”

“Oh, not Mina. I didn’t tell you yet?” He chuckles. “I have another daughter. Her mother died a few years ago, so I’m a single parent yet again.” He sighs, sounding so forlorn, but she knew better.

“You’re still a fucking horrible liar.” She scoffs, thinking that he was obviously willing to do anything for money.

“Not lying, sweetheart. She's sitting in the car like a good girl. See?” He gestures behind him.

At first, all Sunny sees is THE car. It’s still the same beat up piece of shit that he used to use to drive her to all of her “appointments.” She hated that car and wanted to smash the windows. She took a step forward to do just that when she saw her. A little girl, no more than ten or eleven, sitting in the same front seat that Sunny used to have to sit in. She was practically a carbon copy of Mina at that age. Not that surprising, considering Mina looked mostly like their father, while Sunny looked like their Mom. The girl had the same nose, same mouth, almost everything the same as Mina. Except for the eyes. It wasn’t so much the appearance, but her expression. THAT was all Sunny. The same vacant stare that meant your mind was elsewhere. The dark circles that no child should have. The red rim meaning you’d been crying for hours. Sunny knew those eyes well because she’d had them staring at her from the mirror all of her childhood.

She knew without a doubt that not only was this little girl her sister but that the bastard had already started the girl on the same path he’d put Sunny on.

Sunny could practically feel a giant ball of years of pent up rage boiling to the surface as she screamed. She turned from the scene and launched herself at her Father.

“You fucking piece of shit!” She screamed as she jumped on his back, grabbing his thinning hair to pull his face to one side as she punched him as well as she could from that angle. It wasn’t the best move or that efficient, but she felt good every time her fist touched his face.

She was blind with fury and had no idea how long she’d been screaming or punching, but suddenly she felt ripped away. She looked at the offending party, surprised to see the dorm security. They must have been alerted by her screams and come running. One was holding her back, whispering that it was time to stop, another was helping her Father up from the ground. Somehow, she’d managed to bring him down and pummeled him pretty good, judging by the blood streaming from his mouth and nose. Luckily, the guards were both aware of the letter from before and knew precisely who this was.

“Mr. Eom, this is private property, and Miss Yong is well within her rights to protect herself. Unless you want authorities brought in, I suggest you vacate the premises.” The security guard tells her Father, grabbing him by the arm and directing him towards his car.

Fuck! The car!

“WAIT!” She screams. “There’s a girl. Get the girl!” She’s gesturing frantically at the vehicle, and Kang Ha struggles against the grip of the guard.

“Dammit, Sun! Shut your fucking mouth!” He yells at her, spittle flying. 

“Who is she? Is she in danger?” The auburn haired guard that had been holding her back asks, voice still soft like he’s placating a child.

“She’s my sister. And he’s abusing her. We’ll deal with any trouble later, for now, we need to save her.” Sunny growls, yanking her arm from the guard and prowling towards the vehicle. She doesn’t see that the guard has placed himself in front of Kang Ha to block him in case he frees himself, keeping an eye on her progress.

Sunny slows her steps once she gets closer to the car. She knows she needs to be careful not to scare the girl. She opens the car door slowly and squats down to eye level. The girl looks at her, eyes still vacant, obviously waiting for direction. She’s so skinny and has bruises all over her visible skin. Her right eye shows signs of a healing bruise, and her bottom lip has recently been split open. Her hair is long, black, and oily; Probably hasn’t been washed in weeks. Sunny closes her eyes for a moment, the sight bringing back way too many unwelcome memories. She peels off her jacket, wrapping it around the girl, and gently leads her out of the car and over to the dorm. The girl gives no resistance, used to being herded around. Sunny stops in front of Kang Ha, and looks down at the little girl.

“Sweetie, look at him. This is the last time you’ll have to look at his face, so if there is anything you want to say to him, say it now. You can say anything, even if it’s mean.” Sunny softly urges, pulling the girl in front of her and placing her hands on her shoulders.

There was a tense moment of silence as Kang Ha looked at the two of them in disgust, still being kept in place by a guard.

“Anything?” The girl finally whispers faintly.

Sunny squeezes her shoulders gently in encouragement. “Anything. It can be long, or short. Silly, mean, whatever you want to say. You won’t get in trouble for any of it.” She knows that’s what the girl was most likely afraid of. Speaking without being asked infuriated her Father and usually led to being smacked around.

Under her hands, Sunny could feel as the girl tensed up and prepared to speak. The girl looked straight into the eyes of Eom Kang Ha and spoke loud and clear for the first time.

“I hate you.”

Obviously, that had been the last of her courage, because she quickly turned around and buried her face into Sunny’s stomach.

Sunny and the auburn haired guard exchange glances, both of their eyes suspiciously moist. He shakes his head and turns angrily to her Father.

“As you see, we’ll be holding onto the girl and wait to see what the authorities say about all this. If you leave the area now, I won’t beat you to a fucking pulp and claim self-defense.”

Sunny snorts at that, and grins at her Father, who is now turning a dangerous color of red.

“Fuck all of this. Keep the brat. She doesn’t bring in that much anymore.” Kang Ha scoffs, and Sunny wants to bury a blade in his neck right there.

The guard that still has a hold on Kang Ha drags him to his car, opens the door, and throws him inside. He then stands guard and watches as the car speeds off, writing down the license plate and immediately calling the police. 

Sunny strokes the girl's hair, muttering assurances. When it’s all clear, she pulls the girl away a little and kneels down.

“Sweetie, he’s gone. You’re going to stay with me for now. You’re going to have to tell me your name though. I can’t have strangers in my house. Stranger danger.” Sunny jokes, trying to calm the girl.

“Mai Ri.” She giggles, looking at Sunny shyly from her curtain of unwashed hair.

“Mai Ri. What a pretty name. Did HE tell you who I was?” She asked, not surprised when Mai Ri shook her head no.

“I’m your big sister. Actually, you have two big sisters. I’m the oldest, and Mina is next. Oh WOW, she’s a middle child now. She’s going to LOVE that.” Sunny laughs, thinking of Mina’s expression when she learns she’s not the baby anymore.

“There are also five other Unnies here to watch out for you. You’ll never have to see HIM again. You won’t have appointments anymore. None of us will hit you. You are safe.”

Sunny watches as her message becomes understood, Mai Ri’s eyes clearing bit by bit.

“No more appointments?”

“No more appointments.”

Mai Ri’s eyes flood with tears and she flings herself at Sunny, crying into her shoulder. Sunny coos and rubs Mai Ri’s back. She lets her get it out, knowing just how much the girl needed it.

Sunny hears a throat being cleared and looks up. It’s the auburn haired security guard, smiling at the two of them.  

“You guys should probably head up. I’ll comb the area, make sure it’s safe, then talk to your manager for you. She’ll want to hear about this so we can decide what other security measures to take. We’ll want to pursue everything we can against him, yeah?” He asks, laughing when Sunny mouths FUCK YES over Mai Ri’s shoulder. 

“Should probably also get the little miss there some new clothes.” He smiles kindly at Mai Ri, who is now sniffling, peeking up at the guard. She stands up and walks directly in front of the guard.

“Mister. You helped save me. What’s your name?”

“I’m Kyu.”

Mai Ri nods her head. “Thank you, Kyu.”

Kyu chuckles, patting Mai Ri’s head. “You’re welcome, little fairy,”

Mai Ri smiles up at him, obviously liking the new nickname.

Sunny smiles at the scene, and thanks Kyu herself. She knows it was probably hard for Mai Ri to do that. She remembered it had taken her years before she would even shake hands with a man. 

She grabs Mai Ri’s little hand and leads her up the steps. She prayed in her head to whatever deity would listen that no one would stop them before she could get Mai Ri into the safety of the dorm. They make it successfully through the lobby, and up the elevator, not running into a single person. Finally, they are in front of the door that leads to Phoenix’s dorm.

“You ready?” Sunny looks down at Mai Ri, who quickly nods her head in the affirmative.

“Here we go!”

Sunny opens the door and sees all of Phoenix lounging in front of the television, snacking on popcorn and laughing while watching some cutesie anime. The scene warms Sunny’s heart and, for once, she actually feels like her nickname. 

She squeezes Mai Ri’s hand encouragingly and clears her throat. Everyone stops and looks at Sunny, gazes dropping in confusion to the girl next to her.

“Hey, Sunny, who’s your friend?” Rose asks, smiling at the girl, eyes roaming over every bruise.

“Everyone, meet Mai Ri.” Sunny looks over at Mina, who hasn’t stopped staring at the girl. They lock eyes, Mina’s confused gaze meeting Sunny’s.

She'd completely forgotten that they were supposed to have a facetime that night.

He was going to be pissed.

Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the phone and called him back. As she waited and was forced to see the reflection of herself, she realized she'd forgotten to do all her skincare that morning. Her face was beyond dry, but she didn't have time to remedy that because Yoongi was answering her call.

The expression on his face was blank, but she could see the annoyance in his eyes and the way his jaw was rigid.

"Hi Yoon," she said.

Being calm was her best option, because if she tried to play innocent or too sweet, he'd be even more annoyed with her than he was. And she honestly felt bad so that was the last thing she wanted.

A minute went by and he just stared at her, his eyes almost never blinking. It made the silent treatment even more uncomfortable.

Kendall sighed. "I'm sorry, Yoongi. I really am. I've been writing nonstop all day and time just got away from me. I seriously didn't mean to forget. I even set an alarm on my desktop, but it didn't notify me."

Though her words seemed to soften his expression it only lasted for a moment, because then he was leaning closer to his phone with an obvious frown.

"Nonstop? You've been writing nonstop all day?"

Kendall cursed herself for that slip up. Of course, that would make him even more annoyed with her.

Not knowing what else to say she nodded.

Yoongi ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath before his full attention turned back to her. For a moment he still looked miffed, but soon enough his entire expression shifted to one of worry.

"Why?" he asked.

Knowing she'd already ended up on his bad side she took a moment to gather her thoughts. Articulating her reasons clearly would lead to less confusion and annoyance for him if she accidentally said something in a way she didn't mean it.

