#yimwin

They don’t go clubbing often. To be honest, they barely ever go clubbing, none of them are really big fans. But since Tanai invited them out to celebrate his birthday, and Yim had the obligation to come as he was the birthday boy's boyfriend’s best friend, he might as well take Asawin with him.

To Yim’s delight, Asawin gets along fine with Guide and Runway, and surprisingly well with Tanai, actually, so as he leaves the table to go get drinks with Guide and Runway, he has a clear conscience. They get two shots each, just to make them warm and fuzzy. Yim does not want to get drunk, just slightly dizzy to let his body move freely to the music.

They stop on the dancefloor, close enough for Tanai and Asawin to see them from the table they sit at along with others of Tanai’s friends. Yim is grateful Tanai stopped being friends with him right after, because Yim probably won’t be enjoying himself dancing with Guide and Runway on I’m still standing right now if he didn’t.

Guide, who’s in front of him, looks from time to time behind Yim’s head and it really looks suspicious. Yim looks in that direction as well, but it’s too dark in the club and he doesn’t have his glasses on him, so he doesn’t see what makes Guide so interested.

“Dude, whatcha looking at?” Yim asks getting closer to him, but still moving to the rhythm.

“Nothing, don’t worry,” he says dismissing Yim, but Runway clears his throat. “There’s a guy at the bar that is kind of looking at… you, but don’t worry.” his other friend lets him know.

“Oh,” Yim mumbles as his moves start to flatten a little.

“Yeah, no need to worry.” Guide takes his arms and starts to move them chaotically, totally out of beat with the music. “You have both of us with you.”

He starts to laugh at the way Guide moves his arms, and he nods. He does have both Guide and Runway next to him, and some random guy looking at his butt across the dancefloor won’t mean anything, so continues dancing.

“I really want something to drink, but I don’t wanna go there alone,” he tells them after four or five more songs.

“I want something too, actually,” Runway says, “let’s go.”

When the three of them reach the bar, Yim is between Runway and Guide in line, and there are some people in front of them.

“Can I buy you a drink?”, he hears next to him and turns his head to the left.

There is a guy, and judging by the way Runway looks at him, it’s probably the same that looked at him on the dance floor. He’s smiling at Yim, and now that he’s close, he doesn’t look dangerous (but neither did Joe).

“Uh, n-no, it’s fine,” he tells him quickly, turning his attention to the bartender. If he ignores him, maybe he’ll just leave.

“Are you sure? I insist.” the guy is persistent and he can feel Guide tense behind him.

He reaches behind himself with his right hand, away from the guy’s eyes, and touches Guide to let him know everything is fine. He’s fine, really, both his friends here and is a public space.

“Yes, I appreciate it, but no need to.” he smiles politely, and this finally makes the guy leave with a bummed expression.

“Asawin is coming.” Runway tells him without making eye contact. Right after that, Yim sees his boyfriend walking to where they are, his brows furrowed.

“Someone’s jealous,” Guide whispers in his ear just before Asawin reaches them.

“Hey,” his boyfriend greets him, “what’s up?”

“Nothing much,” he smiles as Asawin tries to steal glances at the guy that just left. “What brings you here?” he asks innocently.

“I just wanted some water, that’s all,” he says, but his eyes are a second too late to meet Yim’s, and the boy bursts laughing. “What?”

Yim shakes his head at him, tells Guide to order two bottles of water for both of them, and brings both of his arms around Asawin’s neck, dragging him further from the bar.

“Are you jealous?” He asks amused. The alcohol clearly had an effect on Yim, because he doesn’t mind anymore being touchy with Win in public or directly confronting his boyfriend.

Win pouts at Yim’s amused face. “What did that guy want?”

“To buy me a drink. I refused,” he answers raising his shoulders. He starts to swing slowly to the rhythm, moving Asawin with him.

“Good.” his boyfriend says, bringing him closer by his waist.

“Runway and Guide said he was watching me for a while from the bar,” he adds, just to tease. This is new for Yim, Win getting jealous. It’s usually him the one that has to pout every time Asawin receives love letters at university.

“I know, wanted to crack his neck.”

Yim starts laughing, both because Asawin being mad at a random guy looking at him is very funny and also because he said this while his mouth was on Yim’s neck, tickling him.

“Don’t laugh!” Win pouts again.

“I’m sorry, P’”, Yim says mocking seriousness. “Just the mental image was too funny. Now, can ease your hold a little?”

Win eases the hold he had on Yim’s waist, looking at him apologetically.

