Top Posts Tagged with #yet still...

I find it hilarious that were they truly to marry and ascend the throne, Jacaerys Velaryon and Baela Targaryen would seemingly keep her name.

#ASoIaF #Fire & Blood #Jacaerys Velaryon #Baela Targaryen #Jacaela #V #valyrianscrolls #Sure #the Royal line goes officially through him via his mother #yet still...#Plus I love that it would 'fix' skipping Rhaenys.#A woman would have the Throne #and Rhaenys' grandchildren from both sides would reign.#*sighs*#What could've been...

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I chose to shrink myself again

In regard to the person I love

Within my own home, too

Because the two align in ways I could have never predicted

And they see me the same way

Negative. Incessant. Blameworthy. Overbearing. Sensitive. Irrational. Miserable.

And they may be the only ones, but they have the biggest impact

.

I tried to speak up, tried to be true to myself, tried to honour myself, tried to make myself heard

But I've chosen silence

Because these are the people who see my upset as causing a problem. Who meet my hurt with frustration. Who add to it. Dismiss it. Diminish it. And block me out.

.

I have chosen to shrink myself

I'm not proud of it

There's just too much upset

And if the only way I can prevent an increase is to pretend there is no upset at all, then that's what I'll do

.

I just wanna be left alone.

#mine #i hate how strong that desire for solitude is #im so loney #yet still...#maybe my peace lies in retreat #intermittent contact and shallow interactions #a heart that never opens #a mind that never speaks its deepest thoughts #when im quiet. they're happy #when i hold in my hurt. they find a way to enjoy me #im not sure I'll ever find an existence where i can speak my heart without negative repurcussion #I'll accept it soon enough and I'll used to biting my tongue again #and it will start to feel normal again #it's just a rough road getting there #and it takes time to pay off #for now. I'll be silent. and I'll endure the hostility and the assumption that im gonna create a further problem #things will eventually fall into place #and I'll find distance. emotionally. from this existence

There's only one place where I have the luxury of not being known as myself. It's a nice break. Do I dare ruin it?

#suggestion #I.. I want to tell him but I'm not sure I have the courage #Perhaps he'll see this post and figure it out himself before I tell him #I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it aha #Yet still...#i am unsure

I'm sorry this blog became nothing but love live and idolmaster

#ok but not really #yet still...

Trying to find a good historic illustration of the blockage of the coronary arteries in heart disease.

Find a book called "Diseases of the Heart" boasting illustrations! Great! It's more recent than the ones I have, being written in 1931!

Click on the link for said book.

Find "Exploratory wells drilled outside oil and gas fields in California reported December 31, 1950."

Sigh.

#openlibrary #my best resource #yet still...#so many problems.#blah blah blah