"You know I'm on deadline for this rewrite and I wanted to knock out as much as possible. And I know, I know it's a bit further away and I have time, but I have all these other things to do that I wanted to get a head start. Give myself time to breathe later on since I know I'm going to have to start that outline for the one duology that Ara and I have been talking about. Plus, I don't want to spend all my time while I'm in Korea writing. So, I didn't think that a goal of ten chapters today would hurt anything," she rambled.

"Ten?" he shouted.

Again, Kendall nodded.

There was a series of sighs that he let out before he spoke again.

"Were you wearing your wrist braces?"

"Yes."

"Did you take Tylenol before you started and then again a few hours later?"

"Yes."

"Did you move around some?"

"Kind of."

Another sigh.

"Did you eat?"

Kendall knew she was screwed, but she wasn't going to lie to him.

"I had a pop tart throughout the day, but nothing else," she said.

If his glare could kill, Kendall would've died the moment he looked at her. And she understood why. It hadn't been her intention not to eat. Not eating was never her intention, but when she was focused on something else and didn't feel any biological urges, she'd forget. Even if she did get hungry it wasn't long before it slipped her mind.

After another stare down he broke again, though that time the anger didn't leave his face; it merely softened a bit.

"My day was a late start so I'm having a late lunch. It's on the way. Order something and we'll eat together. And it better be something filling. I don't care about how late it is; you need to eat."

"I can do that," Kendall said.

Not wanting him to glare at her anymore she sprang into action. Propping the phone against the monitor she went to her browser and looked at the places she had bookmarked. She wasn't craving anything specific, so she went with a Chinese restaurant not too far from her. Quickly her order of chicken with broccoli and vegetable fried rice was placed. She even flipped her camera and raised the phone so he could see her do it.

"It says fifteen minutes," she said once it sent.

He grunted. "Mine should be here around that time too."

Even though he was more at ease because she got her life together he didn't look at her. He'd sat the phone against something, and his eyes were focused on the screen in front of him. Though she wanted a little more interaction with him she couldn't help but enjoy watching him focused on work.

After a few minutes she broke the silence.

"Did you get the samples I sent you?"

Yoongi nodded and said nothing, but then directed his gaze to the camera.

"But you didn't put that one cello piece in there. That and the synth drum track," he said.

Kendall's brows furrowed and she sat the phone back down to focus on her own screen. After going into her email, she saw that it was indeed missing something and huffed.

"I'll send the synth drum and this other thing I meant to give you, but you have to wait on the cello piece. I wanted to redo it. Something sounded off," she muttered.

Despite not looking at her phone she knew he was rolling his eyes at her.

"It sounded great. You're just being a perfectionist," he said.

Kendall scoffed. "Says the man who played me Clair de Lune so flawlessly that I cried and then had the nerve to say it didn't flow well enough."

Yoongi smacked his lips, but Kendall could see a small smile form. No matter how much he pushed it back down it flared up again.

After pressing send Kendall watched him closely and said nothing. Not even when he confirmed he got the tracks did she speak a word. She just watched him with a weird smile on her face.

When Yoongi looked her way, he was taken aback by how focused on him she was, but he didn't mind it one bit.

"What?" he asked.

Without thinking she said, "I love you."

Yoongi rolled his eyes but smiled wide at her words. "I love you too, idiot. You just need to do better at taking care of yourself. This shit isn't healthy."

Kendall nodded and continued to stare at him with love in her eyes. Yoongi stared back with the same intense feeling.

They remained like that until her food arrived, then they spent the rest of the night eating and watching Sailor Moon Crystal together until Kendall fell asleep.

Kendall tried not to be annoyed, she really did, but it just wasn't feasible. And it was beyond clear to Kihyun as he drove her from the airport to Yoongi's apartment.

"I'm sorry. I called him and Namjoon, but got no answer from either of them," he said.

That made Kendall sigh. Not because she was pissy, which she was, but because he'd apologized a million times since picking her up. He apologized more than Jungkook that time he thought he'd deleted the track she was working on. In neither instance was it their fault, but both men seemed insistent on quelling her agitation.

She turned her head and stared at Kihyun; whose eyes remained on the road.

"Ki, we've been over this already. You have nothing to apologize for, so stop it. I'm not mad at you. Hell, I'm not mad at all. Just annoyed. I promise."

Kihyun glanced at her as they came to a stop light. Though he appeared skeptical after a few seconds he nodded, and she watched his body physically relax. In turn she relaxed because she hated making people feel uncomfortable when they had done nothing to warrant her mood. She could save her agitation for later.

After about half an hour and some small talk they arrived at the entrance of the building. Kihyun got out to help her with her bags and after a hi-five she made her way inside. The guard on duty was one she was familiar with and he waved at her, a smile on his face. She returned it before heading into the elevator.

As she stood and watched the floor number change it was easy to settle back into her agitated state. Pulling her phone from her pocket she checked to see if there were any messages from the hour she hadn't looked at it. The only things were from her mom responding to her landing text, some emails, and social media notification. Not one message from any of the boys.

When the doors of the elevator finally parted, she practically stormed out, dragging her luggage behind her. She punched in the code into the keypad and just as she stepped into the apartment, she saw the reason Yoongi wasn't answering. On the small table next to the door sat his phone.

Rolling her eyes Kendall kicked off her shoes and fully entered the apartment, ensuring that the door locked behind her. Since she knew he wasn't home she went about her business. That meant taking her luggage and unpacking it and then going into the kitchen to make her a quick lunch. Which was reheated kimchi stew from the fridge and some rice.

By the time Kendall finished her food a wave of tired coursed through her. She'd slept well on the plane, but that didn't make her completely void of jet lag. Staying up was the goal, but after ten minutes of sitting and fighting sleep she realized a nap wouldn't hurt. It was only three in the afternoon anyway, so it wouldn't mess with her sleep that night.

Before she slept, she checked her phone one last time, but again there was nothing from any of the people she needed messages from. Sighing, she texted the group chat and all the boys separately asking why no one was answering. She didn't bother to try and wait for a response though, merely setting an alarm and passing out on the bed.

Her dreams were filled with normal everyday things, so it was a peaceful sleep. Once she'd woken up her body still felt that linger of tiredness, but it was mostly energized. Which was a miracle for a nap. Though once she tapped the screen of her phone, she realized it was because she'd been knocked out for six hours.

None of her alarms had woken her up.

"Damnit," she groaned.

After throwing a small fit she carefully rose from the bed and stretched out. She wondered if Yoongi had appeared, though since he wasn't in the bed with her or hadn't woken her up, she was sure he hadn't. And after a quick look around the apartment, including his studio, she was proven right.

Checking her phone, she went to every single chat and there was nothing, not even a read message. And she knew they kept those things on so they could drag each other when they didn't get a prompt response. Hell, she knew that half the time Jimin went to the bathroom was to check his phone where he wouldn't get scolded and yet nothing.

Tired of it she finally texted Sejin.

Kendall: Hey, Sejin. Is everyone alive? No one is answering my texts or calls.

She went to put down her phone after that, but there was a notification before she could.

Sejin: Today's just been a bit busy with practice and things. Is there something that you need? Something wrong? Do I need to get Yoongi? I know he accidentally left his phone at home.

All the questions made her laugh. Of course, he'd think something was wrong.

Kendall: Nothings wrong. And I know he left his phone. I saw it when I got in a few hours ago

The three dots came almost instantly and then stopped. It went on like that for a minute solid and Kendall had no clue what he could possibly be typing. Finally, it came in.

Sejin: That was today???

So, Yoongi wasn't the only one who'd forgotten about her. It didn't hurt her feelings any because while it was partially Sejin's job to remember it also wasn't. He wasn't the one who was supposed to come get her. Nor was he the one who left her sitting in the airport for almost two hours.

Kendall: Yes

Again, the dots, but he didn't take as long.

Sejin: I'm so sorry, Kendall. I had it down somewhere and it slipped my mind. How did no one get back to you? Yoongi didn't contact you? That punk. I'll let them no to get back to you. We just finished and everyone should be heading home now.

That didn't really warrant much of a response, so she said ok and thank you before throwing the phone on the couch. Them getting back to her was no longer a worry of hers, so she'd just continue with her evening.

Feeling disgusting she grabbed some stuff and went off to take a shower. The moment the hot water hit her skin was like a cleansing for her mind. Was her annoyance gone? No, but she felt calmer and much more relaxed. Well, at least until she remembered she'd gotten in without a shower cap on and scrambled away from the water. Thankfully, there was one already in there from when she'd been in Korea months before.

Refreshed, she hopped out the shower and got dressed. Settling on some short shorts and a tank top for her sleep attire. And after twisting her hair in large sections in order to put on her bonnet, she snagged one of Yoongi's hoodies to walk around in.

Hunger struck her again, so she found her phone and ordered from a place that had pho. It would take some time to get there and she was set on ignoring the messages from the boys that sat in her inbox. So, she went about straightening and cleaning things. She'd done the kitchen and the living room by the time she was notified the food was there. Slipping on her shoes she went down to get it, once back in the apartment she practically inhaled it.

She watched some random show while she ate, but once she was done the urge to be productive hit her. Grabbing her laptop from the bedroom she planned to work from the couch, but then her eyes drifted towards the hall where the studio was. Being fully immersed in her work sounded better to her, and she'd wanted to work on a track, so it made sense.

Kendall grabbed some water and a pop tart before heading into the studio.

It only took her a minute to set everything up. Even booting the computer up under her log in. Everything was just like she wanted it, thankfully. Sometimes when Yoongi typed in his password wrong too many times he used her log in and ended up altering how she liked to set up her software. It was a pain in the ass to fix.

He was a pain in the ass.

Not allowing herself to get worked up Kendall focused on the computer. Slipping on some headphones she played the track a few times before tweaking it. The goal was reggae trap, but it wasn't coming out that way at all, so she just went wherever it took her.

But twenty minutes in her phone wouldn't stop vibrating, so she was forced to deal with it. It was a series of messages from the boys. They'd all sent apologies separately, but also blew up the group chat. Scrolling through and reading them all took a solid two minutes.

She wasn't that upset with them. Much like Sejin they were supposed to remember, but weren't the ones with any real responsibility. It wasn't necessarily their job. Kendall was just being petty when she ignored their messages before.

Sighing, she realized that if she didn't reply they'd keep messaging her nonstop or start thinking she was pissed at them or something.