Sorry this is SOOOO late, but here it is, idk why it has over 1k but I just couldn’t help myself.

Yim is sure Asawin is a perfect human being. He’s handsome, smart, has the most beautiful smile Yim has ever seen, has good grades, is the first in his year, has a nice body, is outspoken and confident. Yeah, Yim is sure the Universe just gave him everything. Which is why he finds it so hard to talk to him. Or to be next to him.

I feel like Asawin would treat Yim with a lot of care even without knowing what happened in the past. Like he would buy him treats and drinks and be explicit of his crush on him before they get together, and even after he would spoil Yim because he is his cute boyfriend and the most precious guy.

And I think Yim will be like ‘??? why is this happening’ and kinda overwhelmed bc his first contact with love was messed up and he thinks it’s kinda?? at least expected from his s/o to do shitty things bc he knows himself and he knows he will forgive them.

@syubsugaswaeg and @audoldends asked for it so (it’s mainly Yim venting and Asawin being a supportive boyfriend)

They have been together for a while now, and everything goes well until Asawin goes a little bit too close to Yim in bed and the boy just stiffens as his mind goes into panic. Every time Asawin’s hand is under his shirt, pressing against his flesh, his mind goes right back to that day with Joe and all he can think about is how much it hurt.

Of course, Asawin being the nicest man Yim knows, stops right away and apologizes, but it’s not really his fault, it’s Yim’s, and it’s not fair and he wants to scream, because he can’t do anything. Asawin never asks. At first he looked worried, after that, he started being sad, and then the man just stopped trying to touch Yim more than necessary in bed.

Which again, killed him slowly. It’s wasn’t like Yim didn’t want too. God, Asawin is so hot he has to deal with boners every time their make-out sessions are getting too much. Nobody hates his body’s response to Asawin more than him.

He needs to talk to him. At least, he needs to explain his boyfriend the reason why they didn’t have sex yet when Yim gets a boner just by being kissed on the neck.

He thinks a lot about when to do it and how, what to say, how to phrase it, he’s nothing but terrified of Asawin’s reaction.

He gets the chance when they’re in his dorm room. Yim feels safe here, a weird feeling that tells him nothing bad can touch him. He rests his head on his boyfriend’s chest, thoughts running around. Is this really happening, does he really have to say it? He feels so full, his heart so heavy.

“Baby, are you ok?”

The hand that Asawin used to run through Yim’s hair stops, and he uses the other one to raise up his chin, so they can look at each other. He’s worried, and Yim hates and loves it at the same time, because he doesn’t want his boyfriend to worry because if him, but it also feels so good to know he cares.

Now or else it will probably be too late and he will forever regret it.

“I… I actually want to talk to you about something.” He gets up, he needs to be a little away from Asawin to explain this.

This makes the man look even worried, and Yim realizes how his words sounded after weeks of refusing physical contact more than cuddling and kissing.

“No, no, it’s not about us! Well, it is, somehow, but it’s me. It’s about me.”

Asawin relaxes just a little, his brows furrowing instead.

“Did something happen?” He asks as he gets up too, keeping a safe distance between them, but still going in to hold Yim’s hand for support.

“It happened a while ago, when I was in high school. It’s just… I went out one day with Guide, Runway and Tanai, Guide’s boyfriend, that at the time used to like Runway. I think he liked Guide too, and just didn’t know. There were some of Tanai’s friends too. After we finished eating, one of them offered to take me home with his car, but then he stopped at his apartment because he said he needs to change…”

He looked at Asawin, his frown got even bigger than before but the hold he had on Yim’s hand was soft, careful not to be too much. Yim wanted to stop just so he can kiss him, kiss his face and make that frown disappear, but he knew he needs to tell all to Asawin. For both of them, because if he holds that night to himself anymore, he’s pretty sure he’s going to burst.

“We went upstairs, I didn’t really want to but he was Tanai’s friend so I figured out there’s nothing wrong. He just… asked me to touch him and he made it sound so casual, and before I know it, he just… jumps on me. He’s kissing me and touching me everywhere and all I know is that I don’t want it, I don’t want any of it.”

He feels his eyes wet, damn he really doesn’t need to cry now.

“It’s just that I always imagined my first time to be with someone I love and to be special, at least pleasurable, but it hurt so much and it made me feel so numb. And then everyone told me to just forget it and don’t think about it anymore. But even though I forgave him, I still can’t stop thinking about it. And I don’t want it because you’re so nice and I want you so much but every time I feel your hand on my stomach my mind goes back to that day and I can only think that it hurts hurts hurts and there’s nothing I can do.”

