#yikesforever

I always wondered what could have been if he were still alive. The man was constantly trying to make amends for my bloodline, despite me never asking to be born in the first place. But lust tends to do that to people... A temporary euphoria that everyone is willing to experience, but not the consequences of it. I suppose that’s unfair to say about my him though. He could have left me be, I was already labeled as the half-breed bastard child. But he remained by my side for 15 summers. My caretaker told me of how he was in the room when I was born. Quite uncommon with eastern traditions... He held me before my own mother did. 

He had plans for me, become a respectable woman within the society and marry someone who could offer his little girl some stability in life. Perhaps my mother was trying to do that as well... But she was greedy, and desperate.

Koretane Daito was his name, a pure bred Raen with a notable smile. Arranged marriages weren’t suppose to be comfortable in the first place, but he was handsome, and obviously an appropriate height... but lacked any real emotions in those eyes of his. People found him to be quite charismatic, could hold a conversation with ease and captivate the entire room whole doing so. Though in time I came to realize something, he smiled at everyone else, but me. 

I did everything I was ever told to do, behaved like I was suppose to. Why were these values embedded into my mind... only to be punished in the end? The towering raen only looked to me with contempt, perhaps he hated me from the beginning? I had better conversations with an infant than I did him. Plenty of nights would pass when he wouldn’t come home, and I dared not ask where he was. Things would become more intense with the consumption of alcohol. One might think these au ras can handle their liquor... but clearly not. Screaming matches would ignite, broken glass making it’s way to the floor... and the walls. When that wouldn’t be enough...  Bruises could be found throughout my body the next day.