Kendall: It's fine. I'm annoyed and hate that I had to call Kihyun to come get me, but it's fine. I'm not mad at any of you. But I'm also trying to work, so maybe tone down the spamming

There was an overall okay in response to her and she went to set her phone down only for it to go off again. That time it was just Namjoon.

Namjoon: Did Yoongi call or text?

Kendall checked her phone for a message from someone other than Joon and there was none.

Kendall: No

Namjoon: Taehyung gave him his phone so he should get to you soon. And I swear that he feels like shit for forgetting.

Though she believed him, something in her questioned why he felt the need to emphasize that. And why Yoongi didn't just head home instead of using Tae's phone to contact her, but she chose not to ask Joon a million questions.

Kendall: Ok, thanks for letting me know

With that she got back to work but sat the phone on her thigh, so she'd feel when it went off. Enough time passed that she'd been so into her work that the vibrating almost went unnoticed. But when she realized it, she took off the headphones and answered the call from Tae's phone, though she did take note that it was over an hour later.

"Hello?" she said.

There was silence and then a gruff voice came through. "Hi, baby."

"Yes?" she wasn't going to play that game with him.

"I know I fucked up," he said.

"Accurate."

He laughed at that but kept going. "But I really need a favor from you and then I'll be on the way home. Where I will apologize thoroughly."

Of course, he needed something from her first. That explained her weird feeling about how bad he truly felt.

"What is it?" she asked.

A sigh of relief came through the phone. "There are some things in the folder labeled Jin and I need you to send it to me."

"Fine."

"Thank you so much. I love you."

In return all she did was grunt. Saving her own project, she logged out and logged into his. Within a minute or two she'd found the folder and sent it to him.

"It should be there," she said.

"Thank you. I swear I'll be home in forty-five minutes or less."

Kendall rolled her eyes. "Sure."

Right as he tried to say bye, she stopped him though, there was something else she needed to say.

"If your version of telling me your sorry involves sex, you're going to want to rethink your plan. It's not happening."

And with that she hung up.

Locking her phone, she threw it on the desk and refocused on her music. She wasn't going to let him derail what she was doing.

By the time thirty minutes passed Kendall was okay with where she was in terms of progress and knew she'd need to come back to it with fresh eyes. But she played it aloud a few times to see if she genuinely liked it.

Kendall was so immersed in listening she didn't realize that by the third playthrough she was no longer alone. Not until Yoongi's hands were on her shoulders. It caused her to jump, but when she registered his fingers she calmed down.

She then stopped the music and turned around to face him. He was looking all sweet and innocent, but she knew better than to give in to that.

"Go ahead," she said.

Yoongi immediately dropped the act and sighed. Then after staring at her for thirty seconds he moved closer and pushed her legs together. Before she could question that both of his knees were on either side of her thighs and he was sitting in her lap, his arms wrapping around her neck.

"Baby."

"Don't baby me mister."

Yoongi rolled his eyes but didn't retort.

"Kendall. I'm sorry I forgot about you today, I really am. I told myself last night, but then today was crazier than we thought it would be. It didn't help that I was up late working on this thing for Kook. Which meant I rushed out of the house forgetting my phone and then I was so wrapped up in work that nothing else crossed my mind," he rambled.

Kendall's eyes narrowed. "Pause. A thing for Kook? As in the thing you said you stopped working on and would pick up today when you had the chance. Because you'd already pulled three all-nighters this week and you needed the rest."

With each word Kendall became more annoyed and Yoongi realized he'd messed up.

She watched as he scrambled for something, but then finally gave up.

"Look, I know. I should've slept, especially since it takes me so much more energy to fake that I have energy in order to get through work. But inspiration hit and I just started working. Next thing I knew it was early in the morning and I needed to get ready for the day. I fucked up and I'll do better about it. I promise."

His words were sincere, and he wasn't the only one prone to doing that, so she couldn't be too upset with him.

"I get it. We both suck at taking better care of ourselves. We'll both do better," she said.

Yoongi nodded, removing one arm from around her neck so he could hold out his pinky. Smiling she linked her own with it.

"We'll do better," he said.

Kendall nodded and with that Yoongi got off her.

"I showered and ate dinner already, so how about we go to bed?" he asked.

A sarcastic laugh escaped Kendall and she shook her head.

"I said sex isn't happening."

Yoongi scoffed. "I just want to cuddle you, not sleep with you. Goodness, woman."

Though she didn't believe him Kendall shut everything down and allowed him to lead her out of the studio to the bedroom. There they snuggled up and watched TV. Yoongi copped several feels, especially on her butt, which he insisted was an accident.

But the truth was, they didn't do better. In fact, they got worse.

Comeback preparation came at them harder than usual and they had to dive into the chaos. Of course, it wasn't their first time handling it, but that didn't make things easier for either of them.

Yoongi was fully submerged in it, along with one or two projects outside of the group. Kendall wasn't essential for the album, but she still worked on it nearly every day. Plus, there were other groups she worked with that were preparing to comeback, along with all the writing she needed to get done. It was a blessing that projects in the western world were off limits to her during prep or the stress would've tripled.

To their credit they did try to keep things from getting out of hand, but it only took a week before they slipped into unhealthy habits. Their focus was so on getting things done so they were out of the way, that there was no thought about taking a moment to breathe. A moment to take a walk and not think about all the things that needed to be done.

If a thing they planned wasn't mandatory it wasn't going to happen. There were countless outings with friends that they flaked on. A cancelled lunch here, a trip to Lotte World there, jam sessions that were only meant for some fun and stress relief. Kendall nearly missed a friend's engagement party because she'd brushed off the reminder and twenty minutes before someone called to ask her when she was getting there.

At some point people stopped inviting them places and neither of them even noticed.

And that didn't even account for them flaking on each other. Date nights or plans to do even the grocery shopping were put off or forgotten about. Not that either of them ever brought it up, because even if they were aware enough to remember themselves something always caught their attention, so they forgot it even happened. Well, didn't happen.

It even reached the point where spending time together was sitting in Yoongi's studio and working on different things. Kendall preferred her studio for producing so she'd just bring her laptop in and write. Yoongi was usually the one to invite her, but he didn't stop staring at his screen or talking to one of the guys about a track long enough to say anything but hi.

It was getting out of control, but of the two Yoongi was the one dealing with all the stress and work better. He was pushing too hard and not taking proper care of himself, but sometimes logic would prevail. A snack would get eaten or he'd walk to a secluded park to write lyrics because he needed a change of scenery.

But even with his brief moments within reality, he was blind to the fact that Kendall was descending farther than he'd ever reached. He always had faith that she would be fine because she was strong enough to know when things truly needed to slow down, but she wasn't doing that. And right under his nose she was on a downward spiral.

For over a month he remained blind to that, everyone did. Or at least they weren't saying anything to him about it. Not that he listened much to what anyone told him when he was focused on something else.

However, at some point someone got fed up with the bullshit.

Kendall was on Yoongi's couch typing away on her laptop with music blasting through her headphones, while Yoongi sat at his desk writing lyrics. They'd started working on a song the night before that he needed help tweaking. Hours past rapidly as they brainstormed and worked through it. When that was figured out, she decided to write while he finished up.

Both neglected to notice that by the time Kendall's butt hit the couch it was seven in the morning. And they stayed like that until nine rolled around and Jin was bursting through the doors with bags in hand.

The suddenness startled them both and they stopped what they were doing to focus on him. They were met with an incredibly angry Jin and a smirking Taehyung who stood behind him watching the show.

"What time is it?" Jin asked.

"Uh..." Kendall shrugged, eyes flitting down to the bottom right of her computer screen.

When she saw the time, her eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped. There was a curse from Yoongi which indicated that he'd also checked.

"Mhm, and when were you supposed to leave?" he asked.

"No later than one," Yoongi mumbled.

"And why is that?"

"Because we've already been pushing it, so the rule has been imposed for everyone so not to overwork ourselves," Kendall said.

Jin nodded. "And yet, here you two are. Up for over twenty-four hours. Plus, you haven't eaten since who knows when. So, you're going home and today is an off day."

Yoongi opened his mouth to speak, but Jin just reiterated his point.

"You're both going to eat all of that. Only then will you be allowed to leave and when you leave, you're going to go home and rest. Don't make me have to come over and watch you do it either. I will know if you don't."

The way he glared at them meant there was no room for argument and Yoongi wasn't going to, but Kendall had something to say.

"Actually, I have a meeting at one that's like an hour away and then I have a session at four. So..."

That made Jin glare at her, but he didn't have anything else to say. Of course, arguing it was an option, but work was work and there was no way around that. Yoongi even had it in him to look displeased by the news.

Without saying anything Jin moved farther into the studio and shooed Yoongi out of his chair and onto the couch. From there he took a seat and started pulling things out of the bag he'd brought with him. Before they knew it, containers of steaming food were in each of their laps and Taehyung was handing them drinks.

Once they had the food, he stared them down and waited, but Yoongi was the only one who started eating right away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kendall playing with the food.

"Look, Jin we didn't mean too..."

"Just eat," Jin said, clearly not in the mood for an explanation.

After that nothing else was said and they both just sat there and ate their food. Every drop of food was consumed too because no matter how much they told him they were full he just stared at them until they continued.

It was like they were children.

When all the food was gone Jin directed to shut everything down and gather their stuff. Jin supervised every movement. It didn't stop there though. He got into the van that took them home and glared the entire drive there. Then he went up with them and watched as they both got ready for different things.

Yoongi prepared for bed and Kendall for her meetings. In half an hour of arrival she was out the door and Yoongi was down for the count.

But his sleep was only temporary.

After about twenty minutes he was up again, and his body didn't want to go back down. He gave up and dragged his feet out into the living room, where Jin was still present.

"Are you not leaving?" Yoongi asked, his voice gruff.

Jin was startled by him and jumped a little, but quickly collected himself and went back to the scowl that seemed permanent.

"Not until you've been out for a few hours. And maybe not until Ken gets back," Jin said.

Yoongi chuckled at that. "I can't sleep, and she might not be back for a while so you're going to get bored fast."

There was a moment or two of silence before Jin's expression shifted to something more distressed, a sigh escaping him.

"Yeah, I know."