He’s sobbing, he can’t see Asawin clearly through his teary eyes anymore. All he knows is that he’s here, judging by the hand that’s still holding his.

“Yim…” he hears his boyfriend call softly. “Baby, my love, I’m here.”

The hand lets go, instead he feels both of them on his face, wiping away tears.

“I’m proud of you for being so brave to tell me, you’re so strong.”

His hands are still on Yim’s face, and he uses them to bring Yim closer, until his boyfriend’s forehead touches his.

“I promise I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you, I promise. You’re so precious to me, I love you a lot. It’s not your fault, none of it is your fault.”

“You’re not mad?”

Yim’s voice is still strained, but he stopped crying. He feels like he cried enough over that night, he’s tired of it.

“Of course not, baby, not at you, never at you. I’m mad at that asshole, and I’m mad a little at the people that told you to just not think about it instead of coping with it in a healthy way, but I’ll never be mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Ok, so maybe Yim likes his senior a little. It’s definitely not his fault, what’s there not to? Asawin is a trustworthy senior, he takes care of them, he is nice, smart, and ridiculously handsome. Yim didn’t really stand a chance.

It’s a Friday afternoon and they just finished their last hazing activity of the week. Yim is sitting next to Guide and Runway, but his eyes are actually after his senior. The problem is, Asawin makes him question a lot of things. Runway pointed out two days ago that the senior seems to be nicer with Yim, and Guide swears he saw him looking after Yim more than two times.

The fact that both his friends needed to tell him that was a very foolish thing to do, really, because now Yim can’t help but hope. Hope that Asawin really looks after him in the crowd when he can’t spot him right away, or asks his friends about him when he’s not around, or treats him just a little bit more special.

And Yim is nothing but a man with too much hope.

He doesn’t realize when he started drifting off, but when he stops thinking about the whole situation, Guide and Runway are no more next to him. He pouts, did his friends really leave him alone? He turns around to look for them, but he meets Asawin instead.

The senior smiles, that gorgeous smile of his, and hands Yim a drink.

“For me?” he asks dumbfounded, looking from the pink drink (strawberry lemonade?) to the man.

Asawin nods, still holding his smile.

“Enjoy it, N’Yim.” he says as he parts away, leaving Yim with a cold drink in his hand and a shocked expression.

A warm feeling inside his chest starts to bubble, and maybe his senior really likes him, really prefers him over his other juniors.

The feeling disappears suddenly, however, as soon as Yim sees the pink drink in the hands of Mos too. Then he sees Pie holding a plastic glass too, and when he turns around, he sees all his classmates holding one.

Oh, so his senior really just treated all of them with drinks. It makes sense, it’s the end of their first week and Asawin is the one responsible for them. That doesn’t stop the green monster in his chest, slowly starting to replace the bubbly feeling he had before. He’s such a fool, really, how could he even think Asawin likes him more than a simple junior? He needs to find Guide and Runway so he can tell them they’re lying liars who lie.

“Ow, what’s with that face?” Guide asks him as soon as he sees him. A green drink sits in his hand, too.

“I’m pretty sure you can see your pout from an airplane.” Runway adds.

Great. He has the best friends on Earth.

“I love you guys too.” He replies sourly.

He sighs, not caring enough about Guide and Runway’s conversation. He’s being a bad friend right now, but his mind just can’t focus on anything than the spark of jealousy in his chest. Of course he shouldn’t be jealous because Asawin bought all of them drinks, he didn’t even have a reason to, considering the senior is nothing but a senior and he sees Yim as nothing but a junior. That doesn’t mean he is comforted in any way.

“Nong Yim!” He hears his name getting called, and when he searches for the voice, he sees Asawin in the other side of the hall, gesturing for him to go there.

Guide throws him a look and winks, but Yim just rolls his eyes at him and goes to Asawin. If he is a little too fast, he will just pretend it didn’t happen.

“What is it, P’?” He looks at his senior as he gets something from his bag.

“This is for you. Only.” Asawin stresses the last word, looking straight into Yim’s eyes.

When Yim looks at what he was handled, he sees a bag with a custard bun inside. He forgets how words work for a moment, and can only look at Asawin with the biggest eyes and a question all of his face.

“I got it while I was ordering the drinks. Don’t tell the others.” He smirked, and Yim is really wondering if he’ll get to see the light of tomorrow. “Now stop pouting, my heart can’t take it.”