#yo uh

“Have you ever seen a dead person before you came here?” | @bluescarfvivi​ sent !

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     How casual the question sounded--almost as though they were merely talking about the weather as of late. Rain, of course, would have been the answer, the constant sound of drumming against the roof more of a comfort than a hindrance. For a moment they had nothing to do but wait, to remain indoors and stay safe, or at the very least try. But to remain quiet? Impossible. Whenever Vivi was around, noise was sure to accompany her. Didn’t she ever get tired of talking?

     “Is that something you really want to know, or are you simply filling the time?” His voice was level, carefully masked, expression difficult to read. If the question had annoyed him his features gave no indication, and it might have been reasonable to suggest that he was simply bored. “I might ask you the same question--if I was interested enough in hearing your answer.”

    Sharp eyes turned to survey Vivi, cold and calculating despite the warmth of color reflecting in them from the room’s soft, amber light. Should he choose to decline answering he was certain the woman wouldn’t push for more, but something in that moment left him feeling strangely talkative. Perhaps it was just the fact that he knew he could affect her, but only one other person in the world had ever drawn as much out of him with relative ease. But then, Vivi did remind him of a certain Phantom Thief...

     “The first body I ever saw was that of my mother’s. I’ll never forget that day for as long as I live. I was four years old and staying with her during the day at a rehabilitation clinic. Her health was failing, and she chose to check herself into it in her final days. I remember how kind many of the nurses were, how they tried to help her, how the doctors tried to keep her alive, but it seemed as though she was determined to defy everyone. Four years living with a broken heart had left her weak, unfit. I was a burden, a drain on her incredibly limited resources. At times I’m amazed she survived as long as she did.”

     Of course, he couldn’t remember much before that. Surely she must have cared for him at some point; he survived four years with her, didn’t that mean she wanted him? He could remember her warmth, her rare smiles, the pain of living with a broken heart and a cursed child. By checking into that clinic she had told the world she truly wanted to keep living, right? Or would she have been better off to find a home for her child from the beginning? At least then Goro might have grown up with someone who cared about his continued survival. But no, she had died, tragic and rejected without ever making plans for her son. Of course, Goro placed the blame squarely on Shido for that. He was the one who killed her, after all.

     “I remember the nurses had left the room. I was sitting on the floor beside my mother’s chair--she always sat beside the window and stared out into the garden, as though waiting for someone she loved to come sweeping in through the flowers. In her final days she grew too weak to even move herself over to it, so someone would assist her and monitor her health. But it was as though she knew to wait, because moments after we were left alone her heart simply...gave out. I looked up at her, her eyes closed, her face pale, and something inside of me felt as though it gave out. I didn’t even know what was going on at the time. I shook her cold hand, called out for her, asked her to wake up. I remember getting to my feet and putting my hand on her shoulder and having the wild thought that my mother wasn’t there anymore, but how was that even possible? I could see her sitting there. It was ridiculous--so why wouldn’t she wake up? Why would she leave me?”

    Bitter laughter rumbled deep in his chest, a sound that seemed to surprise even him. Strange; he had hardly meant to go on in such detail, but once he opened that door it was as though everything just spilled out of him. As though he couldn’t stop. As painful as it was remembering that day, there was some comfort in actually talking about it. Besides, seeing Vivi’s reaction would probably make it all worth it. Would she regret opening her mouth? Would she pity him like everyone else did? Disgusting.