That response through Yoongi off. Obviously, Jin would be tired of their antics but something about him read more than that. Yoongi couldn't pinpoint what else could be plaguing the oldest member, but he would find out. He hated seeing any of his brothers down and out.

Moving toward the couch he laid out a few feet from Jin and watched him closely.

"Something wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Yoongi asked.

That made Jin sigh again, but it was accompanied by a humorless laugh. After a second or so Jin nodded and turned to face Yoongi.

"Not when you're like this I can't."

Yoongi scoffed. "Of course, you can. I know I've been a little too focused lately, but you know I'm always here for you. You don't need to worry about that."

"You're the one I'm least worried about," he mumbled.

"Huh?"

For a moment Jin appeared conflicted, but then his expression turned serious. He turned his body so he was facing Yoongi full on and stared at him for a few seconds.

"Have you really not noticed Kendall's behavior?" Jin asked.

That made Yoongi frown. He'd been caught up in work, but he liked to think if something was wrong, he'd noticed it. There was nothing that came to mind though. All he was met with was memories of her being as engulfed in her work as him, which wasn't a great thing, but it wasn't that bad. She had a lot of work.

Though part of him felt like that line of thinking was stupid since he was on her constantly about taking care of herself. But of course, he shook it off, they were in a high-pressure time and sometimes things needed all their attention.

"She's been working a lot, but that's it. Did something happen?" he asked.

Jin groaned and wiped a hand over his face.

"You've both been working a lot, but she's taking it to an almost extreme level. Have you seriously not seen that she's almost always working on something or going somewhere to do more work? I'm not even sure that she gets much sleep at this point. Let alone eats enough. I'm sure this morning was the biggest meal she had in a few weeks."

That made Yoongi even more confused. "But I almost always see her when you guys force a group lunch. She eats then."

Jin pursed his lips. "Have you actually seen her eat or just pick at the food while typing away at her phone and basically running away when everyone else finishes?"

Yoongi tried to think back to all the times they'd eaten together, and he remembered eating at least half his meal, but never actually seeing Kendall eat. His attention always focused on his screen or notebook. And when he'd go to put the leftovers in the fridge or trash Kendall's containers would be beside her in the exact spot it was placed. But of course, she just happened to sit it back down there or ate out of it from that position. She wouldn't forgo food for long, so she had to be eating.

"Of course, she..." Yoongi started, but then he recalls seeing her walk down the hall one afternoon and having to lean against the wall for a moment with her eyes closed. That could've been a one time thing though. Couldn't it?

It reached a point where he just laid there with his mind going over every interaction they'd had since the prep began. He was finding all types of things that seemed normal at the time, but in hindsight didn't make any sense if she was taking proper care of herself.

"Listen," Jin said, regaining his attention. "You just need to talk to her. We've all tried, but she plays it off or has something else she needs to do. Jimin almost got her to listen, but she just went back into the habit a few hours later. You're the only one who can call her out on it. You both need to be called out, but I know you'll be fine. I'm scared she's going down a dangerous path."

At that Yoongi nodded, but he was still a bit lost in his own head. He couldn't believe that he'd missed so many signs. There was just no way.

Jin confronting him the week before had woken Yoongi up from what he was doing to himself. The way he'd slimmed down a bit and how no amount of skincare could save his face; the undereye bags were going strong. It wasn't good and so he made changes in order to be healthier. Even having the younger members enforce him taking breaks multiple times a day. It was easier to see how things were going down a bad path for him and he was eternally grateful for Jin helping pull him back as he always did.

However, with his newfound clarity and self-awareness he finally saw what was going on with Kendall. Finally, he was paying attention. He watched her for a week and could see that he'd missed everything. Even the biggest flag of them all, which was how she never left her studio if she didn't need to. He hadn't been looking for that before, so it got by him, but every day until who knows when she was in that room by herself working. Food set outside would go ignored and he was sure she never even peed.

How he'd been so far gone that none of those things caught his attention was still a major question, but he couldn't focus on that. His attention needed to be on figuring out how to handle Kendall. If someone didn't get her to snap out of it, she'd lose steam completely and enter a creative block. And she didn't need to do that when all her jobs were creative. Yoongi cared more about her health than her hitting a roadblock, but he knew that when she did that it was much worse for her mentally. She put too much pressure on herself.

So, he needed to be strategic about it. Coming straight at her would do no good and if he was too nice or tried too hard to get her to forgo something to do something else, she'd suspect him. The only choice was for her lone plan for the day to be cancelled to create a slot where she was free. It would be hard for her to turn him down then, so he did what he had to.

Yoongi pulled out his phone and called Kihyun. His friend answered after a few rings.

"Hello."

"Hey, Kihyun. I have a question," Yoongi said.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Is the thing that you're working with Ken on something urgent? Can it be postponed or something?"

"Yes. Yes, it can!" Kihyun shouted.

It shocked Yoongi. "Uh, okay..."

A throat cleared and then Kihyun was speaking at a normal level. "Sorry. It's just the last time she came to work on the song she looked so tired. And even though she was working as well as usual there seemed to be a lack of her normal spark. I asked her about it, and she brushed me off, but I've been worrying about it. So, it can definitely be put on hold so she can rest or whatever you have in mind."

Everyone, but Yoongi had been paying attention it seemed.

"Yeah, I want to get her to rest. But listen, I need you to make up a reason why it's pushed to another day. She cannot know that I'm the reason that this was cancelled. Getting her to stop depends on her not knowing."

"Okay, I can do that. I'll text her now and then text you when it's done," Kihyun said.

"Thanks man."

"No problem."

With that they hung up and Yoongi shut down everything and prepared to head out. But he couldn't just stroll into her office after she got the news, so he played on his phone for half an hour after getting the confirmation text. After that he just casually made his way to her studio, knocking before letting himself in.

What he was met with was her sitting on the couch and staring at her table with a pen in hand. She was making edits, which made his appearance even better time wise. If she was doing it then that meant she was ahead of her schedule in some way and was even less likely to turn him down.

"Hey, baby. I was going to head out for some food. You want to come?" Yoongi asked.

For a moment or two she didn't say anything, but that was unsurprising since he'd asked as she started to write on the screen. Once she was done with the task at hand her attention became his and he truly saw the tired in her face. The bags under her eyes were prominent and her usually plump cheeks weren't as chubby. It made him feel even worse for not noticing it before.

"Uh. I'm not really hungry." she said, her voice softer than usual.

"But you were gone before breakfast. Come eat with me. Unless you have something else planned?"

That made her sigh and deflate a little. Yoongi almost felt bad for messing with her schedule, but it needed to be done.

"No. Ki said that something in his schedule changed so he'd need to meet with me another day."

Yoongi tried his best to seem chill about it. "Damn, that sucks. I hope they aren't overworking him over there as per usual. Okay, then you can come eat with me since your meeting fell through."

Again, he was met with no response for several seconds, but then she nodded her head and carefully rose from the couch. It was clear that it disoriented her a little, but Yoongi couldn't react to it. He had to let her move at her own pace and get her where he wanted her to be.

As she packed up her stuff, he kept a close eye on her.

"Is there anything you want to get in particular?" she asked.

Yoongi shook his head. "Nah, not really. I was thinking something close by, but then I also remembered that Jin put some kimchi stew in the fridge so we could just eat that."

Kendall froze and that worried Yoongi, he did not need to be found out so early. But when she turned around, she smiled at him.

"That sounds really good."

He returned the smile. "Great. I already had one of the vans waiting out front for me, so we can just tell them where we're going."

Kendall nodded and then motioned for Yoongi to lead the way. When he turned around, he released a deep breath and led them out of the building and into the awaiting van. Once they were on the road it was silent between them, but he didn't mind. He needed to ensure that he didn't say something too soon and if they got talking, he would slip up.

Once they arrived home, he led her upstairs with a hand wrapped around her waist, which wasn't something unusual. It appeared like affection to her and everyone else, but it was mostly him trying to keep her stable enough that she didn't sway or stumble. If that happened, she'd get defensive when he asked if she was okay.

They got into the apartment without issue and Yoongi got to work reheating the food so they could eat. Kendall took a seat at the dining room table and began editing again. It wasn't too intensive, so he let it be, but the moment the stew was ready, and he had some side dishes he had her put it away.

Again, they sat in silence, though that time he turned on the TV and put Brooklyn Nine-Nine on in the background. It drew in some of her attention and that's what he wanted. He needed her calm and comfortable. If she got a filling lunch and was somewhat immersed in the show some of her walls would be down. It also helped that he genuinely enjoyed the series and she knew that, so it didn't appear that he was trying anything.

But despite Yoongi's careful steps Kendall saw through him. After he'd taken the dishes to the kitchen, he returned to find her waiting for him with her arms crossed.

"What?" he asked.

"You're up to something."

That made his heart rate spike, but he'd perfected a steady expression over the years so of course that didn't show.

"What are you talking about?"

"We haven't spent real time together in a while and now you're actively seeking me out. Plus, you've been watching me a lot over the last two days. It's weird and sudden. So, what are you up to?" she asked.

"I'm not allowed to show interest and want to spend time with you now? That's suddenly... actually, no. I'm not going to do this. We'll go back and forth for forever and I'm just going to get to the point. I've stopped being so caught up in work that I noticed that you're too caught up in it. You're not taking care of yourself and I'm worried about you. Many people are worried about you. I thought we could spend some time together and that means you would rest."

Kendall's expression went from suspicious to annoyed. One of her brows raised and she rose from her seat, though she didn't move closer to Yoongi. In fact, he saw her take the smallest step back.

"So, what? You were going to try to get me to bend to your will by using things I like to lull me into a sense of comfort? Thought that would be enough to get me to forget about all the work I have to do?"

"No, I..."

"And then what? Get me to sleep? Make sure I stay in bed until tomorrow? Or were you planning on trying to get me to not work the rest of the week? Something that would put me back severely since I have things to do. Something that..."

"Stop!" he shouted. "Yes, I wanted you to take a break. And I would've loved if it was for the rest of the day. I would love for you to just sit down for a moment and relax. To sleep more than you do. To eat more than you do. I'd love for things to not be how they are now. But I wasn't and don't plan to commit some grand conspiracy against you, Kendall. I just want you to slow down and breathe."

There was silence and then Kendall scoffed. "When you're doing it it's fine, but when it's me there is suddenly this major problem. I'm fine. I'm stressed and working a lot, but I'm fine. This isn't anything that I can't handle. I've had more to do, so it's not a problem. But a problem occurs when everyone seems to think they need to insert themselves into my life for one reason or the other. I don't need to be watched like a child who can't function on her own. I'm more than capable."

Yoongi sighed and ran a hand over his face. Of course, things were taking a turn. She reacted much like him when backed into a corner when they swore, they were okay when in truth it felt like life was drowning them.

"No one is saying you're not capable, Kendall. We just want you healthy and not pushing yourself so much. You're losing weight and you look so drained of energy all the time. Even Kihyun said something was off during your last session. That you had your same work ethic, but your usual energy was gone," Yoongi said gently.

He hoped that his words would change something within her, and they did, but she was angry which wasn't the goal.

Kendall took a deep breath; her fists clenched and unclenched a few times before she glanced at Yoongi.

"Kihyun? Is that why he canceled? Because I don't seem well enough? Great."

Yoongi took a step forward, but she took two steps back.

"Everyone seems to have these grand ideas about what I should be doing and making decisions on my behalf. So, I'm going to let you all do what you want to do. But I won't be around to let you do it. I have things to get done today and Kihyun canceling means I have more time. So, if you need me for my job then let me know. Other than that, back the hell off."

With that she grabbed her stuff and was headed towards the door. Yoongi went after her, but after she slipped on her shoes she whipped around and held her hand up to stop him.

"I'll be sleeping somewhere else tonight. Don't wait up or come looking for me to make sure that I'm sleeping up to your standards."

And with that she was gone. Yoongi was left cursing himself and wishing he'd handled things differently. Maybe if he had she'd be still in the apartment. If he'd only caught on sooner maybe the evening would've been spent cuddled together on the couch or in bed. Honestly, anything was better than what happened.

Yoongi couldn't help but feel like he'd messed everything up.

Despite wanting to fix things as soon as they happened Yoongi waited it out. He knew that coming at Kendall again would just yield another argument and he didn't want that. Especially because he was likely to lose his cool and things would become worse.

So, he sat back and let her do what she wanted for a few days. Every time he ate, he grabbed her food, sat it near the door and walked away. Sometimes it would be gone when he went by again, but more often than not it was still sitting there. It was frustrating, but he didn't let up and just kept doing it. There were even little notes where he left her with encouraging messages or that relayed how much he loved her. He hoped it would help soften her and that she'd see his true intentions.

And when they worked together, he was his usual self. There was no pressure to eat, drink, or rest. Kendall had already taken to avoiding him, so he didn't want her to just completely ignore his existence. He only got such brief time with her to make sure she was okay, and he refused to risk it.

The method was honestly great for the first few days, but then after two days in a row with food untouched and her barely leaving the office he'd had enough. The boys could see it too, they watched as he was pushed over the edge.

They stood in the middle of the practice room discussing the choreography they went over a few times. It was the early stages, they were more worried about everyone getting it than it being in sync, so the topic of discussion was one move that almost everyone was struggling with.

But it was during Namjoon explaining that maybe they could alter the instrumental a little to fit that shit hit the fan.

"I could talk to Kendall about it. Of course, making changes is a bit much but it would be kind of cool. None of us are doing it as smoothly as needed and we were discussing adding more of that slightly disjointed sound to the chorus. It wouldn't take much time at all," Namjoon said.

Hoseok pursed his lips and nodded. "But when can she do it? Of course, we can practice it with that in mind, but we need to hear it and get approval before we make that choice. And she said she had a lot to do today. Something about having a new project to work on and needing to prepar..."

When Yoongi heard she took on another project his head snapped up, his eyes focused on Hoseok. The younger male was startled by the attention, especially since Yoongi was glaring at him.

"She has another what?" Yoongi said, practically shouting the words.

No one said a thing, but then after they all were the focus of his glare Jungkook said something.

"Yeah, she took on this thing for some artist she really likes. They're an American one, but she wanted it more than she cared about sticking to her rule during comeback prep."

The rage that filled Yoongi was swift and before anyone could utter another word, he was storming out of the practice room. He didn't stop until he reached the elevators, but as he waited for the doors to open, he could feel his emotions intensify. It was time to put an end to the situation and he didn't care about her being upset with him.

"Where are you going?" Namjoon called out as he caught up with Yoongi.

"To stop this shit."

"Yoongi, you can't just come at her all pissed off. She doesn't respond well to that, you know this," Joon tried to reason.

"I'm not going to her."

Just as he said that the doors opened, and he stepped through. Namjoon stood and watched him, conflict clear in his expression. Yoongi waited a second, but when he didn't make a move, he pressed the floor number. Just before the doors closed Namjoon slid in after him.

The elevator ride was tense and quiet. Yoongi was trying to control his anger so that he wouldn't lash out at anyone. No one was at fault for this and there was no need for them to have to deal with his issues. Even if they were all willing, he'd hate if he'd made anyone too uncomfortable once everything was over.

When the doors opened, they walked out and the secretary simply nodded and pointed towards their destination. After knocking and being granted entrance they walked into Bang's office.

Their boss looked prepared for their arrival and Yoongi was sure one of the boys put two and two together and warned him. He didn't mind though; it was easier to handle it if he didn't have to just show up and lay it all out when he least expected it.

"Is there something I can help you with, Yoongi?" Bang asked.

Taking a deep breath Yoongi collected himself and then nodded. "Yes, there is. Kendall has been a little, well a lot overwhelmed the last few months. She's working more than she needs to and not taking care of herself properly. Obviously, some of this stuff is out of your domain, but a lot of it is work on producing and writing. It's reached a point where she won't listen and even when things fall through, she finds a million other things to do in its place. I know that her main focus is on the girl group debut and you wanted her to take full control of that, but they won't even be announced for a few months and she's way ahead of schedule. So, what I'm asking for is her taking a break. She'll have more than enough time to come back to it and have them ready. But right now, she needs to step back. I need her to step back before things get worse."

Yoongi hadn't meant to be long winded, but once he started talking it all came out. And that included the distress he was feeling. His voice went up a few octaves and he was pleading with Bang to agree with him. He needed for him to give the go ahead.

It was silent for a moment, but then Bang nodded. "I've noticed that she's been working a lot, but I didn't know to what extent. She's farther ahead then what we talked about. Practically finished the album. So, we can put a hold on any more work until she's had proper rest. If that needs to start today, then it can. I'll send the email and make the call."

After nodding and giving a brief thank you Yoongi was out the door and back in the elevator with Namjoon hot on his heels.

"What are you going to do?" Namjoon asked.

"We're going home."

"And if she doesn't choose to go? You know she's not just going to agree. So, what are you going to do?"

For a while Yoongi didn't say anything, but the moment he stepped off the elevator he turned to face Joon.

"I'm going to tell her too much time has gone."

Namjoon's eyes widened at that, but Yoongi could see on his face he understood. That phrase - too much time has gone - was used when there was something serious they needed to talk about. Something where one of them needed to be heard out and it invoked the urge to listen better with the other. Kendall wouldn't be able to refuse and would have to see how concerned he was.

He hated using it because it always left him on edge when she used it and he would assume the worst, so he knew she had to feel it too when he did it.

"Call or text me after. Okay?" Namjoon said.

Yoongi nodded and then turned to walk down the hall. He made a quick stop in the practice room to grab his stuff and then did the same in his office. Once packed up he headed towards her studio. As he went, he prepared himself for a shit show and he really wished it didn't need to be, but he'd accept that if it meant she'd be okay.

When he walked up to the door the bag of food he'd left earlier was gone and that helped calm him. At least she ate something. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door but got nothing. Several knocks and doorbell rings later he put in the passcode and entered the studio. Instead of finding Kendall immersed in her work he was met with darkness, which was weird because she didn't have any outside work.

Yoongi flipped the switch and found everything was shut down, but something on her desk caught his eye. He moved closer and saw the bag of food, which was still untouched, but before he could focus on that his eyes drifted to the note on the desk. It was the one he left, and it read: You're doing a great job, baby. I got your favorite. I love you.

The paper was wet unlike it had been when he dropped it off and it only took a second to realize that it was from tears. Even the space around it had a few drops here and there.

His first thoughts were about if she was okay and the next were hoping that maybe they'd just been from him finally breaking through to her. Either way she needed to be found.

Yoongi sprinted out of the room and slammed into SlowRabbit who looked at him confused, but then noticed where he was coming from.

"Ken went home. Said she needed to do something," SlowRabbit said.

Muttering a quick thank you Yoongi was running again. He needed to get home fast. Thankfully once he got to the lobby Joon was waiting there with one of the drivers, once they saw him the driver headed to a car out front and Yoongi moved after him.

The drive to the apartment was tense. There was a giddiness inside of him as he clung to the idea that she'd finally seen the light, but there was also a deep-rooted fear of what could happen if she wasn't coming back to reality. It left him all over the place and sweating more than he had during dance practice.

Once in his building he felt his anxiety diminish, but for some reason he walked very slowly through the lobby and to the elevators. Like he was stalling for time trying to come up with something, but in truth his mind was completely blank. Even as the elevator indicated he was getting closer to his floor his mind remained emptied.

It was weird.

As the doors opened, he started to think again, but that quickly came to a halt. At the end of the hall there was a person collapsed onto the floor. Panic filled him and he sprinted out to them, dropping to his knees to make sure they were okay.

"Excuse me? Hey. Hey. Wake up." He chanted as he carefully rolled them over.

When he saw the face, he stopped breathing. For some reason it didn't register in his head that the person was on his floor and in front of his door. It didn't register that the person could be Kendall. Until he saw her face.

"Kendall! Kendall! Baby!"

He shook her gently, one of his hands going to cup her face. She wasn't responding or even moving and that panicked him more. His mind raced and he continued trying to get her to wake up. Screaming her name and shaking her to get some sort of response.

It took a minute or so before it clicked with him that he needed to act. That there was no time to waste.

He placed his fingers under her nose and waited, after a few seconds he was sure that she was still breathing. It wasn't strong, but it was something. He then fumbled in his pocket for his phone and when it was finally in his clutches, he dialed emergency services. His eyes never left Kendall's face and his finger remained under her nose.

When they answered he had a response ready, but instead of words a sob broke free. The tears came soon after and he was finding it hard to say anything.

"Hello? Hello? I can hear you crying, dear. Please tell me what's wrong," a soft voice said on the other end.

Yoongi took a breath and reminded himself what was at stake.

"My... my girlfriend collapsed, and I don't know how long she's been out. I found her in the hallway of our apartment building. Her breathing... her... her breathing isn't as strong as it should be. And neither is her... pul... pulse." He finally managed to choke out.

"Okay. I'm glad that you checked all those things out. If she's still breathing, there's a chance she's fine. Can you give me the location?"

He mumbled off the address and what floor they were on. As he spoke more, he calmed, but the tears never stopped and at any given moment he was hit with an intense wave of distress.

Yoongi's eyes never left Kendall, even as the dispatcher kept him talking so he wouldn't freak out too much. He couldn't take his eyes off her. The last time he'd done that led him to the pain he was enduring in that moment.

Kendall's body felt too hot and she needed to cool off but no matter how much she adjusted there was no escape. At some point she was forced to wake up and try to free herself, but the moment that her eyes opened she felt disoriented.

Everything was fuzzy and her head felt swimmy. It was as if she wasn't grounded and she didn't know why. Of course, she wanted to fight for some clarity, but she knew she'd needed to just let it pass first. So, she waited until her vision cleared and she felt settled before trying to figure anything else out.

Who knows how much time passed before she could make out her surroundings, but when she could confusion filled her. She wasn't in the apartment or in her studio, but what looked like a hospital room. But for the life of her she couldn't figure out why she'd be there.

Kendall searched her memory for something, but it was as clouded as her vision had been. She didn't let that stop her though, she focused on what she could last remember until snippets of her day came up. They were so short that she couldn't make anything out of them though. It was frustrating, but she needed answers and she was alone so there was no one to give them.

At least she thought she was alone.

As Kendall took in her surroundings and then herself, she finally noticed that she wasn't the only one in the hospital bed. Next to her lay Yoongi. He was asleep and looked so peaceful that she momentarily forgot what she was doing. It had been so long since she'd seen him like that and she wanted to savor it, but before she could even get comfortable with the idea it all came rushing back to her.

She'd been working on a track that was proving difficult for her. The idea she had in her head wouldn't translate into the actual work. Nothing she tried was working and she was close to screaming about it. Instead she decided to take a step back and finish some things on a different track for a friend. It would give her a break and the chance to get some more work done.

Halfway through that hunger struck her and she'd peeked out to see if Yoongi left any food for her like he had been. Kendall was still upset with him for actively trying to hinder her work, but she appreciated the gesture because she often forgot to eat. It wasn't that big a deal, but not having to search for food when she finally decided to eat was a good thing.

She'd grabbed the food and brought it in, but as she opened the bag there was a post-it on top. It wasn't surprising since he left them with every meal and she'd planned to sit it aside, but then she read the words. For some reason something in her finally snapped and she felt her body droop and tears fall from her eyes.

Yoongi was being so caring and loving, even after she lashed out at him. He was making sure that she at least ate and reminding her constantly that she was doing great and was enough. She'd been so caught up in doing everything that she'd let those things slip away from her. Let herself reach a point where she was so tired all the time and barely functioning mentally but using the excuse of needing to stay ahead as a reason to keep going. As a reason to not take a moment to breathe.

Kendall ran herself into the ground. And instead of giving into him and taking in what he tried to tell her she'd pushed herself further to prove a point.

But she was tired of proving that point.

So, after crying she packed her stuff and planned to head home. Yoongi was practicing so she didn't want to disturb him. She'd planned to text him after she got home and showered, it would be enough time for the boys to be taking a break. After telling Slow Rabbit she was leaving, a van took her to the apartment and she was eager to finally stop being so hardheaded so she could rest. However, as she got onto the elevator, she felt weird, but couldn't pinpoint why. She brushed it off as being tired and thought maybe she should nap and then shower.

But as she got off the elevator and walked towards the door everything around her shifted. It was like a kaleidoscope was right in front of her eyes and before she knew it her body was falling in slow motion. After that everything was blank.

The moment her brain caught up she felt herself tear up; she'd fucked up. Not only had she done damage to her body, but she couldn't imagine how Yoongi felt. Had he been the one to find her? Was he notified as he tried to live out his day? She hoped she hadn't scared him too much.

As the tears fell her hand moved to caress his cheek. At her touch he shifted but didn't wake up. Leaning down she pressed a kiss to his forehead. It was soft and lingered for several seconds. When she pulled away though, his eyes were wide open, and he was staring at her. The sadness was clear, but there was also some relief.

"Baby," he whispered.

Kendall didn't get the chance to say anything though, because he was kissing all over her face in seconds. After he pulled her tight, burying his face in her neck.

"You scared the shit out of me, Kendall. You can't keep doing this shit, okay? It needs to stop," he mumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry," she said.

It was all she could think to say. She wanted to explain herself, but it didn't feel like the right time, so she let it be.

They spent the rest of the day like that. Even when the doctors came in Yoongi didn't stray too far from her, he always had to be touching her. If he couldn't be in the bed with her then he was holding her hand and if she left to use the bathroom, he would snatch it up the moment she was out.

It hurt her heart to see him like that. To watch him look at her as if she were going to slip through his fingers and disappear.

"I'm sorry," she started. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I should've listened to all of you and stopped letting work take over, but I just pushed myself harder. And when it finally clicked, when your note put me back into reality, I was going to take a break. I'd gone home to shower and rest. I was going to message you after to not be a disturbance and because I knew we were going to need to talk, but I didn't get the chance. I didn't mean for it to get this far."

Yoongi just watched her as she spoke, nodding along to show that he was listening. When she finished, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. He murmured about how it would be okay, and they would deal with it later. Kendall didn't think that wise, but then the boys showed up to pay her a visit and lightly scold her, so the moment was lost.

After her explanation Yoongi still remained close by, but she noticed a shift in him. His relief faded and he relaxed more, but something else rose to the surface. He was clearly annoyed and though she wanted to ask if he was okay, she knew it was best not to. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know why he was upset. Kendall expected his rage to surface at some point, but she wished it made him more vocal.

Instead of scolding her or just straight up yelling he remained silent. They didn't speak much and any conversations she tried to start fizzled within seconds. It left things tense all the time and despite the guilt it grew tiresome.

Thankfully, they only kept her for a day after she'd woken up so she could rest at home. That meant that she wasn't confined in one room with him watching her with his underlying anger, but it didn't make her feel any less uncomfortable. Yoongi still made sure she rested, took her medication, and ate. He worked outside of the home studio to keep an eye on her but kept his distance. And his silence remained. He'd even mastered answering her questions without saying a single word and after three days Kendall was over it.

She'd come home from the hospital still quite drained, but with eating regularly and resting her energy returned to her. Which meant she could risk exerting herself a bit to push the issue. And after he'd blatantly ignored a question she asked it was hard not to snap.

"Can you just fucking yell at me already? I get you have some stuff to work through and are probably trying to figure out how you want to address this, but please just do it. Just say what you want to say. Yell. Cuss. Tell me you hate me. I don't care. Just please say something!" she blurted out.

That made him pause and turn around to face her. His expression was one that he wore when he was pissed off and though it made her stomach drop it's what she wanted. What she needed.

Yoongi laughed after a few seconds. One of those humorless ones, that were so loud and obnoxious that they seemed fake. It lasted for a moment and then he abruptly stopped, taking a few steps forward so they were only two feet apart.

"Okay. I'll talk. We both went off the deep in and got too caught up in things. You more than me, but we're both guilty of it. But I was so off in my own damn world that I didn't notice you were taking it a step too far. I had to be told by Jin, who saw it from the start and tried to help. I had to be told to take a closer look at my girlfriend who I saw often, and thought was okay. I fucked up and part of this is on me. No matter what you say I'm sticking to that because I know how far you can go, and I wasn't seeing the signs. Hell, I even encouraged it with my own behavior.

"But then you have to be so damn stubborn about things. You have to think because there are no obvious effects on you that you're doing okay and that everyone else is seeing things. You push yourself too hard, Kendall. No matter how overwhelmed you are, you push so hard as if you can't take a breath. As if you couldn't half ass it and still come out with some great work. And you let yourself get so in your head that you fucking forgot that and neglected yourself. Barely ate. Barely slept. Barely did anything besides work, even when there shouldn't have been any work to do. And that shit ended with me fucking finding you passed out on the ground in front of our home. Of me fearing that you weren't going to be... be... that you weren't going to be okay. This entire situation is fucked up and I need some time, okay?

So, let me have my time to fucking think. Let me have the chance to stop being mad at you and me, so we can try to move the hell forward after this shit show."

With that he turned on his heel and walked away. He went into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. It left Kendall alone in the living room feeling worse than she had when she woke up in the hospital. She knew she had no valid reason to cry since she'd brought this on herself, but it felt like her heart was ripped out of her chest.

It was great. Trying to carefully put together the house took a lot of focus; which meant my mind couldn’t wander. It meant that there was nothing else to think about.

Or at least that was the mission.

Every so often my mind would wander. Move on to thoughts that I couldn’t afford to have playing in my head. They never led anywhere good and I could not spiral. I would not allow myself to spiral. 

So, I tried my hardest to focus on the task at hand. To build the best house I could, without making a mess with the icing, though it already covered the shirt I wore and there was a swipe of it on my face. A shower being the plan for whenever all the building was finished, as well as some laundry because the shirt was Yoongi’s. He’d either end me or make fun of me for the mess I’d made.

That sounded nice, another distraction to what had woken me up in the middle of the night. I’d been in bed by eight - which was a miracle - and then up by nine. A nightmare waking me and before I could recover from it the feeling of being overwhelmed hit. 

I’d tried breathing and listening to music, but it didn't help and sleep hadn’t come. The moment I’d risen from the bed to get some water I’d sat right back down. I’d felt lightheaded and my breathing irregular. It came so quickly I hadn’t had the chance to truly register it until tears ran down my face and the room was spinning.

Calling Yoongi or someone was an option, but I wanted to work through it alone. So, I’d ended up spending half an hour sobbing and trying to pull it together. And even when I had, the feeling still lingered. The weight was still there. 

So, I’d downed two glasses of water and gone for a walk. Which helped, but if I wandered I was back to square one in an instant. And it was horrible because I couldn’t pinpoint the exact trigger. What the final push was into a headspace that sent my anxiety through the roof. It felt so random.

The random attacks were always the worst. The most intense. The most draining. 

After a while, I found myself in some store and in front of an endcap that was filled with gingerbread. I walked away and come back with a cart, filling it with most of their stock and carrying back the many bags back to Yoongi’s condo.

The doorman looked at me weird but said nothing as I made my way up. And that’s how I ended up with a table filled with gingerbread houses. 

Not a perfect distraction, but it had its perks. 

One of them being that I lost track of time. 

Just as I was finishing my gumdrop roof Yoongi came through the door and I nearly knocked over my house. It took several seconds but when he finally saw me, he wore the same shocked expression.

“Uh…” I said.

His gaze only grew more perplexed, his eyes taking in me and then the table before his gaze returned to me. He didn’t utter a word for a moment, just moved closer to take in my creations and then the bags on the floor beside the table.

I didn’t feel an ounce of judgment, just utter confusion.

“Are you seriously making a gingerbread house at midnight?” he asked.

“I… uh, I…” I couldn’t find the words to respond, so I just nodded. 

Explaining my madness felt like an impossible task. At least explaining it the way I wanted to in order to fully express my feelings did. 

“Why?” 

Yoongi was focused solely on me and I was avoiding his gaze as I tried to grasp at the words. Until his hand moved to gently grip at my chin, forcing me to look at him. He didn’t say a word, just examined my face. 

I knew what he saw. The red eyes and the places where tears once sat. Even during my building, a few had escaped here and there.

“Why didn’t you call?” His voice was gentle.

I sighed, chewing on my lip. “I wanted to try and work through it this time. By myself. For the times I can’t reach anyone so I know that I can work through it and not just spiral further.”

He frowned at that, but I knew he couldn’t argue with it. At least not in the way he’d prefer.

Yoongi sighed. “Next time call me or someone, please. I know you want to make the effort, but I’d much prefer you let me know. You can still try on your own, but please just let me know. As long as you have it in you to be able to call at least.”

Objection was on the tip of my tongue, but it died there. I nodded my head and reminded myself that he wasn’t wrong. Someone knowing was better than letting it get too far while I tried to regain control.

“I will.”

Yoon leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead, nose and then lips. All of them gentle and had this weird calming effect on me. When he pulled away, he smiled at me and wiped away a new set of tears that broke free. 

Without another word he pulled a chair up closer to me, plopping down into it. He pulled out his phone and started tapping around. 

“What do you want to drink?” he asked.

That’s when I knew he must have been ordering food. “Anything is fine.”

He nodded and didn’t look my way until he finished his task. In that time, I’d finished my roof and was pulling out another kit. Which he promptly snatched from me.

“Excuse me?” I asked, appalled.

Yoongi smirked and I was tempted to snatch it back, but then he turned to me his expression serious.

“Your little town or city is good, but have you thought about trying to recreate Hogwarts?”

I had not. Which was weird since we’re binge-watched Threadbanger videos the previous day and Corrine had attempted that.

“You my love are brilliant,” I said, leaning over to kiss him.

When I pulled up, he was grinning and attempting to wiggle his eyebrows, which sent me into a fit of giggles.

“I’m a genius. Everyone knows that.”

I scoffed. “Wouldn’t take it that far.”

He pouted and nudged me a little, but it didn’t last for long. Soon his brows were furrowed and he was focused on unpacking the kit. 

Once we reached the park, which was near the Han River, I plopped onto a bench and allowed my body to slouch. Yoon rolled his eyes again and left me there, venturing over to a vendor. Minutes later when I felt slightly better he returned with hot chocolate for the both of us.

We remained in blissful silence for a while, just people watching and using the hot chocolate to warm up. Then his head was leaning on my shoulder. When I glanced down he looked so cute, even if only half of his face was visible to me.

“You’re tired. We could have stayed in,” I said softly.

He huffed, shaking his head but not removing it from my shoulder. “No. I wanted to. You needed to be celebrated. Your new book comes out in a week and you just finished helping with the TXT album. You earned it.”

His sweetness always made me smile. I appreciated the sentiment, though part of me hated it and my stomach churned from awkwardness instead of overeating.

“Thank you. I appreciate the celebration.”

“You better,” he grumbled, though I saw the smile he wore.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. My gaze traveled back towards a group of people oblivious to us walking around the park laughing. But when I heard a loud sigh I glanced back down to find him frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head as if to deter me, but then suddenly sat up and turned to me.

“When do you leave again?” he asked, voice way to neutral.

And in the end, it all made sense. We’d already had a mini celebration a week ago when I was supposed to head to the states, but that had been pushed back. So when he’d proposed another I’d been confused. I went with it though because it was hard to say no.

“Is that why we’re out here and you’ve been extra cuddly all week?” I asked, turning to face him completely.

Yoongi took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m used to this, but I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t suck more this time. I’m finally on a break and you’re going to be across the world for two months. Which is made worse because I wanted to visit New York and Cali just because and would love to use you as an excuse and can’t because people can’t mind their business.”

He’d been talking about going for months, just roaming about and meeting up with some people. And when I’d announced I had a small book tour to do, would be in New York for a bit and had some work in Cali he’d been even more excited. Then he remembered we weren’t out and people would cause problems.

“You could always use to cover of joining me at work. Wouldn’t be crazy that Columbia would be using one of their producers and someone she’s worked with for a project,” I offered.

He scoffed. “Big Hit producer.”

“My bad.”

I held my hands up in surrender, trying so hard to laugh. Before I could decide on if I should leave Columbia they pulled me into a conference room and offered me a new contract. One where I was full-time for Big Hit, but also a contract worker for them still. It was more official than just making me a freelancer. I’d taken it because it made me nervous, but not as much as the others had.

When I’d made the announcement it took a few weeks for me to change my bio on my verified Twitter account to state both. Hals being Hals called me out on it and then the boys took turns dragging me for it.

It was all in jest, but if I said I was a Columbia producer Yoongi got fake snooty on me.

Again we descended into silence, but I could feel his offness about the whole thing. He was going to cling onto it and I hated to have him upset about it.

“Well, you could still go. It’s not like we’ll be together or in the same states the whole time. And I don’t… mind.”

His eyes went wide and I avoided making direct eye contact with him. Deep inside I was still very unsure of what I’d gotten myself into.

When too much time passed and I was getting worried he stood up and pulled me up with him. Still not uttering a word he led me away from the park.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Home.”

So, that was either of our apartments. Which was totally fine by me, but it left me confused still.

“Why so suddenly?”

He didn’t say anything, just kept walking. Asking more questions would get me no answers if he wasn’t ready to give them; plus it may have been a conversation that needed to happen in private.

After some time we reached the area around my place; it was bustling with people as per usual. And so I was more focused on making sure no one was staring too hard our way to see why he suddenly stopped and made me slam into him.

When I looked to him for answers he released my hand and started typing away on his phone. But before I could scold him I noticed a few people staring way too hard. Grabbing his hand I carefully led him through the crows, hoping we mixed in and then stopped in a small alleyway. It was one you had to almost be looking for to notice.

“You can’t do that. People clock you from half a mile away, so being near my apartment and just standing out in the open is not good.”

Yoongi held up a finger and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He glanced at me for a second and then I was against the wall of the buildings we were between. Then his mask was down and his intent stare told me what was happening before I even felt his lips.

Pulling away was tempting, but not enough. On reflex I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed close to him, deepening the kiss. Yoongi moved closer as well, pressing me into the wall; his hands resting firmly on my hips. For several seconds I got so caught up in it I forgot he was shoving his tongue down my throat in public. Then there was a flash and I came too.

When I pushed him away my head whipped to the side and I was some girls scrambling away. My mouth was agape in shock and when I turned to Yoongi he was pushing his mask back up, but I could see that stupid smirk.

“You did that on purpose,” I shouted.

Yoongi shrugged and dragged me towards my building.

The next day I was welcomed to Twitter by a series of notifications and quote tweets of the pictures or the release from Big Hit confirming things. I ended up having to back out quickly, hoping the chaos would die down some.

Sometimes I just felt like being a little difficult. I could guess that he was rolling his eyes at me.

Just do it.

please

Even though I knew I was already listening the guilt still hit me, making me want to start something I was already doing. He’d been using please a lot lately and eliciting that feeling from me.

You know I already am. Will report back soon

After that, I exited the app and restarted the first song. Leaning back in my chair I relaxed, focusing solely on the music filling my studio. It was the softest of the songs we’d worked on, but still couldn’t be considered soft. The bass alone ensured that.

One song poured into the other and each one growing a little more in its intensity. He was pouring out his feelings, but none of them were on the level that the first Agust D mini; thankfully.

Hearing them while not in the studio making them made them sound different. I was less worried about picking things apart and could actually enjoy them. When it came to the end I was kind of sad it was over, but I also knew I had one more song left. The one I’d been banned from hearing.

There was a long pause and then a very soft sound started playing. It sounded like the piano and after several seconds it was confirmed. It was very beautiful and I got wrapped up in it as it continued on with nothing else. What shocked me was that as it grew softer again the sound of a cello rang out. They paired together and played off one another. Though it wasn’t something to be terribly shocked by, it was the fact that the piece playing was by me. I’d allowed him a few of my recorded pieces to hold on to.

As I pulled myself together, I realized that it had gone on well over a minute with nothing besides the instruments. Unlocking the phone and glancing down at the time total I gawked at the nearly six-minute length.

“Holy shit.”

I wanted to message him and question it, but remained still and listened. After several more moments, there was a throat clear, but before I could question its place there was singing. It was soft and a bit rough, but it worked well.

Yoongi’s voice fills the space after, his style of rap soft and a little rough; almost singing.

You don’t expect them to step in

Alter your feelings and your focus

Make you feel different

Realize you’re whole

That they weren’t the cause

but they complimented it

That you loving yourself worked

And now as you love them it’s pure

Not you becoming dependent

Like you were before

It went on and I just sat there opened mouth. The lyrics were surprising and vastly different from the rest of the mini. Those coupled with the beautiful instruments in the background brought me to tears.

After the song ended and the mini restarted it took a bit to collect myself. Once I did, I remembered I was to report back. The group chat was on fire, everyone announcing how much they loved it. I came in just as they were getting into the bonus track.

Kook: So that’s the track you were hiding?

Jimin: It was different and so good

Hobi: Told you it would be

Hobi: His inspo was too strong. Speaking of

He must have pressed send before he could finish it, which gave me time to slide in before he could finish. Ever since we’d talked about the whole awkwardness he’d been laying on the implications thick. It was worse when they’d come back to the states for some shows. I’d been bombarded that morning about finishing work early and coming to hang out with them.

It was great. I’m a little biased, but everything sounded better than I imagined it did. And the bonus song is great, I didn’t know you were going to use the cello piece.

Hoseok’s typing stopped and that made me feel better, but then Yoongi started.

It just felt right.

Not a word else was said and no one appeared to be typing anything. I had no clue how to proceed, my feelings about the last song hadn’t even processed yet. And they were taking longer since Hoseok mentioned Yoongi’s inspiration. I was never one to assume something like that was a grand gesture for me, but the thought had planted itself in my head.

Joon: Anyways… Yoongi went live and that’s why he’s quiet. And stay off Twitter Ken, it’s not as bad as before but the bad always seem to climb to the top of your mentions.

Part of me wanted to look, but I decided against it.

I will. Got some things to work on so I can leave.

With that, I sat my phone down and turned back to the paperwork in front of me. It was a large stack, the sudden change to the contract having come in a week ago. It was a lot and very different from what I expected when I started the process, it made me so excited though. It was a new chapter and a great step.

I made sure both copies were signed and then closed it back. Just as I finished my door was opened and in came Marcus; he looked stressed.

“Did you finish?” he asked.

“Yeah, but uh are you okay?”

He nodded, expression unchanging. After a moment he sighed and I could see the tired in his eyes. “Yeah. Well, I will be. Just a lot going on with work and other things, so I’m trying to stay on top of it. Just a few more things today and then I’ll be clear for a reasonably calm weekend.”

Part of me wanted to press, but I knew well enough that holding him up would make the anxiety he was probably feeling worse.

I handed him the papers and with a quick bye he was off and I was alone again. My eyes glanced to the phone, but instead of picking it up I just stared.

All that I could think about was the song. With the instrumental alone it spoke to me. The piece that was used had been a random mish-mash of some other pieces I’d been practicing. I’d wanted to pair it with another string eventually, but hearing it with a piano felt so right.

And then there were the words. They spoke to me as a person who wasn’t into the chaoticness of love and relationships. Being comfortable with myself and being able to care for another was all I ever wanted. I’d experienced not being able to profess my self-love and worthy and loving another so wholly. It wasn’t the wrong way per se, and I learned to accept me during the relationship's duration but it always felt like I was putting in so much work to make us both happy.

The final nail in the coffin for it was the possibility that it could be in reference to me. He could have been talking about anything or past experiences, but he hadn’t let me see any of it. I’d almost heard a single second of it one day and he nearly had a fit.

Groaning, I rested my head on the desk. We really needed to talk. The longer I was left unsure the more my mind raced and lingered on things that I would normally brush over.

So after several minutes of agitation, I came to the conclusion to wait until his live was over and then see if we could meet that day.

Grabbing my phone I unlocked it and went to the Vlive to watch. He’d been on for a bit and seemed to not stopping anytime soon, so I just sat and watched.

He was chatting animatedly with those in the chat about the mini. How he’d decided he wanted to do another one and how to proceed with it. Everyone appeared to be happy and loving it. Many saying that they were still playing it in the background as they watched him.

“Well, once I had some lyrics and an idea I talked to Joon and he recommended Sailor V or Kendall as many of you know. I loved what they did for his song so I got in contact. Things worked so well and I’m very proud of where we got the songs. She worked on every song, even the last one even though she wasn’t allowed to hear it until today. The strings you hear is her playing the cello.”

The bonus track was so good

i lovved the whole mini

The cello sounded good w/ piano

she plays cello!??!??!

why not just have Adora help

IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD. WILL WE EVER GET THAT SONG LIVE?

I knew he saw the comment about having Adora produce with him, it was the way his lips almost pushed down into a frown. He played it off well though.

“Live? Well, that would be up to, Kendall. She loved the song, but she might still be a little miffed that I wouldn’t let her here it all these months.”

He wasn’t wrong. I was feeling salty about that.

Adora could have helped

please get her to do it, it would be awesome

Why didn’t you just work with Joon?

it would have been just as good if not better with Slow Rabbit pd

Stop being mean about Kendall. She did good and seems nice

Do you think Yoongi wants to see hate to his friend

“I really don’t,” he said.

It was an obvious mistake on his part, but that didn’t stop him from running with it. I think he’d reached a new level of fed up.

“Kendall has been a great help to me and a great friend. She’s accepted this project and my friendship all while knowing how chaotic some can get with hate and accusations. When it hate and messed up comments came her way she stayed, when we all would have understood her dropping out. She’s helped so much with the direction of the mini. Made sure to accommodate me, while also pushing me on things when I’m refusing. She’s been a great friend to me and the other guys. Nothing she’s done has warranted this hate.”

He paused, closing his eyes and I thought he was done. I was very wrong.

“For you all to sit here and disrespect her because of her race or getting close to us or even rumors of us dating isn’t okay. She is undeserving of the hate. And you show your true nature when you attack her for these things. If me possibly dating someone or getting close to a woman bothers you so much, then that’s a problem. I’m a human being and I’m allowed to experience happiness whether it be platonic or romantic.”

Another pause and this time his hand moved towards the screen as if he were going to end the live. “Please think about your behavior. No one should be attacked for something like this. It’s not what we as artists stand for.”

And just like that he was gone. There had been a flurry of pleadings to not leave yet before the screen shifted, but obviously he hadn’t heeded them.

A good chunk of me felt bad, I didn’t know if what he’d just done was okay. It was rare for artists to call out their fans, even when it needed to happen; like during fan wars. But part of me felt relieved and that Bang wouldn’t be too bothered. He’d shown that his own tolerance for nonsense was waning over the last year or so. Call outs and lawsuits came real quick.

I waited a few minutes and then called him, hoping he was alone and didn’t need to rush to do anything.

“Hi,” I said when he finally picked up.

“Hey,” his responded, voice gruff and clearly annoyed.

For a moment I remained silent, knowing what I wanted to say but unsure of how to say it.

“So I saw the live, well the last chunk of it. I’m sorry it was tainted by weirdos, trolls, and antis. Today was supposed to be a great day for you.”

He sighed, so loud that it made me jump and pull the phone away from my ear for a second.

“It’s… it’s fine. I expected them. It was just going so well and I just kind of forgot. And I’m just so frustrated so everything spilled out. So much build-up and I just feel like I can’t get it all out. I’m tired of holding in all these emotions. I just…” he trailed off.

The longer it was silent the more my stomach began to churn in discomfort. He sounded how I felt and I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure that his little tangent was about us. It felt like there was nothing I thought I could offer in the moment. Any words of comfort I could give seemed futile.

“You just what?” I tried to ask gently.

Another sigh and then the line went dead silent. Pulling the phone from my ear I noticed he’d hung up. My mouth went wide, shocked that he’d just leave it like that. I had no clue what the hell I did to deserve such swift dismissal.

Before I could figure out how to proceed my phone vibrated and then a message appeared on my screen.

There was no reason for me to be so hung up on her response; she’d left me on read for hours before. But the simple fact was that I could claim there was no reason, but there very well was.

Ever since I've confessed things had been awkward. Normal, but with this underlying tension between us. It was frustrating as hell.

Bringing it up was just so damn hard and I didn’t know how to proceed. Her heading back to the states made it harder because I wanted a face to face conversation. And I wanted it to be before the album release, but I didn’t foresee having the time to do so.

“You should have just told her,” Jungkook spoke out.

I jumped, having forgotten he was in my studio with me; the song I was working on was something for him and Hobi.

Turning in the chair - one I’d composed myself - I noticed he wasn’t even looking at me. And that Joon was also sitting on the couch next to him; when he’d left an hour ago.

“What do you have in mind to tell her?” I asked, feeling the annoyance creep up.

They just looked at each other, which didn’t help my mood at all. Silent conversations about my love life were not something I needed at that moment.

Joon cleared his throat. “I don’t know, maybe your feelings. That you can handle all the chaos and that it doesn’t change your feelings. One of you needs to stop being a punk.”

Even if he was right that didn’t stop me from glaring at me. He didn’t back down though, maintaining eye contact with me until I sighed and caved in.

“She did bring it up.”

“She did?” They screeched in unison.

They were so loud I cringed. “Yes, she did.”

“When?” Jungkook asked.

“A few weeks ago, I think. She said, “Hey, can we talk about that thing from two weeks ago” and I panicked, but was pulling it together to respond. Didn’t want her thinking I had changed my mind, but then Jungkook and Hobi burst in. The one time I didn’t have the door locked.”

Just thinking about it made me frustrated.

Without hesitation, Joon reached over and lightly punched the youngest in the arm. Though Kook looked appalled at first, he quickly turned to me and gave a sheepish smile.

“My bad.”

Joon rolled his eyes. “This is the second time you’ve helped prevent them getting together.”

Now he was actually offended. “Hey, you were there the first time. Also if I recall you were the one who wanted to head out early.”

Joon’s cheeks turned slightly red and then he changed the subject. “Not the point. Did you bring it up again?”

“Yes.” They were on the edge of their seats as I paused, gulping and diverting their gaze. “But I chickened out.”

The disappointment on their faces was so strong that I felt worse.

“Wait. Let me explain first.” They nodded and waited, still clearly unhappy with me. “We were on Facetime while she was getting ready to go into work and she was laughing at me as I raged about the end of the fourth season of Veronica Mars. And the urge was there and I opened my mouth to say it, but nothing came out. Then Halsey broke into her apartment and the moment was gone.”

Joon mumbled a curse and then whipped out his phone. He tapped the screen for a while and then threw it back beside him on the couch.

The silence remained for several seconds.

“You’re both dumb,” Jungkook blurted out.

Joon nodded in agreement. “He’s not wrong.”